Family Soul Story - Choose Life!

The Pat and Barb Verly family and their 5 children, in laws and grandkids along with many prayer warriors have been drawn together by John's cancer... sharing daily for 8 months started this blog- Family Soul Story - Our faith, family, farm and now our cancer journey called HEALING have colored and deepened our world. WE continue to share and depend on the support of our prayer warrior community, that has lowered us into the Lord's presence for His healing!

Saturday, April 25, 2026

John 6 gets REAL/my new floor - tea party time!/Rose is in Washington DC and New York/"Whoever will eat this bread will live forever." -+JMJ+

The flooring in my new room is done! I can now move my Easter tree back! Very excited to enjoy it now with the grands! Tom and Lucy bring grandma some dandelions and a smile!

Waiting for the new free standing woodstove and the white grout to make the rock wall much more beautiful!

Having a tea party with tulips and a pink purse too!

John blessing our tea party with a prayer - always nice to pray together. We start our sessions of working on John's book with a Rosary! Off on the right foot and the right Path!

Easter tree and our tea party - so fun!

Praying is part of our time!

Tom and Lucy are best buddies!

Bubble tub time is a part of their time at grandma's house.

Tom a year ago with my Easter Tree and Neumann.

Tom at 3 in 2025.

I took my icon into Mass yesterday morning and had it blessed after Mass!

Ruth's work at Big Tom's a new Airbnb that she did with Paul. It is opening this weekend!

Fr Danny blessing my icon after Mass - I had just lectored and read the Conversion of St Paul from Acts of the Apostles!

Each day we get deeper and deeper into John 6 , which is the Eucharistic Truth in the entire Bible! How can it be swept under the carpet when Jesus spells it out clearly for us? On Friday we dove deep and there was no question as to his meaning!

The Jews quarreled among themselves, saying,
“How can this man give us his Flesh to eat?”
Jesus said to them,
“Amen, amen, I say to you,
unless you eat the Flesh of the Son of Man and drink his Blood,
you do not have life within you.
Whoever eats my Flesh and drinks my Blood
has eternal life,
and I will raise him on the last day.
For my Flesh is true food,
and my Blood is true drink.
Whoever eats my Flesh and drinks my Blood
remains in me and I in him.
Just as the living Father sent me
and I have life because of the Father,
so also the one who feeds on me will have life because of me.
This is the bread that came down from heaven.
Unlike your ancestors who ate and still died,
whoever eats this bread will live forever.”
These things he said while teaching in the synagogue in Capernaum.

John 6:52-59

"May all who look upon this be richly blessed." Fr Denny.

Diego - a stray cat that has moved in the house. He is super soft and large.

Rose is on a trip with the 7th and 8th grade classes from Holy Redeemer School to Washington DC and New York City! She is sharing pictures with her old grandma - this is The Basilica of the National Shrine where they attended Mass and Rose prayed in front of the shine of Our Lady of Guadalupe.

A precious memory of 13 years ago - they are all now 13, and Rose will be 14 next week on May 1st! Patrick, Rose Again and Bernadette!

In front of the Capital!

I count just about 50!

Rose and her big sister, Mary, about 10 years ago with baby chicks! So many wonderful pictures over the years and memories!

My first asparagus - I have had two meals now!

Hubby leaves it all for me!

Diego thinks that it smells fresh!

The mural with my blue paint and new flooring! Ruth and Paul's art work is my headboard!

St George - it was grandson's, George, Feast day on Thursday the 23rd! How we love our Saints and each grandchild has a special feast day connected with their names!

I had a wonderful father, who brought all 13 into The Catholic Church 55 years ago! Each day since has been a pearl of great price!

https://familysoulstory.blogspot.com/p/the-amazing-story-of-13-becoming.html

My husband is a wonderful father also! Here he is showing 2 year old grandson, Luke, how to hold a day old chick gently. Luke is now 12, so 10 years ago!

https://familysoulstory.blogspot.com/p/my-most-cherished-cross-patrick-gerard.html

My Easter tree putting out lilacs a bit before outside.

Fr Steve blessing the 7th and 8th graders before they leave for their big trip to Washington DC and New York City!

Super out in the field a few days ago - David digging.

It seems that they are called from this world at special times in The Church! Jean Claude with Hallel's Community of the Lamb just died on Easter Sunday!

A beautiful painting of Family in the LIGHT!

Chief Broken wing - Pat 5 years ago after shoulder surgery. He has totally recovered - "I never think about it! I just do everything like normal." So wonderful!

