"Happy Birthday dear Johnny!"

Two grandkids and their mom showed up for lunch - I quickly mixed up some cupcakes so that we could have some dessert and also sing happy first birthday to John on the first year of his life without cancer!  How fun and super powerful that he can celebrate two birthdays a week apart, and that he can go back and start over on January 27th... Year one of many more ahead! 

A kitty parade was part of the festivities... with big smiles and marching feet..."Here comes the kitty parade!"

"God is blessing you, Johnny.  God is blessing you now!"  Bless-bless, Barb



"It is you, O Lord, who are my hope,
my trust, O Lord, since my youth.
On you I have leaned from my birth.
from my mother's womb you have been my help.
My hope has always been in you.

You have burdened me with bitter troubles
but you will give me back my life.
You will raise me from the depths of the earth;
you will exalt me and console me again."
Psalm 71

The Christmas lights are still lit... to show the world that our son has been reborn along with the Son of God!  We want to tell the world of our JOY at the answer to our heartfelt prayers for his healing from brain cancer!  Jesus, we trust in you!

Mary and Cowardly Clyde.

My granddaughter, Mary, and I have a very close relationship.  I was her daycare provider for the first 3 years of her life.  While mom would work half time as a nurse at the hospital... I would watch her and Simon and then David too!  When I was called away to be with John on his cancer journey that all changed.  Now Mary goes to preschool 3 afternoons a week, and her other grandma has started watching the kids while Ruth works... Our favorite book, Cowardly Clyde  by Bill Pete, and one that we have read hundreds of time mostly the fast way... in my own words as the pages turn like a movie... now the last year of so we have started actually reading all of the words.  Today Mary was here, and I was delighted to have her "read" it to her younger brother, David!    I smiled from the kitchen as she got to the page where the "giant owl-eyed ox-footed ogre" comes into the sun - "The sun, I hate the sun!" And the then next page...."Kerpuffle!!!!!!!!!!!!!"  As he explodes into oblivion!  Too fun! 

All the joy and fond memories with my wonderful little ones continue on in special ways!   A grandmother's fondest wish... for the continued blessings of little ones to warm and color her world! And it is the most amazingly beautiful piece of artwork in progress that you could ever imagine... with all kinds of shapes and the colors of the rainbow - yes, many rainbows too!  Thank you Lord!  The gift of family cannot ever be compared to any others in this world of ours!  By far more wonderful than any riches or things!  Jesus, we trust in you! 

A new chance at life - Happy 1st Birthday John! Christ Rules!

Outside the Slayton's salesbarn when John was 1year old.  Yesterday Pat was begging me to take along his 2 year old grandson... how he loved and loves those little ones!  And how we are rejoicing today, as John was given new life a year ago today... as the stem cells that were harvested from him were replanted in him.... The three of us were together to watch the event, as a small IV bag of red cells slowly and carefully - two nurses were in the room monitoring and making sure that every last drop went into his port!  John slept, and his dad and I prayed, and trusted, and hoped, and marveled... that our son was to mark this day as the first day of the rest of his life! 

An Hallel psalm seems appropriate at this time! Hallel is the highest form of praise that David could muster - I think you will get the drift - Psalms 145-150 are Hallel Psalms and the ones around 100 are Grand Hallel Psalms! 

Psalm 149

Sing to the Lord a new song

of praise in the assembly of the faithful.

Let Israel be glad in their maker,

let the children of Zion rejoice in their king

Halleluia.

Let them praise his name in the festive dance.

let them sing praise to him with timbrel and harp.

For the Lord loves his people,

and adorns the lowly with victory.

Halleluia!

Let the faithful exult in glory;

let them sing for joy upon their couches;

Let the high praises of God be in their throats. 

This is the glory of all his faithful.

Halleluia!

His dad delighting in his first son...after our 4 daughters... he was very special and loved.  And after the two hard losses we had before we had him... that made him so special.  I know that his older sister - 3 year old Susan - cherished and protected him and continues to do that in prayer from France!  She came to be with him and care for him as much as she could as we faced the giant - Cancer... but it was crazy amazing looking back to have her preparing to take a major step towards becoming a member of her Community of the Lamb at the same time that John was facing cancer, and Nancy and Bill were meeting, engaged, married and now expecting their first child.  No wonder that when I walked down the aisle on the arm of my son... cancer free... the whole year and all that it contained just overwhelmed me!  It was all in the Lord's hands and thanks to Him!

