The long awaited meeting...

A nice warm day with the snow starting to melt a bit... the kids bundled up after lunch, and Mary with great confidence led her mom and the two two year olds, Therese and David, out to see her Snowball... "there she is mom... looking for me on the hill!"

Slowly and carefully they look at each other, and recognize each other... Mary is allowed to reach out and stroke her nose... now it is OK for the others to come closer, and to meet for the first time the heifer that Mary talks about so fondly!

Even Therese, who was very scared and crying in the past when she came out to see the calves... seems calm and trusting.... if Mary is not afraid, and shows her how gentle the calves are... Therese can be brave too!  It helps to have a hold of Aunt Ruthie's hand too!

Mary helps her little brother reach out to Banana... another fair calf that is tame and spent time over at their house this summer... getting washed in the wash rack and led around by a halter!  It is really fun to see them recognize the kids and come up to have their nose touched... I try to put myself in their small boots as they look into the eyes of these big and black creatures!

"Good to see you again... friend.  Until we meet again on the next sunny and warm day... that we come out to enjoy some furry friends..."

"Now this is a furry friend that we can really get up close and personal with"...Just the right size for two 2 year olds to get their arms around, and sandwich in snowsuit love!  "Now lets slide down the big piles of snow in the yard!"

"Trusting Abandonment" - Feast day of the Holy Innocents!

Pregnancy checking of the cows is always at least a month sooner... never has the snow been an issue in the 22 years that we have had this family job... Thanksgiving weekend has always been the date, and this year with our road trip out East - Pennsyvania - it is now between Christmas and New Years and it is the day!  All the snow in the working area has to be moved by shovel... so much work and trouble... An afternoon of shovel work... thankfully today is close to freezing... a balmy 27 degrees - and the time to begin is at the height of the sun - 1p... all is going ahead in preparation! 

This will be a new experience and I am sure that a once in a lifetime thing... It will not make us try to do this again... As the vet said about doing it now... "the window is closing", and for a lesser determined person than my husband - the resident farmer- it might have been closed, but he is prying it open for one last time...  It well certainly, be an adventure... there is never a shortage of those around here! 

A family supper and game night even though some of us were less than enthusiastic....With so many people... it is OK for the weary ones to join the little ones that have crashed on grandma's bed...All is allowed, and our weaknesses and faults are forgotten and forgiven... Thank you, Lord!

Reading some amazing quotes of Venerable John Paul II today - "As Christians, we know that for us prayer is as essential as breathing, and once we have tasted the sweetness of intimate conversation with God, we do not hesitate to immerse ourselves in it with trusting adandonment."  Too amazing!  How wonderful to "know" our loving and forgiving Lord in such a powerful and personal way... prayer has truly beome as every breath that I take and every beat of my heart!

Today is the feast of the Holy Innocents!  As my husband was saying at breakfast/morning prayer with John and my daughter, Maria and her husband and children... "This is such a hard Gospel for me... weren't the Jews looking for the Messiah. and isn't Herod a Jew... why would he try to kill God come to earth? "  This is what power can do to a person!  But to take the lives of the tiny innocent ones... 2 years old and under... that is what shocks and apalls me... but then abortion is also in that same category to me... how can these tiny helpless children that in some cases could survive outside the womb, be murdered and killed in cruel and horrible ways - torn limb from limb or pulled partially into the birth canal and have the brains sucked out of their skulls!  I am sorry to be graphic, but it is that horrible in partial birth, and it is a fact that an abortinoist that had done thousands of abortions was watching one of the first ultasounds during an abortion... he watched the baby try to get away from the suction tool and silently scream realizing that this was going to grab it and pull it apart... yes, they feel pain just as you and I do!

Watching this transformed and changed him in the deepest truths of his life... He stopped doing abortions and showed this reality of what is happening to the "holy innocents" in the womb as they are treated without love or respect and are murdered to supposedly make the lives easier for the mother... yet,so many never recover and suffer from post abortion syndrome... always regretting and filled with guilt and regret! 