Grands high up in the quad track.

Two year old Jude and George are now 7 years old and in first grade!

Ruth went with the western theme at Big Tom's - a bedroom done.

What a special surprise to find this on the latest Knights of Columbus magazine! So wonderful to see our Minnesota little sister Candace sharing her story of her call to become a little sister of the Lamb! Behind her is the Grotto of Mary the Mother of God in KCK!

About 7 years ago as Joy is now 9 years old and they have added Tom, who is now 4!

It is nice to be getting some gentle rain, but we need much more! The crop is just about in, so the rain is appreciated and prayed for at this point. Jesus, we trust in you. Bless-bless, Barb and the 33 here plus 13 in heaven. I also want to pray for our parents, my sister Mary and Pat's brother Donny! Our dead keep our eyes on striving to get to heaven to be united with them - May I drag my Most Cherished Cross down the narrow path with heaven forever as my goal! May I die to self so that I may serve without counting the cost!

Nothing compares to you - Danielle Rose

Salve Regina - Hail Holy Queen - Dominican

Our Community of the Lamb sings it like this each night! Like angels singing!

Tuesday, April 21, 2026

Mary is 20/Nursing home mass with Tom and Lucy/Planting is in full swing starting with beans!/John 6 - "I am the bread of life..." +JMJ+

A year ago at the U of M - Mary with her show animal. We celebrated her birthday on Sunday surrounded by her big wonderful family.

Blowing out her 20 candles with a big audience on the 3rd Sunday of Easter.

With her Godson, Tommy. When Tom's older brother, Simon, was confirmed 4 years ago - an hour later Simon and Mary became their baby brothers' God parents.

Happy 20th birthday Mary Angela!

Such a lucky little boy to have a sister Godmother!

John's 3 at our Sunday celebratory meal after sharing Jesus in Body, Blood, and Word! All things sweet! We even have added ice cream too!

Ruth's 3 girls!

Easter eggs a year ago! We now have brown eggs, so not near as colorful!

It was a special time yesterday - John brought his youngest, Lucy, and I brought Ruth's youngest, Tom, to the nursing home mass! Lucy wore her pretty Easter dress as it is still Easter! We then visited my friend Marie with their stuffed chicken. Marie used to raise 300 pullets and sell 300 eggs every day!

Tom with his soft chicken at Mass. He and Lucy were so very good at Mass. Still Easter!

Tom with Marie and chicken.

John is here today working on his book about his journey of finding Faith through brain cancer!

His Spirit Juice Video - now he continues with wife and 3 beautiful wonderful children!

Family Soul Story - Choose Life!: John's cancer stories

The Easter Tree is my JOY each year with the Cross and the butterfly for that year. This year Therese was here and made them for me with the highlights of this past year - 2 confirmed, David and Gus, Maria buys her forever home in Shafer, MN. Ruth and Paul do another Airbnb at Big Toms, All our kids in KCK for Hallel's 40th birthday, Major Joseph is deployed for 10 months to Poland, and reunited with his family on Easter...

How we love our watercolors! These will be cherished by me! Thanks, sweet TEA!

Last year a retreat with 2 of the military girls with their Aunt Hallel. Hallel is Therese's Godmother, too! Pat and I and Tom just had a fun conversation with Hallel 2 days after she returned as she was out pulling dandelions in the grass.

The Gospel on Sunday was the Road to Emmaus. The breaking of the bread...

Yes, Mary is at the U of M - in her second year of Ag Communication.

10 year old Mary with her namesake 10 years ago.

Bridal shower for my niece, Ida, with her sister and sister-in-law and a nephew.

our grands that came along.

Nancy with Aunt Joyce and cousin, Steve's wife! Fun to catch up with hubby's side of the family! Hubby even came along!

The inspiration for my new room - sky and clouds!

Ed planting beans first! The beans can take the cold weather that we just had. Corn does not like to sit in cold ground, so they are going into the ground now.

David's truck on the seed tender this year.

David digging ahead of the planter. Farmer Pat says that the conditions are prefect!

Early morning picture of David's truck doing an important job getting the seeds to the planter!

David loves to work with the quad track!

another one just like the other one!

Framed by budding trees!

Tom loves to nap in grandma's bed! Chicken joins him too!

Rose and Gus 12 years ago! Rose is soon 14, and Gus is 15 soon... both May birthdays! LOVE this classic Easter picture of them!

Easter a year ago at Fort Riley, KS!

