"God in my speaking..." - Celtic prayer

A few days ago little baby David woke up with a cute cowlick... today he woke up with a mysterious rash on his face and front and back... He is now in the clinic, and we pray and wait for the news on what this is... It seems that the transition that this little family is going through seems to come out in the kids in illness along with the regular crying and upset

With kids - one minute they are happy and the next minute they are crying and miserable... A cute "cowlick"... it has to be a happy day...  Now to figure out what is happening and to get him better...

He wants to tell Uncle John all about it... "My daddy left again for the Army and I am sad about that, and I don't feel good because even though my mommy tries to act happy... I can tell it is hard for her too.  And I am living in another new place and having to get used to new things and people, and...."  "Let's watch the doggies and forget about the things that are bothering you, Little Dave."  "OK, Uncle John... I feel better now, just being in your arms and knowing that you are listening to me, and understand that life can be hard and confusing for a 1 year old sometimes in this adult world of coming and going and moving..."

"I feel kind of peaceful and like I am safe now in your strong loving arms!"

A day with my parents... my dad was very excited to share some of the pearls he has gotten in his reading and praying... I am just where he is at...loving to study and grow and read some of the amazing meditations and books that come my way... there is a never ending stream of ways to grow and learn of my faith,and that is so wonderful for me!  We hear some older people say that they are "too old" for reading a book or getting into a study group that our Church offers... I plan to never get to that point and much like my parents... always hunger and thirst for the continued growth in understanding and faith!

One book my dad shared with me was a gift that he had gotten from a friend...a day by day meditational book written by a monk... there was an adorable picture on the cover of this little monk feeding some sheep an goats at a feeder... he lives in a community that cares for animals and gardens for their food... It was one of those books where you start reading and just are filled with such excitement and wowness at each thought and word!  I love that feeling, but then I also have a tendency to want to write down every word! 

With my sharing here every day... I do so often ask the Holy Spirit to be in my "speaking/writing"... When my dad shared this Celtic prayer that he has memorized and had found in this book I mentioned... the phrases are all wonderful, but this was the one that really grabbed my attention...especially after about 24 hours of constant visiting with my parents and husband... yes, we took 8 hours of that to sleep, but the rest was almost solid sharing and praying too! 

Celtic Prayer

"God to enfold me

God to surround me

God in my speaking

God in my thinking

God in my sleeping

God in my waking

God in my watching

God in my hoping

God in my life

God in my lips

God in my soul

God in my heart."

My dad and mom are such an example of having God in all and with all and throughout all of our lives!  Such a blessing to me and all of my many siblings, and in laws and grand and great grand children! 

My life is too chaotic today... I will have to leave this soon... Maria and her two children just returned with no answers to the rash and a scarey experience shaking up Therese - getting in touch with something that was to be used to check Davey's blood and it poked her finger by accident... kind of earthshaking for a 2 year old!

Our island of peace and faith at my parents' home... is now a warm spot within our hearts and souls and minds... we are back in the confusion of life, and we ask God to be with us in all aspects of that life...

Our Lady of Guadalupe reminded us of our sweet Hallel in France - she had told us in front of her altar in the chapel in KC that she was going to join the community of the Lamb!  Being the patronness of the Americas -whenever she appears in the chapel in France - Susan/Hallel knows that she is there just for her! 

Looking at a book of Rembrandt that I had given my mother years ago... this was a special one that I needed to capture... how important the command that we;  "Take courage, it is I, do not be afraid!"  Mark 6:45-52 - the Gospel for yesterday... when he came walking across the stormy sea , and they thought that he was a ghost..."He got into the boat with them and the wind died down.  They were completely astounded."  I have also shared many times that this was the reading on Father's day over a year ago,when we took John into the ER and found out that he had cancer of his brain... we called France and Susan/Hallel reminded us of the "storm" and that Jesus is in control!  How true this is... no matter what we face - He is in control! 

Frosty artwork on the window at my parents's house...Today in the Gospel - Luke 4: 14-22- "The Spirit of the Lord is upon me, because he has annointed me to bring glad tidings to the poor.  HE has sent me to proclaim liberty to captives and recovery of sight to the blind, to let the oppressed go free, and to proclaim a year acceptable to the Lord - 'Today this scipture passage has been fulfilled in your hearing.'  He said to them."

A wall devoted to the marriages in our family... I know that so many prayers are behind each of us and each of our marriages... I now do this for my children and their marriages - but I am not alone... my parents take seriously the grandchildren that they have as well as the greatgrandchildren!   They are well aware of the difficulties of marriages making it in this day and age!  Each year that we work through the ups and downs of life - we pray that they will continue to be "a year acceptable to the Lord."  With His Spirit and help through prayer and the sacraments.. we can persevere!

