It was so wonderful to see John excited and happy and working last night... It shows just how deep his love of going to the fair with cattle is and the wonderful memories of summer after summer.... the time with dad, and hard work of breaking and walking and washing and living with the animals! 
The father and daughter you see in the photos are the Hicks... On his way up to bed last night John told me to share what a wonderful family they are..."They have 9 wonderful kids and they all are very special to have that kind of family and their mom home schools them too! And to see a dad out there working with his daughter for the fair....now that is a good family!" I know that John can see his own dad and all the time he spent with him as the great gift that it was!
A year ago we were frozen in a state of terror and shock... we were consumed by discovering what was wrong with John and it looked to be the worst thing imaginable... cancer of the brain! It makes this year that much more wonderful for us after the huge cross we were put upon last summer! When I let myself think about the agony.... I know why John is throwing himself into the normalcy with such enthusiasm!
John as well as the rest of his family and I would venture to say... many of our "prayer warriors" are changed forever by this cross called cancer/healing! John has become much more compassionate and maybe it would be the Hebrew meaning used to describe the Good Samaritan in the Gospel yesterday.... he feels things "viscerally" -I just looked up the meaning of this....an internal organ of the body in the trunk cavity like the heart or the liver is the viscus...so to feel something viserally is to feel it deeply or dealing with crude or elemental or earthy emotions!
This is so amazing to see in John! For at least 4 or more years... John would cry out in his despair...."I do not feel anything when it comes to my faith. I have never had anything that would make me turn to my faith. I have had nothing hard or difficult to deal with in my life." It was to the point that John was to give a talk at a retreat, and last minute he changed the whole thing to the shock of everyone there and tearfully shared that he did not "feel" anything and therefore was not sure about having any faith at all! 
The Lord answered his plea with such a powerful deepening... taking his awareness of this foreign rapidly growing maybe fatal cancer within not just his body,but the center of his body and the seat of all control of his body - his brain! That will get you down to a deep and interior level!
One of John's aunts was down and spent a day following her brother, my husband Pat, and our son, John around the farm for a day... I was off on our trip to KC. She shared that she had a wonderful day being a "farmgirl". She also commented on how wonderful a young man John is, and wondered if this was always the case or if the recent events in his life had had a part in how he is today! I had to say that he is profoundly and deeply different and more compassionate after what he experienced within him in the last year!
As far as John goes…. He is an extremely talented young man and I always thought that it gave him a bit of a big head… at least he is a big fish in a small pond here in our church and area…. I felt that he was not very compassionate towards others, or very tolerant of others. This year of cancer has definitely changed him majorly and I have noticed it along the way…. One Sunday we were coming home from church complaining about a person we felt had acted rudely…. John spoke up that maybe this person had never experienced love and so it was hard for him to act pleasant, and to know how to respond to people. To me that was so huge and showed me that he was in a new place when it comes to others. It is gut wrenching yet to see what he has lost with the biopsy… to see his faltering walk and poor balance at times and to hear him say that he doesn’t trust himself to do things that he would never have given a thought to is very humbling and hard for him. But it is character building and a good thing in John Verly’s life and development of a man of God! He asked for this to happen to him over the last 4 years… He has said repeatedly that he felt nothing faithwise in his life….” I have never had any hardship in my life that has made me use my faith or turn to it.” He has said many times… He can no longer say that! Thank you Lord! And I think that all of us in our family would say that about this last year of cancer/healing! Jesus we trust in You! Bless-bless, Barb...I cut and pasted this responce I made to her in my letter.
It was a wonderful time out as the day started to cool down from the heat and humidity... the kids were a delight to follow around as the men and a small girl...just starting her first beef project. It was neat to see her dad helping, and John would be over there showing her things too. I could picture John with his kids and how he will carry over what his dad has done for him....knowing how important it is with his own kids!
It couldn't get any better! Even the "bouncy seat" tractor was in the yard! In today's Gospel - Matt 10:34-11:1 - Jesus makes it very clear that nothing can come before him and "take up your cross and follow me."
The meditation of the day - see http://www.magnificat.com/ - St Catherine of Siena gets "viseral"! St Catherine (1380) is a Doctor of the Church, was a Dominican, stigmatist and papal counselor. She is a patron saint of the Community of the Lamb, of which our daughter, Little Sister Hallel is a member! The thought just crossed my mind that it would certainly make you go deep to have the wounds of Christ on your body as she did! 