Regina Maria - Queen Mary with her lit candle at the Easter Vigil last year!

The farm family Easter a year ago!

Easter in Pennsylvania a year ago! Bill is born and raised in Uniontown, PA.

Over to Big Tom's to see cows and calves out enjoying the sun on Sunday. We are close to being done with calving and planting is in full swing. We are happy that the warm weather is here again. 80 degrees today!

Grands about 8 years ago! Joy just turned 9 on March 31st!

My dad in the Vets just a few days before he came to live with me for the last 6 months of his life! He was admitted to hospice the day he came - the same hospice I had worked for 15 years as a nurse. Such a beautiful blessing to share the gift of hospice as well as his vocation of Permanent Deacon here in my "Farm Monastery."

Family Soul Story - Choose Life!: Deacon Robert Cross - my dad on hospice in our Farm Monastery for 6 months - 4/16/20 thru 10/23/20

Dad moved into our bedroom and his bed from when they were first married - he and mom had just celebrated their 70th wedding anniversary! Wow!

Praying on the porch every day at 3P - Rosary and chaplet while dad watched the semis on Hwy 59, and an entire growing season from digging to planting to growing to harvesting!

My dad was a Permanent Deacon in the Catholic Church for 44 years! He brought our entire family of 13 into The Church in 1971! Each day since is a gift to me, and sharing his religious life here for 6 months was a huge blessing!

Family Soul Story - Choose Life!: The amazing story of the 13 becoming Catholic!

Heaven comes down to earth!

Dominic is now 12 and Berna is 13! So many moons ago!

John and I just shared a Rosary while Lucy played! A few days ago Bobbi joined us! How we love to begin with prayer!

Easter in the gathering space.

I am overjoyed to have John 6 being shared at Daily Mass! On Friday we began with John 6:1-15 - the feeding of the 5,000! That is how this amazing Truth of the Eucharist begins with the miracle of the loaves and fishes feeding the 5,000! Followed by Jesus walking on the water to them in the boat, and now with today we are up to John 6:30-35 - the meat and potatoes begin with Jesus telling us that he is our Food!

So Jesus said to them,
“Amen, amen, I say to you,
it was not Moses who gave the bread from heaven;
my Father gives you the true bread from heaven.
For the bread of God is that which comes down from heaven
and gives life to the world.”

So they said to Jesus,
“Sir, give us this bread always.”
Jesus said to them, “I am the bread of life;
whoever comes to me will never hunger,
and whoever believes in me will never thirst.” John 6

This little girl is now one of the three 9 year olds! How we love our groups of grandkids that are growing up together and are best friends!

John's two Easter girls - Birdie Barbara is soon to be 6, and Lucy is 3!

Farm kittens in the office - I am sure that on this warm day they are outside!

First watermelon on Divine Mercy Sunday last week! It was very good!

Tom with his watermelon and smokies!

Most Sundays we share mass with 14 of our family! Our greatest JOY is sharing our Faith as a family!

Rhubarb is up and soon there will be yummy asparagus!

May I die to self so that I may serve without counting the cost!

Palm Sunday a year ago in KCK at our daughter's Lumen Christi/LIGHT of Christ Monastery!

Pat made a wonderful turkey for Open Table a year ago on Palm Sunday!

The Little brothers chapel - The Light of Mary the Mother of God! At the bottom of the big hill from the little sisters Monastery - Lumen Christi!

A year ago we drove to spring time. Hallel reports that the dandelions are thick after a couple months away in France for the passing of Jean Claude.

Crumb crust pies for open table - I love to spoil my nun too!!!

Sweet Lucy comes often with her dad while we work on his book about finding Faith through brain cancer! Jesus, our cup overflows with all the graces and blessings you pour out upon us! How wonderful to share your Eucharist with our friends at the nursing home and to see the smiles the little ones bring to the elderly there. How wonderful for them to learn how to share time with them. Jesus, we trust in you. Amen and Hallelujah

Bless-bless, Barb and the 33 plus 13 in heaven.

"No one will have any other desire in heaven

than what God wills; and the

desire of one will be the desire of all;

and the desire of all and of each one
will also be the desire of God."

St. Anselm, Letter 112

"I adore and venerate You
as much as ever I can, though my

love is so cold, my devotion so poor.

