"We may walk in his paths...let us walk in the light of the LORD!" Isiah 1

Time with Max on Saturday... the weather will change to winter today, and we are forever grateful for such a mild day with no wind to have with our Maximilian.  Thank you, Jesus!

5 years ago... love this so much and the light and reflections make it so great along with the special red steer/Bullseye!
Here is the conversation they shared...
Grandpa Pat and David looking at a nice big red steer. Dave had just named it "Bullseye" - due to the red eyes. "Grandpa, load him up and bring him to my house. I like him." "What would you feed him Dave, and where would he stay?" "You have a lot of hay, grandpa, and I think he would stay outside... not in the house." "Sorry, Dave, you will have to come here to see him." Tears of disappointment for a 4 year old with high hopes for a big red fuzzy pet named Bullseye.


David now lives on the farm and all the steers live just outside of his house!  Grandpa now lives 3 miles away in his former home.  A big change that happened around here on Good Friday of 2016! 

This is my second Advent in our new home and today I was grateful to Ruth and Paul that left this light up garland behind that was perfect for my Advent wreath!  How I love the time we prepare ourselves for Christ!


It was very special to add a tree topper angel from my mother-in-law's angel collection!  She died on Dec 11th/Gaudete Sunday last year, so we are just a week from the 1 year anniversary of her passing.  The statue of Mary's Immaculate heart is behind in the window... always stood in her bedroom on the dresser, and has been promised to John when he leaves and gets married on June 2nd!  Ruth and Paul's Christmas card just seemed to want to be with Mary and Jesus in the center!  Let our preparation to be better disciples begin!!!

New candles are on my list!!!


One  thing about walking down that hard narrow path with Our Lord as we carry/drag our Most Cherished Cross and embrace our suffering and sacrifice to work on our perfection or even to work on our doing small things humbly with great love... one important part of this journey is that we walk in the LIGHT of the Lord!  We are not left in the dark... No!  We have the beautiful LIGHT of The Truth to guide our way into the LIFE eternal!  From where does the LIGHT eminate to help us find our way?  Through Jesus in The Word, The Sacraments, in the lives of the Saints and praying to them, in the daily Rosary and Mary his loving and caring Mother always listening to our prayers and pleas for help!

Nancy's little ones making a special sign for their brother lost at 20 weeks...Maximilian.  "See you in heaven."  He will be a shining light beckoning them to come and join him in heavenly LIGHT!  My losses and now my grandchildren keep me focused on meeting them in glory, and I depend on their prayers and help in keeping far from temptation to sin.  Imagine them looking down upon their mom or grandma when she is sinning... that gives me pause!


Nancy and Bill shared wonderful family pictures they had taken when Max was still with them in the womb!  So much has changed so quickly and we still have grief fresh to work through.  When their family picture arrives/Christmas card... it will join Ruth and Paul's in the center!


A cute story to add to our listening for our names during mass... Rose had such a huge smile when we said the creed - "rose again."  She looked over to her parents and beamed in joy and surprise!  Rose wanted to know when we say her mom, Ruth, name.  "I know ... 'we are not worthy to enter under your Ruth (roof)...'!"  That happens to be the Gospel today!  Matthew 8/the Centurion with the paralyzed servant "suffering dreadfully."  Yes, we are called to that and Christ heals us to go forward following HIM!

These two girls!!!  In about 10 days they will be joined by 13 month old Evangeline Mary!  I will have to get matching outfits for the 3 little girls - two are toddlers and Joy does the army crawl to get around now!  All our grandchildren will have the weekend together at my family Christmas!!!  CCC/Cross (my maiden name for real!) Christmas Camp!!!  My family is over 120 strong now!  You can only imagine the magnitude of FAMILY when Santa comes on Saturday night!

Hallel will not be able to join us, but there are many fake plans for family to get down there and see her.  We are asked not to visit during Advent, so they will start during Christmas Vacation.  Ruth and Paul and family will go down and spend some days, and hopefully John can bring Bobbi and her parents down to meet our Little Sister Hallel and her wonderful Community of the Lamb!

