My newborn son... 22 years ago tomorrow - we were so surprised to have a son! This was my 8th pregnancy, and I was convinced that I could not carry boys, and had lost them to mischarriage - I had 3 mischarriages by this point, and 4 girls. I had also had a ultrasound at 20 weeks, and on that grainy blurry picture that you would look at 22 years ago... it looked like we were having our 5th girl! The day before I was induced to have him - I always was on bedrest due to increasing blood pressure, and induced to get the baby here safe. The doctor was doing the amniocentisis guided by an ultrasound... to make sure not to poke the baby... he commented that it looked like a boy, and I quickly said that we had been shown that it was a girl... so we knew that..."Well, it must be big toe then." he said with a twinkle in his eye. The next day when John came out, we were shocked, and amazed, and happy to have a boy! The doctor, we had had for all of our marriage, told us that he had known the day before...
A gift.... he was, and is to this day! We all feel that way about our children, but it certainly makes you appreciate them to face one of the most horrific things there is - brain cancer - with your precious healthy strapping 6'4" son! We were bonded so closely in the time we faced together for tests, and caring for all of his needs and then some! A year ago in our little yellow house... as we had his stem cell transplant, and recovered enough of his cells to return home... we joked that it was almost as if the umbilical cord had reappeared! So today to share this time back in our familiar stomping grounds... is kind of sweet, and special, and we expect to get only good news! 
I think that you can tell by my rambling, that I am sitting here waiting long hours between tests and doctors... The words of Louis Lavelle yesterday on suffering really struck a cord of truth for me; "Relationships between two people have an acuteness and a depth that is in direct proprotion to their common suffering." The mental suffering we shared equally. The emotional suffering we shared equally - much like the umbilical cord shared my blood with him! The physical pain - I know that he experienced that and I in fact did not, but you all know how you want to take that away from your child and suffer for them... it gets to the point that we do suffer with them! We suffered together... we came to that acute closeness, and it was wonderful when he could go back to school and his life on his own... but we missed each other, and enjoy being together now in the world of healthy, and healing, and recovery! We are blessed to be here a year later with high hopes, and trusting in the continued path He has laid out ahead of us! 
"Today as Mary carries her baby to the temple, she is leading Jesus and us to God's dwelling place on earth." from morning prayer - see http://www.magnificat.com/ We are forever blessed to have our amazing True Church with us as we make our journey of Truth, and Faith, and Hope - cancer/healing. I rejoice as I have been given the gift of amazing time closely growing with my son as faith entered our hearts in a new and deeply personal way... and now as we take that faith out with us into our seperate lives! Thank you, Jesus! And now bless my son with a wonderful 22nd birthday tomorrow, and many more ahead... as the new and improved John with you at the center of his life! Jesus,we trust in you! Amen and Halleluia! 
Bless-bless, Barb"See, darkness covers the earth, and thick clouds cover the peoples; But upon you the Lord shines, and over you appears his glory. Nations shall walk by your light, and kings by your shining radiance.
The Lord shall be your light forever, your God shall be your glory." Isaiah 60: 2-3, 19
"Jesus Christ is the light no darkness can extinguish!"
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