Family Soul Story - Choose Life!

The Pat and Barb Verly family and their 5 children, in laws and grandkids along with many prayer warriors have been drawn together by John's cancer... sharing daily for 8 months started this blog- Family Soul Story - Our faith, family, farm and now our cancer journey called HEALING have colored and deepened our world. WE continue to share and depend on the support of our prayer warrior community, that has lowered us into the Lord's presence for His healing!

Monday, June 5, 2023

5 years since John and Bobbi's wedding - we have added 7 grandkids/Simon's party and family time supreme - +JMJ+

John and Bobbi on their wedding day - June 2, 2018 at St Eloi's in Ghent. Picture by John's cousin, Bridget.

A picture of our 16 grandchildren after sharing the wedding together. Nancy drove back to Kansas City after this picture. We have since added 7 more grandchildren and have reached 23 now. Three of those are John and Bobbi's!

The kiss!

Major Joseph and Maria 5 years ago at the wedding. They have added 2 little ones - Hector, who is one of our 3 boys in 6 weeks. Hector, Jude, and George all are 4 now. Then they added Magdalene, who was born while Joseph was deployed to Afghanistan 2 years ago.

Nancy and Bill 5 years ago - they added George, who is now 4 and the oldest of the 3 boys, and Regina, who is now 1 1/2 years.

Ruth and Paul have since added Thomas Robert, who is named after my father, Deacon Robert Cross. Tom is now 1 1/2 years old and is very loving towards his grandma as we have spent a lot of time together over this last year with all the projects Ruth and Paul have taken on in town... The Parsonage and The Brick House Apartments both across from our beloved Catholic Church.

Praying with John overnight as our adoration hours overlap - his the last hour of Sunday and mine the first hour of Monday. Much to pray about with a family our size... we always end our prayer with the Hail Holy Queen and Jesus, I trust in you.

Hail Holy Queen - Salve Regina as sung by our nun and her Community of the Lamb at night prayer each night! The sound of Angels raised to Our Lord and Lady!

5 years ago a special gift made for the newly weds by wonderful granddaughter, Therese. A Cross stitch Bride and Groom and rosary cases with a single decade rosary inside. They were very touched and how we adore sharing our Faith as a Family so very much - our greatest JOY!

With the 3 little girls 5 years ago - Therese with the painting aprons she made for them out a skirt of her Godmother, Little Sister Hallel. Now she wears a blue habit - the color of the sky and the shape of the Cross. The wedding bouquets added to the sweetness of this.

An appropriate message at this point of Simon's journey - he is in the autism spectrum and we are very happy and proud of how he has grown into his Autism. He is now a graduate of high school and on to a program in Sioux Falls which is a vocational school - Southeast Tech - Mechatronics Program. It is wonderful to see how happy and excited he is for his future.

A beautiful half inch rain - the rain keeps coming so far and plenty of heat. The crops look nice.

The youngers stayed with us during commencement ceremonies.

Tom and grandpa...

One loved farm kid - how we pray for his safety this summer!

Simon with kitten and the party soon to happen!

I took many of these pictures over the years... too many, Ruth reports!

Youngest sister, Joy, is ready for the party!

Squinting in the bright sunlight - it was hot and humid and lots of farm flies.

Minimal pictures as I was looking after Tom and at times Regina - they are cousins that are just a month apart. Lots of stickyness with the icies and boy did the flies flock around them then!

Regina and Tom...

Ruth with Tom and all the cars!

A big crowd - we grilled our hamburgers and they were so good!

Gina with a kitten in her grip.

Big Sister Bernadette with baby sister, Gina, and a cute kitten. We found homes for 2 of them at the party- 2 to go!

My brother, Jim and family came from Glencoe!

A nice display that Simon built from pallets and put feet on them.

Through the years, and now on to his exciting future - asking the Lord to show him the plan that is for Simon alone.

Pat enjoyed spending time grilling on the grill that Southwest Cattlemen has acquired. This is Ruth and Paul's party and I enjoyed being behind the scenes.

Quite the view at sunset on our party... the First of our 23 grandchildren to graduated High School. Next year Ruth and Paul will repeat it with #2, Mary Angela! Lord, and Lady we love you and ask you to show each of our grandchildren the plan that is for them alone. Jesus, we trust in you. Amen and Hallelujah

Up at 8a for mass with the family - 16 of our 23 grandchildren joining us for mass on Holy Trinity Sunday. George and Birdie are best buddies and had to shushed a few times.

