Mary holds my second daughter, Nancy, as my dad, Deacon Robert Cross, pours the waters of Baptism over tiny Nancy's head. Mary was her Godmother, which only made sense since she came to take care of me, my husband, and our 2 year old daughter, Ruth, while I was on bedrest for toxemia in my second pregnancy. Mary was a city girl just like me, and she fell in love with the farm. She pitched in with great excitement - milking cows morning and night along with Pat and his brother, Donny. Actually, Mary did the chores of feeding the cows and calves while Pat or Don milked the cows. They both were very impressed by what a hard worker she was. Since I was on my feet again and able to take care of my family and farm duties, it was time to say goodbye to my sister. There were tears at our parting... we had become very close and now we shared a love of the farm!
I am the oldest of 11 children, and Mary is the 5th child... we are 7 years apart in age. Growing up we spent a lot of time together in our beloved Michigan - Up North. We would go for walks on the beach together with her under my arm - sharing our thoughts as we fossil hunted and ran in and out of the water together. We had a special bond which continued into adulthood. We both made our wrong twists and turns but were surrounded by a wonderful faith filled family that kept us from wandering too far astray! Mary had recently been called to return home from a bad situation, and was set on a right path with the help of her family. So wonderful to have her back in the arms of her family! She was at a place in her path when she was not working or going to school, so she was free to come and help me out in my time of need. Coming to take a part in my life on the farm gave her direction - she left after her 3 months with us looking for her farmer.
Mary found her farmer after she had gone through nurses training and become an LPN and was working in a clinic in Wisconsin. After a blind date set up by a fellow nurse... Mary found her farmer, Gerry Kieckhoeffer! Gerry was a dairy farmer, and on Memorial weekend in 1984 she was married to Gerry. She was pregnant on her wedding day... she was in terrible pain and had gone to some lengths to discover why... chiropractor, taking multiple aspirin - this terrified me for her baby! Audrey was born early and small, but healthy. Finally after discovering that her spleen was enlarged - they discovered that she had 4th stage lymphoma in the center of her body and not in the lymph nodes that might have given her an earlier diagnosis.
Mary began her battle with chemo, she lost her hair and was either filled with super human energy and strength when she was on high doses of prednisone or flat on her couch when she was off of it. She told me that she would gladly live in a wheelchair, if only she could live and watch Audrey grow up and spend her life as a wife and mother with her dairy farmer, Gerry. This was not to be. Mary had developed complications from her treatment and ended up in the U of M Hospital with a hole in her stomach. I left my then 8 month old baby with my sister in law and spent some days with Mary... they would be my last. I was about 4 months pregnant, and had a doctors appointment - no heartbeat was found so I had an ultrasound. On July 3rd, 1986 my doctor called me to tell me that my baby was dead. I called the hospital to tell my parents, at her bedside that my baby was dead and a small piece of me - my little one would be joining Mary in heaven. They shared with me that Mary was in her last moments of life as her blood pressure was dropping. She died that day, and my parents had told her my little one would be joining her.
Mary at 28 years old leaving behind her farmer husband and 20 month old daughter, Audrey. She left behind her parents and 10 siblings, and all were left with the question of "Why, Lord?" This is a mystery, and the answer will only be known when we join her at the end of our time here on earth. I promised Mary that when I sewed for my girls I would sew for Audrey. I was so happy to be able to sew her 1st Communion dress for her. I felt Mary's joy at that time. We also shared weeks in Michigan with Audrey over the years and that kept us close. Pat and Gerry have stayed close through sharing the farm! He remarried about 10 years ago... up until that time he had moved back home and his parents had helped him raise Audrey.
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