Such a powerful change did this man undergo - that eventually he went from a non practicing Jew to a Catholic in the conversion that he experienced as he watched a helpless innocent be slaughtered in the name of convenience!  As he spoke to the world the truth - he realized that there is only one institution that upholds the value of life across the board and with no reservations... The Catholic Church! 

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bernard_Nathanson ... I just googled this man that I have been speaking of and gained some amazing info about him and his life... this is the link...

Singing the opening hymn today to morning prayer... What child is this... the second verse was so powerful...

"Why lies he in such mean estate,

Where ox and ass are feeding?

Good Christians, fear, for sinners here

The silent Word is pleading.

Nails, spear shall pierce him through,

The cross be borne for me, for you.

Hail, hail, the Word made flesh,

The Babe, the Son of Mary."

We cannot get away from the Cross and the pain and the suffering... even just days after the warm and fuzzy birth of our sweet infant savior!  But was it truly warm and fuzzy?  He was born in a barn and slept for his first bed in a manger that the animals ate out of!  His father tried desperately to find a room in an Inn for his wife about to give birth and Joseph knew that this was to be the Messiah - God with us!  Too hard and crazy for him to trust and to settle for the only shelter he could find...a barn!  A barn filled with animals and smells and what we will be walking and working in today - their waste!  We will all come in cold and dirty and need to shower! 

In talking to Hallel - Nancy shared with me about her simple conditions of living with no heat where she sleeps.. no it is not Minnesota with our frigid temps, but she asked Nancy to send her some warm socks and long Johns to sleep in.... She shared that the sleeping bag that she had taken with her had broken, so I think that it was wise for her dad to get her a warm one that is good for 20 degrees... then Nancy asked her about her bathing..."She told me that all she does is wash her feet in the unheated water and that they get cold, but warm up after some moving around and walking."  No hot shower in the morning for her... I think that they can heat the water they use for a "Sister Shower" - using a bucket in a shower stall in a heated building... Poverty is truly embraced by them, and I think that they can have real empathy for Joseph, Mary and the Babe!

Look up and see the cats on their perch!  Therese calling to them gets them to look, but not to come to her!  Grandma has to lift them out one by one... only to have them return shortly! 

Hold on tight, Therese! 

They have adjusted one to the other...  Now to the burning question of why we have to jump to the cross already!  "In the Christ child, we see foreshadowed the suffering Savior.  In the murdered children of Bethlehem, first of many martyrs, we see foreshadowed the futile effort of the power of sin and death to destroy the true power that will bring it to destruction,through the power that lies hidden in a child."  See http://www.magnificat.com/

Psalm 8    We hooted when we read the part about the cattle as today is a big family job with our cattle...  "How great is your name , O Lord our God,  through all the earth!  Your magesty is praised above the heavens:  on the lips of children and of babes you have found praise to foil your enemy...What is man that you should keep him in mind, mortal man that you should care for him? 

"Yet you made him little less than a god; with glory and honor you crowned him, gave him power over the works of your hand, put all things under his feet.  All of them, sheep and cattle, yes, even the savage beasts, birds of the air, and fish that make their ways through the waters.  How great is your name, O Lord our God, through all the earth!"  Psalm 8

This is our "savage beast"... it is a battle around here with them usually winning!      "The barbaric case of 'mistaken identity' becomes the source of incomparible exaltation for the Holy Innocents.  For there is no greater glory than for a person to be mistaken for Christ himself.  Perhaps the Lord had this in mind later in life when he declares that only those who change and become like little children can enter the kingdom of God.  In our childlikeness, we are most like Jesus Christ.  The blood of the Son Jesus that cleanses us from all sin begins to reach us and transform us today in a powerful way through the blood of the martyred Holy Innocents."