Gus in between the farm brothers, David and Luke = best buddies. Gus stayed on the farm for the week and Rose went up to Delano with Nancy's family. On Wednesday 11 year old Rose and 10 year old Bernadette will go to Schoenstatt Camp! LOVE! How I loved for my girls to attend camp and see nuns in habits. On the way home from camp - Susan/Hallel told me she wanted to be a nun!

Family Soul Story - Choose Life!: Susan Angela Agnes/Little Sister Hallel - the story of a Call .

John reading a book to the kids before we went out by the pool to have our Sunday brunch.

Lucy will be 5 months next week with her grandpa, Farmer Pat.

Same size and just 4 weeks apart - Tom and Gina playing with her big sister, Josephine.

Joy and Lucy Marie.

A picnic in the shade - eggs, fruit, rolls and rootbeer from the keg for the party.

Sharing a meal

24 of the 34 gathered after sharing a celebration of Simon!

The pool was a hit on a hot day on the farm! John with Jude and Birdie - they started swimming lessons today and grandma watches Lucy while they are at lessons.

Grandpa with precious arms full of the little guys. Grandma was in the water and got sunburned! Bless-bless, Barbara and the 34 plus many Little Brothers and Little Sisters.

"Let us stand fast in what is right,

and prepare our souls for trial.

Let us wait upon God's strengthening aid
and say to Him:

O Lord, you have been our refuge

in all generations."

St Boniface

675 - 754

Benedictine monk, Bishop, Martyr

nee England ~ Missionary to Germany

Known as Apostle of Germany
Patron: Germany, brewers, World Youth Day

Feast Day - June 5

“In her voyage across the ocean of this world,

the Church is like a great ship being pounded

by the waves of life's different stresses. Our duty is not

to abandon ship but to keep her on her course.” - St Boniface

Danielle Rose amazes!

Friday, June 2, 2023

Double Anniversary day - Major Joseph and Maria 16 years and John and Bobbi 5 years!/Moving the mountain - +JMJ+

Major Joseph and Maria with their 7 children after mass on Mother's Day! Today they are celebrating 16 years of The Sacrament of Matrimony. How we need that Sacrament to give us the graces and strength to face what comes with each new day sharing our lives in our domestic Church/family.

Maria and Joe are in the process of moving with the military from Charlottesville, VA to Leavenworth, KS. Major Joseph is going through his training to become the his new role as Major in the Army as a JAG officer.

June 2, 2007 in St Mark's Church in St Paul, MN.

John and Bobbi on this day 5 years ago at St Eloi Church in Ghent, MN. It was Corpus Christi Weekend so they got married at 4p and had The Corpus Christi readings and mass. "I don't want anyone to sin thinking that since they went to our wedding they didn't have to go to mass on Sunday, so we had the Corpus Christi mass." Fr Craig Timmerman preached John 6 - "unless you eat my Body and drink my Blood, you will have no life in you.'

Their first Anniversary celebrated with 3 month old Jude - a honeymoon baby as did John's 3 older sisters - Ruth with Simon, Nancy with Augustine, and Maria with Therese. Nothing more wonderful than to be "Open to LIFE and raising LIGHTS!"

Lucy Marie's Baptism in February - child #3!

Now celebrating their 5 years with their wonderful family of 3 little ones!

June 2, 2018 was the date of their Sacrament of Holy Matrimony, and that year in August we all - 21 of us and adding 3 in the womb - 24 of us went to France for Hallel's final vows with The Community of the Lamb. I love in the Gospel today when Jesus speaks about the faith to move a mountain into the sea...Jesus said to them in reply, “Have faith in God.
Amen, I say to you, whoever says to this mountain,
‘Be lifted up and thrown into the sea,’
and does not doubt in his heart
but believes that what he says will happen,
it shall be done for him.
Therefore I tell you, all that you ask for in prayer,
believe that you will receive it and it shall be yours..." Mark 11

I consider this beautiful trip we all made to France- St Pierre in the foothills of the Pyrenees Mountains was an example of moving that mountain! The Lord answered my constant and heartfelt prayers so beautifully with our trip paid for by Pat's mother's inheritance to us shortly before. She had gone with us for Hallel's First vows in 2011 at the age of 92! There is no doubt that she was overjoyed to make this possible for our domestic Church/family! So wonderful! And Bill and Nancy had a friend that figured out how they could leave from Pennsylvania after dropping off their younger kids with grandparents, and Joe and Maria could leave from the West Coast, and the rest of us leave from the Cities and all arrive in Toulouse, France! Then there were those that spent more time in Lourdes and those that spent days in Rome! Moving that mountain with prayers and Faith! It was so glorious!

