Sharing Hospice with dad and mom- a beautiful gift!/Marriage vs religious life

Mom and I years back - how I loved my mother and we looked at the world eye to eye, and that means with the eyes of Faith in Jesus, Mary and The Church!

I woke up today feeling teary and sad that my mother is gone.  It stemmed from praying with my dad in his room yesterday due to the cold and rain outside and noticing pictures coming up on the photo screen of the last time I saw my mother in her sweet apartment with dad on a good day.  Two weeks before she died quickly in one day after a fall in the morning breaking her hip and then taking her "last sweet breath that was like a gentle kiss" at 5p.

Dad with the 3 older girls - I being the oldest of 12!  Also a number of years past...

It all ties together this morning with dad sharing that in his night he had pondered that with my hospice background I had been very involved in mom's final few hours in getting her comfortable as she begged me to help her with her breathing and pain, and making sure that she understood that she was dying so that she could prepare herself in her inner temple!  I was so happy that my sister had seen to her getting her Anointing of the sick earlier that day and informed me that mom had willingly taken part with this beautiful sacrament that used to be called "last rites" for those at the end of their lives.  

Most of all dad wanted to, with some emotion in his voice, thank me for putting the call out to our family that mom was on her last hours and they needed to call in and say their goodbyes!  "With your years on hospice, you understood that saying goodbye was important and you went down the list and made sure that each one said goodbye to mother the way they needed to."  Yes, I went down the list and realized that my youngest sister had not responded, and called her son... telling him to give his mother the phone as soon as she walked through the door from work.  In mom's last few minutes she called and tearfully told her goodbye!  

Another oldie probably over 20 years ago now.

I know that this of my mother and I was taken almost 69 years ago as my 69th birthday is just weeks away!

A special one of my parents taken at CCC- Cross Christmas Camp!  My parents have put much thought and planning and worked hard to make for our family wonderful family experiences!  Two that have influenced myself and my family the most of these last 20+ years are Christmas Camp and our vacation home in Michigan!  Christmas Camp continues now for 35 years since the time that my sister, Mary, was dying from cancer in 1985!  The second year of camp we went to visit her at her grave as she died on July 3,1986.  

Ruth and Rose again in Michigan 7 years ago.  Rose brings Michigan up to me often and we had fake plans to go there this summer, before the Lord had different plans for me with my father living here with me now for 5 months on hospice!

Michigan goes deep for me from my childhood and my mother instilling in us the love of the Big Lake!  She had the wisdom to get us kids out of the inner city in the summers - when you are raising 11 kids it is wise indeed to get them someplace where they can play and learn to work under the leadership and example of hard working parents.  Over the years mom would get us out of the inner city of  Flint, MI and to her father's cabin on Lake Michigan, then when we moved to Minneapolis - my parents bought a deserted building site in Wisconsin, that we brought back to living conditions, planted a garden and put up food for our huge family.  Out of the influences of the Big City once again!  

My wonderful wise and caring mother, taken 2 weeks before she died, who really invested prayer, thought and a lot of hard work into being sure that her family was together and away from bad influences!

The final family plan for us was when they built their vacation home/retirement home in Manistique, MI in 1997!  Once again it was a gift to their children for us to have our week there on the inland sea, and time with my parents.  How I cherished that time, as did my kids and grandkids to the point that when, due to my dad's health, they moved closer to family in St Croix Falls, WI... We and some of my siblings took over the cabin to stay in the family for a number more years.

My Deacon Father baptizing #3 Maria Theresa, as he did for all my children!  I am so blessed to have him here living with me, and find that my "call and prayers" for religious life are being answered in such an amazing way in allowing me to have a job of PRAYER with my sharp prayerful and Holy Spirit filled father!  Yes, dad and I and mother have shared a Baptism in the Holy Spirit since I was about 15.  First my parents and then they laid hands on me and my life changed... my LOVE for Jesus grew powerfully and when the Holy Spirit led my father and mother to come into The Church 49 years ago... I was willing and also led - "I want to be a nun, so I want to be Catholic!"

https://familysoulstory.blogspot.com/p/the-amazing-story-of-13-becoming.html

The new Catholics on the farm the winter that my parents bought it.  It took a lot of work on our part to fix it up... it never had running water!

The first reading today is about marriage vs religious life from I Corinthians 7 saying that marriage is an "affliction" and do not go out of your way looking for a spouse as "Are you free of a wife?  Then do not look for a wife.
If you marry, however, you do not sin,
nor does an unmarried woman sin if she marries;
but such people will experience affliction in their earthly life,
and I would like to spare you that."  St Paul to the Corinthians 

Yes, we call our spouse Our Most Cherished Cross as through embracing them we die to self, which is an affliction in a good way, and we find LIFE/LOVE/LIGHT!  Yet, I am also very close to my nun daughter, and I see that she has not truly chosen "the easy life" as my mother-in-law, used to say.  I see that Hallel has had to sacrifice a desire to have a spouse and children.  Also the life in Community is also difficult and challenging to live in peace and harmony.  There are many others with all their quirks that must be endured, forgiven, and don't we all face those irritations most especially with those that we live in close quarters with?  Our Domestic Church/family and those the closest to us are the ones that we struggle to treat the best and forgive.

