Overcoming fear and sadness with Mary,Our Spiritual Mother.... finding inner peace that pours onto all areas of our lives!

Spending almost two weeks with my granddaughter, Mary... I am thrilled to use her as my inspiration as I write to you on this special day devoted to the Blessed Virgin Mary... as every Saturday is!  I am especially moved and touched today by the sharing in the meditation of the day by Caryll Houselander - (1954) who was a British mystic, poet, and spiritual teacher..."Do you find help from the rosary?  I find just holding on to it., even, helps.  Of course, some would say that it is mere superstition, but it isn't if it symbolizes holding onto God, as it does for me.  I have been visiting a girl once a week for a doctor; the girl was a baffling nerve case.  She used to have about 3 attacks a day resembling Saint Vitus' dance, and followed by palpitations so violent a nature that the doctors marveled that her heart could stand up to it.... She had been previously two years in the hospital and had seen every specialist, but no one could diagnose her case and she just went on getting worse.  She had no religion, and her only reaction to God - a very vague idea to her - was fear and aversion.""I gave her a rosary and told her to try to say something with it in her hand - her own prayer - or say nothing, but mean to hold on to God.  From the hour she took the rosary into her hand she has been better, and is now almost cured.... Her mind has flowered too, literally changed from a narrow self obsessed mind to a big, objective, clever and loving one."  Caryll HouselanderHow I loved this when I read it with my husband and son this morning and even they were impressed by the sharing, and when I enthusiastically exclaimed about how I LOVE the rosary and how I have one in my hand and pocket constantly they looked at each other and nodded.  And when I said to my son..."I LOVE the rosary so much!"  He said to me with some sarcasm in his voice; "Really mom?"  And that lauched me into telling him about how when I travel and I start to say the rosary..."I am so happy and excited to have that time to say my rosary... I never feel like it is a chore to get out of the way!"I love the way Caryll describes it as "holding onto God"... I never had one out of my hand for the entire time we were in our crisis with John!  It was my lifeline!  And every day as we headed out of our home away from home for those weeks of stem cell... we would start with a decade of the rosary... many times the crown of thorns... as that so much spoke to us of the brain cancer we were facing suddenly with our 20 year old son!Caryll also writes; "It certainly seems that prayer is the only help for our troubles - that and taking each trial seperately, trying not to look miles ahead with the overwhelming picture of years of succeeding crises to weigh you down.  Prayer does bring such amazing answers that it is reasonable to hope that every seperate crisis may be the last: and happiness may come very suddenly, when you least expect it...."Today in the Gospel in Matthew 10:24-33... a reminder of Jesus to "hold onto God through prayer"... "Are not two sparrows sold for a small coin? Yet not one of them falls to the ground without your Father's knowledge.  Even all the hairs of your head are counted.  So do not be afraid; you are worth more than many sparrows."People speak to me of being deeply sad... why is that so?  Deeply we are yearning for our God and we want to hold onto him!  Our Lady helps us to do that as she models our saying "yes" to the call of the Lord to enter us, and then to enter the world around us!May this prayer from morning prayer be our words to our God; "O God, by the fruitful virginity of Blessed Mary, you have given to the human race the reward of eternal life.  Grant, we beseech you, that through the intercession of the mother of the Author of Life, the Church may become the mother of all children who take their place before your throne to sing your praises for all  eternity, through Jesus Christ, your Son, our Lord, who lives and reigns with you, one God for ever and ever.  Amen"  (see http://www.magnificat.com/ )All sadness is gone!  The supreme picture of that praise before the throne and the "lamb" is in Revelations... (Rev 5:13)  "To the one who sits upon the throne and the the Lamb be blessing and honor, glory and might, forever and ever."  I know that Scott Hahn struggled with Revelations and it led him to convert to the Catholic Church... as he sat in the back of church and observed the mass and saw that this was when heaven came down to earth at the consecration... all heaven in rejoicing and worshiping the lamb of God that was sacrificed for you and I! All the joy, love and lasting happiness and peace can be ours if we turn to Him and his wonderful Mother holding him out to us!  We must walk away from the concern for self, and look outwards to those around us... they are Christ in our midst, and we are called to see his face in each and every person in our world!  Those looking nose to nose with us... the closest are the hardest to see that in... we must hold onto God... I would say with the rosary... along with Caryll... and gain the strength to humbly walk with God!Little Sister Benedict once told me that in their order they do not do psychological testing to "weed out" those unstable people..."we have discovered that living our life tends to be healing for people."  Yes, the model of humility and poverty and obedience to the "call" is so powerful for us to see!  We are forever changed to know them and to have our wonderful daughter, Hallel, a member of their amazing family!"She is led to the king with her maiden companions.