One brother missed the picture - so with the 3 in the womb - 25! Hallel's vows in English in the midst of a French service lasting a couple hours..."I promise unto death." The tears of Joy lept to my eyes!

The Gospel comes to LIFE - The Virgins with their lamps lit for the Bridegroom - Jesus their spouse!

There is an Hallel Psalm today in the mass - Psalm 149. When Hallel changed her name when she took her habit in August of 2009 - the Vigil of The Queenship of Mary... John, Nancy and I were there. John was battling brain cancer and we only realized we could make it a few days before we left as he was able to get himself to the bathroom alone! Talk about moving a mountain with Faith!

When Susan said her new name - "little Sister Hallel" we did not know what she was saying or meaning by this. Later she shared that Hallel is the first part of Hallelujah and it means giving total praise to God. She also shared that the last 5 Psalms are called the Hallel Psalms as they give Praise to God...

Let them praise his name in the festive dance,
let them sing praise to him with timbrel and harp.
For the LORD loves his people,
and he adorns the lowly with victory.
R. The Lord takes delight in his people.
or:
R. Alleluia.
Let the faithful exult in glory;
let them sing for joy upon their couches;
Let the high praises of God be in their throats.
This is the glory of all his faithful. Alleluia.
R. The Lord takes delight in his people. Psalm 149

Our JOY!!! All 5 of our children together in France!

Hallel now wears the Lamb around her neck and her parents are given the circle it was cut from with the Motto they live by in The Community of the Lamb - "Wounded, I will never cease to love." So important for us in our marriages and families. We look to the example of the Lamb sacrificed for our salvation - Jesus, the Son of God!

Aglow after sharing mass and adoration in Trinity Cathedral. Like Moses after time with God in the cloud!

The newlyweds in France! Bobbi even spent her birthday in Lourdes!

Hallel aglow with her spouse, the Lamb!

John and Hallel sharing their weddings just a couple months apart - what a summer of great JOY and blessings and moving mountains! Hallelujah!

Bobbi's birthday in Lourdes, France - August 17, 2018

The Church and the miraclous spring where St Bernedetted dug in the mud - many have miraculously been healed after bathing in the springs with Faith. John fell in love here with Our Lady 9 years before during his battle with brain cancer - he is now healed 14 years and is the new John!

Family Soul Story - Choose Life!: John's cancer stories

John's Spirit Juice Video - now the story continues with wife and 3 wonderful children!

Bobbi's birthday in Lourdes!

Visiting my parents after we returned from France. Sharing morning prayer of The church as dad was a Permanent Deacon in The Catholic Church for 44 years. How I loved my time with them! It ended in 2020 when my mother fell, broke her hip, and died in a day, and then dad came and lived with me for the last 6 months of his life. They were married for 70 years and were only apart for 7 months!

I am still blessed with praying with them... Mom's daily meditations by Pope Benedict XVI - today is was so powerful for me! Not only did mom mention that it was John and Bobbi's wedding day, but it was about how we are to raise LIGHTS after we are saying "yes" to LIFE! "Baptism which takes him up into fellowship with Christ!!!"

now dad's man, Brother Victor, who is speaking about peonies which are otherwise known as Pentecost Roses - Bobbi had many picked locally in her beautiful bouquet!

With her Pentecost Roses and their 5 Godchildren on their wedding day!

Peones/Pentecost Roses and Roses and cute granddaughters 5 years ago! Oh, and Mary the Mother of God, and St Therese, who is Bobbi's patron Saint and answered many prayers while she was waiting 10 years for John to become her husband!

Father Denny holding up Jesus - Body and Blood at mass this morning as I prayed for Major Joseph and John and Bobbi.

Sharing mass with a nun - Mary Morning Star - brings my thoughts to Hallel!

Stunning bouquet while I was praying for Fr Denny with 7 Sisters this morning.

Up close as I did the stations around the church for the 4th mystery - Jesus carries/drags his cross. A special anniversary bouquet!

Good Job Rose - always be kind as Jesus is kind and loving and forgiving to us!

Joy and Tom were here while they are getting ready for Simon's reception on the farm tomorrow.

Joy doing the belly hold on my huge kitty, Ignatius! He was one of their farm kittens, and I have a reputation of being able to give cats a good life.

half her size.