Speaking with my son in law, Joseph, about the loss of my many children in the course of 6 pregnancies... the pain returned and I was weeping!  How much more for the mothers and fathers that lost their cherished male children from 2 yo to newborn at this time in our Christian history..  how hard for Joseph to leave behind so many that would have to lose their precious sons, without warning them too... To know that they are the first martyrs did not give them peace while in this world but only later in heaven when they were reunited and could "see"the divine plan!  I too, can see that altough my 6 are not with me here...it is the Lord's plan for my salvation for them to be in heaven praying for me and turning my heart, mind, spirit...drawing me heavenwards...  Thank you Lord!  You know how much I need that for my salvation! 

The activity of the house continues to draw me away from this intense sharing today!  Soon I will be the caretaker of the 5 grandkids while my daughters join their dad, brother and husbands out in the cold and snow to do this family job!  I will pile the kids in the sled and go to check out the scene with camera in hand... Therese is talking a tea party, and an adventure with Mary going out to intoduce her to Snowball the heifer! 

Nothing goes to waste -the dogs are always willing to devour the left over food!  A few more pearls from the meditation of the day written by Francois Mauriac (1970)...won the Nobel Prize in Literature and is acknowledged as one of the greatest Roman Catholic writers of the 20th century -  "The Mystery of the Holy Innocents"

"We cannot hold this Child responsible for the incomprehensible creation which he came to save but which, since hell-fire will continue throughout eternity, he did not save completely.  Though Infinite, he has been swallowed up in a finite that is pock-marked with crimes.  He establishes his claim in this world with two crossed pieces of wood; yet in the name of the cross, millions of martyrs and executioners have been raised up....

Therese showing grandma the scapular that she got from her parents for Christmas... She knows that her parents and her Godmother, Hallel, wear them... "We know that Mary and Jesus are always with us and this helps us to remember that always." her mother explains to her and I - we both agree with that!  Therese shows me the cross that represents- "Jesus."  Next she shows me a medal that is to remind her of Mary too! Too amazing and special! 

"people have been burned at the stake, crusades and wars have been unleashed, and human beings have been dominated by inhuman laws.  The gentle Child shivers in the cold on the edge of a criminal world while angels promise peace to men of good will - a peace that can be discovered only after a full measure of suffering; but in the shadows of his birthplace Herod's soldiers sharpen their knives for a slaughter of the innocents that will apparently never end."  Francois Mauriac

Therese showing me her elbow... Jesus, Mary and Joseph...the Holy Family continues to be very close to us.. we see that there is not all sweetness and light as you came into this difficult and hard world!  Through the hardships of each day we learn to look to you and know that we are loved and forgiven and given the strength we need to go forward and serve those that you have given us in this lfe!  How did your lowly manger in a barn turn into a cross so quickly?  Life and its pain is a mystery - give us the strength that we need to find the joy of your resurrection and LIFE!  Jesus, we trust in you!  Amen and Halleluia!

Bless-bless, Barb

Fond barn memories of years past - 1982... soon to have Nancy Anna...

"The world and the events of history cannot be understood  without professing faith in the God who is at work in them.  Faith sharpens the inner eye, opening the mind to discover the workings of providence in the flux of events."  Venerable John Paul II

 

A well that never runs dry!

 

In this tired state of mind and body after working the night shift... I will apologize ahead for the content today... it will probably be fairly disjointed as I feel a bit in a fog...

I am returning to some of the many pictures I have taken over the holiday... I haven't used these exact ones, but others that are similar... I guess that it shows just how much I cherish the amazing times we have shared!

Nancy and Bill have returned to their home and jobs... Pat and John are out scooping out the headgate area getting ready to preg check the cows a month later than usual... it has always been done over the Thanksgiving holiday - when we had all the kids home from college to help out and hopefully hit some fairly nice weather.  But with going to Penn for the wedding celebration... it got put off til now!  It will be interesting to see how the deep snow and the cold will enter into this... it will be memorable and probably reinforce how important it is to do it on Thanksgiving and not Christmas/New Years!