They are escorted amid gladness and joy;

they pass within the palace of the king.

Sons shall be yours in place of your fathers:

you will make them princes over all the earth,

May this song make your name for ever remembered.

May the peoples praise you from age to age." (Psalm 45: 11-18)

Why waste a minute being "sad"?  Let go of your worries and your resentments and your self examinations... Look outside of yourself and see that our Lord has his nailscarred hands reaching out to you with only love and forgiveness for you!  That deep sadness/depression is holding you...as if bound by ropes... allow love to cut them loose and be free to run and leap and praise the Lord!  "Hold onto God" through the Rosary of the Blessed Virgin Mary!Dear Loving and forgiving Lord... Allow us to leave all sadness behind.... to find You and to hold onto you for dear life through all the "storms" that toss us about.  We must not be afraid, and must trust and turn to you...you ask us not to look back but to put the hand to the plow and move forward with You!  Give us the strength... along with the deep joy and happiness that comes with you and your cross!  Jesus we trust in You!  Amen and Halleluia!  Bless-bless, Barb

Update on Hallel going to France

We called Kansas City today and found out about Hallel getting to France...This was our last view of her as we parted on the morning of July 1st after the 4th load of Verlys had been there to say our goodbyes and to experience her life!Little Sister Benedict informed us that they drove to Chicago on the following day and took Halllel to the airport on the 3rd - they discovered that there was no standby - so she got to ride in "business class" to France!  I think that means that she went first class... I have only looked through the curtains at the room and luxury of first class!We all smile thinking of Hallel in her blue habit sitting in first class surrounded by luxury on her way to France... the special stewardisses offering her food and beverage.... they always pack their own lunch that they unwrap and eat on the journey...   It just makes us smile to think of it and the fact that she got right to France and arrived on the 3rd of July!  I had wondered how it went and hoped and prayed that it hadn't been long or drawn out for her to get there.  Now after being there for almost a week... I wonder if she is busy at her woodworking?  She has discovered that she enjoys that a lot and had us making icons in the basement while we were there.In parting... I thought that you would enjoy a cute little girl with her kitten picture...  It just is great to know that while our family was gathered for vacation in glorious Michigan... that Hallel was with her family in France!  The thought of her alone and traveling on uncertain flights made me wonder and pray often.  Thank you dear Jesus for taking care of your loving spouce - Little Sister Hallel /Susan Angela Agnes Verly!  Jesus we trust in you!  Bless-bless, Barb