An outside cat - Big Orangey came in this morning for a snuggle and some milk... Another "pearl" shared by my wonderful father... this saint is special to him... while on an Ignation Silent Guided Retreat at the Cenacle Convent in 1971 - my dad was reading Isaiah 55: 1-2 - and the Holy Spirit told him to join the Catholic Church! Not only he, but his wife, and 11 children!  Hence this prayer called - Dedication to Jesus, by ST Ignatius of Loyola is special not only because it is amazing, but also because it is by this special Saint in my dad's journey!

Dedication to Jesus by St Ignatius

"Lord Jesus Christ, take all my freedom, my memory, my understanding, and my will.  All that I have and cherish you have given me.  I surrender it all to be guided by your will.  You love and your grace are wealth enough for me.  Give me these, Lord Jesus, and I ask for nothing more.  Amen"

Jesus, in the midst of all the things that pull at us and distract us as life goes on around us... help us to always know that you are capable of calming the "storm."  You are in control of all that we face with each new day of work and play and family... Use us as your servants.  May all that we say and do come directly from You!  We are yours and you are in control! Jesus, we trust in you!  Amen and Halleluia! 

Bless-bless, Barb

"True love causes pain.

Jesus in order to give us the proof of his love, died on the cross.

A mother in order to give birth ot her baby,has to suffer.

If you really love one another, you will not be able to avoid making sacrifices." 

Blessed Teresa of Calcutta

The most beautiful sound of Morning Prayer!

I finished up getting ready for the morning, just as the sun was starting to light up the day, and stepped out of the bedroom to the sound of my parents' voices reciting together the morning office - morning prayer for the Wednesday after Epiphany... My dad became a permanent deacon 30+ years ago now, and along with that goes doing morning and evening prayer in the liturgy of the hours, and the spouse of the Deacon is also a part of this prayer.  How amazing is that?  Permanent Deacons share this with priests in the diocese...I was reminded of the beauty of the many psalms and readings, and was a bit sad that with Pat and I sharing the Magnificat.....it has become something that we understand better, and is better suited for us to do together...

I pulled up a chair and so our day began with the beauty of the prayers that all the priests, monks, sisters in convents, and deacons, and diocesan priests are sharing at this same time.  When I am with my parents.. the power and magesty of the Church fills me with love and joy and wonder!  Much of our conversation for the 24 hours that we were together centered on our amazing Church and how we can be better Christians and Catholics!  My parents have blessed me mightily with the most amazing spiritual journey a person could have ever hoped for.  Now to have my husband to share it with and the 5 children and their families that we are taken deeper and deeper with... there could be no better life!

Two cardinals in the feeder and a woodpecker on another... My mother and I share that looking at the amazing beauty of nature and God's creatures... is like looking into the face of God!  Such a wonderful 24 hours on the St Croix River on a peaceful winter day...  Much excited and deep sharing!  My father had me read the reading from the morning prayer as we shared this morning...Mark 10: 29-31... "Amen, I say to you, there is no one who has given up house or brothers or sisters or mother or father or children or lands for my sake and for the sake of the Gospel who will not receive a hundred times more now in this present age... But many that are first will be last , and the last will be first."  Leaving my parents behind in my life and going off to start my life with Pat and our family... the time I am gifted with them is a wonderful beyond belief blessing! Faith and Family come together in a beautiful way - to still have both my amazing parents with me!  Thank you Lord... Jesus,we trust in you!   Amen and Halleluia!

Bless-bless, Barb

"Blessed is he who possesses Bethlehem in his heart, and in whose heart Christ is born daily."  St Jerome

The oldest girl in the family...

I find myself up in St Croix Falls, WI tonight... visiting my parents along with my husband, Pat.  My parents moved here last spring, and Pat had yet to see their home.  They were surprised that we would miss Ruth's birthday today, but she had to work a 12 hour shift at the hospital, so we will probably have an excuse to celebrate over the next days...  Thinking of her tonight and how wonderful she was for our first and oldest child.  The best oldest child ever!

Ruth and I shared being the oldest and so I have had a lot of understanding of what she has faced in that role as well as the hard things about being the oldest.  I felt that she did a lot better job of being accepting and loving of the others that came after her.  I never sensed any jealousy on her part, and maybe that was in part because I had a mischarriage between her and Nancy and she shared in my pain and loss.  I have a bit of a memory of being the apple of my parent's eye and being a less than welcoming older sister towards my sister, Marty, just 14 months behind me...

