Pat loves kids!

Sharing a bowl of tomato soup on a cold winter day... Life could not be better for grandpa... how he loves to have a small one on his lap and always has been that way!  On the farm there is no way of knowing when the job at hand will allow you to join the family for a meal... usually coming in late... Pat would have kids "helping" him eat his food... His big lap seems to just be made for little ones to sit and share food with him!

He was so excited to have our house full with Maria home with her two kids here... while their dad is joining the ... Grandpa was so looking forward to having them here to enjoy and "spoil."  Davey has already found that when grandpa is in for meals that he can sit in his lap and discover the world of food from the perspective of that big wonderful Grandpa!  Tonight he had his whole hand in grandpa's applesauce... Grandpa didn't get mad... he laughed and let Davey put his whole hand in that big mouth to get cleaned off! Now that is special!

You never know where one of the "house kittens"that granpa got for the kids will pop up... He had never had pets in the house growing up on the farm, and our girls would have some that they could bring in for some time now and then... but to start a long winter with 2 house kittens... that just shows how much grandpa is willing to spoil the kids!  I have one right now that is either playing with the cords of the computer or sitting on my shoulder purring... if this seems a bit distracted... now you understand.

Lord, thank you for a man, who has always loved kids and been open to life!  "The world needs lights."  He said to me when we decided that openness to children/life was what we wanted within our family!  It was a tall order, but one that we embraced whole heartedly and continue to!  Thank you Lord, for all the times we are allowed to grow in love as our family becomes more and more full of those wonderful new lives... devoted to You!  Jesus, we trust in you!  Amen and Halleluia! 

Bless-bless, Barb... I will be working overnight at the nursing home, so will be sharing later tomorrow.

"The people who walked in darkness have seen a great light; Upon those who dwelt in the land of gloom a light has shone.  You have brought them abundant joy and great rejoicing.  As they rejoice before you as at the harvest, as people make merry when dividing the spoils.  For a child is born to us, a son is given us; upon his shoulder dominion rests.  They name him Wonder-Counselor, God-Hero, Father-Forever, Prince of Peace.  His dominion is vast and forever peaceful, from David's throne, and over his kingdom, which he confirms and sustains by judgement and justice, both now and forever." Isaiah 9: 1-2, 5-6

"He comes as someone gentle, someone humble." St Ambrose

We are rejoicing today as we faced the "dragon-cancer" and once again defeated him!  Praise God!  When our doctor walked in the room beaming... all our fears evaported into thin air!  She lifted John's stocking hat had asked about his hair situation... "Not much." was his responce... then they both put the blame on the Radiation doctor with smiles and kidding and JOY!  How small is the loss of his hair in the scheme of life... He has his life back from the brink of death!  WE are filled with gratitude and peace!

Sitting on the 17th floor... calling family to share the Good News!   John was gone to get his flu shot down the hall... I laid back in the chair by the huge amazing windows and looked out on the beautiful and familiar view....

So many times in the last year and a half... would I stand at these windows filled with such wide ranges of feelings!  Last winter looking down day and after day at the Christmas scenes as John and I prepared for stem cell... Our last step and final hope along with all the prayers... that is where we found the strength and the healing!

I held onto Pat's large warm hand and I looked up at the beautiful white clouds in the vivid blue sky... such peace flowed over me... My precious son is free on cancer once again!  I can find it easier to Trust that He continues to be with John and have a bright and wonderful future ahead for him!  The clouds of fear and doubt had been there just a short time ago, but now we have another good visit... we had so many hard times that we find it hard not to be worried!

John and Pat are amazed at a piece of artwork in a case as we come off the elevator... Life has taken on a new and wonderful sheen and we are in awe of the gift of a new a healthy life!  Our son is healed!  Just as the two blind men are healed today after Christ asks them; "Do you believe that I can do this?"  "Yes, Lord," they said to him."  Mt 9:27-31..."Then he touched their eyes and said,'Let it be done for you according to your faith.'"  I am not saying that our faith is so great... but it sure helps to have so many praying for John every day!  So many share that they continue to pray for him and have not given up on that... we continue to need, depend and trust in all the prayers continuing to get us through!

