"Come after me..." Jesus to Andrew and all of us

Time with 2 of my daughters in KC today!  It is bright and sunny here!  My heart is shining with JOY, too!

We are still finding it quite amazing that our nun daughter, Little Sister Hallel, is here in the U.S. for the year.  She entered 9 years ago, and has been stationed in France and Rome... this year she is here working with the 2 postulants and giving us the gift of family time.

You can tell that they are humoring me... I will take what I get!

I arrived to a hug from my daughter, and the offer for her to bring out Jesus for me to have an hour of adoration in the light filled chapel!  The BEST!

Hallel places Jesus in the wooden monstrance with angelic singing to her spouse giving Him all the love and praise... "You gave yourself for my salvation, my Lord."  Such a profoundly beautiful moment watching my daughter with her Spouse and witnessing the LOVE! 

Joining her in adoring her LOVE!  The icon of Jesus eating his mother's chin out of love for her looking on our intimate moment of our shared love for Jesus!


The tears rolled as I prayed the 4th luminous mystery/the transfiguration for my 4th child - Susan/Little Sister Hallel.  The words of a Benedictan nun filled me with wonder; "You have your nun because of your call."  Yes!  I discerned a call to be a nun and it led me into The Church along with my family - all 13 of us!
http://familysoulstory.blogspot.com/p/the-amazing-story-of-13-becoming.html

Mass for Maximilian on this feast of St Andrew, and just days til Advent begins! 


Jesus telling us to follow after him today filled me with wonder at how my daughter's yes has brought me to the gift of having the life of a contemplative form time to time.  Today was one of those wonderful times basking in his light!

Supported by our family of the Lamb!  Jesus in his Word is carried forth!  LOVE!


Jesus I long to follow where you will lead and it is such a wondrous and mysterious way you lead us... my call is now answered through my daughter's yes!  I am so blessed to see her love and JOY and to have her here with us now in KC!  Jesus, we trust in you.  Bless-bless, Barbara Mary Luke

The little ones are her delight!

We provided lunch including strawberries, ice cream and whipped topping thanks to Bernadette! 

Thanksgiving 2 years ago... this was the first one without Pat's mom.  We are nearing her 1 year anniversary of her death on Dec 11.

Yes!

Gianna Jessen abortion survivor - such an amazing speech for LIFE!

“Every time we celebrate the Eucharist, we participate in the Lord’s supper which gives us a foretaste of the heavenly glory.” — Pope St. John Paul II

Photo: Pontifical High Mass offered by Bishop Athanasius Schneider on August 19, 2015 at Basilica of Our Lady of Sorrows, Queen of Poland, in Licheń, Poland.

Photo credit: Krzysztof Ziętarski

Gianna Jessen singing It is well

Danielle Rose - Small things with great love

"Stars of heaven bless the Lord; Praise and exalt him above all forever." Daniel 3

A precious keepsake for baby Maximilian arrived yesterday!  Thank you friends, Scott and Alix! 


Just as we feel the presence of Max with us... he was here listening to the fun family times after supper.  Music, of course, for dancing from 6 year old, Augustine, to 1 1/2 year old, Josephine, the laughter, wrestling, dancing, talking, smiling, no screens with total sharing of warm close family time supreme.  It just seemed so special to have this reminder of baby Max... "A loved one who has passed away, doesn't go away...they walk beside us every day,unseen, unheard, but always near, still loved, still missed, and very dear!"  came to us and is so true!

Many times John and I have done the office/morning prayer that includes the highest of praise from Daniel 3... "Praise and exalt him above all forever!"  All the earth is included and beyond!  Today the "stars of heaven bless the Lord" rang close to our hearts here as we mourn the loss of a life.


 Nancy was just sharing her sadness and fears of going through that difficult first trimester "when your life is not your own" due to fatigue and being sick, and to face that again soon is hard!  Yes, those childbearing years are so hard, but the life that results from our sacrifice is a gift that gives for our lifetime!  Little Max will keep our eyes on the highest heavenly reward of being with him and Jesus and Mary forever in heaven!

Lots of snuggly hugs... the kids are aware of the loss, too.  Both Berna and Gus have told their teachers at school that there will not be a new baby at Easter.  Life can change in an instant and there is quite a bit of shock and sadness that comes with a loss.


All that surrounds us in this world will bless the Lord!  Our lives and living out the hard and beautiful makes it all a work of art!

Given the time to watercolor with the kids is one of my most favorite grandma things!  Looking at these give me comfort and will be special in my home to recall this powerful time with Nancy and family - Thanksgiving 2017 will be forever held close to our hearts as we remember Maximilian!

