Out to see the boys and all the graves dressed up for the weekend of memories...

Pat, John and I just had a slow stroll through the cemetary in the car.  John said that he wanted to stop and see his brothers, and just on Friday after Bible school we had dropped off flowers to put on their stone at the foot of my in-laws.  The kids were interested in knowing about their mother's two brothers that are buried there as well as the other 4 that I lost.  They got home and said to Ruth - "We just went to see your two brothers at the cemetary, mom."  And Ruth responded with a "Yes."  That really touched me to realize that the kids do realize that they are missing the company of some siblings - 6-7 of them.  I have always realized that John spoke of them and missed them as he was in the midst of most of my losses.  The two boys buried at the cemetary are two boys that I carried for 5 months each.  I went in for my 5 month check up and there was no heartbeat, and so I delivered them by having a prostagladin supposity which induces labor, and is also used as an abortion procedure for later stage abortions!  I know personally the cramping and chills and then the delivery of my two boys dead with a fatal kink in each of their cords.  I held them, named them - William, who would have been just about 14 months younger than John, and Robert, who would have been about a year and a half later. 

Today Pat and I discussed that we should get our own headstone and move the boys to be with where we will be laid to rest.  That led into a really cool conversation about how we would make our headstone super Catholic with a 25 decade rosary and a crucifix with a corpus on it.  I kidded them saying that I wanted to have Blessed John Paul II on it with a monstrance with an actual host in it, and then John said that there should be a Eucharistic dispenser so that those visiting could receive communion.  Yes, we had fun getting carried away with our imagination of the most Catholic Faith/Family headstone we could come up with.  John asked how many of the kids I would list on the back or side or front... He thought that maybe the 5 on the front and the 6-7 losses on the side or back.  I think that they decided for me or helped me to see that with them it would be OK to name all 12 of my children!  That means so much to me and is super special that John would bring this up and support the idea even before I mentioned it.  I might have thought that it would be too outrageous to even give a thought to,but they both seemed to think that it was our headstone and our family whether here with us or in heaven and that we probably should include them in our family!  So wonderful to have these two men with me and encourging me in the way I look at LIFE/LOVE/LIGHT!  I am so excited to get on this project and am thrilled to see what the outcome will be!  There are some preciously lovely Catholic headstones to give me lots of wonderful ideas!  I so thought I would like to have Mary on our headstone, but the guys pointed out that having the rosary was a beautiful way to have her there in prayer!  So True!

Every time I share with our family the ones that we have to meet in heaven someday... it feels that we all get in touch with how we are called to come there and now we have very close family there to pray for us and embrace us with LOVE when we arrive there!  So exciting for me to also have the mystery of whether there will be 6 or 7, because one of my pregnancies there were possibly 2 sacks - that was Joseph, so with him I will add Paul to my litany of children that went ahead of me to heaven... Christopher, Thomas, Joseph, Paul, William, Robert, and Mary, pray for us! 

On this feastday of the Trinity and the great mystery of Faith and LOVE which is the 3 persons in ONE that makes up God - Father, Son and Holy Spirit.  This mystery is so amazing and mindblowing to know that there is so much LIFE related to our family in heaven and yet to be reunited with for eternity with the Father, Son and Holy Spirit!  Our Faith in this journey called LIFE/LOVE/LIGHT in our domestic Church/family with Christ and His glorious Bride showing us the Way, the Truth and the LIFE - The Church... is amazing, and wondrous, and glorious, and filled with awe and grace!  I am so blessed on this Memorial weekend to remember all the dead and to make great plans to make a resting place for the bodies of Pat and I that will speak of our great devotion to bringing LIGHTS into the world! 

Mary and I and the two little ones praying a decade of the rosary for mommy and the baby in front of the Mary statue by their house!

Jesus, such a day of sweet rememberances of LIFE and how we are called in finding our place with you in eternity by embracing our Most Cherished Cross and finding LIFE eternal!  We truly see this when we look to being reunited with our loved ones someday, and knowing of their prayers and LOVE for us now and always.  We need that help to get us through the difficult times of suffering and weakness.  May we turn to YOU and die to self as we love and serve those around us without counting the cost.  Jesus, we Trust IN YOU!  Amen and Halleluia

Bless-bless, Barb

"Brothers and sisters: Therefore, since we have been justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we gained access by faith to this grace in which we stand, and we boast in hope of the glory of God.  Not only that, but we even boast our afflictions, knowing that affliction produces endurance, and endurance, proven character, and proven character, hope, and hope does not disappoint, because the LOVE of God has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit that has been given to us." Romans 5: 1-5 The amazing second reading from mass today!

