Family Soul Story - Choose Life!

The Pat and Barb Verly family and their 5 children, in laws and grandkids along with many prayer warriors have been drawn together by John's cancer... sharing daily for 8 months started this blog- Family Soul Story - Our faith, family, farm and now our cancer journey called HEALING have colored and deepened our world. WE continue to share and depend on the support of our prayer warrior community, that has lowered us into the Lord's presence for His healing!

Thursday, April 3, 2014

Wrestling with the mysteries of LIFE/LOVE/LIGHT

5 month old Luke was so sweetly content and happy to be laying across the big arms of grandpa while he helped Simon with his religion homework last night. Before them was Ruth's TEC Bible and Simon had a list of verses to look up and discover the answer to questions on his sheet. It was an eye opener to grandpa to discover how much of the Bible stories Simon knows as they went from Samson to Jesus. Luke seemed to find great JOY and peace in the sharing...

Pat noticed that when he would talk loudly to some of the kids in the next room that it would scare Luke and make him jump, so then Simon tried to scare Luke to no avail!

It is different to put this cute giggle fest here, but it just seems right to start on a light foot this day. Little Luke adores his big brother and feels no fear at his in fun attempts to make him jump with fright!

There is much filling me this day after sharing morning prayer with Pat as we look at the daunting winter storm that is to hit us today. I am also in the last days of prep for working a TEC retreat this weekend about an hour away. I am excited to be working with John and cooking with a great friend from our Church. It will be a weekend unto it's own, as they all are. I know that I am a poor servant in many ways, so to be the Cook in the midst of this Lent is, I am sure, a gift from Jesus to me! What started out as dread has grown to become an excitement to know that a work is going to be done in me! Thank you, Lord!

As I was getting Luke ready for bed last night - we watch Ruth and Paul's 5 so that they can teach the youth! We taught for years and were told that we were boring, so we realized they need to see a vibrant young couple, who would be too busy to teach with 5 under 9 at home, but they even got to watch Ruth grow in her pregnancy #5, have Luke, and bring him along for a month or so...such a beautiful LIFE lesson... this is what we do for Faith Formation, and it is perfect for the kids there to learn about the beauty of The Church! As I was getting Luke ready for bed - he kept looking up at his special Cross that lights up on his changing table. Looking to the Cross and the LIGHT all in one! I have no doubt that, just as his older brother Simon is familiar with the Bible and the Mass and comfortable in Church each week with his family, so too Luke will know and LOVE Jesus and His Bride, The Church! Each of our 10 grandchildren is a delight to us, and the two in the womb are beloved and prayed for daily... We have such JOY and Peace knowing that we are united in our family of Faith raising each one to know and LOVE Jesus and find the Truth in The Holy Catholic Church!

A beautiful Ruth and Luke moment... The mother and child is the most beautiful sight ever! The precious gift of LIFE and given the ability to carry that new life in our wombs to grow and develop under the loving and watchful eye of our God - now that it the most amazing special wonderful part of being a woman/wife/mother! I wanted each one the Lord would give me, and it added up to 12 but I needed 7 in heaven to pray for me, and the precious 5 here to share Faith/Family/Farm with! The Lord's ways are mysterious and merciful and total LOVE! I have only peace after the pain of loss - knowing that someday I will be united with ALL my children, and that isn't a soap opera!

Two sisters trying to get some tramp time in this less than springlike weather.

I have a dear young friend who has started a blog - sharing The Truth - http://choosingtruth.weebly.com/ There is something she shared yesterday that I have a lot to reflect on and decided to do it here. Her feeling, and I have definitely shared this, that we are too quick to console people by saying that their loved one is "in a better place" or "they are in heaven." I, personally, after years of working for hospice, have seen much of the pain suffered as death comes near. Many asked me how I could work with death all those years, but it was my calling! Even as a nurse in HCMC as a young girl in her 20s just out of nursing school, I was drawn to share very closely with a man and his family through the dying process. They were Moslem. He was a wonderful man, and a man of faith, and his family embraced me and allowed me to come and take part in the last months of his life outside the hospital where I had met and cared for him. I even was given a copy of the Koran and spent time reading it... I discovered, just as has been shared by Matthew Kelly and others, Mohamed never claimed to be God... only Jesus did. I was a new Catholic and very deeply in love with The Church and head over heels enamored with the Truth that Jesus and His Bride, The Church is THE TRUTH, yet we did not look down upon each other or try to change one another.

I have shared numerous times over the years that the beauty of working with death is that it takes all the meaningless fluff out of the way - it gets down to Faith and Family, and I love that. I am a person, who is not afraid to share deeply and meaningfully with others. Superficial bores and saddens me. There is much satisfaction in helping one facing death deal with the things that truly matter - their physical needs, mental needs, and spiritual needs! Much of our life flashes before our eyes as death draws near - in a way a long slow illness like cancer is a blessing in allowing us to get our house in order!