Some wonderful bean seeds coming up with nice rains and heat units . Another thunder storm overhead now... thank you, Lord, for the rains!

Nancy's blog now has become a hugely followed daily podcast - The Catholic Sprouts Podcast - Catholic Sprouts Over 7 million downloads!

Lord, we are longing to love and serve you with our all. May we die to self so that you may live in us and we may be your hands and feet and voice. Jesus, we trust in you. Amen and Hallelujah

A surprise shot of rain a few days ago - it is now dark and thundering again overhead. Rain please Lord!

My daisies by the barn like the rain.

Our 25 egg layers are growing.

9 years ago they lived here and then 7 years ago we traded places. They are truly the farm family and have added Joy and Tom!

Chickens are starting to come outside during the day.

Danielle Rose

This was taken on Easter Sunday in Colman, South Dakota about 12 years ago!

My dad had done the unthinkable - said yes to being a Deacon in Colman, South Dakota just 60 minutes from our door to their door of the rectory... they had promised to help out as parish administrator of a small town chuch and to help out in the other cluster churches. It was my parents first contact with living the farm life other than second hand through a visit here and there to our farm. Now they were immersed in farm life and loved it! I loved the fact that for 3 years I could jump in the car and go and hang out with them for an afternoon here and there! It was amazing! Soon their 3 years were at an end and we all gathered for a huge family celebration of Easter... we filled the social hall with our huge family... I am the oldest of 11 with over 30 grandkids! The wind of the Holy Spirit was howling as our family gathered in front of the church doors for a family photo... it made us smile to have the wind roaring at us with the fury that only the prairie can muster!

How I love the pictures of the kids in Big Shoes! Adorable!

What is it about the kids walking around the house in mom or dad's shoes? I think that it is a form of flattery... they like to see mom of dad in those shoes so it makes them feel like they are looking like their beloved parent of just acting big like them! I remember my 3rd daughter, Maria, was so in love with her daddy... she would crawl around the bedroom and drape his socks around her neck that she had picked up off the floor just as a token of her love for him. I have a group of pictures in the bathroom that are just of that theme... Wearing mom and dad's shoes. I think that it is about as cute as can be... and also a wonderful tribiute to a child's love and appreciation for their parnets. I have now seen my 3 grandchildren that live closeby and spent much time with us also put on mostly grandpa's shoes which are usually over by the door and walk around in them... I think that a lot of that reflects that love and appreciaion that they have for him and his loving sharing ways with them. Now a generation later I have watched now grandpa LOVE each one of those kids so specially by showering them with the time by taking them along outside or allowing them to sit in his lap and share his meal when he comes in late for a meal... The same scene that I saw with our 5 kids and the resulting love and appreciation and respect! Who knew wearing his shoes was a sign of love and devotion?!?

The absolutely amazing letter that Susan/Little Sister Hallel sent to Nancy about marriage...

Nancy was engaged to Bill Bandzuch on April 10, 2010... We are all so happy for her as she has waited long for her Catholic man to come into her life. She had stood by her values and as a result it was especially sweet and special when she joyfully accepted Bill's proposal! We all gathered in Maria and Joe's back yard to help them celebrate that afternoon minus her sister in KC... Little Sister Hallel. We called her and she spoke to each one of us and even her neice and nephews ! A month later Nancy found this letter from her sister in the mailbox. It was mother's day and she called me to read it to me over the phone. I was blown away and at first thought how crazy it was that a young girl,who had answered the call to remain chaste and be a little sister had so much insight into marriage! But when I realized that she is now the "bride of Christ" it now makes all the sense in the world! I would like to once again share this powerful and wise letter here... Nancy, Look I am writing you a letter... aren't you impressed? Well, you better be because both you and I know how often this happens. I am writing to tell you now extremely excited I am about your engagement to Bill. I have to admit, when I got the news I wasn't really shocked but that night as it sunk in during adoration and the next day during mass I was so happy. My heart overflowed with joy for you. How beautiful to know that you have found your... most cherished cross. While I have never had the experience of being married, from what I hear is that he will truly be your cross. But not your cross as human eyes look at it, as a thing to run away from, as a thing of torture but rather as that which is truly the tree of life. It is only when clinging to the cross that one can truly live, it is the source of all life and of all love. Your marriage to Bill will be this, not something to run away from when it gets hard and when it hurts, but something to hold tight to, especially when it hurts because it is in this that you will find life and love. Know that it is through your marriage that Jesus wants to show you his great love for you and also that the best example that you can give to the world of Christ's love is a marriage lived in truth. So, in other words, know that I am so happy for you and that I love you a whole lot. Know that you are in my prayers during this crazy time of wedding planning; that you may not go crazy but rather learn to love each other better and that you may both have great joy and great peace. Remember to pray for me too! God Bless, Your little Sister Hallel

Our daughters, Nancy and Little Sister Hallel/Susan, with John in Lourdes, France.

