Bubble sink

Augustine was not in the door of our farmhouse very long before he had some applesuace mixed with cottage cheese.  This is applesauce that we make and can starting with apples off our trees every fall.  Nancy ran out of homemade applesauce a few weeks ago, so Gus was very excited to get some yummy applesauce and soon was quite dirty and ready for some bubbly fun in the sink - a Bubble sink!  He had so much fun getting clean and looking cute too!

I think his name should be Cute Bubbles Augustine... Makes grandma smile!  Jesus, we trust in you.  Bless-bless

Half-joy?

I borrowed this from Nancy's blog - http://thegreatgusadventure.blogspot.com/... How John loves his family and the new little ones give him much joy!  Agustine's little hand on his chest and looking at Uncle Johnny with his big brown eyes and a smile on his lips... I see John melting in love for this new (9 months) member of our family.  He spends time with Nancy and her family to fill that space in his life called family.  He has shared that he yearns for that for himself, and even shocked his dad and I by telling us that this is his top priority in life... just when he is finishing school and a job for his future should have that place in most people's mind.  We know that he is thinking and praying and going to job fairs and having interviews, but it was just interesting to hear him say that family is the most important thing in his life next to his faith and that the two are intertwined!  I know for myself and the girls this was all true, but now from our son, with the weight of beating cancer and taking the position of providing for his future family to say the same thing... Wow!  I do know that Pat was yearning for a Catholic family open to life and willing to embrace a life on the farm at John's age too!  So maybe this is John being like his dad also, and not just like his mom and sisters!  I guess he obtained his love of family and openness to life from all of his family!  No wonder, and it is an amazing wish and heartfelt prayer! 

Pat asked me out to help him yesterday, so I was armed with my camera for the long periods of time in between the actual helping that I did.  He was too busy here to notice that I was capturing him at work, and now has somewhat learned to accept me doing this as part of my time outside. Pat was out early this morning with the sun to grind hay - the wind has finally gone down!  Reading morning prayer by myself this morning... I found myself reading some of the great articles in the Magnificat - see http://www.magnificat.com/  In one I came across the idea of those that say to themselves, "I wish to be moderately good, and enjoy the occassional sight of God from afar, and otherwise go about my own business as I please."  There is so much of this, and we even find this happening when we do not resist temptation and choose to sin.  I will not spend time speaking to the negative of this, but rather speak about the beauty to be found in not going half way with our devotion and embracing the Most Cherished Cross in our lives and following Him and His marvelous example!  We are so blessed to have Him speak to us daily in the Gospel and to reveal to us his Way, His Truth and His Life!  Today He shares the parable of the vineyard and the landowner...speaking to the cheif priests - "The Kingdom of God will be taken away from you and given to a people that will produce its fruit."  Stressing to them that they will not recognize him as the Son of God, and will even put Him, who was without sin, to death.  And that only those, who embrace his command to pick up their cross and follow after him will be able to bear that fruit to the world.  And yes, there is tremendous JOY with the answering of that call!

In order to fully follow him we need the Holy Spirit's help dwelling within us, and giving us the gifts of the Spirit to become his voice and act in his Truth in this world!  "The seven gifts of the Holy Spirit are enumerated in Isaiah 11:2-3. They are present in their fullness in Jesus Christ but are found in all Christians who are in a state of grace. We receive them when we are infused with sanctifying grace, the life of God within us—as, for example, when we receive a sacrament worthily. As the current Catechism of the Catholic Church notes, "They complete and perfect the virtues of those who receive them." Infused with His gifts, we respond to the promptings of the Holy Spirit as if by instinct, the way Christ Himself would."  Scott P Richert  This is the opening paragraph on this site that I went to... http://catholicism.about.com/od/beliefsteachings/tp/Gifts_of_the_Holy_Spirit.htm

There is a gift by gift sharing that I will not share... Wisdom, understanding, counsel, fortitude, piety, fear of the Lord, and knowledge!  Come Holy Spirit and fill me with the ability to deny myself and follow the amazing life-giving example of Christ!  Jesus, we trust in you!  Amen and Halleluia

Bless-bless, Barb

Pat just called and is coming in for a light breakfast and to pray together... so this is coming to a quick end today.  Jesus, fill us with true joy as we deny ourselves and follow YOU - our Way, our Truth and our Life!