I took many of the 5 with baby Jesus, and they were all a bit on the fuzzy side... think of them as just softened for effect...              I always wonder when I will run out of things to write about on this sharing.  I have been publishing what I have written so far, and it adds up to many books and quite heavy to carry around.  How can I keep sharing?

Yes, there are the themes that I write about often and share probably the same thing over and over from different angles, or maybe just over and over...  There is my story of my journey of faith that fills me with wonder and comes out often.  There is my feeling about Church and Family and Farm life that I dwell on often.  But also I read daily the morning and evening prayers in the Magnificat - see http://www.magnificat.com/  - it also contains the mass readings for the day along with the prayers and antiphons.

This is hugely educational for me and fills me with the wonder and what might appear to be wisdom about what is being "celebrated" in our amazing Church throughout the world that day!  For instance, I just wished John a happy feastday, because today is the feast of St John the Evangelist - the one who is responsible for the glorious Gospel of John as well as I, II and III John, and Revelation!  How he loved and saw the Savior of the World through the Love and Light that he brought into the world! 

Maria always has her kids kneel, and thank Jesus, and speak directly to him after mass... a touching moment, and really allowing Therese to become aware, at her tender age - 2 1/2 yo- that we have just encountered our Lord and Savior in a very personal and powerful way in the Eucharist!  He will be a close and personal friend to her.. when she is in second grade and can receive her first communion!  "I have spoken to him every day after mass." she will be able to say!  I have shared often that my kids are teaching me about my faith and taking me deeper and deeper!

In all this rambling that I forewarned you about... I am trying to say that as I approach this much beloved sharing with you... that rather than scraping for something to share... there are so many things that are filling my heart and mind and spirit!  I today have words of Venerable JPII filling me with wonder - a book called Lessons of Living by him and a gift for teaching religion... every small and gorgeous pearl of wisdom makes me want to share and reflect on and on!  Then I have a book with profound refections for each day of the year by Pope Benedict XVI!  Benedictus is the name of that one... It also was a gift from one of our Godsons! 

I think you have already noticed many more of his amazing quotes... Then there is all the Magnificat gives to me each and every day!  There are so many ways that I want to share... the Church blows my  mind and fills me with such deep joy and excitement!  I do not feel overwhelmed, but sometimes like I could go on and on and jump from one topic to another!  I must admit that Family is my main thing and all that family can encompass... The issue of Life is huge here!

There was an amazing sharing in the meditation yesterday for the feast of the Holy Family by Mother Elvira Petrozzi - foundress of the Comunita Cenacolo- welcoming the lost and desperate in 62 houses in 15 countries...

"The family, the precious pearl which is the richness of every human being...Each of us has a desire in his heart to become a family...It is an essential and fundamental need, natural to us, which each one of us has inside, a need to see ourselves in the gaze, smile, and reception of another person.  It begins with a true friendship, rooted in purity,without hidden intentions.  Slowly, it is transformed into attraction and dialogue, developing into a selfless, gratuitous love, then it becomes a spousal love.  A true vocation to matrimony is formed by the truth of a peaceful and loving dialogue with God,which is extended and developed in the couple...

"Spouses have to give life to each other, sacrificing the many small and big acts of self-interest.  Only then can they conceive a child or ten children in joy, in hope, and in true love.... Even if the journey is an uphill climb at the beginning, we know it can be done if we know how to stay on our knees facing the One who speaks to us, who comforts us, who lifts up and who is in the voice of our conscience. 

"If we let Christ dwell in us, He can heal our wounds, transform our fragility, and illumine our hearts and minds with the Light of his truth. He will melt the deepest "me" to recreate our new "us," original, unique, and unrepeatable.  This, then, is the Christian family.  WE will then find the inner balance and harmony, which will help to draw out the paternity and maternity in each one of us...We are certain that, as the Holy Father says, 'The Christian family is the center and heart of the civilization of love.' "

From my vantage point of 32 years married... I think that Mother has a lot of beauty and wisdom here, and I know for a fact that without the faith and the sacrifice that is required to hold a marriage together... and I must say that the family we share... is the mortal between the blocks that build our domestic Church!   Our children give us much joy, and to share with them as they are building their lives is deeply powerful, and give us much to hope, and pray, and love and worry/trust about! 