Little Sister Hallel had just taken the habit of the community of the Lamb and changed her name a few days before this taken in August of 2009... John, Nancy and I had gone to help her celebrate this huge step in her life! John had just been diagnosed with brain cancer and had just completed his second chemo and was better, so within 24 hours we decided that we would fly to France! We visited Lourdes and all bathed in the healing waters which miraculously flow from the spring where St Bernedett was told to dig in the mud! John said that the day was "very good" , and for him that is saying a lot! This past winter Pat and I were in a study group of a book written by Matthew Kelly called Rediscovering Catholicism... this paragraph on p48 is amazing and so wonderfully defends the choice of religious life but also the joys and beauty of this life! I quote: "In every age, there is a small number of men and women who are prepared to turn their backs on popular culture and personal gain to embrace heroically the life Jesus outlines in the Gospels. These people fashion Catholicism into a lifestyle, they listen attentively to the voice of God in their lives, and they passionately pursue their personal adventure of salvation. As a result, they capture the attention and fascinate the imaginations of everyone who crosses their path. Paradoxically, the modern world pities these people because it believes they are missing out on something. Never feel sorry for them. These men and women are the happiest people who ever lived. They are the saints. If the Church is to thrive in this modern era, it depends on men and women like these."

Sitting on the front porch of our home in Minneapolis - me and my friend Marge a few years after..

This was taken a few years after we met while attending welcome week at the U of M in 1970! I did not know at the time that Margie would be responsible for the rest of my life - my meeting and a year later marrying her brother, Pat... I have written many cards to her over the years telling her in every way possible that because of her I have my life. We will celebrate our 32 anniversary this summer, so she has been in my life more than not! Thank you Margie Rose/Raterra Rashana for being such a loyal and true friend... there is no doubt that you were put in my life by our loving forgiving Lord ! Your life growing up on the farm in Southwest Mn is now my life and our children's lives are blessed as a result! How I rejoice at the Lord's fingerprint on my life! Jesus I trust in You! Please bless my dear friend now and forever. Amen and Halleluia!

My sister Mary at the baptism of my daughter, Nancy Anna.. She is Godmother and my dad is baptizing

In 1982 my sister, Mary, came to help me while I was on bedrest with my second daughter... I had high blood pressure and was on bedrest, so Mary came to help me around the house with my 2 year old Ruth and help Pat milk the cows. She was a city girl like me, but fell in love with the farm and we loved having her with us! After Nancy was born on April 2 we asked Mary to be her Godmother. We realized after I was on my feet that she needed to move on, so tearfully she went up to live with my folks in TF. She eventually became a doctor's office nurse and on a blind date met her farmer, Gerry.... he was a dairy farmer in Wisconsin. They married and had a daughrer, Audrey.... When Audrey was 20 mo Mary died of Lymphoma... Gerry is now married to Cathy, who had 5 kids and her husband drowned in the river up there...

Snapping beans with the 5 klids as we are in Taylors Falls visiting my parents in the summer of 92

I was in the thick of bean harvest in my garden when I took my kids to spend some days in the summer with my parents... probably late July of 92... WE picked them and brought them along to snap at my parent's house. We have such wonderful memories of our days spent in Taylors Falls at their remodeled cape cod house up on Angel Hill. Now after 14 years of liiving on Lake Michigan in Manistique in the upper penninsula... my parents have bought a home on the St Croix River in St Croix Falls, Wi which is right across the river from Taylors... I am thrilled that now my parents will be close enough for me to go and see them for the day or for a few days much more often! I loved to go to the big lake, but so missed my parents being closer so that I could spend time with them! Thnak you Lord for this move and may they continue to be a wonderful presence in my life for years to come!

Pat's mom took this picture after milking the cows one morning shortly after we were married.

