Just in from feeding the bottle calves with John... Another beautiful day and are we ever grateful for the warm and sunny weather! Today we will finish getting the corn in and then a break in between the corn and the beans as it is a bit too early for them to go in. Now I think that would be happy to see some rain... in our part of the country we pretty much are always looking for rain and will take it anyway that we can get it! I think that Pat will get my garden tilled this afternoon with the new tiller... . the old one I could even use, but now I get to have my husband do it for me... I think that Ruth will get hers done too, so we can get the early things into the garden. Yesterday I picked some spinach and my first asparagus! How we love those fresh garden produce! I emptied two of my jars of homemade canned food last night and as the empty jars accumulate in my canning closet... it is a sign that canning is going to be here before we know it! My daughter, Maria and her family will be here tomorrow so I might have a few helpers to plant this year! That is so much more fun for me!
For some reason this year the memories of 4 years ago with Ruth are very powerful... today was the day that we drove to Sioux Falls to see Ruth for the first time after her surgery and brought her the kids. She wiped tears as she hugged her 20 month old son and held her baby for basically the first time and gave her from a bottle the milk she had pumped in her absence... she loved it! And the next time she was nursing like a trooper! Ruth is known as being a very peaceful and unflappable type person... She takes things in stride and rarely gets upset or worked up, and to see her wiping tears was a sign of all that she had been through in those hours and days! For her... she could still hold her healthy wonderful daughter... it is a reminder of a cousin recently... who lost their son in childbirth and was unable to hold their beautiful son...other than with copious tears and disbelief to say goodbye to him! So unbelievably hard! Thank the good Lord they recently had a wonderful baby daughter to hold and to love!
Some things are beyond our understanding and all we can do is cling to our faith and walk forward into life. What I have noticed when I have had horrible losses like when I lost my baby while I was up for my sister Mary's funeral at 28 yo from cancer... the world around us is going on as normal... totally oblivious to the pain and loss we are experiencing! The saying; "Life goes on." rings true at those times. I am sure you all have experienced similar feelings like looking at the eyes with such pain and loss and wondering how all these people in the world can be so unaware and feeling similarly! It does help to have all the support and love out poured... like at my sister's funeral to help you take that step from the deep grieving back into the flow of life! And then getting back into the activity that is called on us from day to day certainly does help with the healing also. So often you remember that keeping busy does help you out of that deep pit of sadness and even depression!
One thing that is so sad for me to see is how there is an epidemic of depression out there these days! When I work retreats I am the nurse many times and have to interview each participant as they come in... it is shocking to know how many young people are on meds for depresssion already at their young ages - from 16yo to the early 20s! Why is it so overwhelming for the young to face the world, their families, their school situation? Rather than getting to the bottom of the problems are they just medicating them? Where is the faith in the families when it comes to these hard things? Life is hard and the paschal mystery is how I look at the "crosses" that come along regularly in our lives... but without the cross there would not be the resurrection! We are called upon to embrace those crosses and to turn to our Lord... in our weakness He comes to us... Why? Because we look to him and turn to Him... He is there with us every step of our lives, but when we are going along just fine and dandy... we forget about him and are full of ourselves and our stuff and our own path that WE want for ourselves. There is so much more happiness to be found in His Way for us and His path for us and His call for us to be humble of heart and weak as lambs that he carries lovingly in His arms back to the fold!
I look at the lives of Little Sister Hallel and her community and the poverty that they embrace! It keeps all the clutter and the "things" from crowding in and allows them to turn to our Lord with song and prayer and His Word! Now there is happiness beyond telling! One thing that Little Sister Benedict shared with me on one of our trips with John and his cancer... when Susan first came from France to be with her family in the face of discovering that John had cancer... She shared that unlike some religious communities that do psychological testing to see if a man or woman is mentally good to enter the community... their foundress, Little Sister Marie, descided that she wouldn't do that and welcome those that feel called. "As a result there are many in our order that would not be accepted in others, but we have found that the life itself seems to help them to find a healing." To my earlier question about the epidemic of depression... I think that this is a powerful answer... daily Eucharist, prayer throughout the day, embracing the life of poverty, chastity and obedience and all that means... this is the road to healing!
Jesus we are immersed in John 6 and all that you have to tell us about your "gift".... "I am the bread of life; whoever comes to me will never hunger, and whoever believes in me will never thirst." Jn6:35-40 We are spiritually in need of you to walk with us and yes carry us as we are weak and confused and "lost". How we are unhappy when we stray and try to figure out our own lives... we find happiness and peace following the Truth and looking to the wisdom of your Church filled with those that you have raised up to lead us and show us your truth along with your Mother most Holy, all the angels and saints. St Anslem pray for us! Jesus we trust in You! Bless-bless, BArb
Some pictures of Ruth reunited with her little family 4 years ago today! Also of our final day of planting corn. Lord, continue to be with the farmers... protecting them and give them a good year ahead.
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