Babies - kids and kitties

Personally I agree with my friend that I am taking very seriously my path to Heaven as I follow Christ carrying my Most Cherished Cross and going down the narrow path. I do not hide this fact from all I love in my extended family and friends, along with the fact that this is seriously important for our life eternal. Yet, I also adore Jesus and am drawn to come weekly to adoration and place each one of those the Lord has given me in the monstrance with HIM - praying without ceasing that they may come to know and LOVE Him and leave all the false gods behind them. How can I not hope and pray for them even after death? That is the beauty of Purgatory and being called to pray for our dearly beloved dead. I have taken the chaplet of Divine Mercy and pray it for my dead as well as all those that are dying and have no one to pray for them. I did too read St Faustina's diary, and gained from that the endless LOVE and Mercy of our unconditionally loving and forgiving Lord. I feel that it is my calling to lift up and pray for my dead, as I agree they were far from perfection when they died. I find a freedom in not judging as I know of the infinite mercy of God... I just know that I find comfort and HOPE in praying without ceasing in the silence I can find in my inner sanctuary/chapel. I find great terror filling me and sadness when people say that they know the mind of God and this group of people or that group of people or this person or that person is not in heaven. We all know that God is mysterious, so how are we to say those words of judgment? I see that just saying the pat response - "Be comforted in your loved one being with Jesus in Heaven." rather "I am praying for your loved one and for your family at this difficult time." So powerful to say those words and mean it! To fall on our knees filled with HOPE that Jesus presented himself to them at death and they loved and recognized him - much as St Paul blinded on the road after all this time spent persecuting HIM!

Lord Jesus, today in the Gospel you remind us that we need to come to Jesus to have LIFE! (John 5:31-47) How we weep for all those we love that turn their backs on You as you reach out to them with open arms filled with LOVE and unconditional forgiveness! True Happiness is there to fill their lives and their domestic Church/family if only they leave their selfish desires behind and allow YOU to fill them and use them - giving without counting the cost. The Truth will set them free to recognize the lies of Satan and of this world... Jesus, we see the daily minute by minute job we have to pray without ceasing - with every breath that we take and every beat of our hearts - "Jesus, Jesus, Jesus and Mary save souls!" This is what my daughter Maria told me to repeat over and over after praying the family litany and placing each one in the monstrance with Jesus. "Maria, there are so many needs, what should I do?" "Mom, repeat these words - 'Jesus and Mary, I love you, save souls.'" I truly find HOPE and Peace and Trust in saying these words with all my heart, O Lord. My feeble prayers are what I have to give without counting the cost! Then the motto of the Community of the Lamb - "Wounded, I will not cease to LOVE." The Lamb has shown us how we are called to die to self and give our all! May I do that for those closest to me in my domestic Church/family, those that we treat the worst. For all our dead in purgatory as they continue to look towards heaven - forever is a long time! Jesus, we trust in YOU. Amen and Hallelujah

"There are so many religions and each one has its different ways of following God. I follow Christ:
Jesus is my God,
Jesus is my Spouse,
Jesus is my Life,
Jesus is my only Love,
Jesus is my All in All;
Jesus is my Everything Blessed Teresa of Calcutta

Johnny has his heart set on this black kitten growing to be his new pet/friend.

Bless-bless, Barbara Luke

"You and I, we are the Church, no? We have to share with our people. Suffering today is because people are hoarding, not giving, not sharing.
Jesus made it very clear. Whatever you do to the least of my brethren, you do it to me.
Give a glass of water, you give it to me. Receive a little
child, you receive me." Blessed Teresa of Calcutta

She models for us how we are called to LOVE all and carry HOPE in our hearts that Jesus is at work!

Come to Jesus Chris Rice

Casting Crowns - If we are the Body

Just went to Maria's blog and now have tears of JOY in my eyes at this sight! The kids just discovered that their baby in the womb at 15 weeks is the size of a lemon or an apple! Look at the JOY and recognition of the miracle of LIFE! And please join me in prayers for Maria and her baby - keep them safe, O Lord! Amen

I have found the paradox, that if you love until it hurts, there can be no more hurt, only more love.

Mother Teresa

I have found the paradox, that if you love until it hurts, there can be no more hurt, only more love.

Mother Teresa

I have found the paradox, that if you love until it hurts, there can be no more hurt, only more love.

Mother Teresa

I have found the paradox, that if you love until it hurts, there can be no more hurt, only more love.

Mother Teresa

I have found the paradox, that if you love until it hurts, there can be no more hurt, only more love.

Mother Teresa

Wednesday, April 2, 2014

Rose and the baby kitties

A conglomeration of kids baby kitties and momma cat, Cookie, coming to the rescue! Luke seems to be enthralled by the meows of the baby kitty and momma there to save her from the clutches of Rose! There was high drama the first day they were born... Rose grabbed the two orange kittens - one in each hand and her siblings came when they heard the loud meows. They started yelling and the more they yelled the harder Rose squeezed, finally all 4 kids were crying and yelling and the kittens were crying loudly. "I had to go and pry Rose's hands open to get the kittens out. Now she is on supervised visits only." reported Ruth the next day. I pointed out that the kittens were getting pretty squeezed in mommy's tummy before they were born...

Older sister, Mary, and mommy Cookie to the rescue. Rose did get some kitty time today and they do complain when she squeezes them with love. I think they have just learned how to push our buttons, and they seem just fine after the close encounter of the Rose kind. Luke hasn't figured out how to grab them yet... soon he can crawl around with the bigger kitties.

Notice the grip and the complaining kitten. We tried to teach her how to be gentle, but it is hard when others are trying to get the kitten away from you - it makes you hold it that much tighter, right Rose?

Oh, oh... the one in each hand grip... so soft but meowing like crazy!

Luke looks to the Cross - the Light! Such a good boy for grandpa and grandma!