I, like Ruth, was a very shy person in school and yet being the oldest we both had to blaze the trails as we entered each step of school ahead of the others... Ruth in her wisdom realized that if she went to college too close that she would be running to the safety of her home instead of making an attempt to make friends and have new experiences.. she fell in love wiht a college in Bismarck, ND - University of Mary.. it was 6 hours away and she blossomed and accomplished becoming a wonderful nurse in just 4 years!  The first semester - she emailed every day, then she found friends and had those experiences that she had hoped for... She found the beauty of Ruth that dwelt deep inside of her... a beautiful bud that opened up into an amazing flower!  Happy Birthday Ruth!  We love you and are amazed at the gorgeous Rose you are to all those that come in contact with you!  Bless-bless, mom and dad... along with grandma and grandpa Cross and your Godparents Marty and Steve

Jesus, we trust in you!  Thank you for all the ways that we are used in our lives and the ways that we find our path... sometimes it is scarey but we put our trust in you... you are in control!  Amen and Halleluia!

"Lord,teach me your paths." Psalm 25 - Ruth Ida Rose's Bday

Today is the date of the birth of my oldest child...Ruth Ida Rose!  It was one of the best days of my life!  I experienced the pain of giving birth for the first time, and back in the days of no spinals and of waiting for the birth to be surprised by the boy or girl that would appear after hours of pain and that intense pushing... And there she was the most perfect beautiful little "rosebud." 

She was so loved and wanted beyond belief... every cycle without pregnancy from the day of our marriage, was a sad and tearful time for me.  WE were open to family and I was very impatient for the first one and each one after!  I see some of my traits,  of craziness when it comes to family, coming out in my kids.  Ruth did what I wanted to do...got pregnant the first cycle of her marriage, and celebrated their 1st anniversary with a 2 month old... Some think that the time of just being the two of you is so important to the newly weds, but none of my girls have had that desire... Family is huge for them and they are blessed with wonderful ones!

Today is the feastday of one of the rare saints that was married and had a family and is also the first American saint - St Elizabeth Ann Seton... She was married and had 5 children, whom she raised with her husband before he died.  She converted to Catholicism and then founded an order schools and teaching order - The Sisters of Charity. 

It is such a blessing to have Ruth and her family so close and to see how she is following where the Lord leads her in life.  I have shared numerous times how my children are teaching me many powerful ways... It is quite humbling and amazing to be able to "see" with eyes of faith those lessons that we are all needing to learn and follow in our life with Christ!

Ruth, unlike me, has always needed to work parttime... using her nursing to help out with the household finances... I know that this is true for most households these days, but it was hard for me to have my first grandkids in daycare.  Then they moved here and I was able to care for them while Ruth worked half time at the hospital... now after a year of brain cancer with John... the other grandmother has become the person, who watches and cares for them.  The only thing better would be to have her home with her kids, but this is as good as it can be otherwise, and I do know that her service as a nurse is needed and that she has a ministry much like St Elizabeth did both her family and her service!

With Ruth living on a building site in the country just a few miles from our farm, and the small place she lived in on Hwy 59 until she was 7yo....I have often watched her in her garden pulling carrots for her kids straight out of the garden.. with the cows coming up from the pasture to get a drink... or some similar scene.. and realized that Ruth has been blessed with the life that she had growing up.  The great part is that she realizes and loves her life both then and now! 

To our delight one evening in July... Ruth the the kids were over on a beautiful evening and we all decided to get into the back of the pickup and go back and check on the cows and calves in the back pasture about a mile away... So many evenings we would load the kids up and go back there - it really became our family fun vacation time to sit in the quiet stillness and watch the cows and calves watch us as they ate grass and the calves would take some time to nurse on their mothers...

Now a generation later...we had the gift of sharing this with Ruth and now her 3 little ones... It was a delight and Ruth even spoke in some emotional terms about how lucky she had been and now was continuing to be... The  feeling of peace and Joy were within and without... Ruth has always been very kind and loving towards all the natural things that surround her.

"O divine love, beneficent mysterious Sun.  The flowers of every virtue take the liveliest colors under your benign aspect - humility, peace, constancy, joy, faith, hope, and charity are your precious eternal fruits.  You give to the soul your delight in her, the purest joys in foretaste of the torrents of your eternal inebriations - speaking to the soul you consume, at all times and in all places, in silence, or in noise, in deepest darkness, or brightest day."  St Elizabeth Ann Seton

It was so special to have this hour in the evening with my Ruth and to have her share her joy at having the blessed life she had hoped and dreamed for when a shy girl, who never dated and wondered if the Lord would ever give her someone in her life...  Her virtue was highly honored and precious... yet she yearned in her heart for a husband and family and a life connected to the farm...the life she had loved as a child...

The Lord answered her prayers with her wonderful Paul!  He had told his dad a few months before they started dating that he wanted to meet a girl with whom he could share his faith and all that he valued in his future.  His dad assured him that he would find her soon,and at the County Fair, which they had shared all their lives... they walked around shared a malt and looked at the sites of the fair...so it began and their first "date" at Camden... they talked about what they wanted and their priorities..they lined up and were the same... 6 months dating and a short engagement... why wait, if you find the right person?