"Thoroughly wash me from my guilt and of my sin cleanse me." Ps51

I continue to hear the waves in my ears... although the last day there the inland sea was as still as glass and a delight to one and all as we sat on a sandbar in the warmed waters with all the kids and little grandkids!  As one man said that has lived there for his entire life... "You had better enjoy this day as they are few and far between!"  And enjoy we did... I find myself just taking it all into my heart and soul... storing it there to come back to again and again and with shout of praise remember the wonder of His Creation!My garden, my two jobs and my house and family are all pulling at me today... what a gift to be away with all my precious kids and grandkids and to just be carefree... these words certainly ring true in leaving the stress behind!  "Wash me, and I shall be whiter than snow."Ps51Walking on "beautiful beach" with the family... little Davey's footprints were a delight!  We all are here in this world to leave our special "footprints" in the world - we are gifted with our own special talents and experiences to come together to make us His!All but Hallel, who this day arrived in France...  Just after mass and heading out to the Lighthouse and being splashed by the waves!  Each one of us a part of the Family, yet different and special...  We are a mesh of differences that we forgive and understand and appreciate!  From the Gospel today; "Do not worry about what you are to speak or what you are to say."  Mt 10:16-23" I have put up with this Church, in the hope that one day it will become better, just as it is constrained to put up with me in the hope that one day I will become better."  Erasmus to Martin Luther when he criticized him for staying with the Catholic Church."Once you have wept with the Church, once you have humbled yourself at its feet, God can command you as he has done in the past to raise your voice against the 'wounds of the Church.'  But not before."  Fr Rainero Cantalmessa is the preacher of the papal household."Still the table stands prepared,

Lonely till we cease to roam.

Fools!  Why do we linger here?

Let us go: love waits at home." 

From the openning hymn for morning prayer - see http://www.magnificat.com/ Yes, Lord... love truly waits at home... first of all in your wonderful Church...the faith and joy we share in the Wisdom of your Church fills us with the patience and love we need in our families!We are cleansed and filled with peace and joy!We delight in the gifts and talents you give to us and ask that you use us to your honor and glory in our domestic church - our family and in the world!As a mother loves her child - so we love our families and ask that we can nurture them aided with the Holy Spirit -"For it will not be you who speak but the Spirit of your Father speaking through you." Mt 10As we watch the little ones love so freely... may we "be like little children."  Jesus hear our prayer and thank you for the gift of life!May we hold the times of closeness in our hearts to get us through the times of challange and turmoil as life pulls at us in many directions! 

"Give me back the joy of your salvation,

and a willing spirit sustain in me.

O Lord, open my lips,

and my mouth shall proclaim your praise."  Ps 51

Jesus we love you and need you and I am now distracted by life... so I will leave you and may the Spirit guide and keep you always with Him!  Amen and Halleluia!  Bless-bless, Barb

From inland sea to the sea of beautiful soybean and corn fields!

The temperature has risen about 20 degrees as we watched the thermometer in the van gradually rise as we got further away from the lake.... The fields have flourished and grown noticeably in the last few weeks...  It is a sight to see the wide expance of green as we have been feasting our eyes on the huge turquoise lake out our front picture windows of the cabin... I was struck shortly after I married my farmer and moved to the prairie... coming down the hill towards Marshall at night... I was struck with a familiar sight... the lights of Marshall down below spread out along the horizon.  Why was that so familiar to me?  It reminded me of the lights of Traverse City down the bay from our cabin in the lower penninsula of Lake Michigan... Yes, I grew up spending the summers on Lake Michigan and now I am blessed with a week there in the summer with my family. Thanks mom and dad.  I will write more in the morning... now to bed... Jesus we trust in You!  Bless-bless, Barb

"The wounds that bleed are still alive....by touching our wound, proves our tissues are full of life..." Elizabeth Leseur

"...and will one day experience complete healing through continual interior action."  When I  read this quote from Elizabeth Leseur...my daughter, Ruth, who is a wound nurse... totally agreed with this statement...But spiritually it makes powerful sense...