Typical old camera quality - this was after we were done milking the cows with the baby calves... with dairy calves...they are taken off of their mothers at birth so that you and I can drink the milk...they start out on a big bottle and then graduate to pails of milk. That was one of my jobs out there as well as giving each cow some protein to eat while Pat was moving down the line milking them. I also would help undo the headgate when he was done so that they could go out of the barn. Pat of the time I would sit on an upside down pail and watch him milk the cows and sometimes we would visit. I married a farmer and I found these times special to the point that when Ruth was born - I would bring her over and put her strapped in her infant seat close to the heater in the milk house... she was born Jan 4, 1980... Soon my in laws told me to bring her in the house and put her in the bed with them while I helped Pat... Ruthie got to know her grandparents really well and has early memories of waking up and seeing a certain light fixture over their bed and the warm feelings that go with snuggling with her loving grandparents morning after morning! They even took a movie of her first steps dressed in different outfits day after day that we have never seen! Got to do that someday! The early years were special for many!

Pat comes to visit me in the Cities as things slow down a bit on the farm - cross country skiing...

This picture was taken by my younger sister, Mary... she is now gone for 24 years due to cancer at the age of 28! Pat had come to visit me and we decided for him to wear one of my brother's boots and try cross country skiing for the first time! The boots were too small, but when Pat Verly is motivated to do something... nothing will prevent him! Boy, have I learned that to be a huge part of him after almost 32 years of marriage! He also likes to be rough and tumble and caused this fall to get some bodily contact and to tussle with me! Thank goodness for soft snow to fall in! The dating years were long distance and due to the demands of the farm - we dated maybe once every few weeks when he could certainly not every night or even once a week... at the busy times of the year it was even less, but Pat was very good about calling me on the phone and having long conversations about our lives... he gave me many lessons on the farm life in the middle of the nigh... when he would wake me up after he got in from work! I knew that when that phone would ring that it was my farmer! The thing about farming... similar to the Catholic Church... you never learn it all...there is always more to learn and my Patrick is very intelligent and very interested in it all!

I like to call this picture taken at our first Christmas....married 4 months....THE LOOK OF LOVE!

Her name Hallel means Joy- Halleluia.... she reflects that inner joy when she is singing...

Little Sister Hallel has shared that when others say her name they are praising God with the highest of praise and Joy! There are many Hallel psalms including the last 5 psalms - 145 thru 150 and the grand Hallels are in the center of the psalms. the word means tall in French also and Hallel being much taller than most...this is humorous to the community! As a mother I am happy for her choice to be with the community of the lamb to see her happiness and joy... her face lights up in a way that cannot be anything but genuine happiness!

Finally I leave the nest!

I loved being with my family so much that finally after I had become an nurse - 4 years of college and lived at home... got a job at Hennipen County Medical center on the Neurolgoy station... and just went along day to day at home with my family including 10 yonger siblings... One day my mom asked me if I had ever thought of getting my own place... Oh, I tought... that is maybe something I should think about. I then rented a third floor of a house just a block from my parents' home. It was great! Close to my beloved family...yet my own place!

John with Bertha at the State Fair a few years back

Bertha took reserve champion with her calf in the cow-calf division a couple times for John at the State Fair... You can always count on Bertha! 4 H was a wonderful thing for our kids... It was the one time that they learned about livestock on a day to day basis with their dad. They also learned a lot of life skills including how to present themselves in front of people... this has developed into John's future wishes for a life profession... Ag and presenting himself to large groups of people however that all comes together... Lord hear our prayer for a long and bright future for John with you always number one in his life!

Two 5 month losses - both boys born after John - buried at the cemetary

William and John would have been very close in age - about 14 months... I went in for my 5 month check up and the heartbeat couldn't be found... an ultrasound revealed that he had died... I had some scary miscahrriages, so the thought of carrying him til I "lost" him was terrifying to me. I went through a 5 month abortion procedure to deliver my son. I had a postagladin suppository inserted and went through a horrible experience with pain and chills to deliver our tiny son,William. I held him wrapped in a blanket, and Pat and I shed tears at what could have been. It was winter and the ground was frozen...we took him home in a small box and put it in the freezer.. So hard to open it and face him and have the memories and tears come flooding me again. About two years later the same thing unexplainably happened... We lost Robert the same time and way... "It looks like his cord is fatally kinked." It was earth shattering to face another loss of a son and brother for John here on this earth... WE know that we have these children to be united with someday! These and the other 4 lost along the jounrney of our "nest". I feel that they were both the best and the worst years of my life! How I prayed that the Lord would give me one more child after John so that the world would see visible truth that "no, we were't just trying for our boy and that is why we ended up with 5 children! We were open to family!" Yet I am flooded with peace and even joy to know that all our children are with us whether here on earth and in heaven! I have named each of my children in heaven... Christopher lost between Ruth and Nancy, Thomas lost when my sister Mary died of Lymphoma in 1986, Joseph lost before John, William and Robert lost at 5 mo after John, and Mary lost at 3 1/2 mo in 1994. The prayer for them of their mother is a powerful experience for me as I remember them daily and many times feel that they are up there keeping me on the straight and narrow as much as possible. All I know is that I must need a lot of help to have that small spiritual army in heaven....