But mom's the BEST, and we wouldn't want it any other way little Uke! Jesus, we trust in YOU. Bless-bless, Barb

A mother's life-giving womb - LIFE of Silence

On the road as the sun was rising - thinking as a mother on her giving birth day would... "It's Nancy's birthday today and that means special in every way! Look, Pat, at the beautiful sunrise even through the dirty windows of the pickup. Look at the windmills turning in the wind on this chilly morning before another winter storm is predicted. What do they say... 'Red in the morning, sailors take warning?' Remember that her birthday has been on Good Friday a couple of times over the last 32 years, but never on Easter? Then in 2005 on this day Blessed John Paul II died, and in a few weeks he will be Saint John Paul the Great! And she had all that dark hair at birth - we called her 'Nanuk of the North' - our little Eskimo girl? And do you remember how she was so quiet and hardly ever cried - that she slept all night the first night home from the hospital? I must admit that she was such an angel that I worried that she would be taken from me... how could a baby be so good?"

Nancy and Bernadette making cupcakes for Bernadette's first birthday in November. It has been so wonderful to have Nancy on the farm more over the last year. Since her two, soon to be three, are not in school yet she comes to the farm for part of the two weeks that Bill is away... traveling internationally with his job. Such a treat!
I shared before how quiet Nancy was as a small baby... and we eventually discovered that she had thick fluid behind her eardrums, so she was unable to hear much. We noticed that she was not developing speech as she should as she got close to a year, and that is when this was discovered and after tubes - corrected! With two calm and quiet girls to begin our family... just 16 months later Maria was #3 and all that changed, as she was a very normal baby and I learned how unusual my first two were rather than Maria being abnormally demanding and loudly crying... that is what comes with a baby usually... it just took my third one to show me that.

Nancy has always loved her life on the farm, and it is special that she can share it with her kids.
As Pat and I were traveling this morning - it gave us time to do morning prayer together, and once again I was listening with those mother's ears on her giving birth day!
From the first reading in Isaiah 49:8-15 How could this not resonate?
"Can a mother forget her infant, be without tenderness for the child in her womb? Even should she forget, I will never forget you." So special to read on this day - forever filled with LIFE/LOVE/LIGHT!

Then we read the Gospel from the amazing Gospel of John - the Gospel of LOVE! "whoever hears my Word and believes in the one who sent me has eternal LIFE..." John 5

Then to read the meditation for the day by Servant of God Madeleine Delbrel (1964) - how my heart soared when I read her addressing "Whoever hears my Word"

She speaks about the importance of silence... "It seems impossible to me to imagine a life lived in accordance with the Gospel that does not include both a wanting a life of silence and knowing that such a life is essential." Wow! How I begin to question the desire I have to find silence in my life and to sink deep into prayer and study there. It seems that I am being a drop out and lazy when I crave this and try to carve it out for myself. Yes, I have found a car ride a half hour each way to work with the radio off is a glorious place for this silence and prayer. And, of course, life is not a place of silence for the most part, but if I can manage it I long to sit down with my rosary for an hour or more and truly sink into the silence of prayer and meditation!

Yes, I am just back in from helping Pat and Paul record numbers while they vaccinated 19 calves - we are up to 110 now! I, of course, had my camera along to record this giving birth day!

"If we pick out from the beginning of the Gospel to the end all the statements Jesus makes about the 'Word' of God- all that he says about the conditions needed for it to be 'received' and 'listened to'; for it to be 'kept,' for it to be 'done,' for it to be 'announced';- we will quickly realize that for the 'good news' to be known, lived and communicated it must be welcomed, recollected, and carried in the depth of our being.

And if our whole lives have to be made subject to the Gospel of Jesus Christ, if we desire to make all his words as far as possible our guide in the circumstances of our life, this will only be possible if we make creating silence an integral part of our life." Servant of God Madeleine Delbrel

In the calf hut - a cute one!

Jesus, I am filled with such joy at the flavor of this giving birth day! It is a rich and wonderful taste added to all that I see and do this day! I ask that you hold our sweet Nancy, who showed us the beauty of silence even with a newborn in the house. Her adopted Godfather, Uncle Jerry, was so impressed by her peacefulness, that he spoke of her with great love and amazement, when he visited shortly after she was born. She did find her voice and used it to bring LIGHT into the world as she embraced teaching high school, alternative American Indian School, and now through her blog - http://www.dosmallthingswithlove.com/, and teaching her children the JOY to be found in being creative, as well as the wonder of this world as shared on the farm and at home! By doing small and humble sharings she is lighting a candle of Faith in her projects and crafts as well as in her personal sharings! Dear Lord, give our Nancy and her family great blessings as they are soon to welcome a new son. The best gift ever for a mother - that closeness she knows and loves each day of carrying him in her Life-giving womb... we are so blessed as women called to marriage and family! Jesus, may we come to you in the silence of our hearts and grow in our knowledge and love of YOU. Jesus, we trust in YOU. Amen and Hallelujah

This nice heifer was born this morning just before we left for Pipestone. Her name will forever be Nancy! Another wonderful way to remember your day - come soon to meet her - her number will 110D!

Bless-bless, Barbara Luke/mom

My dimple girl, Nancy, with her little angel, Bernadette, who actually has two dimples too! Happy Birthday!!!! We love you so much!!! Bless-bless, mom

Your TEC song - Testify to LOVE by Avalon

Happiest of Birthdays Nancy Anna Joan of Arc

Nancy introducing Bernadette to a newborn calf last week. The farm is so busy for us this time of year with calving and all that goes with it. Pat is out pulling a new calf, and then we are leaving with the trailer and a cow. Happy Birthday dear farmgirl at heart, Nancy, I will gush more later!