How blessed was I to have her adoring her spouse with me!  Each day we know of her prayers for her family and we are lifted up and the LIGHT shines all around us!  She is with us in Spirit and in Truth!


I love the words from this Meditation from the Gospel - "I am not worthy..."
Servant of God Archbishop Luis Maria Martinez (1936) writes;
Let nothing deter the soul, then, from inviting the Divine Spouse to rest within her.  Let the Beloved come to his chosen one.  The soft couch smoothed by humility, warmed by tenderness, and perfumed with the fragrant myrrh of sacrifice is ready.  Let the Beloved come to the manger, converted by love into a throne.  Let him come to his living cross and repose tranquilly in the refuge of a love, caressing and tender, delicate and strong, faithful and holy.

Jesus in The Word leads us down the path in The LIGHT of Christ!

What JOY today is the feast of my namesake, St Barbara!

Saint of the Day!
St. Barbara
The Great Martyr Barbara
Barbara (from Nicomedia) was the daughter of a pagan noble who worshipped false gods. Because of her striking beauty, her father enclosed her in a tower to hide her from the snares of men. Barbara vowed virginity, and during an absence of her father had a third window added to her quarters in honor of the Blessed Trinity; at the same time, sh...e also adorned her bath with the sign of the holy Cross. Upon his return her father was so angered over these changes that a miracle was needed to save her life. She was presented before the magistrate, subjected to much torturing, and finally her own father wielded the sword that severed her head. Immediately God's vengeance struck him dead. The holy virgin is highly honored both in the East and the West as patroness of artillery men and of miners. She is especially invoked for preservation from sudden death. She is one of the "Fourteen Holy Helpers."

This beautiful image was sent to me by Bobbi this morning!  I see now that the tower she was put in is in her crown!  How blessed am I to have another daughter soon, who loves the Saints with me?!?  I love them so much!  And it was super fun to see how much St Barbara is venerated in the Southwest!  In the Catholic Church in base in El Paso...

2 weeks after their anniversary... umbrellas in Rome on the way to have their marriage blessed by Saint JPII!

Blessed by a Saint!!!  "Please bless us with a happy healthy family."

Prayers answered in a very real way 14 years later!  Faith/Family/Farm celebrated in LIFE/LOVE/LIGHT!

Nancy and Bill burying their Max - they have faced a very hard cross in their 7th year of marriage.  We celebrated his short life with a very beautiful service on Saturday... Advent is beginning with sadness and sacrifice as we continue to be open to life and serious about raising them as LIGHTS!
http://familysoulstory.blogspot.com/p/my-most-cherished-cross-patrick-gerard.html

Bill's family joined us by Skype from Pennsylvania!  Surrounded by family!!!


Jesus, life is filled with mystery as we follow you down the narrow path surrounded by your LIGHT!  May we continue on and embrace our Most Cherished Cross to find LIFE/LIGHT/LOVE!  Jesus we are grateful for these weeks of Advent, which allow us to come closer to you in our Faith/Family/Farm!  Jesus, we trust in you.  Amen and Hallelujah

John and the girls visiting their two brothers... It was very special to receive hugs of sympathy for our grandson, Maximilian, gone ahead of us, and the sympathy for these two boys we lost after John at 20 weeks also.  I certainly know what Nancy is feeling and facing and asking of the Lord.  Bless-bless, Barbara Mary Luke

Look Rosary girl, Liz... Maria's kids made these single decade rosaries with beads she had..."I have come to realize that Thérèse always has to have a craft going in order to be content.

While dad was away, she decided that she wanted to make some rosaries.

I suggested that she make some simple decade rosaries.

So, T and D took the idea and ran.

I had a whole ton of beads from old broken jewelry, 

and they created some beautiful rosaries with them!"

one example

This girl is coming to Christmas Camp!!! Grandpa is super excited to Maria and her 5 kids!