"If someone who has worldly means sees a brother in need and refuses him compassion, how can the love of God remain in him?"  I John 3: 17

"The poor are those who stand in need of our love, our time, our interest, our concern."  see http://www.magnificat.com/

Sunbath

While I was out helping Pat for a couple hours in the mono slope barn - putting up the electric fence so that the calves can have a spot to lay away from the big cows... I noticed how special the bond is between Snowball and her calf Snowflake.  They are together and are very affectionate and caring towards each other!  So sweet to watch them basking in the sun together side by side - calm and peaceful and sleepy.

Taking a nap in the sun- I came into the house and got my rosary and sat by the woodstove to doze and pray.  I had gotten inspired by Snowball and Snowflake taking a nap together in the sun!  Good night  and sweet dreams with visions of a sweet mama cow and her new baby calf napping and content with their life on the farm.  Jesus, we trust in you.  Bless-bless

I love you, mommy!  You are so warm and furry and soft! 

The unseen - "blindness"

This calf has not been put out with the other calves and cows in the big barn, because he is weak.  Pat is not sure if it might have a weak heart or lung problems, but there is some mysterious reason for it being slow and not having the energy of the others.  It nurses on its mother and then just lies down a lot in the soft corn stalk bedding.  It is there for the grandkids to have a calm quiet calf to pet and spend time with.  There are many reminders that with cows having their babies... there are the same kind of issues that we face with having our babies.  With the cows and calves - there is a vet that can be called for a C-section if needed, but the tests aren't done for a bad heart or lungs, and generally the ultrasounds are not done in the course of the pregnancy... although there is such a thing as ultrasounds done on some high class cows.  There is sometimes that sense of helplessness with calving out cows, where with human babies in the same situation of medical intervention needed... would be in intensive care and everything being done for them.  There is a different bar for animals as compared to humans, and that is only right.  But there are the mysteries that cause Pat to worry and wonder, and lots of times in the end they don't make it, even though Pat has put so much time and energy into caring for them specially! 

Pat really enjoys having interested people out with him... He loves that the grandkids enjoy their time in the barn with the animals, and that his grandsons are "grandpa's helpers."  He just asked me to come out and put up an electric fence later, so I will be armed with camera and try to get some photos of the new healthy adorable calves.  This one is the only weak one of the bunch.  Pat and I just shared morning prayers before he headed out to face his busy day - never knowing just what the day with hold with calves coming fast and furious.  He had about 5 born yesterday with a bit of drama in there.  John just called for an update, and was very interested and a bit disappointed that his pet, Baby, and two cows, who had Bertha for a mother, have all had bulls so far.  Luckily Snowball had a heifer (girl), and Mary definitely needs to show a female calf!