Life is a beautiful amazing gem that we adore and marvel at!  Life is especially marvelous when the verdict is a good one!  "Your brain is clear of cancer!"  Things around us take on a new and amazing LIGHT!  Watching the clouds drift overhead while holding on to the huge loving hand of my husband... we both let the last year and a half drift over us and remembered how many times the Lord has held us in the palm of His hand, and answered our tearful and pleading prayers for healing and saving of our precious son!  So many times I have cried loud and agonizingly as I beseeched the Lord to save me from this nightmare... "I want to wake up from this bad dream!"  I have finally started to come into the LIGHT of day!

"Out of the gloom and darkness, the eyes of the blind shall see.  The lowly will ever find joy in the Lord, and the poor rejoice in the Holy One."  Isaiah 29: 17-24 The first reading in mass today!    "The Lord is my light and my salvation; whom shall I fear?  The Lord is my life's refuge; of whom shall I be afraid?"  No one!  Nothing!  Not even cancer of the brain!  You, Lord, are in control and we are filled with Light, Life and Peace which passes understanding!  The world has taken on a fresh newness of Life!

From a distance it is without color... but as you get closer... it takes on an amazing myriades of glittering gemlike colors... we linger and are amazed... our joy abounds! 

We wanted to celebrate the joy and good news! On the way to return John to his fraternity we called our daughter and husband that live up there and arranged to go to a crazy busy restaurant to laugh, eat, allow kids to lick the salt and pepper shakers and all the things you do with a 11 month old and 2 1/2 year old... the lysol spray and the windex were brought out after we left there!  But we whooped together with JOY!  Life is a gift for us every 3 months with a clear scan!  Jesus,  we cling to you with Trust!

Life is so good and so amazing... this is truly a little slice of heaven!  Family is where we find our strength and our hope and our peace and Joy when we are freed from sin and death and find new life! 

Little Therese loves her "Nana" ... they lived together for the whole last year and that was our island of peace and light in the midst of the stormy sea...  Now Nancy is married and to have a child of her own!  We rejoice with them and know that our "gentle humble" Lord in the form of a tiny helpless infant is close to our hearts at this advent time of year!  He reminds us of the Gift of LIFE, and we can only be in awe as He continues to bring life and light into the world for us to nuture and share the beauty and wisdom of His Church with within our domestic churches - our families!

The snow is falling on our beautiful white world... it held off so that we could travel our 9 hours on the road over the last few days...tonight I have to travel to my nursing home to work the night shift... It looks to be a winter of allowing more time and 4 wheel drive vehicles to get us safely where we need to be.

It is nice when we are all snuggled in the house with the wood stove going and the kitties and grandkids to entertain us...  But there are places that we need to be... I did go to mass with my daughter, and two little ones this morning... a wonderful start to a day filled with the knowledge and love of Him!

Life is always a new adventure to discover for the little ones... but we are always growing and learning to trust with all that comes to us in life...           Jesus, we are forever thankful and as I loudly proclaimed at mass today at the petitions... "In Thanksgiving for the continued gift of Healing!" How it fills us with wonder at the beauty of the world around us and creation... the Love of family, and you, Dear Lord,  and our Church, and all those that are lovingly supporting us in prayer... we cannot be more filled with joy and happiness and deep heartfelt gratitude! May we not loose sight and become blind to this Light and new life we have been gifted with!  We fall on our knees and contemplate you as a tiny child in the manger! You are total gentleness and humility for us to follow and to realize; "The Lord Jesus took compassion on us in order that he might call us to himself and not scare us away."  St Ambrose... Jesus, we trust in you!  Amen and Halleluia!

Bless-bless, Barb

"A precious time has begun for us... The season of Advent has a holiness and sweetness all its own.  It is the time toward which the prophets and saints of the ancient covenant during 4 thousand years sighed with incomparable ardor, crying out to God: 'O that thou wouldst rend the heavens and come down!' (Is 64: 1) to deliver those that sit in darkness and in the shadow of death.  All the happenings, all the symbols of the Old Testament, had the one end of setting the grandeur of him who was to come, and who now has come.  Let us,then, thank God and always praise him, that he has created us at this time and under this law of grace, that he has willed to give us his gifts and his riches in such abundance, if we will only take them.... We must, therefore, consider carefully how we have fallen and how we can rise again out of our sins and vices to our first innocence."  Fr John Tauler,OP

"Trust in the Lord forever!" Isaiah 26: 1-6

These are pictures that I took a few days ago as the "winter storm" was moving the 5 inches of snow around... on the south side of our house it is always so nice out of the wind... grandpa was clearing the driveway so that our "neighbors"... Ruth and the kids... could come for a tea party with Therese.

