Last minute John saw clear to go to Texas with his old parents... it was a wonderful gift to have him along. We were excited at this point as we drove through New Mexico mountainous area and watched the elevation approach a mile high! The things that you discover on an adventure across the country... the arid landscape makes you appreciate the black earth and large fertile fields that we are blessed with. Here and there we would see a lone cow trying to fill it's belly with meager grass or whatever. Pat and John discussed much about the differences... it was just good to have John with us from both of our perspectives. It seems that after sharing a year battling his brain cancer... that we yearn for times that we can be close and share everything! And as close as John and I were on that seat that we shared... it was truly a close time for us, and with a folded comforter under our bottoms to make the seat more soft and roomy.. it was a good and memorable time for us to laugh at and reminisce about. Thank you, Lord, for the gift of our son, who returns to the days of hanging out with mom and dad with great excitement and joy!
How his heart bled about what Maria was going through...Today I am being reminded that there are many things worse than losing a early pregnancy, and I need to realize that there are many losses that are worse... I was told of a 14 month old that died of crib death... too hard to even allow myself to imagine such a loss as that! There are always those that have it worse than us, to remind us that life is about taking those hurts and pain and put them to use in our lives... to empathize with those that suffer and put our effort into prayers for them and those in our domestic church - our family that face loss and pain. John certainly has taken facing death in brain cancer to find more compassion for others and has such a soft and caring place for all his sisters and brother-in-laws, and nieces and nephews... whether in the womb or here with us. I received such a beautiful note, that made me weep, the other day from his house mother at his fraternity, who spoke that John "is very wise and thoughtful about many things. I've been going to write you to tell you what a joy it is to have John here at Farmhouse. He makes me smile everyday." writes MaryAnn to his tearful mother! How I see that John has been softened and humbled as if he were chewed up and spit out... to put it in crude terms. He has a new and loving and caring perspective on life and family and all aspects of his faith! How he asked to find his faith for many years, and now he has! "I don't have anything big in my life to make me turn to my faith!" he would say.... well, that has all changed!
So many powerful feelings are filling me to the brim these days... related to John's healing! The experiences we had at Lisa's funeral and wake, where we met other parents of those that had lost their young 20something children to brain cancer and how they looked at John with the hunger to see someone who had not been killed by the enemy, but had life and a future in his eyes! Then to have a lady friend share with me that she had come to the mass where John was prayed over for healing with annointing by Fr Paul and also the prayer for healing with the relic of Venerable Solanus Casey... "I had had a stomache ailment of a few months, and I decided that I would ask for healing too! I was healed from that day forward!" I hugged her and thanked her profusely to know that this happened for her, and although John didn't go leaping down the ailes healed at that moment... many were touched to "see" a family that took prayer so seriously and could say that from that day they prayed for John and now he is healed! Prayer really is powerful, and really works! Now looking at the idea that this will be our 40th anniversary this Christmas of our family becoming Catholic... and the possibility of the priest - Fr Custodio - who gave us our instruction, coming to say mass for our family as we gather for Cross Christmas camp. John also remembers that Fr Custodio came to his hospital room in the first week of his scarey cancer journey and layed hands on him for healing... Who knows how all of the prayers and sacraments and saints and doctors and rosaries combined together to heal John? But he is today healed and tomorrow we expect to get only good news once again! Jesus, we trust in you!
Jesus, we love you and are filled with such wonder and awe at the wisdom of your amazing Church, and all those that have been with us on this journey called cancer/healing! All the ways that we have been ministered to as we walk the path of the Cross... through that Cross we have found healing, and resurrection in a new life of caring and compassion for all those in this world and around us that suffer! All of us have hurts and losses and we are reminded that there are always those that have greater pain than us. We need to look past our hurts and embrace our brother or sister next to us and that helps us to heal and find YOU! To see your face in those around us, and to cry out to you in our need - "Jesus, we are weak and lost and hurting... lift us onto your shoulders we are wandering and confused by the pain, and the lies of the world. We rejoice to know that we are yours, and that you want to share every part of our lives and each part of each day with us! Thank you for this year of anniversary and celebration of our coming to Your Church 40 years ago! We have your fingerprint on us and we are forever changed and transformed! Jesus, we love you and trust in you! Amen and Halleluia!
Bless-bless, Barb
"All the earth shall remember and return to the Lord,
all families of the nations worship before him
for the kingdom is the Lord's; he is ruler of the nations.
They shall worship him, all the mighty of the earth;
before him shall bow all who go down to the dust.
And my soul shall live for him, my children serve him.
They shall tell of the Lord to generations yet to come,
declare his faithfulness to peoples yet unborn:
'These things the Lord has done.' "
Psalm 22
"Reveal your might, O God, and come;
Descend to earth in magesty,
In magesty of poverty,
In power of humility."
Hymn to be sung to the tune of When I Survey the Wondrous Cross
St Andrew, on this your feastday... a humble fisherman, who answered the call to follow him even to death on an upside down cross. Pray for us!
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