"Parched as burnt clay is my throat...they tear holes in my hands and my feet" Psalm 22

In morning prayer this morning I read Psalm 22 once with Pat before we got up and then again with John before he left for work... This display on my table grew through the morning and then a frantic call from Pat to come out and help with some sickness in the calves... getting in touch with suffering and all that Good Friday holds for us.  This crucifix was in a tree at the beginning of the Stations Maria made for me in our grove after she returned home from discerning a call in the Poor Clare monastery.  It is weathered and broken in two and repaired over and over... just yesterday I glued the two halves together for the tenth time or so, and now it lies in mourning on the table!   The Lamb slain for us ,with his loving Mother looking on. 

 John wearing a red bow tie for work today to remember Jesus and his Sacrifice for us... may we carry it always in our hearts as we go down the narrow path following after Jesus!

What does the 22nd Psalm say to bring us to the Cross this day?  My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?  But I am a worm and no man... they curl their lips, they toss their heads. "He trusted in the Lord, let him save him..."  Like water I am poured out, disjointed are all my bones.  My heart has become like wax, It is melted within my breast.  They tear holes in my hands and my feet and lay me in the dust of death.  I can count all my bones.  These people stare at me and gloat; they divide my clothing among them.  They cast lots for my robe.  And my soul shall live for him, my children serve him.  They shall tell of the Lord to generations yet to come, declare his faithfulness to peoples yet unborn: "These things the Lord has done."  Kind of crazy to realize this was written generations before Christ died for us!  It sure helped me along with circumstances here the full measure of what we remember on this day and always to keep us dying to self so that Jesus may live and heal and do His Work in this world of ours!

Pat following the procession of the Eucharist last night to adoration with Rose and David by the hand.

 Jesus in His Body to be adored and worshiped and given our lives for what he does for us - dying to bring the LIGHT into this world of darkness!

 Recognizing Jesus... when the Knights of Columbus came up with their uniforms and hats and capes and swords to guard over Jesus... Simon's eyes got very big and he looked at me with a big question mark in his eyes - how do explain that in the midst of the silence of adoration?  I just leaned over and whispered - "Knights, Simon."  For sure he was intrigued!  Nancy shared that at mass last night with her 3 - 3 1/2 and under that the only time they had to sush them was when Dominic was laughing too loudly at his big sister, Bernadette.  "He thinks she is so funny these days."  Great for families to share these most amazing holy days - The Tridium leading up to Easter JOY!

My Jesus!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

From the first reading this day - Isaiah 52

He was pierced for our offenses, crushed for our sins; upon him was the chastisement that makes us whole, by his stripes we are healed.  We had all gone astray like sheep, each following his own way; but the Lord laid upon him the guilt of us all.

Jesus, there is cold and darkness inside of me this day and the cold winds blow around me and there is struggles to deal with.  We embrace our Most Cherished Cross and follow after YOU, O Lord.  Jesus, we trust in YOU.  Amen

Martyr's Crown - Dee Simone

At this noon hour of the Passion ponder this lyric video to help us share in this death!

The spotless Lamb of God slain for us... Bless-bless, Barbara Luke

Jesus, we turn to you and trust in you.

  Praying the sorrowful mysteries with the cows, dog - out of the cold wind this day.

The Crucifixion by Danielle Rose - A Mother's song

 A Mother never leaves her child! 

 

T and David reading together in their home - We are together in Spirit... we will all be at mass today and share what Jesus did for us. 

Behold the Lamb of God who takes away the sins of the world...

So good to see this image used today - first time I saw it with Hallel in KC... just two days away from seeing her after 1 1/2 year!  So very excited to get some real hugs and times as a wantabe Contemplative Sister.  "Barb, because of your call to consider religious life - you now have a Little Sister Hallel."  an insightful comment made by at a Benedictine sister at the woman's Emmaus retreat in November.   Life is good and thank you, Jesus, for The Lamb showing us how we are to face all that comes to us on this narrow path carrying/dragging our Most Cherished Cross.  Bless-bless, Barb

My hero!

Holy Thursday of Holy Week 2015 - sweating blood/washing feet...