All the pretty colors and  the white snow backdrop... Add to that rosey cheeks from the cold wind, and it is a dream of photography for a grandma.   We are all at Mayo and John is to go back and have his MRI in a matter of minutes... the IV is in and he is soon to be called back to lay still in the big metal tube and listen to the pinging of the huge magnetic pull... He is asked even if he has a metal heart valve or anything metal that you could imagine in his body somewhere...  thankfully at his young age... he has no metal knee of hip like his mother...

After a short night's sleep at Nancy and Bill's house, we drove to pick up John at his fraternity and then drive to Rochester... Maria, her two kids, Pat, John and I... we were reminded as we got on the highway that a year ago this was the 2nd day of our week of prayer!  How that fills us with peace and comfort to know that we were so lifted up a year ago and continue to be today!  It seemed that all our fears melted away as we shared the beauty of Morning prayers...

Today morning prayer talked about a "walled city" of old and how it protected the city of "evil marauders."  "The heavenly city, the new Jerusalem, will protect all God's people from the most dreaded of marauders, evil and death.  As we await that promised dwelling place, we know that we are encircled  always by God's saving love in Jesus Christ."  See http://www.magnificat.com/

I always love to read about Trust!  Today's first reading from the mass for today is a wonderful one from Isaiah!  It speaks of a 'strong city"... with walls and ramparts to protect us..."A nation of firm purpose you keep in peace; in peace, for its trust in you."  Isaiah 26  How we are called to trust over and over with this journey called cancer/healing with our 21 year old son, John!  Today those dark thoughts start to creep and all we can do is fall on our knees and beg the Lord to hold us close and to fill us with HOPE!

The Gospel was exciting for us to share... Mt 7: 21, 24-27... Maria had read it ahead and told us with excited terms that it is the "House built on the rock!"    "Everyone who listens to these words of mine and acts on them will be like a wise man who built his house on a rock.  The rain fell, the floods came, and the winds blew and buffeted the house.  But it did not collapse; it had been set solidly on the rock."  We have done that... so no storm will make us fall!  Jesus, we trust in you! 

"Trust in the Lord forever!  For the Lord ia an eternal Rock."  Isaiah 26   How we love and need to be reminded of this fact! Today with the unknown being investigated with a scan that can see within the body due to modern technology... We will at 3:15p meet with the doctor and get the news of what it will reveal... we hope and pray that the cancer will continue to be gone... yet, we fear and doubt and every little memory lapse or headache makes us worry! 

"All those who listen to Christ's words become rock-solid in their life.  Because his Word is life.  The Lord himself is an eternal Rock.  When we trust him, that is, when we are attentive and obedient to his Word as opposed to our own ideas, feelings, and preoccupations, we are given the "firm purpose" we crave that keeps us in peace."  preface to mass in The Magnificat

Last night while teaching religion - our 9th graders are starting the Bible Timeline Bible study... it was very good as we began with Genesis... there is so much wonderful stuff there for us to learn about ourselves as male and female and the covenant/sacrament of marriage... but what really blew me away was the looking into what God was teaching us after "The Fall."  "He was showing us that part of love is suffering."  That was such a powerful and deep thought and basically saying in simple terms... what we find in the cross in our lives! 

We all have many crosses as we go through the years of our marriages and our families... we certainly need to embrace the fact that loves means suffering and pain! Without that the joy would be dull and boring and not nearly as wonderful as it is after the suffering!  John's cancer has certainly taught us this lesson over and over... there is mental pain and suffering as our son is once again in the MRI tube... we struggle to find the ROCK on which we can cling, and find Trust to withstand the wind and buffeting of the STORM! 

Another way of looking at the suffering to ourselves is what is called the "sacrifices" in our lives... this is addressed in the Meditation of the Day today by Monsignor Luigi Guissani              "When a mother gives birth to a baby, it's the beginning of a history of sacrifices; when a boy marries a girl, it's the beginning of a history of sacrifices....The greatest sacrifice is to recognize a Presence; this is something, the thing "from the other world."  All of a person's experience summed up in the point of sacrifice, or everything falls apart." 

