The Pat and Barb Verly family and their 5 children, in laws and grandkids along with many prayer warriors have been drawn together by John's cancer... sharing daily for 8 months started this blog- Family Soul Story - Our faith, family, farm and now our cancer journey called HEALING have colored and deepened our world. WE continue to share and depend on the support of our prayer warrior community, that has lowered us into the Lord's presence for His healing!
I unexpectedly have my very first day in a month at my current home. Thanks to a period of sleeplessness during the night I had a plan this morning to start getting things organized with calving coming up in mind. I thought I would be with Pat's mom today, but am so glad to have this wonderful day and all that I am discovering to make our lives more livable and comfortable here in the midst of the final leg of Ruth's remodel. Next up is the texturing of the walls and then painting on the horizon.
Luke hears the tractor and wants to ride with grandpa, and Rose found the tape measure and is following her mother's example. Rose's favorite thing to look at is a sample book of paints... being molded in the image of her mother whose motto is - "nothing is impossible to accomplish."
Giving the dogs a drink with the white snowy farmscape.
Cleaning my temporary kitchen... I found this reminder on the freezer this morning. Maria made this sign probably 12 years ago when she came home from discerning her call at the Poor Clare Monastery. Since then Hallel has discerned that she is called to be a nun in the Community of the Lamb, and John was in seminary for a year discerning out of the priesthood for now. So much fasting continues to bear fruit. It was good to see it as I was just about to put a roast in for today, and then I remembered that it is Friday... eggs or tomato soup instead.
It felt so good to dig in and clean and organize and find some things that we needed but had got lost in the big shuffle of moving and all. Walking in I was greeted by this sign I had made and put on the door coming in from our garage probably 20 years ago. It has seen better days and will soon no longer be true. The big move will be gradual and we will continue to be here through this calving season, so I am getting excited to be able to live in the new home for a few months. What a wonderful family farm home it will be!
Part of my midnight planning is to get the computer ready for cow TV! It feels good to see that we can find a nice spot for it until we can move downstairs!
Reminding me of my two little boys over the last month and how I would look up to see them looking around the corner at me... it warmed my heart to see my toddler, Luke, smiling at me a short time ago while I was organizing our computer. My sweet 3 youngest grandsons have filled my heart with love and some peace and joy in the midst of this crazy time in our lives.
something fun and special I found in my organizing today was a container of Belgian cookies we had made for Christmas and froze. The grandkids and grandpa found them and for payment they had to pose for grandma with those wonderful unexpected treats in the midst of our living in the midst of construction. We shared some with the guy here working on the walls. "Did you make those? They sure are good." "Yes, those I do help with." said Pat and he does!
It just feels so good to have this gift of an unexpected day today, and realizing that I have not had a day to clean and organize for a month now. I know that Nancy is doing much the same today in her new home as her stuff is in her home and they slept in their bed for the first time last night! It is so crazy as we all are on this similar track in our moves and major changes we face. It certainly has put us in a weak and lowly and humble place where we need to look to Jesus with each step that we take.
Yum!
The amazing 51st Psalm today is so appropriate for me on this journey of my life at loose ends lately... My sacrifice, O God, is a contrite spirit; a heart contrite and humbled, O God, you will not spurn.
I am overwhelmed by changes like this in my life... I do not do it well and change is grating and hard and scary and dirty and hard and shaky and miserable and sickening and overwhelming and dusty and reason for anger and harsh words and just plain old tiring and a lot of hard work! One good thing about it is I see how weak and sinful and selfish and lazy I am and that makes me humble and low and weak and when I discover that self - I need Jesus, and I turn to him. All I want is Jesus morning, noon and night!
A casualty of my being gone for a month - my one houseplant died.
Jesus, I need you! Jesus, I want you! Jesus, all I ever want is to die to self so that you may live in me and I may be on the narrow path carrying/dragging my Most Cherished Cross and moving toward heaven forever with you! I thank and praise you that I have been given this small slice of heavenly gift today of a suddenly free day to dig in and feel more at home and blessed in the midst of this craziness of change. May the fruits of the Spirit reign in our hearts, minds and souls -Galatians 5:22-23New International Version (NIV) 22 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness,23 gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law.