A morning project of making beads bracelet and stringing them= lots to get off the floor!


The Gospel today speaks of perseverance in our faith journey no matter the obstacles and hardships we face as we follow down the narrow path after Jesus!  Yes, there will be those if we place Jesus first in our lives. We are not only asked to follow after Jesus, but take up our Cross and follow after him!  That Cross has become the Tree of LIFE and through it we find LIFE/LOVE/LIGHT.  Yes, the LIFE of our Max is now in heaven, and that is sad and hard and we miss him... yet, it keeps our sights set on heaven and meeting him there someday!

Beautiful flowers from friends... we were just talking about placing some with Max on Saturday while we have the special prayer service at his graveside in Marshall.  "See you in heaven" Nancy and the kids put on this...  Yes!

Josephine has the mop to help (?) too!

But a horsey is even better!


Our hearts are full and our time is filled with the needs and joys and ups and downs of the little ones all around us!  The knowledge of being surrounded by family this weekend on the farm and having a place on earth to visit little Max at the Calvary Cemetery in Marshall in the section set apart for infant loss... and a special service/send off for our newest family member... comfort and peace fill our hearts!

A picture of life and sharing family time with a house full of little ones. 


Jesus, no matter what comes to us as we look to the Truth and live it out in our day to day lives... we know that it is according to your plan and that you are in control and we are called to trust in you and to persevere running the race to the finish line!  It calls for us to die to self and allow the Holy Spirit to live in us and to become the hands and feet of Christ!  Jesus, we trust in you.  Amen and Hallelujah

Maximilian has a tiny precious crucifix around his neck... so true of how we are called to embrace the Cross of death of our 20 week old grandson/son/nephew/hoped for new life.  The cross is what brought us our salvation and it is a part of our journey no matter how much we wish it weren't so painful.  It is a reminder that we need to give our all without counting the cost.  Max joined William and Robert (my two 20 week boys) in leaving us sad and early.  Yet, there is comfort knowing that they are no longer called upon to suffer here, and as a dear friend shared, who had also experienced a still born granddaughter..."Jesus being what he first saw when he opened his eyes."  Yes!  Bless-bless, Barbara Mary Luke

Nancy has marveled numerous times about how healing and amazing it is to have Hallel here in KC and able to come and share prayer and comfort with her sister in the hospital!  Coporal works of mercy lived out and a lesson that it is not too early to share our love and concern with those sick in the hospital!  There was also a priest that came and prayed over Maximilian in the hospital this first evening after his birth!  We are so blessed with so much we are given through our amazing Catholic Church... Jesus and His Bride, The Church give us more than we can ever want with each new day and with each new Cross in our journey!

Max will be buried close to the angel in this special section for loss in the Catholic Cemetery in Marshall!  Fr Craig will be with us to lead us in prayers for him and our family. 

Nancy has been known to say this; "if we really believed that it was Jesus on the altar we would be crawling up there on our knees!"  Yes!

The Gospel - Ryan Stevenson

Danielle Rose - True LOVE/the Cross

"Bless the Lord, all the works of the Lord... a person's life is God's work of art." Daniel 3

The 4 with Max the bear and a special sign mom and the 3 youngest decorated for baby brother, Maximilian... see you in Heaven!  Plans are being made for a family burial service in Marshall over the weekend.  

A beautiful bouquet from friends to celebrate the life of Max!

Being away from home causes me to wake during the night and think about all the things that I should be doing at home!  I am needed here, but I know that things are falling through the cracks at home, and those night gremlins that makes all things dark and huge obstacles... morning light brings a calm with it. 

Josephine is getting to know her grandma a lot better!

One of grandma's favorite things to do with the kids...even Josephine... watercolors!


Daniel for the first reading today, and then the familiar Psalm from Daniel 3... "Bless the Lord, all the works of the Lord.."  We are reminded in morning prayer that each of our lives is God's work of art!  To see Nancy and Bill in this hard place with the sudden loss of their little Max... reminds me that those dark/black/hard/hurts in our life offset the beautiful colors and lights are bright and magnificent.  Together it makes for a work of art/masterpiece!\

Berna is a work of art making her own work of art/masterpiece.

! 1/2 year old Jo Jo did her first watercoloring... Fun all around!

My inspiration and delight - days in KC with Nancy and family! 


Lord, we look to you in Spirit and Truth and know that we need look to The Church to guide us down the narrow path with the goal of forever in Heaven with Jesus and Mary.  Jesus, we trust in you.  Amen and Hallelujah

For Maximilian with love!  Loving and caring for the masterpieces we are given, our lives filled with The Way, the Truth and the LIFE/Jesus!  Bless-bless, Barbara Mary Luke

LOVE!

