Monday, January 7, 2013

Down on myself lately... good thing?

I am in the midst of preparing for a retreat, in which I will be assisting the priest as his assistant and giving a talk called the Paschal Mystery.  I find myself seeing my weaknesses, and really (when I am alone in a car or whatever) berating myself for being such a bad person/nurse/wife/mother - on and on!  I feel bad!!!  Yet, is this not what the Lord is asking of us - give up ourselves, and allow HIM to enter in and work in our lives?  Yes, I also find myself making excuses for my behavior, and one part of me hopes that I get called out on the carpet, and another part of me hopes that what I see as a major wrong is just my imagination, and not truly that bad!  It is generally a down place for me, and I am putting it all in the Lord's hands and trusting!  I truly do want to give my LIFE to HIM, and be HIS alone.  But it really is a small weak mess that I am giving to HIM, and He takes that little weak lost sheep and puts it on His shoulders as a prize possession!  Jesus, you blow me away!
"Jesus went around all of Galilee, teaching in their synagogues, proclaiming the Gospel of the Kingdom, and curing every disease and illness among the people.  His fame spread to all of Syria, and they brought to him all who were sick with various diseases and racked with pain, those who were possessed , lunatics and paralytics, and he cured them.  And great crowds... followed HIM."  Matt 4 The Gospel for today. 
 Lord, we can take heart when we get down with our little mess of a life - that is when we turn to YOU, and you heal us, and minister to us.  Jesus, we need you!  Jesus, we are nothing without YOU!  We want to turn away from all the ways that we try to take over our lives, and become our own gods.  We truly do want what YOU want for us - knowing that this is the Way, the Truth and the LIFE!  Jesus, we trust in you.  Amen and Halleluia

Bless-bless, Barb
"We have seen his glory, the glory of an only Son coming from the Father, filled with grace and truth."  John 1:14
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PO_YUOAA1HU  Small Things with Great LOVE by Danielle Rose.  "When I am weak you will give me all I need.  You haven't called me to be successful - You have called me to be faithful!  I can do small things with great LOVE!"
John is back at seminary!!  So blessed to have him here with us over Christmas/baptism/morning and evening prayer/meals/help outside/familytime/sacrament and prayer time/LIFE and LOVE!  Our constant thoughts and prayers are with you, our son, John! 
This article is a delightful insight into John's conversion/healing/call to discern the priesthood -
A great mission going on in Marshall tonight and for the two following - see you all at Holy Redeemer at 6:30p!!! 

Sunday, January 6, 2013

Two years ago... Maria and kids with us

Kids in a cupboard!!! 

Loving and sweet! 

The two Davids and grandpa!!!

The two two year olds and grandpa - David and Therese!
Then 5 grandkids - now 9, with two in Heaven!

Sunny new baby calf in the barn and fresh bedding!  So soft!

Lots of stories and daddy movies,so that they don't forget their daddy while away.  They still did that while he was in Afghanistan!
Mary and Herbie sunbathing in the front window.  That was a white winter too!

Dancing to Danielle Rose in the kitchen! 
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NaGSMb7wF4k  In the Silence of the Heart by Danielle Rose is what they danced to, and it makes me cry!

Lord, bless John and continue to lead him down the narrow Path carrying his Most Cherished Cross...  Thank you, for the blessing of having him home on this 3rd anniversary of his healing.  Jesus, we trust in you.  Amen and Halleluia

Bless-bless, Barb
"Jesus, I trust in you."  St Faustina


Saturday, January 5, 2013

Our little yellow house - 3 years ago

Three years ago in January we headed to Rochester to live for about 5 weeks!  We rented a little yellow house just a block from St Mary's hospital.  John and I, his mother/nurse snuggled in with snow all around us and a few storms while we lived there.  It was quiet and a nice place for family to come and spend time with John when they could...
Comfortable, homey, and winter sunlight bathed him as, once again, he was called a "rock star" in how well he sailed through his transplant! 

Daily mass and hours of prayer in the Eucharistic chapel in St John the Baptist Catholic Church!  I watched a older woman come in after mass each day and caress the armless body of Christ with such LOVE and closeness... it brought tears to my eyes!

Like Mary - I yearned to take the Cross from the shoulders of my son, but John had to carry his Cross to LIFE and healing after death to self!

Visitors - Nancy and Maria with 1 1/2 year old,Therese, and month old David! 

Therese with her new brother - now that is LOVE! 

The Church gave us Jesus in Word and Sacrament to heal John and answer his prayer for FAITH!  There is a wonderful article in this month, Prairie Catholic- the diocesan newspaper for the New Ulm Diocese 
http://dnu.org/news/documents/JAN.2013MASTERISSUE.pdf  This is John's story of cancer/healing/seminary!  Jesus, we fall at your feet and thank and praise you now and forever for our friends lowered us into your presence and you reached out and healed John - "Your sins are forgiven you.  Rise, take up your mat and walk!"