Thank You for the good gift of

this Your holy Body and Blood,

which I desire to receive...that which
You promised through Your truth,

that my joy may be full…"

St Anselm

nee Italy ~ 1033-1109

Archbishop of Canterbury

Benedictine monk, theologian, philosopher

"Father of Scholasticism"

Doctor of the Church

Feast Day - April 21

"O God our God, grant us grace

to desire you with a whole heart, so that

desiring you we may seek and find you;

and so finding you, may love you;

and loving you may hate those sins

which separate us from you,

for the sake of Jesus Christ."- St Anselm

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"From the moment of her fiat, Mary began

to carry all of us in her womb." - St Anselm

Small things with great love - Danielle Rose

Good Tree Hillbilly Thomists

Tauren Wells - Joy in the morning

Salve Regina - Nashville Dominicans - singing it like our little sisters do, who are Dominican

Hail Holy Queen! Sing it at night prayer each night - angels singing!

This was taken on Easter Sunday in Colman, South Dakota about 12 years ago!

My dad had done the unthinkable - said yes to being a Deacon in Colman, South Dakota just 60 minutes from our door to their door of the rectory... they had promised to help out as parish administrator of a small town chuch and to help out in the other cluster churches. It was my parents first contact with living the farm life other than second hand through a visit here and there to our farm. Now they were immersed in farm life and loved it! I loved the fact that for 3 years I could jump in the car and go and hang out with them for an afternoon here and there! It was amazing! Soon their 3 years were at an end and we all gathered for a huge family celebration of Easter... we filled the social hall with our huge family... I am the oldest of 11 with over 30 grandkids! The wind of the Holy Spirit was howling as our family gathered in front of the church doors for a family photo... it made us smile to have the wind roaring at us with the fury that only the prairie can muster!

How I love the pictures of the kids in Big Shoes! Adorable!

What is it about the kids walking around the house in mom or dad's shoes? I think that it is a form of flattery... they like to see mom of dad in those shoes so it makes them feel like they are looking like their beloved parent of just acting big like them! I remember my 3rd daughter, Maria, was so in love with her daddy... she would crawl around the bedroom and drape his socks around her neck that she had picked up off the floor just as a token of her love for him. I have a group of pictures in the bathroom that are just of that theme... Wearing mom and dad's shoes. I think that it is about as cute as can be... and also a wonderful tribiute to a child's love and appreciation for their parnets. I have now seen my 3 grandchildren that live closeby and spent much time with us also put on mostly grandpa's shoes which are usually over by the door and walk around in them... I think that a lot of that reflects that love and appreciaion that they have for him and his loving sharing ways with them. Now a generation later I have watched now grandpa LOVE each one of those kids so specially by showering them with the time by taking them along outside or allowing them to sit in his lap and share his meal when he comes in late for a meal... The same scene that I saw with our 5 kids and the resulting love and appreciation and respect! Who knew wearing his shoes was a sign of love and devotion?!?

The absolutely amazing letter that Susan/Little Sister Hallel sent to Nancy about marriage...

Nancy was engaged to Bill Bandzuch on April 10, 2010... We are all so happy for her as she has waited long for her Catholic man to come into her life. She had stood by her values and as a result it was especially sweet and special when she joyfully accepted Bill's proposal! We all gathered in Maria and Joe's back yard to help them celebrate that afternoon minus her sister in KC... Little Sister Hallel. We called her and she spoke to each one of us and even her neice and nephews ! A month later Nancy found this letter from her sister in the mailbox. It was mother's day and she called me to read it to me over the phone. I was blown away and at first thought how crazy it was that a young girl,who had answered the call to remain chaste and be a little sister had so much insight into marriage! But when I realized that she is now the "bride of Christ" it now makes all the sense in the world! I would like to once again share this powerful and wise letter here... Nancy, Look I am writing you a letter... aren't you impressed? Well, you better be because both you and I know how often this happens. I am writing to tell you now extremely excited I am about your engagement to Bill. I have to admit, when I got the news I wasn't really shocked but that night as it sunk in during adoration and the next day during mass I was so happy. My heart overflowed with joy for you. How beautiful to know that you have found your... most cherished cross. While I have never had the experience of being married, from what I hear is that he will truly be your cross. But not your cross as human eyes look at it, as a thing to run away from, as a thing of torture but rather as that which is truly the tree of life. It is only when clinging to the cross that one can truly live, it is the source of all life and of all love. Your marriage to Bill will be this, not something to run away from when it gets hard and when it hurts, but something to hold tight to, especially when it hurts because it is in this that you will find life and love. Know that it is through your marriage that Jesus wants to show you his great love for you and also that the best example that you can give to the world of Christ's love is a marriage lived in truth. So, in other words, know that I am so happy for you and that I love you a whole lot. Know that you are in my prayers during this crazy time of wedding planning; that you may not go crazy but rather learn to love each other better and that you may both have great joy and great peace. Remember to pray for me too! God Bless, Your little Sister Hallel

Our daughters, Nancy and Little Sister Hallel/Susan, with John in Lourdes, France.