Thankfully the wind has died down after a dirt storm yesterday with 40 mph winds howling all around us.  The kids are home from school and since we are getting ready to make a whirlwind trip down to KC to see Hallel for Easter... Ruth had the Easter egg dying set for this morning out on the porch in the wonderful spring weather.  I think this is the first time ever that it has been nice enough to do eggs out on the porch!  I brought over an Easter tree branch from my lilac bushes that is starting to put out leaves for a celebration of Easter LIFE!  Mary admired it, and later we made butterflies to add to it with the words - He died to give us new LIFE.

 The boys doing some Easter Egg painting- there is a plan for these eggs... they will be part of the Easter meal we will share with Hallel and The Community on Easter morning in Kansas City!

 Rose was a good one at painting eggs so nice!

 She found pink/rose her favorite color! 

 Luke getting some help from mom - notice the green dye around his mouth... took a drink of vinegar and egg dye in water. 

 Rose now adds pink to her green thumb and thinks that it is pretty!

 Rainbow Easter eggs for Kansas City Easter breakfast celebration!  Such a beautiful setting with the sun the barn and the Easter tree behind the cute kids all busy making special food!

 "Rose do you know what?  That color is the same as your name - rose!"  Notice the cat drinking the water from the Easter tree?  Next thing it was tipped onto the ground... We rescued it.

Mary was happy to have a picture of Snowball to add to her Easter butterfly to put on their Easter tree... "Grandma, is Snowball the most tame of the cows? "  "Maybe her and Baby."  I had told Mary that I had petted Snowballs face through the fence.  

The kids were asking about Holy Thursday mass we will be attending as a family tonight - we always attend the Tridium and tonight I reminded the kids that there will be footwashing and today was the day that Jesus agonized in the garden and sweated blood - he was that hurt and crushed by our sins!  Nothing else needs to be said about it... that says it all!

Adorable Luke ready to make a mess - when you are 17 months "mess" is your middle name, right Luke? 

We also discussed that tonight there will be foot washing... The Gospel for today from John 13 reminds us just what this means for us as followers of The Truth - Jesus Christ!  We are to be humble on our knees washing the feet of all we are called to serve without counting the cost!  Such a powerful event to witness each Holy Thursday and this happens with the Community of the Lamb when they take their final vows - their foundress, Little Sister Marie, washes the feet of each one of the Little Sisters!  It is also a powerful part of TEC we share from time to time.  Jesus, we want to follow your humble servant example!

Mary shared with us how excited she is to go to Kansas City and she surprised us with sharing a gift that she wants to give to her Aunt Hallel!  The beautiful rosary she was gifted by Great grandma for first Communion - it has Lourdes water in the  center!  We encouraged her to go ahead and offer it, but Hallel will probably tell her to keep it and pray for her on it.  So sweet! 

Rose putting egg stickers on her butterfly for the Easter Tree!

Mary was happy to put Snowball on her butterfly along with the words - He died to bring us new LIFE

Luke sees Snowball on Mary's and is saying "Moo."

The butterfly that Paul made years ago is now on the Easter tree at their home.  I think this is about 10 years old and is most cherished by me!  I love it with this stunning picture taken a year ago November for the baptism of baby Luke - now he is 17 months and going to meet his Aunt Little Sister Hallel for the first time along with cousin, Dominic!

Praying for the gift of humility this day!

Jesus, we fall on our knees and bend low before you and all that you did for us!  We are so unworthy of your unconditional LOVE for us.  May we return to others the Mercy we have been shown.  May we recall your serving us without counting the cost.  Jesus, we trust in you.  Amen

Ruth and her kids starting to big a hole for a new sandbox... Reinforcements are coming - grandpa with the loader to make it short and quick work!  Talk about a major dose of spring fever!

Bless-bless, Barbara Luke

Jesus, we come to you!

Take part and recall in our hearts his LOVE for us!

Danielle Rose - The agony in the Garden

Crucify him -Danielle Rose - 2nd sorrowful the scouring at the pillar

Nancy's Birthday on Holy Thursday!

 Some pictures of Nancy down here to visit her grandma and with the new calves... We love you, Nancy! 