O Lord, how I long for these fruits to come forth in my life! Jesus, we trust in you. Amen and Hallelujah
Unearthing some great things today! It sure feels good! Thank you, Lord. Bless-bless, Barbara Luke
all the windows are covered for texturing and painting ahead! Pat out pushing the snow through the plastic covering.
A pretty snowy landscape on the way to Watertown, SD yesterday. Definitely back to winter!
Getting ready for Cow TV and watching the calving barn. Lord, we ask that you give us a good calving season ahead.
This is where I am a lot these days and it is hard to say "Yes, Lord, I will follow after you."
Berna with a flower gifted to her with St Agnes looking on behind. Agnes is such a powerful reminder that we are to love Jesus above all and give our all without counting the cost. There is much in life that is a mystery like why we lose our little ones in the womb. So often I would question, mourn and suffer after a loss. My two boys I lost at 5 months after John... in for a normal check up and no heartbeat! Then to have to go through a 5 month abortion procedure to have them - postagladin suppository. I am swamped by so many feelings tonight! So much pain remembered and making prayer more powerful!
My heart is torn in two after a heart wrenching sharing of a young woman who went in for her OB today, and they did not find the heartbeat and the ultrasound confirmed that the baby has died. The feeling of horror and lost hope are washing over me to read her words tonight...
"The baby died. Oh God, not again. I couldn't find a heartbeat on the Doppler this morning, and ultrasound confirmed the baby is gone." I can so remember experiencing this myself, and it makes me so want to reach out to her tonight. Be a listening ear and pray with her that she can find some healing and peace.
How this is bringing life to the words of the Gospel for today! "If anyone wishes to come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me. For whoever wishes to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for my sake will save it. What profit is there for one to gain the whole world yet lose or forfeit himself?" Luke 9
The words of St Bernadette today thanking God for her poverty, dirty sheep that she had to watch, hunger, lack of education..."thank you, thank you! Because had there been in this world a girl more ignorant and stupid than I, you would have chosen her." A prime example of how we are to trust in Jesus' plan and for me it was that I have 7 praying for me in heaven and not here walking the earth with me.
Jesus, I need you and fall on my knees before you. Allow me to dig deep and take that pain and use it to pray powerfully and deeply trusting in Jesus to always be there for us in our deep pain and need. Jesus, we trust in you. Bless-bless, Barb
My two middle daughters have now joined me in sharing in the pain of loss...more little ones called to join our prayer army - painful prayer power!
How's that for bright and sunny welcome when I came down the stairs this morning? Wow!
I continue to be amazed at how I can keep track of Pat outside, and watched him put the feed wagon away.
Knowing that it is the feast day of Our Lady of Lourdes today... I just left John a message knowing that he is celebrating with me today! http://familysoulstory.blogspot.com/p/johns-cancer-stories.html Check out the full story of our trip to France here!
Standing at the windows looking over the yard where the sink will be - I looked over to see my Mary garden under the tree. Yes, Mary, you are so much my companion in this life. How I love you!
Standing in the new master bedroom where the bed will be... there she is each morning to greet them! Mary bring us closer to Jesus this day and always. Your prayer is always with me! Jesus, we trust in you. Bless-bless, Barb
John and I just wiped tears on the phone as we rejoiced at this feast of Our Lady of Lourdes today and maybe a fake plan for me to make him a belated birthday supper at his place tonight! Our Lady of Lourdes we are madly in love with you. It is so great to know that The Community of the Lamb just a couple hours from Lourdes is joining in our celebration today!
From the huge patio door Mary comes into the farm home and reminds us of our wonderful Catholic Faith in Jesus and His Bride, The Church! Faith, Family, and Farm is what makes our world go round and fills it with LIGHT/LOVE/LIFE!
A stop by the empty church this morning - Ash Wednesday - I found the somber Lenten décor in place, and above it all was Jesus on his cross reminding me of his call to me... "Go into your inner room, close the door, and pray to your Father in secret." The Gospel today Matthew 6
This truly describes my constant inner chapel filled with Prayer without ceasing with every beat of my heart and every breath that I take. Foremost that prayer is that I can die to self and embrace my cross and follow after Jesus in all that I do and say and give and take and cry and laugh and sing and listen and work and play and awake and asleep and each moment of each day.
My friend Scot Hahn shared this quote by Pope Benedict XVI today. It is such a good description of what we are called to, and I find that I am in such a low spot that I am truly ready to do some big work on myself. It is such great God timing to be back home just in time to begin my Lent. Thank you, Lord, for your wonderful timing. I am on my peaceful island here with Pat's mom in her home for the afternoon and evening... talk about peace filled and wonderful prayer time.
