"In God's hand is the soul of every living thing..." Job 12:10

Walking out into the Kansas City light on Thanksgiving day - Hallel with Josephine in her arms!  It is an other worldly heavenly looking picture that appeals to me after this hard day here. 


Yes, we had a wonderful mass and meal yesterday with Hallel and her Community of the Lamb in the heart of the poor in downtown KC!  And there was lots of preparation and laughter shared in the kitchen as Nancy and Billy worked to prepare our Thanksgiving meal for today. My job and delight after all the good smells and the turkey was taken out of his bath and prepared for the butter rub... was to clean up the kitchen.  Bill and Nancy went to put the kids to bed with books and prayers shared.  Then the startling change and indication that all was not well with the baby at 20 weeks...

Gus learning from the expert on how to make the best turkey ever!


Nancy came down in tears and after talking to her on call service they left to be checked.  It was so providential that we were here and they could go and be at peace knowing that family was here to care for them.  How I have prayed that my daughters would not have to experience the pain of loss that was so much a part of my childbearing years... instead of answering it the way I wanted him to... He allows me to be there with them!

Gus and grandma got to butter the turkey this year, and he awaits our family meal for another day...


We soon heard that there was no heartbeat and that the baby would be induced... Pat, I and the three older kids gathered to pray the rosary together, and many prayers lifted as we let all the family know of Nancy and Bill's sad news.

Once again the rosary has been a life-line for us to cling to!  I am numb with grief and the memories are flooding forth and around me.   I know too much about what Nancy has been facing all day with the labor, delivering her son, Maximilian at 2p, holding him and crying and asking "why Lord?", and that sense of emptiness and loss so deep and powerfully painful! 


Maria reminded me that I was with her in El Paso about 6 years ago when she lost her 3 month pregnancy after Thanksgiving dinner!  I also remember being at my mother's with John being 9 months and I was already 20 weeks with William and that week going in for my 5 month check up and no heartbeat.  Why is Thanksgiving such a time for this?  The thread that passes through our lives is sometimes so hard!

Grandpa brushing the girls' hair this morning. 

Grandpa does a gentle job and they sit very nice for him.


There has been a lot of communication with all the family and prayers to hold us in the arms of Jesus and Mary!  The words from Job from morning prayer really rang like a bell for our new little Maximilian... "In God's hand is the soul of every living thing..."  He lived for 20 weeks and he will always be with us in our hearts!  His life will be cherished and remembered always!

We had this for supper tonight!!  Berna, Josephine and grandma ate an entire box of Mac and Cheese!  Today Ruth and Paul enjoyed a meal on the porch on the day after Thanksgiving!  LOVE! 


Jesus, we rely on you to get us through these hard times!  A life is precious no matter how small and short!  Jesus, we trust in you.  Bless-bless, Barbara Mary Luke and family!

The Little Sisters went to visit Nancy and Bill tonight and give them hugs and shed some tears with them... their prayers are so important to us on this up and down journey of LIFE/LOVE/LIGHT.