Knowing that Father's Day is just two days away... not in anticipation of all the gifts and kind words that will flow over my father and my husband from our children, although they both are the best dads out there and deserve great praise... No, it is there so powerfully because it is the anniversary of our cancer journey with our then 20 year old son, John Patrick Verly!
Spending time with Jesus in adoration yesterday was a gift and how I love to come to him in my weakness and "feel" His love and peace flowing over me! It being the day where we were taught to pray "The Our Father" in the Gospel - the Our Father beads were especially wonderful as I recited my 10 decades of the rosary that I do every day... or try awfully hard to do. Sometimes the day comes in and interferes with some of those, but I yearn to be able to ask Our Lady to intercede for all those that are in need.
I love what St Paul writes today in 2 Corinthians 11... it made both Pat and I laugh as he recounted all the suffering that he did for Christ..."Five times I received forty lashes minus one. Three times I was beaten with rods, once I was stoned, three times I was shipwrecked, I passed a night and day on the deep; on frequent journeys, in danger from rivers, dangers from robbers, dangers from my own race, dangers from Gentiles, dangers in the city, dangers in the wilderness, dangers at sea, dangers among false borthers; in toil and in hardship, through many sleepless nights, through hunger and thirst, through frequent fastings, through cold and exposure. .... If I boast, I will boast of the things that show my weakness." 
John is home with us for a few days - working in Marshall - how we love to have him here! He even got in some rock picking with his brother in law, Paul, yesterday. So with sunburned shoulders, and a list of people to meet with to inform about the need for life insurance.. he is out the door for a 7a appointment. WE are reminded of how we had to put the whole situation of fearful discovery that there was something in John's brain - cancer- into the Lord's hands... we were weak and worried! We called France to tell Susan/Hallel that we were on our way to Sioux Falls, and she reminded us of the Gospel reading of that day, 2 years ago - Jesus calming the storm on the sea! "This is the storm, and Jesus is in control." She told us, and we had to hand it all over to HIM!
Granddaughter, Mary, took this picture of her namesake while visiting my parents a few days ago. Our Lady of Guadalupe certainly has been there for us in our weakness and is such a symbol of coming to those that are weak and downtrodden and misled by a culture of death... the Myan and Inca cultures where there was human sacrifices... Our Lady appears bearing Christ in her womb - the black sash that she is wearing indicates that - and brings millions to her Son and a culture of LIFE! Hence she is the patronness of the Americas, and we need to plead for her intercession to bring us out of this culture of death, where the unborn are killed without thought... for the lives that are lost- the lights that are thoughtlessly extinguished, this culture of death that has become our country and our world! Our attempts to make a differnce seem so small and so weak in the face of this monster, but one life at a time is definitely worth the battle! Our Lady stood by us throughout our battle with cancer and continues to uphold us day by day!
Another picture by Mary - finding Nancy and Gus resting after a feeding in the morning... Nancy has a look of peace and calm... We all have to let go of all that can come and crowd out our trusting in the Lord as we face all those things that are new and diffenent and even those things that are in the form of suffering! St Paul spent a lot of time on the sea, traveling from one place to another spreading the Gospel and forming new Churches... it sounds like he knew many storms - being shipwrecked 3 times and spending some times out there holding onto a part of the ship and floating on "the deep"... the Lord was with him and brought him back to safety so that he might continue his work!
Time at a beach on a rainy day - getting our feet in the calm water... I will forever remember a time that I was talking to Susan/Hallel in France after I had gotten my hip replaced and I was telling her how I felt so down about my "weakness." "Mom, Jesus comes to us when we are weak, and isn't that what you want?" "YES!" Suddenly I found great joy in my very low state of weakness and helplessness, because there is nothing I want more than to be close to HIM, and to have Him pick me up and carry me in His loving and strong arms! I want to be weak all the time and humble and never to feel that I have the world by the tail. That is when I start to put myself first and He fades into the background. Jesus, I love you so much and need you and want only YOU to fill me and calm me and save me from myself and all those "distorted thoughts and selfish habits."
Jesus and Mary, how I long to come to you and just lay my entire life at your feet... never to take it up again in a selfish and sinful way. I want to belong only to you and to reflect that in the fruits of your
Spirit that come forth from the "Seed." The Seed of the Word of God and the Food from Heaven that are given to me daily, and to see your love for me in all the amazing sacraments of Your Church! To hear the words of forgiveness in the confessional that are from you, and to see your hands laid upon my son in the sacrament of Healing the times of our cancer journey. I am TOUCHED BY YOU! I am healed by you and I am weak and NEED YOU! Jesus, I trust in you! Amen and Halleluia!
Bless-bless, Barb the humble and fervent
"Still another way in which the soul knows that God is within it is by an embrace which God bestows upon the soul. Never has a mother embraced her son with such love, nor can anyone else on this earth be imagined who embraces with a love that nears the indescribable love with which God embraces the soul. He presses it to himself with such tenderness and such love that I think that no one on earth who has not had this experience can believe it.... This embrace of God sets ablaze a fire within the soul with which the whole soul burns for Christ. It also produces a light so great that the soul understands the fullness of God's goodness...In this state , God produces in the soul a superabundance of joy... if this state lasted, I would consider myself to be in paradise. This joy has an effect that can be observed in every part of the body. Everything bitter or injurious or whatever else one could be afflicted with becomes sweet."
St Angela of Foligno (1309) was a wife and mother who later became a Francisan and an esteemed mystical writer. I love the fact that she is the wonderful mixture of mother and religious, later in life, and the fact that she calls our "weakness" and sufferings "sweet!" For our weakness brings us to HIM!
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