Little Sister Hallel had just taken the habit of the community of the Lamb and changed her name a few days before this taken in August of 2009... John, Nancy and I had gone to help her celebrate this huge step in her life! John had just been diagnosed with brain cancer and had just completed his second chemo and was better, so within 24 hours we decided that we would fly to France! We visited Lourdes and all bathed in the healing waters which miraculously flow from the spring where St Bernedett was told to dig in the mud! John said that the day was "very good" , and for him that is saying a lot! This past winter Pat and I were in a study group of a book written by Matthew Kelly called Rediscovering Catholicism... this paragraph on p48 is amazing and so wonderfully defends the choice of religious life but also the joys and beauty of this life! I quote: "In every age, there is a small number of men and women who are prepared to turn their backs on popular culture and personal gain to embrace heroically the life Jesus outlines in the Gospels. These people fashion Catholicism into a lifestyle, they listen attentively to the voice of God in their lives, and they passionately pursue their personal adventure of salvation. As a result, they capture the attention and fascinate the imaginations of everyone who crosses their path. Paradoxically, the modern world pities these people because it believes they are missing out on something. Never feel sorry for them. These men and women are the happiest people who ever lived. They are the saints. If the Church is to thrive in this modern era, it depends on men and women like these."

Sitting on the front porch of our home in Minneapolis - me and my friend Marge a few years after..

This was taken a few years after we met while attending welcome week at the U of M in 1970! I did not know at the time that Margie would be responsible for the rest of my life - my meeting and a year later marrying her brother, Pat... I have written many cards to her over the years telling her in every way possible that because of her I have my life. We will celebrate our 32 anniversary this summer, so she has been in my life more than not! Thank you Margie Rose/Raterra Rashana for being such a loyal and true friend... there is no doubt that you were put in my life by our loving forgiving Lord ! Your life growing up on the farm in Southwest Mn is now my life and our children's lives are blessed as a result! How I rejoice at the Lord's fingerprint on my life! Jesus I trust in You! Please bless my dear friend now and forever. Amen and Halleluia!

My sister Mary at the baptism of my daughter, Nancy Anna.. She is Godmother and my dad is baptizing

In 1982 my sister, Mary, came to help me while I was on bedrest with my second daughter... I had high blood pressure and was on bedrest, so Mary came to help me around the house with my 2 year old Ruth and help Pat milk the cows. She was a city girl like me, but fell in love with the farm and we loved having her with us! After Nancy was born on April 2 we asked Mary to be her Godmother. We realized after I was on my feet that she needed to move on, so tearfully she went up to live with my folks in TF. She eventually became a doctor's office nurse and on a blind date met her farmer, Gerry.... he was a dairy farmer in Wisconsin. They married and had a daughrer, Audrey.... When Audrey was 20 mo Mary died of Lymphoma... Gerry is now married to Cathy, who had 5 kids and her husband drowned in the river up there...

Snapping beans with the 5 klids as we are in Taylors Falls visiting my parents in the summer of 92

I was in the thick of bean harvest in my garden when I took my kids to spend some days in the summer with my parents... probably late July of 92... WE picked them and brought them along to snap at my parent's house. We have such wonderful memories of our days spent in Taylors Falls at their remodeled cape cod house up on Angel Hill. Now after 14 years of liiving on Lake Michigan in Manistique in the upper penninsula... my parents have bought a home on the St Croix River in St Croix Falls, Wi which is right across the river from Taylors... I am thrilled that now my parents will be close enough for me to go and see them for the day or for a few days much more often! I loved to go to the big lake, but so missed my parents being closer so that I could spend time with them! Thnak you Lord for this move and may they continue to be a wonderful presence in my life for years to come!

Pat's mom took this picture after milking the cows one morning shortly after we were married.