Mary finds a curious and friendly one... back to our prayer and reading of the readings for the day today!  The Gospel rang like a bell for us after an amazing experience that we had last night at faith formation - a Hunger Banquet!  It was a very compelling hour put on by two young girls to show us the poverty of the world as compared to the priviledge we have here in the U.S.  There was one table of 8-10 where the food was more than they needed and could really eat... there were two other tables for those with a bit more - out of dire poverty- where about 16 of us got rice with beans and a fork to eat it with.  Then the rest of the kids and teachers were on the floor, and were given a small serving of rice and water, and were to eat it with their fingers!  Our eyes were open to the uneven distribution of food in this world, and how we are growing fat while there are babies dying from starvation every second in this world!  Then to read the Gospel today from Luke - the story of the rich man and Lazarus!  He did not "see" that this man covered with sores needed and wanted even the scraps from his table, and as a result his eyes were only opened to him when he was in the flames of hell... Luke 16: 19-31  After reading and praying together... Pat and I sat silently taking it all in... in light of the powerful sharing last evening.  Pat said that there are many people that are not seen, and he started to mention people that we both know from different situations in our lives.  It made the idea of poverty and those that we are called to "see" and serve come much closer to home!  Yes, we are called to help those in the world that have nothing.  One thing mentioned in a video that we watched that really struck me - "If you have a car, no matter how old or run down, you are rich in the eyes of the world."  Wow!  We take so much for granted, and the way that we consider wealth is so out of hand in this country!  I pray that we can "see" those around us that are unseen in their need, and reach out to them with love and caring, and material means if that is part of their need! 

Moms on one side and babies on the other... Jesus, may we look at the world with eyes wide open to the reality of the need.  May we without hesitation give without counting the cost to those that we encounter.  Show us how to give, and really make a difference and sacrifice of our indulgences.  They shared last night that America could feed the world with the amount of money that we spend on ice cream each year!  I know it was just cute, Lord, but some of the kids at my table said; "I like ice cream!"  All the more reason that giving up that luxury to feed the world would be so amazing!  There are so many willing and wanting to make a difference for those that die and suffer, Lord!  Show us how to reach out so far away and make a difference, but mostly may we look around us in our own lives and communities and "see" those in need!  May we "feel" the feeling of hunger and remember those that know nothing else but that feeling.  Lord, open the way for us to share.  Jesus, we trust in you.  Amen and Halleluia

Bless-bless, Barb

"Only Luke contains the parable of the Rich Fool (Luke 12: 13-21) as well as the parable of the Rich Man and Lazarus... Why are the poor called "blessed?" Is it because they are not blinded by wealth and are open to God, or because they are to be beneficiaries of the kingdom as proclaimed by Jesus, which will reverse the structures of poverty and oppression?...  The evil of the rich man is that he is blinded by his wealth; he does not see Lazarus.'

Fr John Donahue S.J.

Barn time

It is so fun for Pat to have Ruth close by with the soon to be 4 grandkids!  Sometimes I think that he calves out cows just so that we can have the baby animals for the grandkids to show at the fair and come over to see.  But I know that there is much more to it than that, and that he is actually doing it to make some money, and in many ways it is a part of his farming job.  He used to milk cows, when we were first married and got into the dairy buy out in 1986.  NO more milking morning and night was a nice change, but Pat just loved the livestock and the babies, so then he has been building up his number of cows a little each year.   He is now at about 120 cows to calve out, and it has become quite a big job.  The nice weather has helped this year, but there are those challanges that he faces with a backwards calf or one born stillborn.  The same 9 months to have a calf, and the same kinds of problems too!  They weigh 10 times more though - instead of 8 pounds they weigh more like 80 pounds! It is kind of crazy to think that both take 9 months in the womb to grow that much differently!  The miracles of nature and the wonders of creation! 

When Ruthie was a little girl even younger than Mary... she would play in the barn while I helped Pat milk... she would walk in front of the cows and give them a can of protein or play with the baby kitties and calves in the pens.  Then the calves off the dairy cows would have to get a bottle morning and night and eventually drink their milk out of a pail.  They didn't get to nurse on their mothers - the milk was for human consumption.  It is nicer this way...when the calves get to be at their mother's side and nurse off of them for their milk and food.  Not to say that I don't like my milk and dairy products - I do! 

It is wonderful to know that Ruthie's family can have the great life that she had as a child on the farm too!  This weekend Nancy will be coming with her husband and 9 month old son for a weekend on the farm during calving!  Hopefully there will be no hard issues to deal with.  Just great family time on the farm enjoying the wonder of creation up close and personal! Jesus, we trust in you.  Bless-bless

Humble me, Lord.