We are bathed in His Blood and by His wounds we are healed!  Today doing morning prayer with the whole family in the great room of our cabin on the Inland sea - Lake Michigan.... little Simon Lanoue, age 5 was smiling from ear to ear as his name was mentioned twice in the Gospel for today!These pictures of John in January as we were undergoing his stem cell... remind us of the wound that we have suffered in the last year as we face cancer as a family!  It "bled" profusely and others were bathed in the blood of such a horrific wound and prayed with us on bended knee from dawn to dusk and beyond... It reminds me of the miraculous "week of prayer" that happened in the midst of it all.... 168 hours of prayer without a break and most hours there were 4 or more praying .... thats a lot of prayer! The scan towards the end of it was showing the cancer gone....shrunk down to next to nothing! It was surprising to me that John wanted to share the one actual wound that he had - his port!  I am off to the beach... will share more later.  Jesus I trust in you!  Bless-bless, BarbWhile in Rochester two grandkids came to visit us including new baby David... on our week here our 5 grandchildren have made this week the delight that it has been.  How wonderful to see their delight as they play in the giant sandbox and amazing swimming pool with soft sand in the bottom.  They are in love with this beautiful inland sea!From the cross we are given his body and blood to eat and be fed... it is a delight to come into his presence and contemplate his gift to us!  From the psalm for the day being shared with the world in the mass...."Seek always the face of the Lord." Psalm 105:4Our Lady stands at the foot of the cross and like the mother that we all are... takes it all into her heart!We honor and adore you. O Mother most Holy ... show us how to humbly love and accept the wounds in our lives!
A young mother that I noticed in Rochester church with her 5 girls... so many happy wonderful memories of my nest years...  this was the anniversary of Wade/Roe...

Jesus, we love you and are forever grateful for all your generous gifts and how you heal our wounds that make us know that we are alive!  Jesus we trust in you!  Amen and Halleluia!  Bless-bless, Barb

"The earth with its store of wonders untold....and round it then cast, like a mantle, the sea." Morning hymn

"O worship the King, all glorious above,
Ogratefully sing his power and his love;
Our Shield, and Defender, the Ancient of Days,
Pavilioned in splendor, and girded with praise."   The openning stanza of the hymn.... see http://www.magnificat.com/

My sister was talking to our neighbor here and he pointed out that Lake Michigan is truly an inland sea!  It is so different here from the small lakes that give Minnesota the name 10,000 lakes... I guess that is why our family that grew up in Flint, Mich and spent the summers on the inland sea - Lake Michigan... travel a day to come here for our week and then also on the other end to go home...  with the sugar sand and the clear water and with the winds the big waves... you can start to believe that you are in the Carribean.  One very amazing thought that truly shows the magnifince of nature and the sea... is the thought that... "for all the wonders of technology, we are no moe able to make the sea do our bidding than the people that lived in the time of the Bible....God is God."

We are having a couple rainy days here and so I was able to finish a book that my Son in law brought and shared with me....It is called Left to Tell by Imaculee from Ruwanda...  She survived the most bloody holocost of one tribe by another...by living n a bathroom for 3 months with 6 other women...  She lost all of her family but a brother, who was studying out of the country...  She walked out of that small room having lost half of her body weight... with the clothes she had worn in there and never changed....never showered for that time and found that all her possessions including her family home and dorm room were totally destroyed!  She was informed by others of the horrific deaths and degradation that her mother and one of her brothers has suffered... she even was able to find and bury their bodies properly.  She eventually went to a prison to meet the man - a friend and neighbor - who had been the main one, who killed her family with horrible brutality... She looks into his eyes and tells him that she forgives him....  The jailer asks her why she would do that..."Because that is all I have to give."  Wow!  That is so very powerful to me!

One thing that totally thrilled me about this young girl was the red and white plastic rosary that her father had given her and the way that holding that and praying for hours each day transformed her in the midst of this "hell" that her country had become!  She clung to her Catholic faith and not only that but after healing for a few years.... she prayed for a Catholic husband and found him!  I would highly encourage one and all to read this special book.  It is very eye openning to know the inside story of thsoe hard times!

"Lord God of earth and sea, yours is the dry land and yours the water.  Have mercy on us who so easily forget that we are not gods but God's creatures and beloved children.  We worship you in humility as he source of all life.  Receive our prayers with loving kindness thruogh Jesus Christ our Lord.   Amen and Halleluia!' Bless-bless, Barb  St Maria Goretti pray for us!