May you always love and find all the graces to persevere through Jesus, His Mother Mary Most Holy, and the True Church - little sweet Rose Ida!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PO_YUOAA1HU 

Danielle Rose singing - Small Things with Great LOVE! 

There are no more wondrous small things... LIFE/Children!

Two more poster babies - the world needs LIGHTS!

Garden in before June is here - Happy Birthday #2 Augustine!

In after 5 hours of putting the garden in - this has to be an all time late planting!  We are tired tonight and I think that John is going to remember next year to not be around, so it will be a lot less fun and a lot longer to get it in.  Thank you, John!!!  You lighten my load and make me laugh while I am feeling a bit overwhelmed by the whole job.  I love to have you around, and I am praying that you can find your path.

Two burly men - Verly men - tilling at the same time.  That soil was nicely worked.  It was nice to  have the help with this big family job.  The funny thing is that the family helps themselves to all our hard work, but we don't get much help in this end of the job.  Pat wants to provide all our homemade food for the girls and their families - even the ones in Texas.  It would be nice if they could start doing the work and I could just get some jars of nice homemade food from them.  Somehow this picture is a bit wrong. 

Well, I should have many good pictures of Augustine to share with my happy birthday wishes for him... He was a wonderful little boy to have and he sure loved the farm so much! 

We had some big adventures while he was here, and much warmer weather!

he loved hanging out with grandpa!

He was so happy when he could be with his sister, and he was so loving towards her.  He has loved and accepted her from the first day she joined the family!  Such a wonderful big brother!

You love your uncle Paul/Godfather!  He too farms and you got to ride in the big tractor and take a nap while it rolled over the field around our farm!

Making sure that Birdy was clean and not lonely while she had her bubble sink.

You mastered those farm boots and saying Cheese for grandma's pictures.  Good job, farmboy Gus!

Picture perfect - 2 year old behind the wheel of the bouncy seat tractor!

The sweetest and the best - that describes little sweet and good and loving Gus on his 2nd birthday!  WE love you and look forward to you coming back to the farm! 

Love that smile and the rosy cheeks - Jesus, hold Augustine close to your heart burning with love for him.  Jesus, we thank you for his sweet loving ways and love of the farm.  Jesus, we trust in YOU.  Bless-bless, Grandpa and Grandma Verly

"Let the children come to me..." Jesus

Time with the grandkids for the afternoon while Ruth and Paul went to see the heart doctor in Sioux Falls - her heart is fine, but we still have some unanswered questions, so continue to pray!  Today the Lord tells us how we are to come to be HIS and come into the Kingdom as a child!  When I was reading about how they were bringing children to Jesus so that He might touch them... I thought of my husband, Pat, and how he adores children and is always holding them and reaching out to them.  He loves them so much and has embraced them and held them and tended to their needs with great LOVE and devotion.  In Mark's Gospel today - "He embraced the children and blessed them, placing his hands on them."  Mark 10

Jesus, may we embrace LIFE and then raise LIGHTS to show the world your Truth - Jesus, we trust in YOU.  Bless-bless, Barb

Shared a decade of the rosary by Mary for mom and the baby.  Our Spiritual Mother, Mary Most Holy, brought LIFE into the world and is there to bring us to her Son with all of our needs - her special LOVE and concern is for LIFE! 

Jeus speaks to us about marriage in The Gospel - Mark 10

Not too many pictures of just Pat and I these days, but this is truly a picture of us - our family shows us to the world, and really reveals what makes us tic!  To see the girls each holding their newest baby from the last year - all 3 were expecting together!  And Hallel and John both looking to discern the Lord's call and direction in their lives.  This discovery of Christ's plan for them, is what we know will lead to true happiness and hence what we pray our kids will - listen to what Christ wants for them, and not what they selfishly want as dictated by the world.   Hallel shared on her home visit a month ago, that she knew the first day she joined her community of the Lamb that she had found where her spouse, Jesus, wanted her!  No, we don't live in a big communal home so that this is a day to day picture of Pat and I - our family.  It took a trip to Texas to pick up Maria and the kids and Hallel to come to the U.S. from France, and Nancy and John to come from the Cities... but there truly is someone in our home with us very often as we just had two grandkids for 1 1/2 weeks and now we have John in transition as he discerned that he is taking a year off from the seminary and finding a job.  We also farm with Ruth and Paul, and live just 3 miles apart, so they are here often and almost daily... especially at this time of year with the crop going in and all that happens in the spring on the farm.  And sharing our Faith is what brings us together although seperated by miles and even the ocean - as Hallel is back in France as of a week ago now!

