Pat with his first ever blind calf... it is heart rending to see it so uncertain and fearful to move around not knowing in the darkness... It swings it's head from side to side like a blind man's stick to try to find a path to walk on the uneven bedding. The darkness is so dark...
Psalm 103:12 "as far as the east is from the west, so far has he removed our transgressions from us."http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WyoVJfADlwo This song was just echoing through me this morning and I had to start with it. The few words from the opening hymn this morning reminded me of it, and also the message of this song by Casting Crowns - by the Cross we are healed! It also reminds me of an article that Pat just shared with me from Catholic Digest... It is an article entitled The Cross and the Crucifix by Elizabeth Esther, a convert much like myself. I can remember the feeling that the Catholic Church was mysterious and kind of foreign and scarey in my younger years as a Protestant ministers daughter. "As I slouched in the pew, I could hardly raise my eyes. I had never allowed myself to fully gaze on the crucifix.... It was the first time in my life I had looked upon a crucifix with a desire to be reminded of what Christ did, to ask whether he had done it for me." Elizabeth Esther
Pat helps the blind calf find his mother... I named it Bartemaeus for the blind man that called and called for Jesus to heal him and he did! I will call him Bart for short! "The only power that overcomes the reality of suffering, injustice, and evil in this world is love. Only love conquers death. The crucifix is the tangible reminder of what Jesus had to endure for love. And I need that reminder. Without understanding what he suffered , how can we fully appreciate what He won on our behalf?" Elizabeth Esther
My hour with HIM in Adoration yesterday - the best hour that I spend each week - was shared with an amazing old friend, Sr Helen! I had the wonderful gift of being able to be home with my 5 children for 14 years, but when John started school I found a job part time as a hospice nurse. Sr Helen served our patients as both a nurses aide and as one of the spiritual supports. I worked with her shoulder the shoulder for 10 years, and we both had tremendous respect for the faith, and hope, and joy that we brought to our patients - many of whom we shared as I would be the nurse, and she the aide and spiritual support! We shared stories as we drove together to spend a holy Hour at the Church... we had just been out to see a brand new calf that had just been born, as well as the blind calf... We shared about Greg... he was 39, and very angry to be dying. I remember there was a time that I called Sr Helen to tell her that Greg was having a "spiritual emergency" as he was nearing death. Sr told me when she arrived that day..."Greg told me that he just wanted to die. I told him that he was going to accomplish that soon, but to carry this load of rage and anger with him was not what the Lord wanted for him. He burst into tears, and made a huge turn towards a peaceful place. I told him that when he arrived in heaven the angels would greet him with beautiful joyful singing. When he died his mom wanted me to come and see him in the hospital. I have never seen such a transformed and peaceful face - his blue eyes were wide open in an astonished and peaceful way, and I said to his mother - 'Look at him! He is seeing the angels!' " You had better believe I was wiping tears, as I drove through town to the Church! Then we sat side by side in the pew for an hour sharing prayer. There beside this tiny sister, who entered in 1940 making her 90 years old and over 60 years a bride of Christ! She sat so still and prayerfully looking only at HIM! My prayer was very special indeed, as I looked upon Christ in the monstrance, and also above at him dead on the Cross for me, and for all those that Sr and I helped face death!
I have always been drawn to the work with the dying, and I guess that my time now in the nursing home continues with that in many ways. Many have asked me over the years how I can work with dying,but for me it is just a part of life, and to help families and their loved one find a peaceful death is a gift! I am a person that does not like the small talk and meaningless parts of life and intercommunication. The thing about facing death is that it takes all the meaningless things out of the picture... our faith and our family is what it all comes down to. Those vacations to Mexico, and the nice car and house mean nothing as you are looking death in the eyes! I love to go deep, and that is required in hospice! Sr was reminding me of a woman, who had never had faith or prayed in her entire life. In the last 3 days of her life she was baptized and confirmed! Jesus, we trust in you!
Sweet Jesus, how I am filled with the power and the majesty of your Cross this day of rememberance. You have led so many to You as they face the end of their days... it clears out all that distracts us from seeing what is truly important in LIFE - Your Way, Your Truth, and your LIFE! I am changed forever by my encounter with your suffering and death, and forever will I embrace my Most Cherished Cross, and follow after you! Life is a wonderful gift, and can foreshadow the true happiness that awaits us after we walk into the sunset of our lives, and find you there with your Mother standing at your side. We long to spend every minute of our lives with you. Jesus, we trust in you. Amen and Halleluia
Bless-bless, Barb
The new cow and calf that greeted us yesterday in the barn! Life is a gift!
"I've come to realize that I needed to emphasize both. I need to see the his wounds and I need to celebrate his Resurrection. If I celebrate only the Resurrection without walking through Christ's suffering, I lose a fullness of understanding. To focus exclusively on the Resurrection is like skipping to the end of the book and reading the ending. It's like eating dessert first, without enjoying the whole meal. I need the whole book. I need the full-course meal." Elizabeth Esther
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