Walking through the house this morning after checking out the day through my huge front picture window... I had the strong sense of loss. Walking past the couch in the front of the house where John would sit with his phone and computer day after day and attempt to discover where he would find a job. He had tried the seminary for a year, and although it was amazing fellowship and growth in his faith life he felt that the studies were directing him away and down a path of the "real world" and finding a job after 5 years of college, a college degree in Ag Communications plus one year of minor seminary, a year off to fight the battle for his LIFE against the giant, brain cancer. And just as the ruddy brave youth, David, faced Goliath... John the young rock star faced down PCNSL - primary central nervous system lymphoma located in the center of his brain! The fact that it could take at least 5 more years of school and hard courses to reach priesthood - well, I can understand that it was a bit putting off, but as a mother I was very sad at his decision. So he was home for about 4 months job hunting and it was a humbling path... just as all of these last 4 years have been. Whenever John gives his talk and I am able to be there - I am struck by how much his humor and new-found humility is what draws those present in, and allows John to share from the heart and those present to take his message of healing and discovering Faith in his life after a half-hearted prayer.
Our two miracles have a deep bond of Faith.
It was a hard humbling summer with many hopes for jobs here and there - hearing over and over that they gave the job to someone else. Throughout it all John and I would share morning prayer/The Breviary/ The Office together. John had put an app on his phone, so we would find ourselves sharing breakfast and then before the checking of emails or making phone calls or going for interviews we would sit down and share prayer. This was something that first thing bright and early in the seminary they would gather in the beautiful chapel at St Paul Seminary to do morning prayer together. John shared during his year that he loved the fellowship with the other seminarians and the spiritual sharing day to day. So to have this deep sharing in prayer with John was a very wonderful gift for this old mom, and I miss it.
John at the State Fair a year before his battle with cancer.
John knew how hard it was for me to work at the Nursing home, and it was very sweet when he knew I was going to work. He would lay hands on me and pray fervently for me to do well and for things to be better for me. Things have gotten much better at work and I do give prayer so much credit. There is something very powerful about your son taking your hands and praying out loud with great feeling and trust that you will go forth with God! He still will pray with me on the phone from time to time, and I know that if there is a point where prayers are needed for myself or other needs - John and I are prayer partners, and have prayed long and hard together. At times it was me praying for him adding to this his half-hearted prayer for Faith, then it turned into prayers united as we faced the battle for the new John healed and brought to Faith! Now John prays for me! So powerful and I must say that prayers have been answered with my work situation getting much better! Thank you John for your prayers and Jesus for hearing them!
A cherished picture of Susan/Hallel and Therese - this was in Michigan and just a few months before Susan left to join the Community in France!
Talk about knowing that prayers are surrounding us and helping us on our way... Little Sister Hallel's prayers are always with us - it helps with the sense of loss we have in her inability to be part of our lives on a more day to day basis. Yet, she is! In her prayers and in the communion we share in the mass - united in Jesus through prayer and the Eucharist!
The last time that Hallel was with her family in Michigan - August 2008... a month later she left for France to become a postulant with the Community of the Lamb.
Her symbol of being totally consecrated/devoted to Mary - she had to remove it before going through the metal detectors at the airport. I think she gave it to Nancy. St Louis de Montfort is who is behind this total consecration -
I found these total consecration bracelets -
Babies David and Therese - how we rejoice with each new life and at this stage of my girl's lives it comes in wave after wave!
The Gospel today was hugely symbolic of John's brain cancer and how his friends lowered him into the presence of Jesus for healing! Yes, it is from Mark and is the paralytic being lowered through the hole they make in the roof over head to lower him down to Jesus as the crowd was all around him. I now see too in my sharing today that both John and Hallel too have lowered me into the presence of Jesus through their love and prayers for me! So we are all called to do this in our lives!
I remember the sadness I felt knowing that Hallel would no longer be along with us as we shared our special family times... Yet, I am deeply changed and blessed by her prayers and having her Community of the Lamb in our lives and hearts.
Jesus, All the prayers that fill my LIFE with YOU and those that you have blessed me with in my domestic Church/family! It is the communication of LOVE and it lowers me down into your presence when I feel sick and paralyzed by all that worries me and weighs me down. You say to me that my sins are forgiven and that is what frees me from the chains of sin and death and sickness. All I need do is come to you in the confessional and lay all those sins at your feet - YOU look at me with eyes of unconditional LOVE and Forgiveness, and say "I say to you, rise, pick up your mat, and go home." Mark 2: 1-12 We do as you tell us and are amazed that we are healed although we are weak and underserving of this! May the Mercy You show us now be the Mercy we share with all those we encounter. Lord, bless very specially this TEC retreat happening this weekend! May all attending come closer to YOU now and forever more. Jesus, we trust in YOU. Amen and Hallelujah
Luke - ittle uke - his nickname thanks to Gus who cannot say the "L" just stopped in to give grandma a sweet picture to share - big sister Rose made sure that he brought his friend the squirrel along for the ride. They do look very good together!
Bless-bless, Barbara Luke
"Upon hearing the Gospel story of the rich young man read in Church one day, St Anthony the Great sold all he had and abandoned a comfortable life for the solitude of the desert. He inspired countless men and women to follow his example of prayer and asceticism, to attune the heart to hear the word of God and live it intensely." See www.magnificat.com
A group snuggle is soft and warm on a cold winters' day!
Danielle Rose - See you in the Eucharist -a song she wrote before entering the convent to discern her call
her beautiful emotional explanation of how we are together in the Eucharist!
Sideways but big Dave singing of his love for his parents and for Jesus this summer
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