Friday, September 23, 2016

A time for every season... a time to be a contemplative and a time to be a farmwife/mother/grandmother/hospice nurse

Yesterday afternoon "praying in solitude" in the chapel in KC - Lumen Christi/LIGHT of Christ little monastery.  Jesus called me forward to gaze upon the tabernacle as name each member of our families - lifting them up to Jesus!  This is no small feat with our numbers reaching now about 200 combined!  It gives me great joy to add new ones like the little one Ruth and Paul announced this week.  I feel the joy well up in me as I place them in the loving arms of Jesus!
A wooden partition has been built and my chair was hidden there.  Being so close kept the distractions at bay while I did my litany of Family.  Being in such a holy place I felt like the shawl over my head was good to recall that I was in His presence!
"My Jesus, I love you so much!"

Reading the readings for today in the chapel this morning for the second time, as I have learned from The Community to read them for the next day the night before with great excitement!  The famous reading from Ecclesiastes was a delight to find!  "There is an appointed time for every season..."  How strongly I feel this Truth in this experience this week, knowing that I am being given the gift of peaceful isolated contemplation of Jesus in this beautiful humble place.
Well, maybe I was a little distracted by the sight of this tree out the window over the altar... I have such fond memories of having a picnic under this tree years back with Hallel and Ruth and Paul's family behind the old monastery they had put in the existing Belgian rectory.  How I miss my sweet daughter, and long for a real hug soon!
The icon of the Trinity/God, the tabernacle aglow with Jesus, and my tree of fond memories framed my litany of the family.  I love to start with our parents and then from oldest to youngest, and our family is prayed for twice as we start my family order and are #6 in Pat's!  We can use the prayers twice by all means!
The Community will return to KC on October 5th, so I will miss them.  I feel their presence and know of their prayers for me as I am here this week!

In my conversations with my husband... I am reminded of my life which I will be returning to of farmwife, mother and grandmother, and my time with Pat's mom as a hospice nurse.  I feel a sadness at knowing that this peaceful island is ending today, yet it is filling me with the strength I need to go forward into my vocation and continue to share the LIGHT I have been blessed with here.
I have become quite proficient at coming from the burbs to the inner city on the highways.  I felt sad that this will be the last day the sight of the row houses will greet me.  It brings a feeling of arriving at our home in KC with The Community into my heart and soul.  Now I have Nancy living here, too, and my nights with her family have been special!
I held Josephine while the other 3 and mom made me this amazing poster of WE LOVE YOU GRANDMA... I love it!  It was dictated by Bernadette and was supposed to say; "We love you grandma, because you love the little Sisters, and we love them, too!"  But due to space they shortened it.
My time spent with sweet 4 month old Josephine and her cow.  She is starting to use her hands more and more with each new day!
"I love cows!"  That's a good thing, because your mom is a farmgirl and you will get to know the farm more and more!
It has been so great to have this time with Nancy's kids... they are a joy for me to get to know better!

The Gospel today was read in the silent peaceful light filled chapel this morning, and knowing that in France The Community is reading and chanting each line to allow the Spirit to speak to them and through the contemplation change them into Christ's!
Two silly goof balls with mom's costume glasses!

The question of Jesus in the Gospel today to me..."But who do you say that I am?"  The tears jumped into my eyes and the love flowed all around and through me as the Spirit worked in me, and has given me so much close time with my Jesus this week!  The tabernacle calls me there throughout the day, and I am fed with The Word, and the Saints - today St Pio is so much filling me with the power and Truth of The Cross always bringing us to Jesus/LIGHT/LOVE/LIFE!
The role model for all mothers!
My 3 daughters, who have answered the call to be mothers - open to life and raising lights!  Always look to your spiritual Mother, Mary with Jesus adoring her!  I pray that I can be a little bit like her in your lives... saying "yes" without counting the cost!
I pray to St Agnes that she may intercede for these children and protect their purity!

Jesus, I need you and I love you with all my heart!  Thank you for this time away from the distractions that come between us and the special graces I have been given in this place of "solitude."  May my answer to your question be that I love you with everything because you are my all in all!  All I yearn for is to be forever with you in heaven, and may my time in this world be more positive and more loving and serving those in my life.  May I die to self so that I may give without counting the cost!  And if I am hurt along the way - may I live this way - "Wounded I will not cease to love!"  May the vision of the Lamb fill me with the courage to embrace my Most Cherished Cross and go forth down the narrow path whether I have to drag it rather than carry in on these weak shoulders.  I need you my Jesus!  Jesus, I trust in you.  Amen and Hallelujah
I think I figured out this mystery icon... St Joseph with the two turtledoves he sacrificed at the temple for Jesus!  LOVE!  Bless-bless, Barbara Luke
The family room where I have been "camped out" this week.  I stayed here when I saw Hallel last - a year ago Easter!
I haven't had my bowl of coffee each day, but my bowl of tomato soup.  Today Nancy with her 3 youngest and a missionary friend are joining me for my last lunch here in the monastery.  The solitude will disappear at lunch time... the only thing missing will be the laughter and visiting of our dear little Sisters! 
One more of my most beautiful poster - we were dancing to Motown music while Nancy made supper!
Bernadette is quite the dancer!
I had to get some last pictures of our home in KC... the sun has shown brightly each day!  It gets into the 90s by afternoon.
my shadow...


My last day of answering the door...
As close as I get to being the contemplative nun I discerned, but from time to time it is a special gift!  I have a little Sister Hallel because of my discerning a call!  So blessed and grateful and given a small time to be "contemplative and poor" from time to time.  Thank you, Lord!
St. Padre Pio, friar, priest, and mystic, pray for us!
So true!
Saint of the Day!
St. Padre Pio of Pietrelcina (1887–1968) was born to peasant farmers in southern Italy. By the time he was 5 years old he entered into a life ...of penance and made the decision to give himself completely to God. He grew up working in the fields, and at the age of 19 joined the Capuchin friars. His Franciscan spirituality was characterized by a life of poverty, love of nature, and charity to those in need, especially to those who were his "spiritual children." St. Padre Pio was able to do many incredible and miraculous things which were well-documented from multiple reliable sources, including bilocation, levitation, reading souls, and physical healing by touch. Word spread of his holiness and people both pious and curious flocked to see him, especially to have him hear their confession. He is the first known priest to have received the stigmata, for which he suffered suspicion and investigation. Because of the unusual supernatural phenomena surrounding his life, he is known as one of the great visionaries and mystics of the Church. Padre Pio died in 1968 at the age of 81. He was canonized by Pope St. John Paul II in 2002. Because of the many miracles he performed during his life, he is commonly invoked as a healing saint for various ailments.
Lauren Daigle - Trust in you
Lauren Daigle - How can it be
I am yours
St Pio pray for us
A cool picture from Maria today - tomorrow I will be twisting my way to them in Missouri!


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