Tuesday, April 1, 2014

Luke with his first kittens in LIFE

Mary is worried that Luke is going to grab the little black boy kittie... but Luke seems to like the soft warm live body he feels on his tummy! I think that I can predict a constant line of kitties in your future little Luke. Just ask your sibs - I think they can name about a dozen or more kitties they have shared their lives with already!

Cute and close! The kitten's name is Oreo.

Soon they will be crawling around trying to get their bellies off the floor!

Luke looks about ready to give the orange one a taste...

"I like this kitty, and he likes my blanket too grandma! I think I will really love kitties taking a part in my life... they are soft and soon we will be running around together and I will laugh at them as they play with me! It is great to meet my new kitties... Life is looking to be a great thing, and I love sharing it with all the animals God made."

Luke holding his first kitty with the help of his big sister, Mary. She is a real pro when it comes to caring for baby kitties as they grow and get cuter and more fun. Jesus, we trust in YOU. Bless-bless, Barb

"This shadow made me change direction." John

David and Snowball connect while out in the nice weather on Sunday. There is something so gentle and sweet about the look in the eyes of Snowball and the recognition she shows the kids when they call her name and reach out to her! No wonder she is one of the most beloved pets among the cows. Also the fact that she is recognizable with her white face - in a herd of mostly black she is a standout for sure!

Just floating on air after sharing prayer with my two men! John stayed another night with the talk of a winter blizzard - we are all very relieved to see that the ground barely got a dusting of snow, so a lot less work than we thought. Pat and I share prayer in bed before we get up in the morning from the Magnificat, and then go into the readings for the day and then usually we share for a while about things on our hearts. When John is home - the three of us share breakfast, and then John and I will do the morning prayer in the office on our phones! Since he has been staying in Canby and helping Fr Craig - they do the office together and now John and I know the proper way to do it! After we do the petitions John and I share our petitions, and this morning John's prayer for his brain and continued healing and protection flowed over into how the news of his brain showing changes this last time gave him an abrupt change in his direction..."Lord, I see that this shadowing on my brain made me change direction and turn to YOU." How true are the difficulties in our lives - the Cross - that makes us weak and wounded and small and humble and then we reach out to HIM, and he picks us up and carries us!

I will always recall when I had my hip replaced and felt like a total weak failure - I had the opportunity to talk to Hallel in France. As I was pouring out my patheticness to her - she in her wisdom reminded me that "when we weak is when we turn to Jesus, mom." "Well, than I want to be weak and pathetic always, because I want to belong to HIM!" And so when I encounter those times of failure and sickness and sin and darkness and all that makes me know I need Jesus always - I am thankful and realize that these "shadows" are there to remind us that we need HIM! It was so devastating to hear that John's brain is showing changes due to the radiation he had to live, yet he continues to see that this is also a call to leave all behind and follow Christ and His Bride, The Church!

John took Luke over to introduce him to the Most Beautiful Lady in the world - Mary, Mother of God and our Spiritual Mother! John and I were laughing and kidding each other this morning as I found two that he had missed in the count of 30 in our family room! "She is in our hearts and thoughts as we are surrounded by her beauty!" said John. Today as he prayed he thanked her for holding him close throughout his journey called brain cancer/healing/finding the path ahead.

The Gospel today is amazing and it was a joy to read it before bed, with Pat and with John! Jesus tells us to be healed, "Rise, take up your mat, and walk." He also tells us to stay away from sin - "Look, you are well; do not sin any more, so that nothing worse may happen to you." This is only possible if we humbly keep our eyes, hearts, minds and souls focused on HIM at all times in all situations and always taking those sins that do happen to HIM in the sacrament of reconciliation!

Johnny feeding little Luke... how he loves his first food!

Jesus, we are filled with wonder and awe at how You love us unconditionally, and if we only acknowledge how we need you and are nothing without you... Knowing that each closing of a door means that we are to change direction and always Trust in YOU! We are given life-giving waters flowing out from YOU to keep us always bearing the fruit for the world. May our fruit reflect the Spirit alive within us -" But the Holy Spirit produces this kind of fruit in our lives: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness," Galatians 5:22 Jesus, we long to be totally yours! Jesus, we trust in YOU. Amen and Hallelujah

Pat in for Sunday dinner on Sunday with our farm family of Ruth and Paul and their 5 - serving dessert around the table! Ruth now has a wonderful blog promoting the family farm - http://familyfarmexperience.blogspot.com/

Bless-bless, Barbara Luke

"I have heard your prayers and seen your tears, I will heal you."2Kings 20:5

April fools? Paul put Luke on today with an April Fools greeting...

It just so happens that Luke was getting an "applestach" from John as he was feeding his hungry mouth applesauce... enjoy!

Hello my name is... by Matthew West

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This was taken on Easter Sunday in Colman, South Dakota about 12 years ago!