John grew up with a cousin... as close to a brother as he can get...John and Brad are just 6 weeks apart and Brad is the son of Ed and Rita - whom we farm with.  Brad was so caring and supportive of John throughout his cancer journey!  We all are eternally grateful to Ed and Rita - John's Godparents- and their family.  Your prayers and love were so amazing and we know that because of the prayers that John is where he is at today.... healed cancer free and back living his life as the forever changed John.  A person forever changed by his embracing bravely the Cross, that appeared suddenly and without warning in his life - cancer/healing! 

After John I lost 2 boys after carrying them for 5 months!  As part of my grieving process - I made these two painting of them... For some reason today I just wanted to have them a part of all this sharing.  I have no doubt that all of his siblings in heaven - there are 6 of them,and for a long time I thought that I couldn't carry boys, so all of them are named as boys except for the last one - Christopher, Thomas, Joseph, William, Robert and Mary pray for us!  I know that all of John's siblings are having a big party in heaven today... they are wearing their birthday hats, and eating the most wonderful birthday cake, and filled with nothing but JOY!  There is so much peace in my heart knowing that all the children I was supposed to have are either here with us or in heaven praying and rejoicing with us!  The prayers are so needed and appreciated, and the excitement... knowing that we will have such a wonderful joyous welcoming committee when we hit heaven!  It really makes a person strive to get there, and the prayers are very much needed also.  When temptation hits...to think that my kids are watching me... truly makes me pause! 

John's official 1 year picture, taken by mom!  There will be no gathering today to celebrate in an earthly sense,but there certainly is one on the spiritual level!  There will be hugs and rejoicing, when we are with John in Rochester on Tuesday for his scans, and the continued good news that the cancer is gone!  Just to have John back in his life - independent, and studying, and sharing his story of embracing the cross of cancer/healing and all that it has meant to him.  Before this happened he questioned his faith and would say -"But, I don't feel anything!  I have never had any reason to turn to my faith, and so I don't really know what I believe." 

All that has changed now... Prayer, and the healing as a result, is very much deeply inside of him... the peace and courage that he had in the face of all that came and washed over him... wave after wave of the "storm"... How he knew so powerfully that Christ was in control, and was able to give it to him... he slept through much of the hard stuff that he faced over the year of the battle - now that is leaving it in the Lord's hands!  And that calm and trusting attitude was due to prayers, and the sacraments of our Church!  Daily Eucharist while he was hospitalized, annointing of the sick 4 times and frequent reconcilliation... including both reconcilliation, Eucharist and bathing in the healing miraclous waters of Lourdes while we were on our Miracle Journey in France!  His dad, John and I also shared every morning and night - morning and evening prayers along with the Gospel for the day - starting the night before... as we have learned to do from the Community of the Lamb - realizing that the Word of God is Christ in our midst, and we are asked to make it part of us, and to carry it forth to the world around us!  So many times we would weep at the power of His Word as it lept to life - reflecting exactly what we were facing that day!  I will never forget the story of David and Goliath, and how it spoke so powerfully of the courage that we could see in John! Or the parable of the Sower and the seed - it was on this day last year as John's seeds were being planted in the "rich soil!"  This is what we read today in morning prayer, and I think that you can see how it is for us on this day - so powerfully does the Word come alive in our lives experiences ... most especially our pain!

"What came to be through him was life, and this life was the light of the human race."  John 1: 3-4

"For the word of the Lord is faithful

and all his works to be trusted.

The Lord loves justice and right

and fills the earth with his love."  Psalm 33

And last but not least the Gospel for today:

The words of Christ to us..."Is a lamp brought in to be placed under a bushel basket or under a bed, and not to be placed on a lampstand?  For there is nothing hidden except to be made visible; nothing is secret except to come to light."  How I love it when Christ speaks to us in all His wisdom!  And how true these words ring within us as a result of our Cross - cancer/healing!

The tent at Lourdes where there is perpetual adortion going on... we are reminded in such a powerful way today... of all the ways that have gotten us to this point with healing for a year now!  Yes, the doctors played a part as did the strides that have been taken in ridding the world of cancer, but there were too many times where the Lord intervened, and we know that He was in control, and that the miracles were happening all around us as a result of HIM!  One of the most powerful part of it all, was the way that it not only touched us, but so many that were on the journey with us and "saw" with the eyes of their hearts the Work Of Faith and Trust!  I know that John and his family were forever changed, but I also hope and pray and have heard from many that they also are more aware and trusting in the power of God in their lives and surrendering all that they have to Him! 