The 4 wheeler and sled got it's first use...

There are those beautiful apple rosey cheeks...  Time to go in the house for some of grandma's homemade tomato soup! 

"One more time around the house mommy!  Then we are going to go in for some tomato soup with our tea party!  That will warm us up!  We like winter in Minnesota!"

Well, I have been holding up the only computer here by the MRI machine...  time to pray and go and say my rosary!     Jesus, we are so grateful that you taught the beauty of your Cross!  How much it enrcihes our lives, and gives us the reminder time and again that we need you, and that you are always there with love for us!  Your nail scarred hands reaching out to us with love, and embracing us, and lifting us up when we are low or down, and carrying us forward.  We find peace and hope there as we trust in You being in control!  Jesus, we trust in you with every moment of every day!  Amen and Halleluia!

Bless-bless, Barb and family... as we are here to support and love John!

"There is no Holy One like the Lord; there is no  Rock like our God."  I Samuel 2:2

We Trust in you, Jesus... May John's cancer never return!

Therese helped grandma put lights in the front bushes... It will be a warm welcome tomorrow night as we return from Rochester in the dark to the lights to greet us!

It was so pretty as we literally threw the lights in the bushes and since it was already after the sun had set... they were a pretty sight immediately!  They are a symbol of hope for us as we return for what will happen every 3 months for the next years... John remembers that they told him that they will continue checking him longer than most because his cancer is so fast growing... a question for the doctor tomorrow.

Mom and Davey looking at our work from the inside...  We will just leave them plugged in to welcome us with the beauty of home and the good news of no cancer once again!  Jesus, hear our prayers! 

Jesus, we need you... we feel weak and worried as we face another long day of having John in the MRI machine and then the wait to face the doctor.  Jesus, we trust in you!  You are in control and you loved us with your life!  Amen and Halleluia! 

Bless-bless, Barb

"Instead, there shall always be rejoicing and happiness in what I create... No longer shall the sound of weeping be heard there, or the sound of crying."  Isaiah 65: 18-19

The week of prayer revisited...

Maria had ordered a lot of cheap prints and we were going through them this morning at breakfast... She had shared how Joe would have special time with little baby David this summer and fall..."sitting in the glider every day and he would say his rosary while David held onto his rosary."  There were pictures recording this wonderful bonding and instructing time, so  I asked to scan them and share them today... it expanded to others that are a special tribute to this wonderful young dad, who is now starting a carreer as an in the army, and is separated from his family for months.  We now have his wife and two wonderful children with us, while he is away...  It is a blessing and we are all happily settled in for a winter on the farm!  Every day as we shared morning and evening prayers as well as meal prayers... little Therese prays for her dad and little David chimes in "DaDa"... Lord, we trust that you are with Joseph and protecting him and keeping him from being too lonely... Maria prays for this intention when she prays for her husband..."That he isn't too lonely."

Today is a landmark day for us as we revisit the amazing week of prayer that friends and supporters organized last year for our son, John.  We had just discovered the devastating news that John's cancer had come back and we were in the midst of doing the dreaded full brain radiation!  There was a calendar set up on line for people to sign up for an hour of prayer for John's healing.  It touched us deeply to see the hours fill  whether it was 2a or 2p... there were many times numerous people that filled in the slots! All 168 hours were covered and we were so deeply moved to hear from so many about how they had encountered the true power of prayer in their varied experiences...

Such a wonderful example he is setting for his son!  When I watched my grandson, David Lanoue, we would have time after lunch with our shared rosary... Grandma would speak the hail Mary's out loud and little baby David would be peaceful and relaxed... Our Lady brings peace and healing to us and our families!          The week of prayer was one of those parts of the last year that we were truly blessed with and the scan that happened just at the end of it was a true testament of the Lord's answering all the heartfelt prayers from so many... The cancer was almost totally gone and the next scan a few weeks after the radiation revealed... CR - Christ Rules/Complete Responce!  I can see in John the reality that he is healed due to the prayers and for him there is no doubt of this!  He prays long and hard and genuinely and earnestly when we gather together for morning and evening prayer!  It was wonderful to have the time together in our hotel rooms or the car over the last days of travel to Pennsylvania and back... we with ease and joy shared our morning and evning prayers and the Gospel!  See http://www.magnificat.com/