My dad had done the unthinkable - said yes to being a Deacon in Colman, South Dakota just 60 minutes from our door to their door of the rectory... they had promised to help out as parish administrator of a small town chuch and to help out in the other cluster churches. It was my parents first contact with living the farm life other than second hand through a visit here and there to our farm. Now they were immersed in farm life and loved it! I loved the fact that for 3 years I could jump in the car and go and hang out with them for an afternoon here and there! It was amazing! Soon their 3 years were at an end and we all gathered for a huge family celebration of Easter... we filled the social hall with our huge family... I am the oldest of 11 with over 30 grandkids! The wind of the Holy Spirit was howling as our family gathered in front of the church doors for a family photo... it made us smile to have the wind roaring at us with the fury that only the prairie can muster!

How I love the pictures of the kids in Big Shoes! Adorable!

What is it about the kids walking around the house in mom or dad's shoes? I think that it is a form of flattery... they like to see mom of dad in those shoes so it makes them feel like they are looking like their beloved parent of just acting big like them! I remember my 3rd daughter, Maria, was so in love with her daddy... she would crawl around the bedroom and drape his socks around her neck that she had picked up off the floor just as a token of her love for him. I have a group of pictures in the bathroom that are just of that theme... Wearing mom and dad's shoes. I think that it is about as cute as can be... and also a wonderful tribiute to a child's love and appreciation for their parnets. I have now seen my 3 grandchildren that live closeby and spent much time with us also put on mostly grandpa's shoes which are usually over by the door and walk around in them... I think that a lot of that reflects that love and appreciaion that they have for him and his loving sharing ways with them. Now a generation later I have watched now grandpa LOVE each one of those kids so specially by showering them with the time by taking them along outside or allowing them to sit in his lap and share his meal when he comes in late for a meal... The same scene that I saw with our 5 kids and the resulting love and appreciation and respect! Who knew wearing his shoes was a sign of love and devotion?!?

The absolutely amazing letter that Susan/Little Sister Hallel sent to Nancy about marriage...

Nancy was engaged to Bill Bandzuch on April 10, 2010... We are all so happy for her as she has waited long for her Catholic man to come into her life. She had stood by her values and as a result it was especially sweet and special when she joyfully accepted Bill's proposal! We all gathered in Maria and Joe's back yard to help them celebrate that afternoon minus her sister in KC... Little Sister Hallel. We called her and she spoke to each one of us and even her neice and nephews ! A month later Nancy found this letter from her sister in the mailbox. It was mother's day and she called me to read it to me over the phone. I was blown away and at first thought how crazy it was that a young girl,who had answered the call to remain chaste and be a little sister had so much insight into marriage! But when I realized that she is now the "bride of Christ" it now makes all the sense in the world! I would like to once again share this powerful and wise letter here... Nancy, Look I am writing you a letter... aren't you impressed? Well, you better be because both you and I know how often this happens. I am writing to tell you now extremely excited I am about your engagement to Bill. I have to admit, when I got the news I wasn't really shocked but that night as it sunk in during adoration and the next day during mass I was so happy. My heart overflowed with joy for you. How beautiful to know that you have found your... most cherished cross. While I have never had the experience of being married, from what I hear is that he will truly be your cross. But not your cross as human eyes look at it, as a thing to run away from, as a thing of torture but rather as that which is truly the tree of life. It is only when clinging to the cross that one can truly live, it is the source of all life and of all love. Your marriage to Bill will be this, not something to run away from when it gets hard and when it hurts, but something to hold tight to, especially when it hurts because it is in this that you will find life and love. Know that it is through your marriage that Jesus wants to show you his great love for you and also that the best example that you can give to the world of Christ's love is a marriage lived in truth. So, in other words, know that I am so happy for you and that I love you a whole lot. Know that you are in my prayers during this crazy time of wedding planning; that you may not go crazy but rather learn to love each other better and that you may both have great joy and great peace. Remember to pray for me too! God Bless, Your little Sister Hallel

Our daughters, Nancy and Little Sister Hallel/Susan, with John in Lourdes, France.

Little Sister Hallel had just taken the habit of the community of the Lamb and changed her name a few days before this taken in August of 2009... John, Nancy and I had gone to help her celebrate this huge step in her life! John had just been diagnosed with brain cancer and had just completed his second chemo and was better, so within 24 hours we decided that we would fly to France! We visited Lourdes and all bathed in the healing waters which miraculously flow from the spring where St Bernedett was told to dig in the mud! John said that the day was "very good" , and for him that is saying a lot! This past winter Pat and I were in a study group of a book written by Matthew Kelly called Rediscovering Catholicism... this paragraph on p48 is amazing and so wonderfully defends the choice of religious life but also the joys and beauty of this life! I quote: "In every age, there is a small number of men and women who are prepared to turn their backs on popular culture and personal gain to embrace heroically the life Jesus outlines in the Gospels. These people fashion Catholicism into a lifestyle, they listen attentively to the voice of God in their lives, and they passionately pursue their personal adventure of salvation. As a result, they capture the attention and fascinate the imaginations of everyone who crosses their path. Paradoxically, the modern world pities these people because it believes they are missing out on something. Never feel sorry for them. These men and women are the happiest people who ever lived. They are the saints. If the Church is to thrive in this modern era, it depends on men and women like these."

Sitting on the front porch of our home in Minneapolis - me and my friend Marge a few years after..