Happy Birthday, mom, we love you!  Bless-bless, Mom/Barb

Borrowing some great ones from Nancy tonight

PJs on...

now PJs off.  soon we will all be together in Kansas City to see their Aunt Little Sister Hallel - this will be the first time the Dominic will meet her and she him!

Nancy has a great camera and got some super cute ones of Berna with the newborn calf.

Touch is safe and special with a new calf on grandpa Pat's farm.  Nancy and her kids are so lucky to have this life they can share.

Thanks Nancy for letting me borrow your pictures they are a special gift to me.  Bless-bless, Barb

"I looked for sympathy, but there was none..." Psalm 69 Wednesday of Holy Week

A photo taken at the beginning of the month with my parents on the occasion of my dad's 90th birthday along with 7 of my 9 living siblings... two brothers are missing.  I think that if you would ask my parents and maybe my siblings - although we have not lived together for almost 40 years now... they would agree that I have a tendency to feel sorry for myself.  If I could have a penny for every time my husband has reminded me that I am in "a poor Barb" place in my life - I would be rich!  Yes, I have always recognized this in myself, but do I stop?  Not really. I might be to the point that I try to squash it when it rears its' ugly head, but I still have that feeling of being justified in the wrongs that have come my way.  The motto of The Community of the Lamb has really put this into perspective for me - Wounded, I will not cease to love.  How's that for a powerful reminder of how we are to look to the Lamb and model our lives after Him? 

Yes, I still have my parents!  Such role models to me of listening to the Lord in their lives and being open to LIFE!  My father now has difficulty with balance and has started to need a walker to get around.  It is ironic that the procedure which has given him the gift of hearing after many years of deafness to the point that he was pretty isolated from us and making it very hard on my mom trying to communicate with him from day to day... he had a cochlear implant done and returned to us to share his wisdom and communicate with his family and others again!  They had to remove his balance center in the middle of that ear and now has lost a lot of his balance... he will no longer be able to do his yard work that he has loved to work on... a hard loss for him.  I am sure, though, that he would not go back and lose his hearing for this. 

 

I have learned that just as the psalm from mass today #69 reminds me - I looked for sympathy, but there was none; for consolers, not one could I find.  Rather they put gall in my food, and in my thirst gave me vinegar to drink.  Lord, in your great love, answer me.  But what if that answer is not what you want to hear?  When my husband reminds me that I am being selfish and feeling sorry for myself... it makes me get upset with him and not with me!  Rather I should realize that it is true and know that I need to deal with my selfishness and give without counting the cost!  Our suffering is nothing compared to what Our Lord faced and took silently as a Lamb led to the slaughter!  We can do this!  We need to be ready to die for Christ! 

Singing the blessing song over my dad...

 

Today in the Gospel the disciples, including Judas, say to Jesus - Surely it is not I, Lord?  when he says that someone will betray him... it strikes me as odd that those other than Judas would be unsure that he was maybe speaking about them.  It just shows how we cannot be sure about ourselves when we are faced with temptations and that desire to be selfish and turn our backs on our faith and love of Christ and His Bride, The Church.  We are sinful and from one moment to the next may fall into our selfish and sinful ways.  Life is definitely an up and down road, but I pray that I can stay on the narrow path and carry/drag my Most Cherished Cross and follow Jesus in my weak and feeble way.  Sometimes, I know, that Jesus picks me up and carries me along when I am too weak and lost! 

How's this for a sign of aging?  We all went together and bought him a lift chair for his 90th birthday!

 

Jesus, this Holy week is such a reminder of how we need you each moment of each day!  We fail over and over and long to do better with the help of The Holy Spirit within us.  May we not fall into the trap this day of feeling sorry for ourselves and being selfish with our time or our talents.  May we give without counting the cost to those closest to us in our domestic Church/family.  Jesus, we trust in you.  Amen

Bless-bless, Barbara Luke

Do it all for Jesus - I can do this!

Yes, Lord, I want to know this and not feel sorry for myself!

Danielle Rose - Small things with great love

A mother's song - Danielle Rose - The Crucifixion from the mysteries CD

Jesus certainly did not feel sorry for himself and he had all the reasons in the world!