John having a wonderful lunch with his Godparents as we were trying to discover what was in his brain and how to fight it!  Jesus, we are overwhelmed today with all the support, and love, and deep healing that has taken place over this last year and a half... the first year of John's new birth!  A new birth that reminds us of all the power of God in our lives, and the fact that He is truly in control!  It fills us with great peace and trust to know that God loves us so much, that He allowed his most precious son to be the Lamb of sacrifice, and to take all the sins away!  God is in control, and with that kind of love we cannot go wrong, and whatever comes our way is for our eternal good!  Thank you for John's healing, and we are on our knees this day in gratitude and prayers of joy and thanksgiving!  Jesus, we trust in you!  Amen and Halleluia! 

Bless-bless, Barb

"Brothers and sisters:  Since through the Blood of Jesus we have confidence of entrance into the sanctuary by the new and living way he opened for us through the veil, that is, his flesh, and since we have a "great high priest over the house of God," let us approach with a sincere heart and in abolute trust, with our bodies sprinkled clean from an evil conscience, and our bodies washed in pure water.  Let us hold unwaveringly to our confession that gives us hope, for he who made the promise is trustworthy.  We must consider how to rouse one another to love and good works..... encourage one another , and this all the more as you see the day drawing near."  Hebrews 10:  19-25  The first reading in mass today!  ST Angela Merici pray for us on this your feast day! 

Shortly before I lost John's brother, William, at 5 months of gestation... they are all very close today and rejoicing with us! 

The farmer and the seeds...

Sitting next to Pat at the cattle sale today - we had read morning prayer and the readings for the day as we traveled our 2 hours to Sioux Falls... we talked about last year and how Pat missed this sale as he was doing chores and then hitting the road to be there when John would have the "stem cell transplant."  It all sounded very high tech and like a huge ordeal, but it was actually a small bag of John's harvested stem cells in an IV bag that was hung and with two nurses in the room watching at all times it ran into the port they had surgically put into his heart with tubes coming out of his upper chest.   John slept and we were there for the beginning of his new life entering his body and taking root in this bone marrow to renew and bring John back from the brink of death to new life! 

We bought no bulls today, but it feels good to get back to the old and uncomplicated life without cancer.  How we hope and pray and expect to have only good news in less than a week when we go to Rochester for the blood work and scan and meeting with the doctors.   A year ago we were all to head to the hospital early and have the lifegiving cells returned to John's body.  The Lord was in control and called together a world wide meeting of doctors to present John's case, which was so very rare, and to decide that although his cancer grew back through the chemo that he should go ahead and have the stem cell transplant after he had reached CR - Christ Rules!  We were reminded tonight in religion that King David was courage, and it reminded me of how I put John so much in the place of David as he faced Goliath!  He knew that God was with him and therefore he had no fear in the face of the huge bellowing monster!  Jesus, we trust in you! 

Bless-bless, Barb

"Why are you cast down, my soul,

why groan within me?

Hope in God; I will praise him still.

my savior and my God." 

Psalm 43 written by King David

The seeds have yeilded a hundred fold!

Susan/Hallel caring for her brother as he was undergoing his first chemo in August of 2009... he had just undergone a brain biospy with resulting ataxia to discover that he had Primary Central Nervous System Lymphoma - cancer only in the center of his brain!  This was the beginning of our journey called cancer/healing.  Today marks a landmark of sorts!  Tomorrow is his first birthday as the stem cells - "seeds" were planted back in his body after he had the bomb dropped on him with a chemo that wiped out his bone marrow - immune system! 

John was totally dependent on his dad to get to the bathroom as he had lost the coordination on the left side of his body after the biopsy... 6 months later as we faced his stem cell transplant - he had regained his ability to walk on his own, now he has a slight dysfunction and appears to have a mild case of cerebral palsy... Still a loss, but much better... he is back at college and doing well except for catching a flu bug this last week.  A year ago we were overjoyed to read the Gospel on the day of his transplant as being the Sower and the Seed parable... this year it is today the day before his first birthday! "And some seed fell on rich soil and produced fruit.  It came up and yeilded thirty, sixty, and a hundredfold."  Mark 4: 1-20

We as parents felt so helpless to watch our 20 year old son face this horrible shocking cancer of his brain!  How powerful was it for us to be needed to physically help him!  We were needed and we could do something to help him!  It brought us closer than we ever thought we could be!  Looking back at the days after the stem cell and wathching the numbers of his blood slowly rise day after day - we had to go into the hospital to have blood drawn every morning as well as look at his vitals and any issues that would come up due to him having no immune system left!  He would have to wear a mask, and there was a kind of knowledge you had when you would see someone coming slowly down the hall wearing a mask with the person caring for them.  I was blessed to be able to be that for my precious son!  Yes, I am a nurse and that certainly was helpful, but Pat also made sure that we had a nice little yellow house that we could live in for the 5 weeks we were there... we were cozy and comfortable and watched the snow and the squirrels running from tree to tree in our back yard. 