It was so exciting to see Ruth and her two youngest after almost a month away. They arrived with their fresh ashes after attending Ash Wednesday mass at the school this morning. Pat and I had the experience of attending the nursing home mass. Then we were able to share the readings, ashes and Eucharist with his mother!
Ashes and breakfast with grandma on a chilly snowy Ash Wednesday!
Sweet Luke gave grandma gave me a big hug and found an old tractor - how he loves anything from the farm!
Sharing ashes, the readings and Eucharist is a special gift as we begin this long Lent retreat!
How I need to look into myself and make some changes. I feel badly shaken and weak and lowly and disappointed in myself after this last month. There was so much more that I could have willingly and selflessly done than I did, and that adds up to a pretty selfish person- me!
This is my prayer, as I have been truly humbled with the person on this journey of change in my life.
How I long to truly take the Gospel to heart and mind and soul and become less so Jesus will be more and I can become his hands and feet!
Family morning is special with the 4 generations sharing our Faith!
Rose' ash
Jesus, I am so needing you to come and help me out of this hole I find myself in these days. I am in need of your loving forgiveness!
Yes, Lord, I do know of your constant Mercy towards me, and may I return that unconditional LOVE and forgiveness to those closest to me most especially those in my domestic Church/family. Jesus, we trust in you. Amen and Hallelujah
Cute story about the ashes today. Father feels that they are not necessary to take some from church for Pat's mom, so we took some out of the fireplace in her home. We knew she would want ashes today to join in the beginning of Lent, and following the Church events she has always celebrated and followed for the last 96 years is certainly important to her! Bless-bless, Barbara Luke back home for Lent and needing major time to listen to his voice in this storm of a life I am in the midst of now.
Aunt RaTerra feeding the kids chocolate chip pancakes...
Thanks, Pat, for my Christmas present! I lost my diamond about 2 years ago, and he got me a new diamond for Christmas. I was just an hour down the road to KC and the jewelry store called to say it was ready. Waiting a month to pick it up - I love it! I have been distracted while writing this today as I have to look at it from time to time! I feel loved!
How I need to die to my worldly desires!
St Clare is so close to my heart as Maria chose her for a patron saint and then joined the Poor Clares for 5 months. They are family, too!
Back to winter... It is good to be home! We waited out the storm, and got a early start this morning to find the roads in good shape.
63 feet of open living space now in our home - soon to be Ruth and Paul's. Soon paint will be on these walls and the kitchen take shape. It is nice to see the bright clean look replacing the bare walls. Lots of talk among our girls about this new canning kitchen as Pat brought a pickup load of canning and meat for Nancy and Maria. Many hours spent here doing the family jobs of the farm and watching the outside jobs from all her wonderful windows.
After spending close to 3 1/2 weeks away from the farm which is in the midst of a huge remodel... My biggest accomplishment? Getting to know these two new grandsons and they gave grandma lots of hugs and smiles!
Snuggles were to be had for grandma as she was a bit like a fish out of her water.... being away for so long surrounded by little ones 24/7 was a lot! Thanks little boys for giving me some peaceful loving comfort!
Many times I would look up and the two of them would be looking around the corner and smiling at grandma.
The olders were not so interested in grandma, and so these little cuties gave me so much. Thank you!
Then there is my youngest grandson, Romeo. He is really blossoming and I was given the gift of a fun night of just the two of us bonding with s movie and a bubble sink.
Dominic I am sure you are missing your grandpa tonight. It was so great to get to know the sweet boy you are, and we hope your eyes light up with recognition the next time you see grandma and grandpa!
Dominic sure loves his grandpa, and it was so nice to have some wonderful time together.
After almost a month of brown winter in Kansas and Missouri... I guess it has been winter here all the time. It is pretty and feels like home!
Time to shift gears for lent starting tomorrow. I feel the need to crack down on myself as I got in touch with my selfishness and indulgence being out of my comfort zone. Lord, I need to die to self so that you may live in me. Jesus, we trust in you. Bless-bless, Barb
You guys made this month very special for grandma!
A blessing song from our Little Sisters before we went to see Maria and family on base. Having them close will be wonderful for all of us!