For Pat and I to have the strength we have gained from the examples of both of our families, and the parents that showed us how to form a family... that is solid in faith and love, and always cherishing each child as a gift from God, and a living part of our sacrificial love! 

The distractions of life are burying me and so I am called to leave this sharing for today... Dear Holy Family... how we long to find that happiness that only our faith in you can provide for us...  Thank you for the wisdom and beauty of this amazing work of art - the Faith Filled Family!  May we paint our portrait always looking at the model the Holy Family has set for us with all the colors and light of glory!  We fall on our knees and ask for you to fill us with the love and strength that we need!  Jesus, we trust in you!  Amen and Halleluia! 

Yes, there are those difficulties in life that make it a challange, but we must accept and serve one another with a smile... Bless-bless, Barb

"Beloved: What was from the beginning, what we have heard, what we have seen with our eyes, what we looked upon and touched with our hands concerns the Word of life - the the life was made visible; we have life that was with the Father and was made visible to us - what we have seen and heard we proclaim now to you, so that you too may have fellowship with us; for our fellowship is with the Father and with his Son, Jesus Christ.  We are writing this so that our joy may be complete." I John 1: 1-4  First reading from mass today...St John ... evangelist of the incarnation- pray for us!

"The family is the privileged setting where every person learns to give and receive love." Pope Benedict XVI

Once again reminded of the beauty of family coming together... Pat, the middle of 10 children, means that  there is once again a large loving and joyful bunch... sharing wonderful food and catching up with each other's lives... we are blessed unbelievable by FAMILY! 

I will be working overnight at the nursing home, and have a quiet window in my house, as they are still at Pat's mother's house, and I just woke up from a nap...  I know not when I will be able to share with you tomorrow... I know that I will have to bid farewell to Nancy and Bill, when I get home from work... their long wonderful visit, and Bill's first Christmas... experiencing the craziness of our world, with the two huge families, that we both come from, as well as our ever expanding and young bunch!  So wonderful, and yes, sometimes a bit too much with the yelling, and screaming, and the kittens climbing in the Christmas tree!

We are having a postcard winter... the frost had clung to every tiny branch and pine needle and the white blanket of snow and the blue whispy sky... All I could do on the way "over the river and through the woods to grandmother's house" was exclaim over and over how breathtakingly beautiful this winter is! 

We arrived to grandma's house to have Little Sister Hallel on the phone... calling us all from far away France! WE all got to talk to her except for Ruth, who was working across the street as a nurse at the hospital!  She did get off early to come and have a wonderful meal and see everyone!  So great to talk to Susan/Hallel... we all felt that she was happy and in a good place and that it certainly helps to talk to her earlier in the day - 7p-8p her time - noon our time!  Nancy, who got to talk to her first said that for once she sounded rested!

She told us to our delight that she had gotten her box on Dec 24th and had just opened it today!  It was so great to know that it had arrived on time!  But most of all we all were so happy to have our turn to speak with her... even Grandma Verly had a chance to hear her happy and excited voice!

Hallel shared a cute story with me... "Mom, do you remember Helen?  She received her habit at the same time that I did?  Well, when you send reeses peanut butter cups... she has discovered that she loves them!  When she saw my box arrive... she kept saying that she just knew that there would be some in there and today when I opened it and she saw that there were some in there... She exclaimed; 'Thanks be to God!' "   She must be pretty confident that Hallel will share her wealth with her! 

Nancy is getting her kid fix while here... She is realizing that her time of taking them or leaving them is quickly coming to an end!  She has had some practice in mothering, but your own 24-7 is definitely a bit more extreme than what she is used to...