Mom will fly with them for 3 days here in Minnesota!!!  So sad that dad can't come!

Danielle Rose - True Love/the Cross

Ryan Severson - The Gospel

Christmas card 2017

Congratulations/Condolences as we "Watch"

Gathered around little Maximilian in a circle of love... today the realization that we are in the midst of the celebration of exciting changes in our family by adding a new member with the marriage of Bobbi and John.... therefore there was happy congratulations at the huge Camp Foley breakfast after we shared mass as a family. 

Dominic shovels some dirt as the final farewell to his baby brother. 


Many of those congratulating John and Bobbi at breakfast would then go and hug and give their condolences to Nancy and Bill and their family at the loss of their baby boy, Maximilian.  It certainly brought to home the ups and the downs of life... the Cross we are called to embrace which brings us to LIFE/LOVE/LIGHT!

John introducing his Goddaughter, Josephine to Bobbi and her parents, Dale and Lila. 

Josephine and her baby girl cousin, Joy,will grow up together and they seem to like and appreciate each other more and more.  It was fun to watch them share ball last night at our family supper.

When we stopped to visit great-grandma Anna the girls shared with their kids that they too have 2 brothers buried at the Cemetery.  With the losses we shared as a family... 6 including 2 at 20 weeks we now love and appreciated all LIFE and are very close to each other. 
http://familysoulstory.blogspot.com/p/my-most-cherished-cross-patrick-gerard.html


It certainly is another powerful reminder of how the losses make us appreciate each other here and keep our eyes on heaven when we will be united with our 7 children and now 4 grandchildren!  What JOY!

The circle of LOVE!


Today we are called to "watch!" for we know not when and what lies ahead.  I can remember the yearning that I could see ahead of time and know what my childbearing years would hold and not have the fear of the unknown...  I sense that Nancy now has that fear of her future, and all we can do is PRAY and "watch" with Trust in His Plan for us!

Father Craig with the 2 five year olds - Rose and Berna!

The two 5 year olds a short time ago before Berna and her family headed back to KC..."See you in less than 2 weeks for Cross Christmas!  And Maria and the kids are flying here to see us, and share the weekend, too!"  Yes, we will all be together but Joseph and Hallel!

We pulled off big meals for 10 kids and 8 adults!  We have it down to science, but it will be nice to have a quieter week ahead... yet, we "watch!" and yearn for our Savior, with whom we long to be with forever!

The shop was a place for meals and kids having lots of fun!  Yes, those are popcycle swords made by Gus and Big Dave!

Domo and Luke will grow up together!  The months between them seems like a lot at this point, but we can see them sharing more and more.  Domo is super pumped that his buddy, Romeo, will be here in less than 2 weeks and they can play with their popcicle swords at CCC! 

John experiencing the highs and the lows... he comforted Bernadette at her brother's funeral service.  On Thanksgiving day we all were together with prayer and tears at the sudden discovery that Max had no heartbeat.  John was with Bobbi and her family..."We prayed so hard, and then we cried many tears together."  The day of giving Thanks took a tragic turn, which called our family together at the foot of the Cross!

Rose cried and cried for her baby cousin and Berna and Josephine's baby brother as we laid him to rest.

Wonderful cousin to us... Fr Craig led us to prayer and The Word in which we celebrate LIFE and look to joining him in heaven someday!


St Paul today in the second reading to 1 Corinthians;
"I give thanks to my God always on your account
for the grace of God bestowed on you in Christ Jesus,
that in him you were enriched in every way,
with all discourse and all knowledge,
as the testimony to Christ was confirmed among you,
so that you are not lacking in any spiritual gift
as you wait for the revelation of our Lord Jesus Christ."
How we are lifted up by Christ and his graces and blessings surrounded in prayer by Faith/Family/Farm!

A special family picture with Max... "See you in heaven." 