Typical old camera quality - this was after we were done milking the cows with the baby calves... with dairy calves...they are taken off of their mothers at birth so that you and I can drink the milk...they start out on a big bottle and then graduate to pails of milk. That was one of my jobs out there as well as giving each cow some protein to eat while Pat was moving down the line milking them. I also would help undo the headgate when he was done so that they could go out of the barn. Pat of the time I would sit on an upside down pail and watch him milk the cows and sometimes we would visit. I married a farmer and I found these times special to the point that when Ruth was born - I would bring her over and put her strapped in her infant seat close to the heater in the milk house... she was born Jan 4, 1980... Soon my in laws told me to bring her in the house and put her in the bed with them while I helped Pat... Ruthie got to know her grandparents really well and has early memories of waking up and seeing a certain light fixture over their bed and the warm feelings that go with snuggling with her loving grandparents morning after morning! They even took a movie of her first steps dressed in different outfits day after day that we have never seen! Got to do that someday! The early years were special for many!

Pat comes to visit me in the Cities as things slow down a bit on the farm - cross country skiing...

This picture was taken by my younger sister, Mary... she is now gone for 24 years due to cancer at the age of 28! Pat had come to visit me and we decided for him to wear one of my brother's boots and try cross country skiing for the first time! The boots were too small, but when Pat Verly is motivated to do something... nothing will prevent him! Boy, have I learned that to be a huge part of him after almost 32 years of marriage! He also likes to be rough and tumble and caused this fall to get some bodily contact and to tussle with me! Thank goodness for soft snow to fall in! The dating years were long distance and due to the demands of the farm - we dated maybe once every few weeks when he could certainly not every night or even once a week... at the busy times of the year it was even less, but Pat was very good about calling me on the phone and having long conversations about our lives... he gave me many lessons on the farm life in the middle of the nigh... when he would wake me up after he got in from work! I knew that when that phone would ring that it was my farmer! The thing about farming... similar to the Catholic Church... you never learn it all...there is always more to learn and my Patrick is very intelligent and very interested in it all!

I like to call this picture taken at our first Christmas....married 4 months....THE LOOK OF LOVE!

Her name Hallel means Joy- Halleluia.... she reflects that inner joy when she is singing...

Little Sister Hallel has shared that when others say her name they are praising God with the highest of praise and Joy! There are many Hallel psalms including the last 5 psalms - 145 thru 150 and the grand Hallels are in the center of the psalms. the word means tall in French also and Hallel being much taller than most...this is humorous to the community! As a mother I am happy for her choice to be with the community of the lamb to see her happiness and joy... her face lights up in a way that cannot be anything but genuine happiness!

Finally I leave the nest!

I loved being with my family so much that finally after I had become an nurse - 4 years of college and lived at home... got a job at Hennipen County Medical center on the Neurolgoy station... and just went along day to day at home with my family including 10 yonger siblings... One day my mom asked me if I had ever thought of getting my own place... Oh, I tought... that is maybe something I should think about. I then rented a third floor of a house just a block from my parents' home. It was great! Close to my beloved family...yet my own place!

John with Bertha at the State Fair a few years back

Bertha took reserve champion with her calf in the cow-calf division a couple times for John at the State Fair... You can always count on Bertha! 4 H was a wonderful thing for our kids... It was the one time that they learned about livestock on a day to day basis with their dad. They also learned a lot of life skills including how to present themselves in front of people... this has developed into John's future wishes for a life profession... Ag and presenting himself to large groups of people however that all comes together... Lord hear our prayer for a long and bright future for John with you always number one in his life!

Two 5 month losses - both boys born after John - buried at the cemetary

William and John would have been very close in age - about 14 months... I went in for my 5 month check up and the heartbeat couldn't be found... an ultrasound revealed that he had died... I had some scary miscahrriages, so the thought of carrying him til I "lost" him was terrifying to me. I went through a 5 month abortion procedure to deliver my son. I had a postagladin suppository inserted and went through a horrible experience with pain and chills to deliver our tiny son,William. I held him wrapped in a blanket, and Pat and I shed tears at what could have been. It was winter and the ground was frozen...we took him home in a small box and put it in the freezer.. So hard to open it and face him and have the memories and tears come flooding me again. About two years later the same thing unexplainably happened... We lost Robert the same time and way... "It looks like his cord is fatally kinked." It was earth shattering to face another loss of a son and brother for John here on this earth... WE know that we have these children to be united with someday! These and the other 4 lost along the jounrney of our "nest". I feel that they were both the best and the worst years of my life! How I prayed that the Lord would give me one more child after John so that the world would see visible truth that "no, we were't just trying for our boy and that is why we ended up with 5 children! We were open to family!" Yet I am flooded with peace and even joy to know that all our children are with us whether here on earth and in heaven! I have named each of my children in heaven... Christopher lost between Ruth and Nancy, Thomas lost when my sister Mary died of Lymphoma in 1986, Joseph lost before John, William and Robert lost at 5 mo after John, and Mary lost at 3 1/2 mo in 1994. The prayer for them of their mother is a powerful experience for me as I remember them daily and many times feel that they are up there keeping me on the straight and narrow as much as possible. All I know is that I must need a lot of help to have that small spiritual army in heaven....