I took 125 pictures in about half an hour yesterday and more than that the day before... calving is in full swing, and the grandkids are getting super excited and involved.  They have had some "pets" that they have gotten close to over the last few years... they were calves at their house getting ready for some other kids to show them at the fair.  Mary took special interest and named them some of the names you have heard mentioned - Snowball and Banana to name a few.  Three days ago Snowball was the first heifer to have her calf... and in short order Mary came over to see her.  We did not have a chance for some good pictures, although I took plenty of the kids sledding behind the 4 wheeler, and the beauty of the fresh snow in the setting sun.  Yesterday I had the oppotunity to spend some time with the calves - the cows were eating and a gate was shut so that we could just spend time with the calves... Ruth, Mary and I.  I explained in the previous entry about how Mary and Ruth tamed Snowflake down with patience and perseverance.

First her mommy held her and Mary stood by her.  Mary is very interested in the number in her ear - knowing that she and Snowflake will more than likely have many years of knowing each other and working together, and it is starting now!

Last night I was reminded of my misjudging people, and having no idea of their personal pain.  I was really mad at myself and talked to myself all the way home from a meeting in the car..."Barb, you cannot judge people!  You have no idea of what they are going through!"  I ended my discussion with myself - taking myself to task - with this heartfelt prayer -"Humble me, Lord!"  Whenever I pray this I am kind of anxious inside, because my lessons in humility really hurt and are miserable, but that it the whole point of being humble.  Our Lord said it so well today to us his disciples, with all our flaws and sins,"whoever wishes to be great among you shall be your slave.  Just so, the Son of Man did not come to be served but to serve and to give his life as a ransom for many."  Matthew 20: 17-28 

After her mommy let go of Snowflake, Mary went over and for the first time "controlled" her by herself.  This is something that she will have to do on a regular basis - so that they know and understand each other.  Snowflake will understand that she doesn't need to be afraid of Mary, and that they can be cooperative with each other.  As Snowflake gets bigger this can be a bit tricky, with the other cows, calves and her mother "mooing" their opinion.  Mary and Snowflake's mother, Snowball, already have a relationship, so this will be a very interesting experiment.  We will all be on the edge of our seats, and the camera will be snapping to capture the entire story.  Mary and her animals has been a ongoing story from her early years, and she continues to show an interest and ability to relate - just born into I guess!  She said that it seemed that she had known Snowflake much longer than 2 days... she has been hoping for and taking about Snowball's calf since she watched grandpa AI her last summer, but we won't go there.  Mary talks about Snowflake's dad, but there is a picture of him in a bull catalogue that she has looked at... TMI

After my little diversion about Mary... I guess that it is time to share once again that ever difficult Litany of Humility.  It is said every week by Blessed Teresa's order, Missionaries of Charity, and the first time I read it I was shocked and questioned how anyone could truly pray this and ask for it!?!  I need to read it through prayerfully asking for this ability to embrace these things in my life!

"Litany of Humility

O Jesus! meek and humble of heart, Hear me.

From the desire of being esteemed, Deliver me, Jesus.

From the desire of being loved, Deliver me, Jesus.

From the desire of being extolled, Deliver me, Jesus.

From the desire of being honored, Deliver me, Jesus.

From the desire of being praised, Deliver me, Jesus.

From the desire of being preferred to others, Deliver me, Jesus.

From the desire of being consulted, Deliver me, Jesus.

From the desire of being approved, Deliver me, Jesus.

From the fear of being humiliated, Deliver me, Jesus.

From the fear of being despised, Deliver me, Jesus.

From the fear of suffering rebukes, Deliver me, Jesus.

From the fear of being calumniated, Deliver me, Jesus.

From the fear of being forgotten, Deliver me, Jesus.

From the fear of being ridiculed, Deliver me, Jesus.

From the fear of being wronged, Deliver me, Jesus.

From the fear of being suspected, Deliver me, Jesus.