This was taken a few years after we met while attending welcome week at the U of M in 1970! I did not know at the time that Margie would be responsible for the rest of my life - my meeting and a year later marrying her brother, Pat... I have written many cards to her over the years telling her in every way possible that because of her I have my life. We will celebrate our 32 anniversary this summer, so she has been in my life more than not! Thank you Margie Rose/Raterra Rashana for being such a loyal and true friend... there is no doubt that you were put in my life by our loving forgiving Lord ! Your life growing up on the farm in Southwest Mn is now my life and our children's lives are blessed as a result! How I rejoice at the Lord's fingerprint on my life! Jesus I trust in You! Please bless my dear friend now and forever. Amen and Halleluia!

My sister Mary at the baptism of my daughter, Nancy Anna.. She is Godmother and my dad is baptizing

In 1982 my sister, Mary, came to help me while I was on bedrest with my second daughter... I had high blood pressure and was on bedrest, so Mary came to help me around the house with my 2 year old Ruth and help Pat milk the cows. She was a city girl like me, but fell in love with the farm and we loved having her with us! After Nancy was born on April 2 we asked Mary to be her Godmother. We realized after I was on my feet that she needed to move on, so tearfully she went up to live with my folks in TF. She eventually became a doctor's office nurse and on a blind date met her farmer, Gerry.... he was a dairy farmer in Wisconsin. They married and had a daughrer, Audrey.... When Audrey was 20 mo Mary died of Lymphoma... Gerry is now married to Cathy, who had 5 kids and her husband drowned in the river up there...

Snapping beans with the 5 klids as we are in Taylors Falls visiting my parents in the summer of 92

I was in the thick of bean harvest in my garden when I took my kids to spend some days in the summer with my parents... probably late July of 92... WE picked them and brought them along to snap at my parent's house. We have such wonderful memories of our days spent in Taylors Falls at their remodeled cape cod house up on Angel Hill. Now after 14 years of liiving on Lake Michigan in Manistique in the upper penninsula... my parents have bought a home on the St Croix River in St Croix Falls, Wi which is right across the river from Taylors... I am thrilled that now my parents will be close enough for me to go and see them for the day or for a few days much more often! I loved to go to the big lake, but so missed my parents being closer so that I could spend time with them! Thnak you Lord for this move and may they continue to be a wonderful presence in my life for years to come!

Pat's mom took this picture after milking the cows one morning shortly after we were married.

Typical old camera quality - this was after we were done milking the cows with the baby calves... with dairy calves...they are taken off of their mothers at birth so that you and I can drink the milk...they start out on a big bottle and then graduate to pails of milk. That was one of my jobs out there as well as giving each cow some protein to eat while Pat was moving down the line milking them. I also would help undo the headgate when he was done so that they could go out of the barn. Pat of the time I would sit on an upside down pail and watch him milk the cows and sometimes we would visit. I married a farmer and I found these times special to the point that when Ruth was born - I would bring her over and put her strapped in her infant seat close to the heater in the milk house... she was born Jan 4, 1980... Soon my in laws told me to bring her in the house and put her in the bed with them while I helped Pat... Ruthie got to know her grandparents really well and has early memories of waking up and seeing a certain light fixture over their bed and the warm feelings that go with snuggling with her loving grandparents morning after morning! They even took a movie of her first steps dressed in different outfits day after day that we have never seen! Got to do that someday! The early years were special for many!

Pat comes to visit me in the Cities as things slow down a bit on the farm - cross country skiing...

This picture was taken by my younger sister, Mary... she is now gone for 24 years due to cancer at the age of 28! Pat had come to visit me and we decided for him to wear one of my brother's boots and try cross country skiing for the first time! The boots were too small, but when Pat Verly is motivated to do something... nothing will prevent him! Boy, have I learned that to be a huge part of him after almost 32 years of marriage! He also likes to be rough and tumble and caused this fall to get some bodily contact and to tussle with me! Thank goodness for soft snow to fall in! The dating years were long distance and due to the demands of the farm - we dated maybe once every few weeks when he could certainly not every night or even once a week... at the busy times of the year it was even less, but Pat was very good about calling me on the phone and having long conversations about our lives... he gave me many lessons on the farm life in the middle of the nigh... when he would wake me up after he got in from work! I knew that when that phone would ring that it was my farmer! The thing about farming... similar to the Catholic Church... you never learn it all...there is always more to learn and my Patrick is very intelligent and very interested in it all!

I like to call this picture taken at our first Christmas....married 4 months....THE LOOK OF LOVE!

Her name Hallel means Joy- Halleluia.... she reflects that inner joy when she is singing...

Little Sister Hallel has shared that when others say her name they are praising God with the highest of praise and Joy! There are many Hallel psalms including the last 5 psalms - 145 thru 150 and the grand Hallels are in the center of the psalms. the word means tall in French also and Hallel being much taller than most...this is humorous to the community! As a mother I am happy for her choice to be with the community of the lamb to see her happiness and joy... her face lights up in a way that cannot be anything but genuine happiness!

Finally I leave the nest!

I loved being with my family so much that finally after I had become an nurse - 4 years of college and lived at home... got a job at Hennipen County Medical center on the Neurolgoy station... and just went along day to day at home with my family including 10 yonger siblings... One day my mom asked me if I had ever thought of getting my own place... Oh, I tought... that is maybe something I should think about. I then rented a third floor of a house just a block from my parents' home. It was great! Close to my beloved family...yet my own place!