Ruth is very calm and caring... She is very quietly listening to the Lord and where He is leading her... there are many times that she has asked the Lord - "Why?"  And in short order she gets the answer...

"Why Lord did I have to rupture my uterus while having Mary,and be told no more children?"  The Lord answered; "So that you put your total trust in me, and so that you learn the Creighton Model Method to wait until it is safe to have another child... not only learn it to use it yourself, but also to become an instructor and help others use natural means to prevent a pregnancy or to get pregnant!" 

Such it is when we have those roadblocks put in our path in life... we are shown another road to take that makes us and those around us better!

How happy are we to have children that come home and appreciate the family they had while here, and allow us to share that now with our grandkids!

Life is an adventure!  "My feet kept to the level path because from earliest youth I was familiar with wisdom."  Sirach 51: 15   As parents we say at the Baptism of our children that we will raise them in the faith, and to have them show us as they raise their families that they totally see this is so important... Not only that we are allowed and encouraged to share in all aspects of our grandchildren's lives... Our happiest times are when we are all together at mass worshiping together! 

Ruth's motherhood is beautiful to behold!  A work of art ... just as this wonderful picture is a photo story of how she loves and includes each one in a most warm and caring way... Motherhood is deeply ingrained in her and gives her all the value that fills her deepest recesses! 

Large family jobs in Ruth's large farm kitchen - those heartwarming times and times for some of the best visiting and sharing.  Sharing work to put up the fresh food... the many jobs are filled and the bags of sweet corn that feed us for the year to come are bags of golden memories of sweetness and familytime!  Soooooooooooo  Goooooooooood tooooooo!

"Lord, make me know your ways.  Lord, teach me your paths.  Make me walk in your truth, and teach me:  for you are God my savior...In you I hope all day long because of your goodness, O Lord.... he guides the humble in the right path; he teaches the way to the poor."  Psalm 25

Well, I rambled and I gushed... I guess when it is my journal/blog that I can do that...Ruth... we love you and wish you a wonderful 31st year ahead!  You amaze us with your calm and joyful spirit and the way that you serve and listen to our Lord in so many ways and experiences in your life!  Your children are lights that reveal your beauty to the world! 

Jesus, thank you for your gift of Ruth Ida Rose on this day of her birth!  WE ask that you continue to use her and bless her... as she is wearing all the hats, that she is given and asked to wear!  She is a shining light for all to see!  We are forever blessed by her peaceful,loving, trusting, forgiving spirit.  The Best Big Sister, Daughter, Wife, and Mother that anyone could have hoped for or asked for!  Jesus, we trust in you!  Amen and Halleluia!

Bless-bless, Barb

"Now I, like a rivulet from wisdom's stream, channeling the waters into a garden, Said to myself, "I will water my plants, my flower bed I will drench"; And suddenly this rivulet of mine became a river, then this stream of mine, a sea.  Thus do I send my teachings forth shining like the dawn, to become known afar off.  Thus do I pour out instruction like prophecy and bestow it on generations to come."  Sirach 24: 28-31

Small woman- huge Truth... Blessed Teresa of Calcutta

From finishing reading the book - Confessions of a Mega Church Pastor tonight while I worked in the Birthright office... I was moved by the words he wrote about Blessed Teresa of Calcutta...."Mother Teresa spoke so poignantly in 1994 at the National Prayer Breakfast in Washington.  At the time she spoke , she was an internationally known servant leader, who passed on what she had received from the Church and then lived it out more powerfully than anyone else on earth.

"When she spoke, the image was striking.  This was not her opinion, one opinion among many.  Here was a tiny little woman, standing on the Truth of the Church.  This was the Truth she selflessly lived out decade after decade in the slums of Calcutta... Imagine how Pres and Mrs Clinton must have felt when they heard Mother Teresa say to the thousands of attendees:          And if we accept that a mother can kill even her own child, how can we tell other people not to kill one another?  How do we persuade a woman not to have an abortion?  As always, we must persuade her with love and we remind ourselves that love means to be willing to give until it hurts.  Jesus gave even His life to love us.  So, the mother who is thinking of abortion, should be helped to love.... the father is told that he does not have to take responsibility at all for the child he has brought into the world.  The father is likely to put other women into the same trouble.  So abortion just leads to more abortion.  Any country that accepts abortion is not teaching its people to love,but to use any violence to get what they want.  This is why the greatest destroyer of love and peace is abortion.

"Little Mother Teresa rebuked our entire Western culture of death.  She rebuked our selfishness and our love of convenience.  And she shamed us for our lack of love... She stood on Truth mapped out by centuries of the Church's moral teaching and tradition.  Her own life proved the validity of the Truth coming from her lips."  Allen Hunt