Wednesday, June 15, 2016

In secret?

Statues of Mary and Jesus outside Maria's many homes with the military!
St Patrick in El Paso along with the intercession of our Lady/rosary joining me in prayers for grandson, Patrick, about 3 1/2 years ago!

I have a dilemma since reading the Gospel for about 3 times starting last night...  I am notorious for having a rosary in my hand when I am traveling or doing errands.  Many times I climb out of my car with my rosary in hand, and maybe walk into a store or business with it still in my fingers.  I am sure that many have witnessed my prayer beads, and probably paused at the sight.  I find myself catching myself as I walk into shop and put my rosary back in my purse until I am done and back in my car and then the first thing I do is dig them out.  To be honest, when I notice that maybe I have shown them to others... I have felt that it was probably a witness to them of the importance of prayer without ceasing..
David praying with his two grandmas when he was 3 for his brother, Patrick.

I had a sudden rush of shame of wrong doing this morning as I read the words of Christ in the Gospel telling us that we are to pray and do good works and fast "in secret" so that we are not doing it to be recognized as this great person by others, but only by our God!  These moments of giving and praying and disciplining our selfishness and indulgence/denying our selves are to be between us and our Lord and we are to be humble and secretive about our works and faith? 
The worn rosary gifted to Patrick by an older gentleman, who had a son with Downs Syndrome named Patrick, and it witnessed to us without using words of all the prayers said over the years.  Such an amazing gift and witness to Faith!  The elderly gentleman's daughter expressed her shame at her father giving us this old worn out gift, but we assured her this was precious to us, and would be treasured always!  Yes, countless rosaries and prayers were said on this broken and mended many times over rosary in secret, but now the evidence of those prayers has been shared with us and lifted us up at a time of great distress and fear for how our Patrick would come out of being born dead and brought back to life!
Praying?  It appears as though he has an invisible rosary in his hands with the cross reflection on his sheet from a cross on the wall in the sunlight!

Am I wrong to absent mindedly pray in public?  My prayer time is so precious to me and each day I long to get my 10 decades of my rosary prayed for my kids (5), husband, God children, family needs, The Church, and those that ask of our prayers with specific needs!  I use the rosary to assist me in meditating on Mary interceding to her Son for all the needs in my life.  After a morning busy with my tasks... after lunch I reach for the beads!  If that includes time doing errands or going places - the car becomes my chapel of wheels!
 Mary in the chapel in Kansas City a few years back with her namesake - Mary, Our Lady of Guadalupe! 

I tend to have those beads in my hands often when I sit in an office waiting to see a doctor or waiting for any appointment.  I am not speaking the words out loud, but the beads are not hidden they are there for all to see, although most ignore or are in their own little world.  If asked I would gladly share how this is of utmost importance to me each day.  How prayers have been answered and gotten us through huge storms in life.  We are approaching our 7 year anniversary this weekend of John's brain cancer!
Mary learning how to set up for daily mass with Hallel showing her how - The Community of the Lamb each day celebrate mass followed by adoration... a closer walk with their spouse, Jesus Christ!  It is there that we know our Little Sister Hallel/Susan lifts up our needs.  These prayers in secret yet they are huge for us in the needs that we have to face.  We try to get our big family happenings to her - like with each new pregnancy or John's between jobs and asking for direction... we try to give her a call from time to time so she knows how and for what to be praying.  This is how she joins with the family and is a part of our journey!
 The 4 girls before John joined the family - how I loved to dress them alike and so I sewed!

Pondering this question of just what "in secret" really means with my blatant saying of my rosary, and allowing some others to randomly see this.  I am recalling how special it is to see someone without shame wearing a medal of Mary or the Saints... it is proclaiming to all that this is beloved to you and if asked you would willingly share the beauty and truth that you have found there!  I feel similarly about my showing my  rosary from time to time.
The 5 just moments before Hallel/Susan left for joining The Community of the Lamb in France - Sept 11, 1008!

Jesus, yes, we are to keep any prideful showing of our spiritual works quiet by doing them "in secret."  We are to be humble and keep our good works to ourselves.  We are to serve without counting the cost and love and adore you at all times and only when necessary use words.  May we carry/drag our most Cherished Cross and follow after you without complaint or any hoopla, and if we do we will find LIFE/LOVE/LIGHT!  Jesus, we trust in you.  Amen and Hallelujah

The broilers this morning enjoying a clean water dish.

My rosary is calling out to me!  This sharing got late today and is being wrapped up at Pat's mother's house for the afternoon.  She is down for a nap, and so the peace I love is given to me!  Bless-bless, Barbara Luke
Pat and John working at our place today!  Cleaning out the chicken house and repairing the fence around the paddock.  Thank you!
I know that John is praying for his future while he helps Pat and I.  We trust that he will find his path!

Casting crowns - Praise  you in the storm
Danielle Rose - If I touch him

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