Jesus, We "watch" always for how you lead us and are in control of all that comes to us in our lives on this journey down the narrow path carrying/dragging our Most Cherished Cross to find LIFE/LOVE/LIGHT!  Max will always be walking with us along with Christopher, Thomas, Joseph, Paul, William, Robert, Mary, Peter, Hector and Ida... a large circle of family that will be there to welcome us forever in heaven with Jesus, Mary, and the Saints!  Jesus, we trust in you.  Amen and Hallelujah

Fun!!!  Bless-bless, Barbara Mary Luke

The grace we receive everyday through the Sacrament of Marriage... we sure do need it!

May you all have a special Advent filled with finding what we are watching for... Jesus more and more in our hearts!

"You are a prolife family and understand the beauty and value of all life!" Fr Craig as we laid to rest our Maximilian today

December 2nd at 10 am in the Calvary Cemetery in Marshall, MN.  We laid to rest our little Maximilian. 


The weather was mild and the winds were gentle... for which we were very grateful and rejoiceful.  His brothers and sisters seemed to know that they needed to make a special momento with their brother in his small casket.  We are very grateful for the special area devoted to losses, and had a small family service with 10 little ones - Ruth's 6 and Nancy's 4 along with parents and Uncle John, grandpa and grandma, and from Pennsylvania Bill's mom and sisters were part by live sharing over Bill's phone!  Fr Craig Timmerman blessed us with his presence and we shared a very special service.

The readings were very special and Psalm 23 so sweet and special... the Gospel from Matthew about allowing the children to come to him, and then Father shared how difficult it is to lose our little ones in the womb, and he began with these words looking around at our families present..."You are a prolife family and understand the beauty and value of all life from conception on."


Yes!!  We proclaim that loud and clear with how we approach family being open to LIFE and raising LIGHTS!

Nancy shared this picture today with these words;

"We buried baby Max this morning. It was a beautiful little service and we feel at peace knowing our little one is in heaven.

Thank you, thank you for your kindness, generous prayers, messages, gifts, and stories of your own losses. Through it all I have felt surrounded in prayer and so blessed by this community of Catholic Women.

Loosing a child has shown me, in such a profound way, just what a ...miracle each life really is. We all start out so small and fragile. It is nothing short of wondrous that we are all here.

And so, I know hard days are coming, and I would appreciate your continued prayers. But also, please give your kids a hug for me today. The fact that they are here and that so many pregnancies end in healthy babies is a miracle we all need to acknowledge more often.

Praise God through it all.

Your sister in Christ,
Nancy"

Two sisters and a cousin with Max... the two 5 year olds, Rose and Bernadette, were very aware and Rose shed tears for her baby cousin.  She also shared during the homily about what she had learned about St Peter in her Catholic Kindergarten class.  As Fr Craig spoke about how St Peter reminds us that we will understand the mysteries of life and death when we arrive in heaven, and that they keep our eyes and hearts focused on being with them someday.

Rose understood that her little cousin Max was dead and we were all sad that he won't live his life here with us.  It was special to honor him as we gathered in prayer and sharing the Word/Jesus/LOVE!

Our small service was filled with lots of family support and tears and hugs and so grateful for an amazing nice day in December - Saturday devoted to The Blessed Virgin Mary and the Vigil of Advent which begins tomorrow. 


We will share mass and Camp Foley breakfast and then Nancy and Bill with return to KC, but always have ties here to their sweet son, Maximilian!

So moving to me was our visit to Pat's mother, who died on Gaudete Sunday/Dec 11th last year.  Ruth and Nancy then showed their little ones their brothers, William and Robert, who also died at 20 weeks in the womb!  The circle of LIFE and death is very deep and powerful now sharing the mystery with my daughter, Nancy.  I prayed so hard that my girls would not have to experience the pain of this difficult loss, yet I was there with her when she did!  Lord, I am yours and I serve you no matter the cost.  Jesus, I trust in you.  Bless-bless, Barbara Mary Luke

Thank you, Lord, and dear Father Craig... you ministered to our hearts, and souls and love of Faith/Family/Farm!