She addresses "Taking up your cross.""In the center of the garden is planted the tree of the most holy cross, the resting place of the spotless Lamb. He bathes and waters this glorious garden, irrigating it with his blood; and he himself bears the mature fruit of true solid virtues.
"If you want patience, he is the bedrock of meekness, since not a murmur of complaint was heard from the Lamb. He is the bedrock of deep humility, since God stooped down to humanity, and the Word stooped to the shameful death of the cross.
"If you want charity, he is that charity - and even more, for it was the power of love and charity that kept him nailed fast to the cross. The cross and nails could never have held God-Man, but not the power of charity held him. 
"So up!... I don't want you sleeping any more in irresponsibility... No, with a boundless blazing love get up and take a bath in Christ's blood, hide in the wounds of Christ crucified.
"I'll say no more. I'm sure that if you live in the cell I've been talking about you will discover none other than Christ crucified... Keep living in God's holy and tender love." St Catherine of Siena... I must admit that when I read St Catherine... I am somewhat shocked and taken aback by her "crude and elemental emotions." But after sharing today about John and realizing the fact that in her hands and feet were the wounds of Christ... I see why and I realize that the shock factor and the realness of it is powerful and needed to make people come out of that peaches and cream existance that can make you go "blindly" through a lie of a life!
There is nothing that I hate more than the kind of spirituality that is all sweetness and light! Yuck! I hate shallowness and where does it get you? Except lulled into thinking that what you are doing isn't so bad after all and what is there to worry about... I am starting to appreciate the shock factor more and more and welcome it! The cross of the last year was profound and I almost would go out there and say that I would wish it upon others! At least a cross of some type - which we all have - that would take us to the "visceral" level! 
With all that said... I would like to share the verse today at morning prayer... that made me shout for joy and with praise in my heart! "The Lord himself will fight for you; you have only to keep still." (Ex 14:14) That takes it right out of our hands and allows us to give it all to Him! He is in control!
"By waiting and by calm you shall be saved, in quiet and in trust your strength lies." Is 30:15b
"If you want patience, he is the bedrock of meekness, since not a murmur of complaint was heard from the Lamb. He is the bedrock of deep humility, since God stooped down to humanity, and the Word stooped to the shameful death of the cross.
"If you want charity, he is that charity - and even more, for it was the power of love and charity that kept him nailed fast to the cross. The cross and nails could never have held God-Man, but not the power of charity held him. 
"So up!... I don't want you sleeping any more in irresponsibility... No, with a boundless blazing love get up and take a bath in Christ's blood, hide in the wounds of Christ crucified.
"I'll say no more. I'm sure that if you live in the cell I've been talking about you will discover none other than Christ crucified... Keep living in God's holy and tender love." St Catherine of Siena... I must admit that when I read St Catherine... I am somewhat shocked and taken aback by her "crude and elemental emotions." But after sharing today about John and realizing the fact that in her hands and feet were the wounds of Christ... I see why and I realize that the shock factor and the realness of it is powerful and needed to make people come out of that peaches and cream existance that can make you go "blindly" through a lie of a life!
There is nothing that I hate more than the kind of spirituality that is all sweetness and light! Yuck! I hate shallowness and where does it get you? Except lulled into thinking that what you are doing isn't so bad after all and what is there to worry about... I am starting to appreciate the shock factor more and more and welcome it! The cross of the last year was profound and I almost would go out there and say that I would wish it upon others! At least a cross of some type - which we all have - that would take us to the "visceral" level! 
With all that said... I would like to share the verse today at morning prayer... that made me shout for joy and with praise in my heart! "The Lord himself will fight for you; you have only to keep still." (Ex 14:14) That takes it right out of our hands and allows us to give it all to Him! He is in control!
"By waiting and by calm you shall be saved, in quiet and in trust your strength lies." Is 30:15bDear Lord... no matter what we are experiencing in this life - you are there out of love to show us how to use it to your honor and glory... to take it deep within and to become all that we are to be! You hear our prayers and answer them in a powerful way, and it is beyond anything we can ever understand! WE cling to you and trust in you and your wisdom and unending forever love! We love you from the depth of our souls and internal being! Jesus we trust in you! Amen and Halleluia! Bless-bless, Barb
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