Dad baptizing our #4 daughter, Susan/Little Sister Hallel in 1986 just a few months before my sister, Mary, died of cancer.  She was Susan's Godmother along with husband, Jerry.

The farm with the 13...

Dad and I pray in the Spirit each day together.  We don't pray in tongues as we have in the past when we share time in Prayer groups over the years!  Just to show how much that Holy Spirit was directing us... when we moved to Minneapolis the summer after I graduated high school - 1969.  We were led to a prayer group in the Cenacle Convent in Wayzata!  Our first exposure to nuns and eventually led us into The Catholic Church right when Vatican 2 was happening - so the 13 of us swam against the tide leaving The Church at that time!  Each day since has been a total gift to me!  

 At the farm recovering from a sprained ankle - where Pat and I met!

https://familysoulstory.blogspot.com/p/my-most-cherished-cross-patrick-gerard.html

The farm is where I first experienced my romantic deep love for ALL things Catholic as I read Thomas Merton, and Venerable Thomas A'Kempis!  I have never experienced a dryness or lack of that JOY!  I start the night before as Hallel's Community has taught me to read the Gospel for the next day.  Jesus in The Word has become as the air that I breath and each breath that I take - "Jesus, Jesus, Jesus..."

Praying with dad yesterday... with the cold we are now staying in his room to pray throughout the day!  This is our JOY and how we are thankful to have this time to do more work on earth!  Each Monday dad prays for all using first and middle names from our 140+ family.  All other days he prays each morning for "the 34 grands with spouses, and the 58 great-grands."  That is so important to all of us!  

A keepsake masterpiece!  My father with all 19 of my grandchildren on Sunday before they went in many different directions.  This took a lot of effort and I am so grateful to the Lord that it worked out!

All but 2 - Hallel and Joseph will be added soon!  

Jesus, how we love you and your Bride, The Church!  Each day we are blessed with amazing Saints - today St Peter Claver, who ministered to the slaves coming here by the thousands from Africa!  In 33 years he instructed and baptized over 300,000 Slaves!  Lord, we pray that the seeds planted may bear much fruit and help bring peace and forgiveness into our world of unrest and violence.  Lord, be with our country and bring to an and the taking of innocent human life in the womb!  St JPII and St Mother Teresa of Calcutta, continue your work for LIFE and family from heaven along with my mother, Nancy!  Jesus, we trust in you.  Amen and Hallelujah

My hero for LIFE and family!  He became pope just a month after we were married 42 years ago!  I know that he is working hard from heaven for us! St JPII and St Peter Claver and all the Saints along with the Queen of heaven and earth, Mother Mary... intercede and bring into the LIGHT all the evil that is accepted and promoted by Satan in this world through the culture of death and darkness.  Bless-bless, Barbara

My most Cherished Cross as my nun daughter pointed out to her sister, Nancy, on the occasion of her engagement!

Nancy was engaged to Bill Bandzuch on April 10, 2010... We are all so happy for her as she has waited long for her Catholic man to come into her life. She had stood by her values and as a result it was especially sweet and special when she joyfully accepted Bill's proposal! We all gathered in Maria and 's back yard to help them celebrate that afternoon minus her sister in KC... Little Sister Hallel. We called her and she spoke to each one of us and even her neice and nephews ! A month later Nancy found this letter from her sister in the mailbox. It was mother's day and she called me to read it to me over the phone. I was blown away and at first thought how crazy it was that a young girl,who had answered the call to remain chaste and be a little sister had so much insight into marriage! But when I realized that she is now the "bride of Christ" it now makes all the sense in the world! I would like to once again share this powerful and wise letter here... Nancy, Look I am writing you a letter... aren't you impressed? Well, you better be because both you and I know how often this happens. I am writing to tell you now extremely excited I am about your engagement to Bill. I have to admit, when I got the news I wasn't really shocked but that night as it sunk in during adoration and the next day during mass I was so happy. My heart overflowed with joy for you. How beautiful to know that you have found your... most cherished cross. While I have never had the experience of being married, from what I hear is that he will truly be your cross. But not your cross as human eyes look at it, as a thing to run away from, as a thing of torture but rather as that which is truly the tree of life. It is only when clinging to the cross that one can truly live, it is the source of all life and of all love. Your marriage to Bill will be this, not something to run away from when it gets hard and when it hurts, but something to hold tight to, especially when it hurts because it is in this that you will find life and love. Know that it is through your marriage that Jesus wants to show you his great love for you and also that the best example that you can give to the world of Christ's love is a marriage lived in truth. So, in other words, know that I am so happy for you and that I love you a whole lot. Know that you are in my prayers during this crazy time of wedding planning; that you may not go crazy but rather learn to love each other better and that you may both have great joy and great peace. Remember to pray for me too! God Bless, Your little Sister Hallel