Six days ago I was up helping Nancy with her first son, Augustine. She had just brought him home from the hospital the day before and as we all know there is a huge adjustment as well as major lack of sleep. We got word from Pat that he was taking Maria into the ER that evening... she had started spotting and her Alpha doctor up in the Cities told her to get an ultrasound and if the baby's heartbeat was there to get a shot of progesterone. The ultrasound showed the little 6 week sack and the heartbeat was there... hope was high, but the difficulty finding the progesterone was hard as the bleeding increased. Today Maria showed me this picture of her little one - grandchild #7, just as we were heading in for another ultrasound to see if the baby had survived the week.. the answer sadly is "no." Maria has been going through a mischarriage for the last 6 days, and we got the final answer today. The tears were there, but most touching was when Maria told her 3 year old daughter, Therese, that the baby had died and gone to heaven with Jesus. She nestled into her mother's chest and the two of them cried together at the loss.
There have been many beautiful things happening over this last week of hope for our 7th grandchild. We called France and talked to little Sister Hallel and knew that we had her prayers as well as the Community of the Lamb. Maria's brother, John, showed his love and concern by asking Fr Criag Timmerman to stop for supper and a blessing of Maria's womb last evening. So beautiful and powerful as we gathered in the kitchen holding hands as he prayed over her and asking that the Lord's will be done, yet knowing how we would love to welcome this new life into the world! 
So powerful and beautiful when John prayed " some Hail Marys" with his sister this morning before he headed off to work..." I think that she is the best one for us to pray to now." To see his love and concern for his sisters and the life in their womb is beyond wonderful! "Anything Nancy and Gus need." John told me when I needed to stay an extra day there with them.
I see in my girls the value of life is so strong in them, and I know that this is the due to many things... but I think foremost it is the result of how we have always shared in all the ups and downs of the ones that we have here with us and the 6 losses that I have had over the years of childbearing - the best and worst years of my life! I held my breath at the thought that we would have to go through a mischarriage together, but it was probably unrealistic to think that this would not happen eventually. 
The exteme joy of Nancy's first wonderful child weighed against the past week of uncertainty/hope with Maria as she mischarried her little one.... I am all over the place when it comes to emotion and in a bit of a state of craziness in the passion that I feel for Life and all the places that takes me....
Family that I have here with me just arrived and we might finally get our garden planted on June 3rd... the same day that they are getting the last field of corn planted! It has been the worst spring that anyone can remember! 
Maria in front of her place in Missouri before we headed for our big crazy adventure... looking back we are filled with wonder at the difficult journey we have been on since leaving there about a week ago... some mountain heights and some valleys of darkness...
Always surrounded by love every step of the way and always aware of the passion that we all feel for life from conception to natural death - even though we do not understand WHY! Jesus, we need you and trust in you and thank you for all LIFE! Jesus, we trust in you! Amen and Halleluia! 
Bless-bless, Barb the fervent and humble
The Gospel for today is kind of hard and great at the same time!
Jesus said to his disciples: "Amen, amen, I say to you, you will weep and mourn, while the world rejoices; you will grieve, but your grief will become joy. When a woman is in labor, she is in anguish because her hour has arrived; but when she has given birth to a child, she no longer remembers the pain because of of her joy that a child has been born into the world. So you also are now in anguish. But I will see you again, and your hearts will rejoice, and no one will take your joy away from you. On that day you will not question me about anything. Amen, amen, I say to you, whatever you ask the Father in my name he will give you." John 16: 20-23 Lord, we will see our lost little ones someday and the rejoicing will resound in heaven! Now I have a little grandchild joining my sister and brother and 6children praying for me in heaven... I know that I need all those prayers to get me through this journey called LIFE!
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