Soon it will be both John's newlife birth with his stem cell transplant - Jan 27th - he will be 3.  Then he will be 24 on Feb 3rd a week later!  It finds him just finishing his first semester of seminary... for his story you may go to  - http://dnu.org/news/documents/JAN.2013MASTERISSUE.pdf

The beauty and power of PRAYER

Can you imagine the greatness there is in praying with thousands and probably millions at one time?  For priests and many religious in convents and monasteries as well as the diocesan priests and deacons this is the case.  Every morning and evening they share in this united prayer of the office!  Last evening I had the JOY of sharing evening prayer with Fr Craig and John around the Christmas wreath.  How powerful and beautiful it is to sing the hymn, and share the three psalms, and continue in prayer the great celebration of Christmas - it was the 10th day of Christmas!  So many men and women sharing the Word and petitions to Our God!  Pat and I have adopted the morning and evening prayer from the Magnificat together, as it is less complicated.  We just need to pray together to make our marriage more Christ filled, and this is a way that we have found to do it!  see www.magnificat.com
Lord, it is so special to have two men join in prayer at the end of their time visiting and sharing about the call and seminary.  Thank you, for the beauty of sharing your Words and the prayer from the heart which the psalms are for us.  May more and more of your people come to pray united in the office.  Jesus, continue to guide and direct John according to Your Plan for him.  May many more young people answer with a YES! when they feel that you are calling them to consider priesthood or religious LIFE.  Jesus, we trust in you.  Amen and Halleluia
Bless-bless, Barb
"It is more blessed to give than to receive."  Acts 20:35

Some are called to marriage and some to be the Bride of Christ or the Priest of Christ!  Just follow that Path and you will find your way into the LIGHT.  Jesus, we trust in you.

Friday, January 4, 2013

Family Birthday!!!

Once again 4 generations gathered around the eating island on our farm for a birthday meal.  The time passes from one generation to the next.  It used to be our little ones around the table and now they belong to our daughter, Ruth!  We are happy with the constant circle of LIFE and LOVE!  Jesus, we trust in you.  Bless-bless, Barb
Evening prayer with Fr Criag by the Christmas wreath and the woodstove - St Elizabeth Ann Seaton, pray for us.  Bless Ruth Ida Rose on her birthday and give her much health and happiness in 2013! 


"The path of the just is like shining LIGHT..." Prov 4:18

"Happy Birthday, MOM!!!" 
Ruth, my oldest child, is having her birthday today!  I am sure that there was a lot of excitement in the house before the older two headed off to school.  I got pretty emotional/tears when we prayed together this morning.  To have Ruth so close by and sharing with great JOY the life she grew up with, and continues to have in many ways with her family!  That truly gives me so much happiness!  I was looking at some old photo albums this morning and John was seeing many of the pictures for the first time.  He was asking about the small old house that we were living in when we had our first 4 girls... we moved here the year before I had John.  "Were we poor then?"  I shared with him that most all we had went back into the farm, but from when I had Ruth on I did not work outside the home for 14 years.  "We lived simply and that was a good thing!"  We both agreed that it is good to live a simple and uncomplicated life.  All the things and stuff and distractions are ways of taking our eyes off our Lord!  We didn't even have a TV for the first few years!  Our little house holds many wonderful memories of our nest years.  For the most it was wonderful, yet the sadness of LOSS was very much a part of my childbearing years.  The Cross entered in and through it we found a deep love and appreciation one for the other!

Filled with so much JOY and feeling that this was a sacred moment - the birth of my first child!  I could never prevent life and always yearned to be pregnant with the next.  I was a bit unhinged when it came to LIFE!  My Ruthie was a total delight - she slept all night the first week home!  Your first one is so special - in my little farmhouse in the middle of winter - I learned all the specialness of caring for an loving a beautiful little girl.  I could see with "the eyes of my heart" that this is the most special gift we could ever be given.  I found contentment and happiness that was so deep and profound!  How have the lies of Satan come into the world to make people take this as something that can be destroyed if it is inconvenient, or even prevented for selfish reasons?  I was almost greedy for as much of these gifts as I could have... I now have 11, 5 with me and 6 in heaven.  The lost ones were times of tremendous grief and sadness as a family, it made us appreciate one another so much more! 

LOVE!!!! 
I thought that this verse from morning prayer spoke of Ruth and her seeking the Lord's path in her life:  "The path of the just is like shining light, that grows in brilliance till perfect day."  Proverbs 4:18 
This not only describes all of us that are on the narrow path carrying Our Most Cherished Cross, but it is a prayer for all of us this day and forward!
Jesus, we long to love and serve you in all that we do.  Today's examples of St Elizabeth Ann Seaton and Ruth Ida Lanoue... two women, who look to YOU and your plan for their lives, no matter how hard or how much work.  YOU are our goal in LIFE, O Lord.  Jesus, we trust in you.  Amen and Halleluia

Ruth with her firstborn son, Simon, 8 years ago!  She too loves life, and she too has had a cross to bear - ruptured uterus/trusting in HIM for each new baby.  We turn to HIM, and Trust!