John with Bertha at the State Fair a few years back

Bertha took reserve champion with her calf in the cow-calf division a couple times for John at the State Fair... You can always count on Bertha! 4 H was a wonderful thing for our kids... It was the one time that they learned about livestock on a day to day basis with their dad. They also learned a lot of life skills including how to present themselves in front of people... this has developed into John's future wishes for a life profession... Ag and presenting himself to large groups of people however that all comes together... Lord hear our prayer for a long and bright future for John with you always number one in his life!

Two 5 month losses - both boys born after John - buried at the cemetary

William and John would have been very close in age - about 14 months... I went in for my 5 month check up and the heartbeat couldn't be found... an ultrasound revealed that he had died... I had some scary miscahrriages, so the thought of carrying him til I "lost" him was terrifying to me. I went through a 5 month abortion procedure to deliver my son. I had a postagladin suppository inserted and went through a horrible experience with pain and chills to deliver our tiny son,William. I held him wrapped in a blanket, and Pat and I shed tears at what could have been. It was winter and the ground was frozen...we took him home in a small box and put it in the freezer.. So hard to open it and face him and have the memories and tears come flooding me again. About two years later the same thing unexplainably happened... We lost Robert the same time and way... "It looks like his cord is fatally kinked." It was earth shattering to face another loss of a son and brother for John here on this earth... WE know that we have these children to be united with someday! These and the other 4 lost along the jounrney of our "nest". I feel that they were both the best and the worst years of my life! How I prayed that the Lord would give me one more child after John so that the world would see visible truth that "no, we were't just trying for our boy and that is why we ended up with 5 children! We were open to family!" Yet I am flooded with peace and even joy to know that all our children are with us whether here on earth and in heaven! I have named each of my children in heaven... Christopher lost between Ruth and Nancy, Thomas lost when my sister Mary died of Lymphoma in 1986, Joseph lost before John, William and Robert lost at 5 mo after John, and Mary lost at 3 1/2 mo in 1994. The prayer for them of their mother is a powerful experience for me as I remember them daily and many times feel that they are up there keeping me on the straight and narrow as much as possible. All I know is that I must need a lot of help to have that small spiritual army in heaven....

John and his 4 sisters.... When asked the family he wants someday... "I want 4 girls and a boy!'

Our 9 precious grandchildren, with another one on the way

I got a call today from daughter number 3 that I needed to update my grandchildren picture - the number had doubled since... So here are the 9 together with Hallel when she visited in April. Ruth has 4 with another on the way - Simon age 8, Mary age 7, David soon to be 5, and Rose 13 months. Nancy has Augustine 2, and Bernadette 7 months. Maria has 3 children... Therese 5, David 3, and Patrick 8 months! So this is almost a complete picture except for Maria's two losses due to miscarriage, who are in heaven. We love all life we have been blessed with here and in heaven, and pray for each daily. Guardian Angels watch out for them. Jesus, we Trust in YOU.

An interesting fact about the cows and calves in the pastures... Cow trails...

These two pairs are demostrating how they all walk in the same path or trail...If you look on the other side of the hill above them you can see a cow trail that they use on that side of the pasture. When you go out and walk in the pasture... you will see these paths that are very much used to the point that they are deep and there is no grass growing in them just like a well used people trail gets to be. On a very steep hill there can be teraces of many cow trails along the side where they will go single file like these two moms with their calves following along behind... I did see some of the calves get tired of the slow pace and run ahead, but it is obvious, when you see the trails,that the cows use them for the most part to get from one place in the pasture to another. How my husband loves to see them out there in the lush grass getting fat off of the grass that grows where no crops can due to the up and down land or the creeks that run through them and are also important for the cows and calves to get the water they need just like every living creature! My husband's idea of a romantic evening is to go out on the 4 wheeler or the pickup to look at the cows and calves in the 6 different pastures that we have! The kids have fond memories of going out to look at the cows in the back of the pickup - great vacation/family time!

It doesn't get much cuter than this - Ruth Ida Rose with a forever remembered baby kitty...

The Net team stops by as they come to the end of their year of serving Catholic Youth!

Our nephew, Sam Cross, has taken a year out of his life to work on the National Evagelical Team - they are Catholic Youth in their late teens and early 20s that travel the country in a van giving retreats to youth everywhere! Their homebase in St Paul, but they have traveled from coast to coast this last year and they themselves are from many places in the country and even a girl from Netherlands! In the picture Sam is standing all the way to the left by John. He lived with us a summer and learned about the farm and was in 4 H and FFA here. He showed cattle and pigs at the county fair and then went up to the State Fair with his projects and then worked in the Miracle of Birth barn for a couple of summers. Sam is a special nephew! He also has done many TEC retreats after he said yes to our request that he make a retreat and absolutely fell in love with TEC! Now he has taken it a step further in serving on this traveling retreat team with his guitar and wonderful joyful spirit... touching many youth along with the 10 youth that are on the team with him. Just before this picture was taken... Sam had given them rides back and forth on the loader to "see" the cows and farm scenes... Sitting to the far right of the tractor in the loader bucket is a girl from Minnesota named, Sarah. We struck up a conversation in the kitchen while I was cleaning up after the meal that we had shared... She started the conversation by asking me if I had always lived in Mn... I thought that I would wow her by starting off by saying; "No, actually I was born in Boston, Mass!" Her reply; "So was I!" That was a start of the most amazing give and take between us! We share so much in common and mostly I thought that she was probably me about 40 years ago when I was a new Catholic and so in love with EVERYTHING about the Catholic Church! She shared that her family of 4 girls and one boy and both of her parents converted from Episcopal to Catholic and why would you belong anywhere but the True Church!? ! Wow! I was blown away to meet someone on this long journey I have been on that is at the same place I was at that age! All of these youth are so amazing and I hope and pray and am really confident that they have touched deeply and positively many youth on their trek across the country! I asked the girl from Netherlands about the Catholic Church in her country... I have heard that it barely exists any more and she agreed that only the old attend church and otherwise those that are Catholic like her go with their families at EAster and Christmas... her friend told her that she would do the NET as she had done ahead of her and now a young person is returning to this country without God... filled with love and knowledge of her Church - Jesus and His Mother - It was a wonderful hour and a half and gave me so much hope for the Church and how the grassroots are strong and spreading our faith far and wide! Thank you Lord for all the work that is taking place in your church and please continue to use me and all those that are listening to and answering your call! Amen and Halleluia!