John and his 4 sisters.... When asked the family he wants someday... "I want 4 girls and a boy!'

Our 9 precious grandchildren, with another one on the way

I got a call today from daughter number 3 that I needed to update my grandchildren picture - the number had doubled since... So here are the 9 together with Hallel when she visited in April. Ruth has 4 with another on the way - Simon age 8, Mary age 7, David soon to be 5, and Rose 13 months. Nancy has Augustine 2, and Bernadette 7 months. Maria has 3 children... Therese 5, David 3, and Patrick 8 months! So this is almost a complete picture except for Maria's two losses due to miscarriage, who are in heaven. We love all life we have been blessed with here and in heaven, and pray for each daily. Guardian Angels watch out for them. Jesus, we Trust in YOU.

An interesting fact about the cows and calves in the pastures... Cow trails...

These two pairs are demostrating how they all walk in the same path or trail...If you look on the other side of the hill above them you can see a cow trail that they use on that side of the pasture. When you go out and walk in the pasture... you will see these paths that are very much used to the point that they are deep and there is no grass growing in them just like a well used people trail gets to be. On a very steep hill there can be teraces of many cow trails along the side where they will go single file like these two moms with their calves following along behind... I did see some of the calves get tired of the slow pace and run ahead, but it is obvious, when you see the trails,that the cows use them for the most part to get from one place in the pasture to another. How my husband loves to see them out there in the lush grass getting fat off of the grass that grows where no crops can due to the up and down land or the creeks that run through them and are also important for the cows and calves to get the water they need just like every living creature! My husband's idea of a romantic evening is to go out on the 4 wheeler or the pickup to look at the cows and calves in the 6 different pastures that we have! The kids have fond memories of going out to look at the cows in the back of the pickup - great vacation/family time!

It doesn't get much cuter than this - Ruth Ida Rose with a forever remembered baby kitty...

The Net team stops by as they come to the end of their year of serving Catholic Youth!

Our nephew, Sam Cross, has taken a year out of his life to work on the National Evagelical Team - they are Catholic Youth in their late teens and early 20s that travel the country in a van giving retreats to youth everywhere! Their homebase in St Paul, but they have traveled from coast to coast this last year and they themselves are from many places in the country and even a girl from Netherlands! In the picture Sam is standing all the way to the left by John. He lived with us a summer and learned about the farm and was in 4 H and FFA here. He showed cattle and pigs at the county fair and then went up to the State Fair with his projects and then worked in the Miracle of Birth barn for a couple of summers. Sam is a special nephew! He also has done many TEC retreats after he said yes to our request that he make a retreat and absolutely fell in love with TEC! Now he has taken it a step further in serving on this traveling retreat team with his guitar and wonderful joyful spirit... touching many youth along with the 10 youth that are on the team with him. Just before this picture was taken... Sam had given them rides back and forth on the loader to "see" the cows and farm scenes... Sitting to the far right of the tractor in the loader bucket is a girl from Minnesota named, Sarah. We struck up a conversation in the kitchen while I was cleaning up after the meal that we had shared... She started the conversation by asking me if I had always lived in Mn... I thought that I would wow her by starting off by saying; "No, actually I was born in Boston, Mass!" Her reply; "So was I!" That was a start of the most amazing give and take between us! We share so much in common and mostly I thought that she was probably me about 40 years ago when I was a new Catholic and so in love with EVERYTHING about the Catholic Church! She shared that her family of 4 girls and one boy and both of her parents converted from Episcopal to Catholic and why would you belong anywhere but the True Church!? ! Wow! I was blown away to meet someone on this long journey I have been on that is at the same place I was at that age! All of these youth are so amazing and I hope and pray and am really confident that they have touched deeply and positively many youth on their trek across the country! I asked the girl from Netherlands about the Catholic Church in her country... I have heard that it barely exists any more and she agreed that only the old attend church and otherwise those that are Catholic like her go with their families at EAster and Christmas... her friend told her that she would do the NET as she had done ahead of her and now a young person is returning to this country without God... filled with love and knowledge of her Church - Jesus and His Mother - It was a wonderful hour and a half and gave me so much hope for the Church and how the grassroots are strong and spreading our faith far and wide! Thank you Lord for all the work that is taking place in your church and please continue to use me and all those that are listening to and answering your call! Amen and Halleluia!