John and his 4 sisters.... When asked the family he wants someday... "I want 4 girls and a boy!'

Our 9 precious grandchildren, with another one on the way

I got a call today from daughter number 3 that I needed to update my grandchildren picture - the number had doubled since... So here are the 9 together with Hallel when she visited in April. Ruth has 4 with another on the way - Simon age 8, Mary age 7, David soon to be 5, and Rose 13 months. Nancy has Augustine 2, and Bernadette 7 months. Maria has 3 children... Therese 5, David 3, and Patrick 8 months! So this is almost a complete picture except for Maria's two losses due to miscarriage, who are in heaven. We love all life we have been blessed with here and in heaven, and pray for each daily. Guardian Angels watch out for them. Jesus, we Trust in YOU.

An interesting fact about the cows and calves in the pastures... Cow trails...

These two pairs are demostrating how they all walk in the same path or trail...If you look on the other side of the hill above them you can see a cow trail that they use on that side of the pasture. When you go out and walk in the pasture... you will see these paths that are very much used to the point that they are deep and there is no grass growing in them just like a well used people trail gets to be. On a very steep hill there can be teraces of many cow trails along the side where they will go single file like these two moms with their calves following along behind... I did see some of the calves get tired of the slow pace and run ahead, but it is obvious, when you see the trails,that the cows use them for the most part to get from one place in the pasture to another. How my husband loves to see them out there in the lush grass getting fat off of the grass that grows where no crops can due to the up and down land or the creeks that run through them and are also important for the cows and calves to get the water they need just like every living creature! My husband's idea of a romantic evening is to go out on the 4 wheeler or the pickup to look at the cows and calves in the 6 different pastures that we have! The kids have fond memories of going out to look at the cows in the back of the pickup - great vacation/family time!

It doesn't get much cuter than this - Ruth Ida Rose with a forever remembered baby kitty...

The Net team stops by as they come to the end of their year of serving Catholic Youth!

Our nephew, Sam Cross, has taken a year out of his life to work on the National Evagelical Team - they are Catholic Youth in their late teens and early 20s that travel the country in a van giving retreats to youth everywhere! Their homebase in St Paul, but they have traveled from coast to coast this last year and they themselves are from many places in the country and even a girl from Netherlands! In the picture Sam is standing all the way to the left by John. He lived with us a summer and learned about the farm and was in 4 H and FFA here. He showed cattle and pigs at the county fair and then went up to the State Fair with his projects and then worked in the Miracle of Birth barn for a couple of summers. Sam is a special nephew! He also has done many TEC retreats after he said yes to our request that he make a retreat and absolutely fell in love with TEC! Now he has taken it a step further in serving on this traveling retreat team with his guitar and wonderful joyful spirit... touching many youth along with the 10 youth that are on the team with him. Just before this picture was taken... Sam had given them rides back and forth on the loader to "see" the cows and farm scenes... Sitting to the far right of the tractor in the loader bucket is a girl from Minnesota named, Sarah. We struck up a conversation in the kitchen while I was cleaning up after the meal that we had shared... She started the conversation by asking me if I had always lived in Mn... I thought that I would wow her by starting off by saying; "No, actually I was born in Boston, Mass!" Her reply; "So was I!" That was a start of the most amazing give and take between us! We share so much in common and mostly I thought that she was probably me about 40 years ago when I was a new Catholic and so in love with EVERYTHING about the Catholic Church! She shared that her family of 4 girls and one boy and both of her parents converted from Episcopal to Catholic and why would you belong anywhere but the True Church!? ! Wow! I was blown away to meet someone on this long journey I have been on that is at the same place I was at that age! All of these youth are so amazing and I hope and pray and am really confident that they have touched deeply and positively many youth on their trek across the country! I asked the girl from Netherlands about the Catholic Church in her country... I have heard that it barely exists any more and she agreed that only the old attend church and otherwise those that are Catholic like her go with their families at EAster and Christmas... her friend told her that she would do the NET as she had done ahead of her and now a young person is returning to this country without God... filled with love and knowledge of her Church - Jesus and His Mother - It was a wonderful hour and a half and gave me so much hope for the Church and how the grassroots are strong and spreading our faith far and wide! Thank you Lord for all the work that is taking place in your church and please continue to use me and all those that are listening to and answering your call! Amen and Halleluia!