John the actor and his love of the stage and being in front of people - It was a fun ride!

This was John doing the "She thinks my tractor is attractive" skit for Arts In at the county fair in 4H a few years back... It is just so fun to see him in his element and it always amazed us to see how relaxed he was up there. Not like any of the rest of us! Now he hopes to take that love of the stage and put it along with his Ag background into some type of a job for his future... It will certainly be interesting to follow along and now with a year overcoming brain cancer and all that has meant for him... it has certainly taken him to a deeper and more compassionate place... We all await what the future will bring... Thank you John for all the FUN we have had following you as you share the joy with us on stage! It has been a fun ride! Jesus we know that you are in control of John's life and have a wonderful plan just for him! Jesus we trust in You!

Oh happy day! Another fun time with John...

First with a talent show at the Catholic School doing...Oh happy day from Sister Act and then again for 4 H share the fun... Finally with chior robes that we found at the Thrift store and with his sister, Maria, and cousins, Sam and Phil Cross... we enjoy the fun at Christmas camp. John even put it on for Easter when we went to visit Maria in the monastery. We shared a meal through the enclosure and John did the entertainment for all of us by putting on a chior robe and lip sincing.... Oh happy day for all of us... it was great entertainment that was good over and over!

He who follows me will not walk in darkness but will have the light of life. Jn 8:12

I came across this inside of a long letter that our daughter, Maria, had written daily to share her experience with us as she went from a Poor Clare Monastery in Sauk Rapids, Mn to one close to Washington DC... It was so hard to think that she could go so far away to a cloistered monastery... where we would have to go and see her there and never get a hug as she would be in the "enclosure". It was to the point of her entering and the mother superior asked her to write a letter saying that this was the right thing for her to do... she couldn't write it and was back home! We were shocked and amazed! After saying goodbye to her life... she returned and embraced it! I will never forget her out helping put the cows and calves out to pasture and saying how wonderful it was to be out there... Now that was a miracle! So often on this journey we have been weak, depressed, scared and lost... The image of Jesus picking up the weak lost lamb is so often coming to me... This is wonderful to be able to share here with all of you that are upholding us in prayer!

A miracle! We make it to France in the midst of John's brain cancer and after a brain biopsy!

One of my favorite pictures from France...Susan helping John walk through the rain down a path at Saint-Pierre. They have always had a close relationship... Susan was 3 1/2 years older than John... I lost two pregnancies between them and it was never kept from the kids... we all grieved together at the losses. Susan was thrilled with her little brother from day one. She was constantly caring for him and watching out for him. We have a family story that Susan saved John's life... I will save that for a later date to share. John discovered in France that he could walk at a normal speed leaving his walker behind and having someone under his weak side. I think that he enjoyed the closeness also. We were in France and it was totally due to prayer!

The way of the cross - Cancer strikes our 20 year old son!

John at Lourdes with his two sisters... LS Hallel in the habit she had just received as a new member of the community of the Lamb and Nancy. From the back as they support their brother it looks like he is on the cross. After the news about two months earlier that he had brain cancer and then the ataxia on his left side as a result of the biopsy they had to do to diagnose it... It certainly a cross like no other we could have ever imagined! Beyond our wildest nightmares! Just the day before we left for France he was able to get to the bathroom by himself for the first time! We could go to France to see his sister join the community, and go to Lourdes and bath in the miraculous and healing waters under the watchful care of our most Blessed Virgin Mother of God... Mary Most Holy! John truly turned from a heavy heart to one of hope at this point in the journey.

Little Sister Hallel here for Thanksgiving and spent a week with John.

A group shot over at Ruth and Paul's place... Little Sister Hallel - Susan here for a week. Took John back and forth to radiation, and we then had a family Thanksgiving up in the Cities with her other two sisters that live in ST Paul... Getting ready to head back to Kansas City. That is where she is living for the next year in the only community here in the US... Community of the Lamb... pictured are from left to right... Paul Lanoue, Ruth Lanoue, Little Sister Hallel, her dad Pat and John Verly. In front Mary with her kitty Purrrrrrs.

Family Soul Story - Choose Life!

Pages

Thursday, April 3, 2014

Wrestling with the mysteries of LIFE/LOVE/LIGHT

Wednesday, April 2, 2014

Rose and the baby kitties

A mother's life-giving womb - LIFE of Silence

Happiest of Birthdays Nancy Anna Joan of Arc

Tuesday, April 1, 2014

Luke with his first kittens in LIFE

"This shadow made me change direction." John

Little Sister Hallel here for Thanksgiving and spent a week with John.

The two Davids...