Little 2 1/2 year old Therese gets to speak to her Godmother in France!  She had made her many pictures and labored over many "letters" that we included in Hallel's box that arrived, thankfully, the day before Christmas!  WE wondered what she kept saying "No" to her Godmother...

Hallel told Maria that she had been asking her if she could pray for her... I am sure that mommy reminds her to pray for her at bedtime, but sometime all of us need to be reminded to pray one for the other...we were surprised when we were in Rome and would meet priests and religious... we would ask them to pray for us and they in return would quickly ask for our prayers!  Just a good reminder that no matter how holy our lives appear to be... we still need those prayers! 

Little Therese is a delight to her Godmother!  Hallel loves the little ones, and I know that it is a hardship for her not to be able to be here and to share with them... She would have beamed ear to ear, and laughed, and clapped her hands to hear her little 6 year old Simon march around the dinner table singing ..."Happy Birthday, Jesus! Happy Birthday, Jesus!  Halleluia! Christ is born!" 

She also would love to see the two year olds having some hug time in the midst of their running around and playing... A grandma has learned to always have the camera open, and on my lap, to grab the quick and special moments... this will have to part of Susan/Hallel's next card... I must add many pictures to illustrate them for her... I know that she is not allowed to keep them very long, but at least she can have a glimpse of our life here without her physical presence here with us!

Mary telling Hallel about her new experience with preschool in her life!  John is waiting to say goodbye to his special Sue... he loves her and misses her, and looks to her to help him with advise in things that he is facing in his life... I wish that I would have been listening in on all of their conversations, but they each got their own time with her... the best gift we each could have had today!

Simon got to talk about tractors with his super hero and model farmer - Uncle Eddie!  I gave Simon a John Deere - tractor - calendar for the wall in his room. Not only can he study a new tractor every month, but he can write down things about the farm - like days that he rides in the combine or planter or sprayer wtih Uncle Eddie!  I am sure that grandpa would like to look at it to remind him about when they are doing things on the farm...

Ruth got to come over to share in the day... put on call after they were down to just a few patients on the floor... Little David was happy to see her as was her hubby, Paul! 

Home for some rest... the beauty of the frosty world made me once again try to capture the beauty of this white and frosty winter!  I was thrilled to read some amazing truths about family shared by Pope Benedict..."The family is an intermediate institution between individuals and society, and nothing can completely take its place... The family is a necessary good for peoples, an indispensable foundation for society and a great and lifelong treasure for couples.  It is a unique good for children, who are meant to be fruit of the love, of the total and generous self-giving of their parents...

"The family is also a school which enables men and women to grow to the full measure of their humanity..."  He also shares this prayer for our families..."O God, who in the Holy Family left us a perfect model of family life lived in faith and obedience to your will, help us to be examples of faith and love for your commandments."  Pope Benedict XVI

Holy Family... there is so much filling us with gratitude, after all the celebrations, that include those that you have blessed us with to share our journey in life with... our families!  We see that for us that have wonderful and supportive and listening to your voice - families... are so lucky to "know You" through their love and faith!  For all those that do not know that love and forgiveness and support... allow us to reach out to them and to know that the poor and suffering are... you in our midst... the poor and the lonely that we are called to serve and to clothe and to feed and to love! Give us the strength and the ability to love as you did! Jesus, we trust in you! Amen and Halleluia!

Bless-bless, Barb..................."Make us, Lord, worthy to serve our brothers and sisters who are scattered all over the world, who live and die alone and poor.  Give them today, using our hands, their daily bread.  And, using our love, give them peace and happiness.  Amen."  Blessed Teresa of Calcutta

"And let the peace of Christ control your hearts, the peace into which you were also called in one body.  And be thankful.  Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly, as in all wisdom you teach and admonish one another, singing psalms, hymns and spiritual songs with gratitude in your hearts to God. And whatever you do in word or in deed, do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him."  Colossians 3:  12-21