Quiet cuddles all around!

Beautiful sunset at the park with the kids on a 70 degree day in KC!  Seagulls all over the sky!









"We beseech Thee, Master, to be our helper and protector. Save the afflicted among us; have mercy on the lowly; raise up the fallen; appear to the needy; heal the ungodly; restore the wanderers of Thy people; feed the hungry; ransom our prisoners; raise up the sick; comfort the faint-hearted.” — St. Clement of Rome

3 years ago snow and cold! 

"waiting" ... "Her whole livelihood" was the Lord.

Nancy with the 3 kids here at home after Gus is off to kindergarten for the day... made a welcoming poster to Maximilian...see you in heaven.  Josephine had a rosary for the occasion, and so appropriate echoing the words of Nancy in an email she sent last evening..."Needless to say, it was not the Thanksgiving break we had planned. We are heartbroken and tired. Through it all we have been surrounded by prayer and, thanks to the holiday, had the support of family. During the hardest moments of the ordeal I clearly felt the presence of Our Lady and I am confident she is holding my little Max in heaven."


How wonderfully comforting at these difficult times to have our Mother of Heaven and earth to hold us! 

The Cross... Nancy also wrote eloquently from her broken heart...

"Perhaps the hardest part of everything was the waiting. The waiting to hear the heartbeat... The waiting for the baby to come... The waiting to come home to my other babies...

As many of you wonderful ladies already know, the cross is often in the waiting. Waiting is often plagued with uncertainty and fear. It can be so awful. "

So very true!  And Advent on the doorstep in a few days a good reminder of how we are called to "wait" and examine our hearts, minds and souls in preparation for the coming of the Salvation of heaven and earth!

Dominic finding comfort and peace with the big teddy, Max...

Max listens to the story these two sweetly share...


Nancy's sharing continues:

"A few days ago I was eager to jump into Advent. It is a beautiful season, full of rich traditions. But, after the last few days of waiting I will be approaching the season differently. I don't really know what Advent will look like this year in my home, but I trust that Christ will be waiting at the end of it, regardless. That I need not fear this waiting, but only trust.

Although it can be so very hard to trust.

I don't really know what else to say here. Know only that if you also are hurting and waiting, my prayers are with you.

Your sister in Christ,

Nancy"

As I found this in my emails last night along with a special fiend's loving note... I wept tears of deep emotion.  My daughter has had to experience the unexpected loss of baby, who had been loved from the first, and sad at his not being able to join our family here!

Another beautiful day in KC!  Flowers for mom!


Today in the Gospel we find the poor woman, who in giving 2 small coins to the work of the Lord... gave "her whole livelihood." How can she do this?  Only because she gives her all to the Lord, who is all that matters to her in her life. 


How can we keep on being open to life, when we experience these losses?  Why don't we throw up our hands and say that we have suffered enough and the fear we face in future losses make it too much for us to handle?  Because we love all LIFE and must learn to Trust in Jesus to be in control.


Nancy and I shared on the way to church last evening about how I longed to have that 6th child after I had John, "because I would always hear 'you had that boy after 4 girls and then you quit.' I just wanted to have the visible 'no, I didn't' with another child to show the world that I was open to life and not trying to control it myself!  Instead I lost William and Robert at 20 weeks, and then had a 16 week loss that I named Mary.  Sometimes I correct them when they would say that, and other times I would just shrug and not say anything. "

Bernadette in her office,  she just left for preschool for the afternoon!

A family project for Maximilian!


Jesus, how we long to be totally yours and know that you have us in the palm of your hand.  We love all LIFE and trust in you to fill us with all that we need to go forward down the narrow path carrying/dragging our most Cherished Cross and following after you.  Jesus, we trust in you.  Bless-bless, Barbara Mary Luke

3 years ago... so special!  The wall is now gone, there is an 8 foot patio door where the window is, and a fabulous porch out of that.  It now holds a family of 8 and the farm has new life!  LOVE!

Another Thanksgiving feast - my parents at the head of the table with my brother and his family!  LOVE!

Miraculous medal was given us on this day!

"It is good that you can be with Nancy at this time. I know how hard it is to want to take away the pain from a child, yet at the same time trying to sort out the pain within. 

I wanted you to know that I am thinking of you and your family...praying for your broken hearts to be comforted. God's promise is to be close to the broken hearted...I have no doubts He is as close as whisper in your ear. May you feel his love wrapped around you...in this moment and the days and moments ahead."  comforting words from a dear friend!