To me this is a picture of Pat and I and our marriage much more than if it were an actual picture of the two of us together.  This speaks of the LIFE that we have always been open to, and the LIGHTS that we know we are to bring into the world - lighting the way for those that live in darkness!  "The way of God leads to wisdom, joy, light and life; the way of evil leads to foolishness, suffering, darkness, and death.  Let us live by God's law."  see www.magnificat.com

I have gone over this story in great detail in the page I devoted to our marriage... http://familysoulstory.blogspot.com/p/my-most-cherished-cross-patrick-gerard.html

It is nice to now have it on a page that can be found and read, as I share this main message of our LIFE with Christ in our sacrament of marriage often.  It is truly the Holy Spirit speaking to us in the Church that are asked to be open to LIFE/family!  The lies of the darkness are telling us that we are selfish to want to have a lot of children in this messed up world and probably not that fair to our children for them to have to share with so many... Wrong!!!  The world needs LIGHTS!  There are so many LIGHTS that are extinguished through the horror of taking the lives of innocent babies in abortion!  We need to bring the beauty of the Truth into the world and LIGHT in the darkness by being open to LIFE/family and raising them in the Faith of Jesus and His Bride, The Church!  The Church in her wisdom knows that this LOVE/LIFE/LIGHT that comes to us with our domestic Church/family is a small slice of heaven here on earth and is going to help us get to Heaven!  We are united in Faithful prayer and worship in the Sacraments, Saints, Angels, Sacramentals, Mary, and the Word of God, Jesus Christ!  There is so much in our Church to help us on our journey to Eternal LIFE/Heaven!  There is more than we can ever take in and we are always helped with one grace or another as we face all that comes to us on the journey carrying our Most Cherished Cross and following after HIM down the narrow path.  Our Cross becomes the Tree of LIFE and provides us with all the wonderful fruit to feed us and blossoms to bring glorious sanctity to our sorrows and pains that come with LIFE.

Just back from feeding my two calves a bottle - John was out watching for heat in the heifers in the pasture by the house.  He has the morning office on his smart phone, so we sat together on the 4 wheeler in the chilly breeze - watching the heifers and saying morning prayer together.  Super amazing to have this added dimension of Faith infusing into the bright green world of the pasture and the LIFE of those animals we are put in charge of on the farm - to take the steps needed to raise beef to feed the world! 

We started our prayer with singing from memory the Canticle of St Francis to song - Make me a Channel of your Peace... just the phrases that we knew by memory were so powerful to share as we sat together in the sun - the animals looked up at us, yet went about their own business of eating, laying in the sun, and nosing each other. 

Prayer of Saint Francis of Assisi

"Lord, make me an instrument of your peace.
Where there is hatred, let me sow love;
where there is injury,pardon;
where there is doubt, faith;
where there is despair, hope;
where there is darkness, light;
and where there is sadness, joy.

O Divine Master, grant that I may not so much seek
to be consoled as to console;
to be understood as to understand;
to be loved as to love.
For it is in giving that we receive;
it is in pardoning that we are pardoned;
and it is in dying that we are born to eternal life. Amen"  Lord, there is no better prayer than this one... hear our heartfelt prayer this day as we embrace our Most Cherished Cross in the Sacrament of marriage.  May we find Eternal LIFE through the Cross just as you showed us this Truth in your LIFE/Death/Resurrection- Paschal Mystery!  Jesus, we are yours as weak and sinful as we are - that is when we need you and turn to YOU and your reach for us with your unconditional LOVE and forgiveness.  Help us Lord to overcome our sin this day and choose the graces you give us to go forward and be LIGHTS to our world/domestic Church.  Jesus, we trust in YOU. Amen and Halleluia

Bless-bless, Barb

"But from the beginning of creation, God made them male and female.  For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.  So they are no longer two but one flesh.  Therefore what God has joined together, no human being should separate."  Mark 10: 1-12

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eOEAaySj6Ps  Danielle Rose singing Your Bride

David time... fast and curious

Dave relaxes while grandma watches the gate for grandpa.

Time with his buddies - the dogs

Fence climbing time

Asking questions on the tractor...

"look at that one!"

Gramdpa told him to watch out for the bull...

Fast ride on the 4wheeler!

Off to plant beans, and a nap for Dave after a crazy busy afternoon.