John the actor and his love of the stage and being in front of people - It was a fun ride!

This was John doing the "She thinks my tractor is attractive" skit for Arts In at the county fair in 4H a few years back... It is just so fun to see him in his element and it always amazed us to see how relaxed he was up there. Not like any of the rest of us! Now he hopes to take that love of the stage and put it along with his Ag background into some type of a job for his future... It will certainly be interesting to follow along and now with a year overcoming brain cancer and all that has meant for him... it has certainly taken him to a deeper and more compassionate place... We all await what the future will bring... Thank you John for all the FUN we have had following you as you share the joy with us on stage! It has been a fun ride! Jesus we know that you are in control of John's life and have a wonderful plan just for him! Jesus we trust in You!

Oh happy day! Another fun time with John...

First with a talent show at the Catholic School doing...Oh happy day from Sister Act and then again for 4 H share the fun... Finally with chior robes that we found at the Thrift store and with his sister, Maria, and cousins, Sam and Phil Cross... we enjoy the fun at Christmas camp. John even put it on for Easter when we went to visit Maria in the monastery. We shared a meal through the enclosure and John did the entertainment for all of us by putting on a chior robe and lip sincing.... Oh happy day for all of us... it was great entertainment that was good over and over!

He who follows me will not walk in darkness but will have the light of life. Jn 8:12

I came across this inside of a long letter that our daughter, Maria, had written daily to share her experience with us as she went from a Poor Clare Monastery in Sauk Rapids, Mn to one close to Washington DC... It was so hard to think that she could go so far away to a cloistered monastery... where we would have to go and see her there and never get a hug as she would be in the "enclosure". It was to the point of her entering and the mother superior asked her to write a letter saying that this was the right thing for her to do... she couldn't write it and was back home! We were shocked and amazed! After saying goodbye to her life... she returned and embraced it! I will never forget her out helping put the cows and calves out to pasture and saying how wonderful it was to be out there... Now that was a miracle! So often on this journey we have been weak, depressed, scared and lost... The image of Jesus picking up the weak lost lamb is so often coming to me... This is wonderful to be able to share here with all of you that are upholding us in prayer!

A miracle! We make it to France in the midst of John's brain cancer and after a brain biopsy!

One of my favorite pictures from France...Susan helping John walk through the rain down a path at Saint-Pierre. They have always had a close relationship... Susan was 3 1/2 years older than John... I lost two pregnancies between them and it was never kept from the kids... we all grieved together at the losses. Susan was thrilled with her little brother from day one. She was constantly caring for him and watching out for him. We have a family story that Susan saved John's life... I will save that for a later date to share. John discovered in France that he could walk at a normal speed leaving his walker behind and having someone under his weak side. I think that he enjoyed the closeness also. We were in France and it was totally due to prayer!

The way of the cross - Cancer strikes our 20 year old son!

John at Lourdes with his two sisters... LS Hallel in the habit she had just received as a new member of the community of the Lamb and Nancy. From the back as they support their brother it looks like he is on the cross. After the news about two months earlier that he had brain cancer and then the ataxia on his left side as a result of the biopsy they had to do to diagnose it... It certainly a cross like no other we could have ever imagined! Beyond our wildest nightmares! Just the day before we left for France he was able to get to the bathroom by himself for the first time! We could go to France to see his sister join the community, and go to Lourdes and bath in the miraculous and healing waters under the watchful care of our most Blessed Virgin Mother of God... Mary Most Holy! John truly turned from a heavy heart to one of hope at this point in the journey.

Little Sister Hallel here for Thanksgiving and spent a week with John.

A group shot over at Ruth and Paul's place... Little Sister Hallel - Susan here for a week. Took John back and forth to radiation, and we then had a family Thanksgiving up in the Cities with her other two sisters that live in ST Paul... Getting ready to head back to Kansas City. That is where she is living for the next year in the only community here in the US... Community of the Lamb... pictured are from left to right... Paul Lanoue, Ruth Lanoue, Little Sister Hallel, her dad Pat and John Verly. In front Mary with her kitty Purrrrrrs.