John the actor and his love of the stage and being in front of people - It was a fun ride!

This was John doing the "She thinks my tractor is attractive" skit for Arts In at the county fair in 4H a few years back... It is just so fun to see him in his element and it always amazed us to see how relaxed he was up there. Not like any of the rest of us! Now he hopes to take that love of the stage and put it along with his Ag background into some type of a job for his future... It will certainly be interesting to follow along and now with a year overcoming brain cancer and all that has meant for him... it has certainly taken him to a deeper and more compassionate place... We all await what the future will bring... Thank you John for all the FUN we have had following you as you share the joy with us on stage! It has been a fun ride! Jesus we know that you are in control of John's life and have a wonderful plan just for him! Jesus we trust in You!

Oh happy day! Another fun time with John...

First with a talent show at the Catholic School doing...Oh happy day from Sister Act and then again for 4 H share the fun... Finally with chior robes that we found at the Thrift store and with his sister, Maria, and cousins, Sam and Phil Cross... we enjoy the fun at Christmas camp. John even put it on for Easter when we went to visit Maria in the monastery. We shared a meal through the enclosure and John did the entertainment for all of us by putting on a chior robe and lip sincing.... Oh happy day for all of us... it was great entertainment that was good over and over!

He who follows me will not walk in darkness but will have the light of life. Jn 8:12

I came across this inside of a long letter that our daughter, Maria, had written daily to share her experience with us as she went from a Poor Clare Monastery in Sauk Rapids, Mn to one close to Washington DC... It was so hard to think that she could go so far away to a cloistered monastery... where we would have to go and see her there and never get a hug as she would be in the "enclosure". It was to the point of her entering and the mother superior asked her to write a letter saying that this was the right thing for her to do... she couldn't write it and was back home! We were shocked and amazed! After saying goodbye to her life... she returned and embraced it! I will never forget her out helping put the cows and calves out to pasture and saying how wonderful it was to be out there... Now that was a miracle! So often on this journey we have been weak, depressed, scared and lost... The image of Jesus picking up the weak lost lamb is so often coming to me... This is wonderful to be able to share here with all of you that are upholding us in prayer!

A miracle! We make it to France in the midst of John's brain cancer and after a brain biopsy!

One of my favorite pictures from France...Susan helping John walk through the rain down a path at Saint-Pierre. They have always had a close relationship... Susan was 3 1/2 years older than John... I lost two pregnancies between them and it was never kept from the kids... we all grieved together at the losses. Susan was thrilled with her little brother from day one. She was constantly caring for him and watching out for him. We have a family story that Susan saved John's life... I will save that for a later date to share. John discovered in France that he could walk at a normal speed leaving his walker behind and having someone under his weak side. I think that he enjoyed the closeness also. We were in France and it was totally due to prayer!

The way of the cross - Cancer strikes our 20 year old son!

John at Lourdes with his two sisters... LS Hallel in the habit she had just received as a new member of the community of the Lamb and Nancy. From the back as they support their brother it looks like he is on the cross. After the news about two months earlier that he had brain cancer and then the ataxia on his left side as a result of the biopsy they had to do to diagnose it... It certainly a cross like no other we could have ever imagined! Beyond our wildest nightmares! Just the day before we left for France he was able to get to the bathroom by himself for the first time! We could go to France to see his sister join the community, and go to Lourdes and bath in the miraculous and healing waters under the watchful care of our most Blessed Virgin Mother of God... Mary Most Holy! John truly turned from a heavy heart to one of hope at this point in the journey.

Little Sister Hallel here for Thanksgiving and spent a week with John.

A group shot over at Ruth and Paul's place... Little Sister Hallel - Susan here for a week. Took John back and forth to radiation, and we then had a family Thanksgiving up in the Cities with her other two sisters that live in ST Paul... Getting ready to head back to Kansas City. That is where she is living for the next year in the only community here in the US... Community of the Lamb... pictured are from left to right... Paul Lanoue, Ruth Lanoue, Little Sister Hallel, her dad Pat and John Verly. In front Mary with her kitty Purrrrrrs.