Holding on tight to our values in the midst of LIFE

Why do we hold onto our sins so much more easily and tenaciously than we do to our morals and values in LIFE?  The things that hurt us are always lurking on the edges and beseeching us away from the good we want to do.  I guess that is why we look at our journey as narrow, and winding, and uphill... as we climb the mountain of God to the Holy City/Heaven/The Lamb and His Bride/The Church!  It is a constant annoying yet dangerous battle that we are engaged in within ourselves and within this world of darkness.  A friend today on FB was asking about getting back into the dating scene, and how she should go about it other than "sites."  It shot a bolt of fear though me thinking about the things you are opening yourself up to when you put yourself out there like that.  I have watched my kids approach dating and looking for a spouse with great strength and dignity!  They have saved themselves for marriage, and looked for a man of strong Catholic faith, and loving towards LIFE and open to that in their marriage!  John is now out of the seminary for this next year, and yet he is not overly interested in looking for a woman to date.  "I might go back in and I just want to concentrate of seeing where the Lord wants me to work and check out what life holds for me.  I went from high school, to college, to cancer, and then back to college, and then seminary... I need to just have a life outside of all that to truly discern where the Lord wants me to be."  It was super exciting to listen to him having a conversation on the phone with an old high school friend last night and to hear how he has gained knowledge and confidence in sharing his faith with others in the last year.  He was speaking of Our Lady and her ability to take our needs to her Son - "She told him to make that wine at the Feast of Cana... she will take our needs to HIM and tell HIM our needs - "Whatever he tells you do it!"  she told the servants - us!

Our house was only empty for one night between having the two precious little ones here, and now John is home as he looks around for what he is needing to do for the next year of getting out into the world of day to day work and daily life.  It was very nice to share morning prayer this morning - the Magnificat with Pat and the office with John!  Wow!  That is getting off to a great start, and such a strong reminder of those morals and values that should be the center of my LIFE rather than those weaknesses and sins that are so easy to give in to.  I love that our house is always welcoming to our family and that they come and go often and when there is a need.  Tomorrow I will be having Ruth's kids while she goes to get her heart checked out in Sioux Falls.  There seems to be something going on that is not right, and with the baby's safety involved there is even more concern for the two of them!  Tomorrow at 2:30p please send up a prayer for them.  We just need to be reaasured that they are not in harm's way, and that this is not a forewarning of something else. 

Today in the Gospel are the powerful words of Jesus telling us that if some part of our body causes us to sin - we should cut it off and get rid of it!  Better to go to Heaven crippled than to go to Hell with both feet...  I think of John asking for Faith, half heartedly, and then getting struck with brain cancer and finding his faith as a "new John" crippled and unable to walk on his own after his brain biopsy left him without the ability to walk on his own!  For the story of this you can read it all on the page I devoted to John's cancer journey/stories - http://familysoulstory.blogspot.com/p/johns-cancer-stories.html

Jesus, may we take to heart your words this day - reminding us that those things and "parts of us" that cause us to sin should be cut off and thrown far away from us!  May we take this to heart and truly resist temptations that swirl around us each day!  May we take those times of sin and lay them at your loving and forgiving feet in the confessional.  Freed from the weight of sin - may we make every effort to hold onto The Truth of LIFE/LOVE/LIGHT which we find in the Wisdom/Holy Spirit that dwells within us.  May we look to YOU in your sacraments, and The Word of God!  May we find the strength to put on the armor of God and fight the battle for our eternal soul!  May we go limping into Heaven, O Lord.  As we rid ourselves of those parts of us that pull us away from YOU and our LIFE in your Truth!  "For when he first sees you seeking after him, and how you are totally waiting expectantly without ceasing for him, he then teaches and gives you true prayer, genuine love, which is himself made all things in you: paradise, tree of life,pearl, crown, builder, cultivator, sufferer, one capable of suffering, man, God, living water, lamb, bridegroom, warrior, armor, Christ, all in all."  Pseudo-Macarius (390) Jesus, we trust in YOU.  Amen and Halleluia

Bless-bless, Barb

New International Version (NIV)
The Armor of God - Ephesians 6

10 "Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. 11 Put on the full armor of God, so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes. 12 For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. 13 Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand. 14 Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place, 15 and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace. 16 In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. 17 Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God.
18 And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the Lord’s people."

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VXp6xcY5IqU  Casting Crowns - Glorious Day

Finally a picture of Patrick today in Texas - borrowed from Maria's blog!  He is 7 1/2 months and just went into 18 month clothes - Big and healthy and a miracle to for our eyes, hearts, minds, and souls to behold!  Lord, we thank thee!