Just after starting my new Magnificat for March the night before last and reading the Gospel for the next day... I wandered to the front of the book and read the Editorial which is always amazing by Fr Peter Cameron OP.... It was to my delight about one of my favorite topics and struggles... Humility! So many of the saints and great doctors of the Church speaking first of all to the fact that it was Mary's humility that allowed the Son of God to enter the world! Speaking of her "nothingness" and how she knew that in the presence of God she was nothing and totally accepted that, and with that knowledge of herself was able to say "yes" to what God needed to accomplish in her! "Mary pleased God by her virginity, she conceived by her humility." St Bernard
Last evening I went out to help Pat with putting eartags in his almost 30 calves that he has so far. They were in 3 different pens.... We went into the first one and he started catching the calves and putting the tags in. I admit that I go out very seldom to help him, but during calving it can be a few times a week or so... for sure not daily and usually it is to "work" a gate as he is sorting them, or putting the ones close to calving in the barn. John was not around, and with him here I probably go out less than the last two years when he was gone to college in the Cities.
Well, he was over on the other side of the barn working on a calf and I looked up to see a cow glaring and bellowing at me, and then to my horror she came right at me full speed. I yelled for Pat as she pushed me towards the wall of our new monoslope barn from quite a ways out. I was terrified as I have never been attacked by a cow before... usually I have some bellow at me, and I stand my ground and tell it to go away and it does, because it is more afraid of me than I of it.... This one however turned out to have been a "fair calf" that we showed for 4H, and it has no fear of us. Pat came running and chased her back just as I came to the wall. I was terribly shaken and could feel some minor pain on the side that had scraped. Standing I realized that I had some aches in places on the other side of my body where she had pushed me too. Mostly though I was scared and shakey! I also realized before I got up.. that I had landed in a fresh "pie" to add to the whole mess!
I had gone out there pretty confident, and maybe even arrogant at my ability to help Pat, as a farmwife for these past over 30 years, and I quickly was reminded by the reality of what happened that the cows do not know me... I am a stranger that rarely is around them unlike Pat, who goes into that pen "5 or more times a day". I limped out and for the other two pens...stood on the other side of the fence to help hand him things as he needed them. After a good night's sleep... I woke up to less pain and realized that I had healed a lot overnight. I also realized that the Lord had protected me from a much worse situation, and that all that had been wounded was my pride! I also know now that I will respect them a lot more, and not wear a red jacket to basically put a bullseye on myself. There is a reason that I wore a brownish green coverall the years that we milked cows... just about the color of that "pie" I mentioned earlier. The beauty of things that you take for granted is coming back to me now.
A bit more on this hard message we all need to take to heart....Humility! From the Editorial written by Fr Cameron... "There is a twofold dynamic to humiltiy. On the one hand it is not possible to be humble if we deny our nothingness. But on the other hand, we cannot be humble if we fail to acknowledge the merciful presence of God acting in our life." And "Authentic humility creates space in a soul that God refuses to leave empty; He fills it with Himself." Finally "Thus humility craves silence.... a silence that permits us to become detached from willfulness and absorbed in what God wills for us. Humility enables us to hear God communicating His love for us in just the way he wants to love us."
Yes, Lord... how I need to remember that I am nothing without you and all your amazing plans for me. Use me to your honor and glory... even if I need to sit on a "pie" to remember that You are there protecting me from myself and showing me that I am in the palm of your hand. Jesus I trust in You! Amen. Bless-bless, Barb and the Verlys
No comments:
Post a Comment