That others may be loved more than I, Jesus, grant me the grace to desire it.

That others may be esteemed more than I, Jesus, grant me the grace to desire it.

That, in the opinion of the world, others may increase and I may decrease, Jesus, grant me the grace to desire it.

That others may be chosen and I set aside, Jesus, grant me the grace to desire it.

That others may be praised and I unnoticed, Jesus, grant me the grace to desire it.

That others may be preferred to me in everything, Jesus, grant me the grace to desire it.

That others may become holier than I, provided that I may become as holy as I should, Jesus, grant me the grace to desire it."
How's that?  So hard to ask for, yet so much what our Lord wants of us... He truly showed us how to live this out and He was God!

Mary had many calves to touch and Snowflake was always at her side... I got home from my meeting after just asking the Lord for humility.  The phone rang and it was John - "Mom, I have a great story for you.  I was sitting in the bathroom stall going to the bathroom and shaving my head and face at the same time. (with the radiation to his brain/head John's hair is mostly gone... there are a few thin ones that come back, so he must shave his head bald and no longer has his lush brown hair- a small dose of humility)  I was in there a long time due to my shaving and someone came into the stall next to me.  We started talking and he told me that last year he had gone to give blood and signed up to be a possible bone marrow donar, and he had gotten a call today to tell him that he was a match.  He had gone to have his blood drawn, but wasn't sure if he wanted to do it or not.  He thought there could be a lot of pain... I talked to him and told him that he would be saving a life, and now he is going to do it!"  John told me that he wanted me to share this with the world today, and I laughed out loud long and hard, because someone had just said, the other day, that people are going to know when I go to the bathroom as much as I share on my blog!  It kind of hurt me, knowing that there is a lot that I do not share in reality, but now I embrace it and laugh knowing that I have now shared, per request, when my son did!  Thank you, Lord!

Jesus, I am such a mess and I need you so badly!  I embrace my weakness and sinful state to be reminded that I need you always and without hesitation!  I am so joyfully reminded of how the humbling experience John had with cancer/healing has made him so wise yet able to laugh at himself and the ways that you can use him in the most humble of circumstances.  I think that his fraternity brothers had gone to be bone marrow donars, due to John being in thier midst, and wanting to continue to the fight against the goliath - cancer!  Now they can take the fight into the larger world and make a difference for someone in need.  Thank you, Lord!  I continue to ask for humility in all its forms and shapes, and pray that humble I may serve you and be a slave to my brothers and sisters... most especially those in my domestic church - my family!  Jesus, thank you for all your graces and blessings - most especially the humbling experiences - showing us the path to sainthood and the Way the Truth and the Life!  Jesus, we trust in you.  Amen and Halleluia

Bless-bless, Barb

"Let us imagine our confusion when we appear before God and understand the reasons why he sent us the crosses we accepted so unwillingly.  The death of a child will be seen as its rescue from some great evil had it lived (my 6 losses and my sister, Mary, dead at 28), seperation from the woman you love the means of saving you from an unhappy marriage, a severe illness the reason for many years of life afterwards ( John's cancer/healing), loss of money the means of saving your soul from eternal loss.  So what have we worried about?  God is looking after us, and yet we are full of anxiety...If we could see all he sees we would unhesitatingly wish all he wishes.  We would beg on bended knees for those afflictions we now ask him to spare us.  To all of us he addresses the words spoken to the sons of Zebedee: You know not what you ask -O Blind of heart, your ignorance saddens me.  Let me manage your affairs and look after your interests.  I know what you need better that you do yourselves.  If I heed to what you think you need you would have been hopelessly ruined long ago." 

St Claude de la Colombeire (1682)

The Litany of Humility put to song by Danielle Rose - she writes all her music in front of the Blessed Sacrament, and it shows!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-3A3B02WSC0

Hear our prayer, O loving and forgiving Jesus Christ!  We want to be yours!