John was considered a Rock Star in how well he made it through the whole procedure with hardly any glitches.  No hospitalizations for anything... some extra antibiotics here and there but more for a precaution than an out and out infection.  Now being at school with all the bugs and stuff he is exposed to there... He has done amazingly nornal there too!  His health and young age are certainly to his benefit.  The seeds which were harvested from him - his stem cells - which he harvested in only one day as opposed to some taking many days!  The seeds were good seeds in the first place and then to put them back into him it just makes sense that his soil would be "rich soil!"

In order for John to sit up... he needed to have is family sit on his weak side so that he would not fall over - we were needed!  Now let's listen to the explanation that Jesus gave to the Disciples about his parable - "Those seeds sown on rich soil are the ones who hear the word and accept it and bear fruit thirty and sixty and a hundredfold."  In this journey we have certainly "heard" and embraced - accepted - the word - the Cross!  There was no denying it or turning from it... it was there and we had to face it and with prayers and trusting acceptance we took it all as the Lord presented it to us... we were reminded on day 1 by Susan/Hallel that this was the storm and Jesus was in control - the Gospel for Father's Day 2009 - the day we went into the ER in Marshall and were told that there was something abnormal in John's brain!  How that knowledge that we could give it all to Him - He was in control... gave us immediate peace! 

We are off to the Sioux Falls farm show shortly - so I need to wrap this up for now.  Tomorrow being John's first birthday of his new life... Know that I will be sharing and celebrating from the rooftops!  I notice that one of my favorite Catholic writers is quoted today - Caryll Houselander (1954)  "The grain of wheat, which is our Christ-life must be buried in the earth.  It must be in darkness.  Its growing must be in rest.  It must be buried in earth, that is, in us, who are made from the earth.  The seed of Christ is not buried in angels, but in men.  It is to flower and bear fruit through human experience: through our loves, our work, our sorrows, our joys, our temptations.  It is to be litterally our living and our dying.

"We are the soil of the divine seed; there is no other.  The flowering of Christ in us does not depend upon pious exercises, or good works outside our daily life, on an amatuer practice of religion in our liesure time.  It is the marrow or our bones, in the experience of our daily life.... The seed is in darkness: the darkness of sorrow, the darkness of faith."  Caryll Houselander     How powerful to read his thoughts about the marrow and how the seeds are Christ taking root in our very being's center and core of the part of our body that gives us our lifegiving immune system on which depends our life and our health!  Christ be my life!  Come through the darkness! 

Three year old John with his precious Ricky the Racoon - he took him to  college and when he got cancer his faternity brother brought him to give John comfort!   He also found so much peace and comfort in all the prayers that came pouring in over caringbridge - http://www.caringbridge.org/visit/johnverly

Jesus, it is a wonderful gift to have this amazing reminder today in the Gospel of the Sower and the Seed that once again - you are in control of this most amazing journey we all have been on with John called cancer/healing!  WE continue to need to trust in you and are amazed to see the yielding of tremendous harvests!  We are yours - use us to your honor and glory! Jesus, we trust in you!  Amen and Halleluia!

Bless-bless, Barb

"God saved us and called us to a holy life, not according to our works but according to his own design and the grace bestowed on us in Christ Jesus before time began, but now made manifest through the appearance of our savior Christ Jesus, who destroyed death and brought life and immortality to light through the Gospel..."  2 Timothy 1: 9-13  St Titus and St Timothy pray for us on this your feast days! 

Mid winter heat!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Pat and his mom leaving our hour in Adoration tonight...AS the incense raises to the Lord as our prayers rise up to Him... we feel his warmth in our souls and spirits... we bask in the heat of his heart burning with love for us! 

The funeral flowers of a fellow farmer, who died suddenly... springtime in the midst of a long cold and snowy winter... reminds us that our friend is now at peace and in eternal springtime.  Our prayers are centered on our family and all of their needs.  I love to go down a litany of each and every member of Pat's family as well as mine... I place each of them in the monstrance with Jesus.  So much joy and peace and trust and hope!  Jesus, we trust in you, and know that there is nothing you want more than to heal and forgive!  Amen and Halleluia! 

Bless-bless, Barb

"I handed on to you as of first importance what I also received:  that Christ died for our sins in  accordance  with the scriptures; that he was buried; that he was raised on the third day in accordance with the scriptures."  Ist Letter from Paul to the Corinthians 15: 3-4  "Paul literally saw the light on the road to Damascus.  The love of the risen Christ transformed him and impelled him to illumine the whole world with the light of the Gospel."  see http://www.magnificat.com/