My hand  yearns to have the rosary beads in it throughout the day... and it appears to be natural and peaceful for little David too!  How it has been there for me and continues to be!  Our Lady was the main source for my strength, faith and trust over the last year and a half... She is a mother, who watched her son suffer and yearned for the world to know and understand that he was God... I can't say that we share that last part, but to not understand the suffering of my 20 year old son... struck down in his prime by brain cancer... yes, she was right there with me!  She was my lifeline and strength! 

Joseph and his kids sharing a creative moment!  Now they have a movie of daddy to watch and to remember that his prayers and thoughts and love are with them!  We just watched him playing legos with them as we had our Krusties pancakes for breakfast!  They will not forget their dad nor his love for them!

This is the amazing perpetual adoration chapel that is close to the home of Joseph's parents... Joe's mom is one of the 3 ladies that takes two weeks to be on call and in charge of making sure that there is someone there at all times... It has been going 24hours a day for 20 years!  Joe's dad made some of the wood and rock work that is part of this amazing chapel!  How blessed is this family and this community to have such a powerful source of prayer power!  Jesus, we come to you on our knees to worship and adore you!  This photo of Maria and David was taken for a celebration of the 20 year anniversary... I thought that 168 hours of prayer was amazing... it would be in the hundreds of thousands of hours of prayer to add up 20 years at 24 hours a day...  I just googled it... 175,316.255 hours... Now that is prayer power!  And people that truly know and believe in where we go to be with Christ - He is there with us in the presence of His Eucharistic self!  Now that is going to be with God while here on this earth!

Such an amazing Gospel today!  Matt 15: 29-37!  I would highly suggest reading it!  It is when Jesus is on the mountain and they bring all the sick and suffering to him to be healed and HE does it!  Then He is filled with compassion for them...."My heart is moved with pity for the crowd, for they have been with me now for three days and have nothing to eat.  I do not want to send them away hungry, for fear they may collapse on the way."  I love it when our Lord speaks in His Word!  And this is so Eucharistic!  He does feed us so that we may not collapse in our struggles in life!  How Maria is longing to get out in the mornings for daily mass with her two little ones... even though it is at 7a here!  She yearns to receive his everlasting food of life every day! 

I have a feeling that I will be rising early on a more regular basis to join her on this pursuit of holiness and prayer!  Her little ones are not left with grandma... they are taken along to share in the banquet of LIFE!  Maria's prayer space she has made in her room is a place where little Therese with comfort and ease fell to her knees and folded her hands... very familiar with prayer.... Her little voice is raised in petitions along with us adults at morning and evening prayers around the advent wreath!  So special for a grandmother to see the next generation embracing and comfortable with their faith within the family... the domestic Church we are all called to cultivate and encourage within our families and form them into that slice of heaven here on earth!  Little Davey with his rosary and sweet Therese with her petitions for daddy and Uncle Johnnie... fill a grandma with much joy and humility.... it makes me feel very small to know that God is at work in such unworthy people like myself... I am unworthy,Lord, to unfasten the straps of your sandles...

Jesus and Mother Mary, The sun is shining on a gorgeous white world outside... your world is displayed in all of its splendor!  WE see you all around us in the small innocent lives of our grandchidren, the wisdom and love of their parents, the all encompassing Truth of Your amazing Catholic Church... it all reflects YOU!  The prayer in all its forms is the LOVE that flows between you and us!  May we fill our lives with it.... every beat of our hearts and every breath that we take... WE are yours body, soul, mind and spirit!  Jesus, we trust in you!  Use us!  We are yours!  Amen and Halleluia! 

Bless-bless, Barb

"Great crowds came to him, having with them the lame, the blind, the deformed, the mute, and many others. They placed them at his feet, and he cured them.  The crowds were amazed when they saw the mute speaking, the deformed made whole, the lame walking, and the blind able to see, and they glorified God.."  Mt 15: 29-37

Please join us in prayer for John as he returns to Rochester tomorrow for his 3 month scan!  Jesus, we trust in you!