I just went to a caringbridge site for a young boy - 10 years old - who is fighting a brain tumor. His family just went to Pittsburg to start a trial to slow down the growth of this fatal tumor, and give him some quality of life. I read the mother's sharing, with a deep sense of sadness, at how her son is being put through so much, and how hard it is for all of them, and also the underlying fear that they might lose their precious son! It is so hard to watch your son suffer, and to let go... knowing that God is in control. That is something that I was reminded of within the first hours of John's scary journey. We called France to tell Hallel, before we headed off to Sioux Falls, and then to the Cities and then to Mayo, and back and forth and back and forth... in other words before we followed the winding path called cancer/healing. Hallel/Susan listened to our words describing "something abnormal" in John's brain, and then calmly reminded me what the Gospel reading had been that day... it was Father's day Sunday June 2009... "Yes, it was Jesus calming the sea." I answered her. "Well, mom this is the storm, and Jesus is in control." It seemed that with that reminder the storm within me immediatly found a peace, and I felt calm - knowing that Jesus was carrying us throughout the wind, rain, tossing ship in the waves over our heads... not only that but he stood up to all of the natural chaos, and put up his hand and said; 'Quiet! Be still!' and the wind died down and it was completely calm." Mark 4: 35-41 I know that sitting here now... with my healthy son outside helping his dad, after sharing breakfast and morning prayer... it seems like I can have no idea what this mother is facing with her young son... but you had better believe that each of us pray daily, without fail, for John's continued healing, and we will be going once again on March 1 to have the scan and blood work... to make sure that it continues to be GONE! We have so many tell us that they continue to pray for John every day also, and we always thank them and ask them to continue, for we know that we need those prayers, and rely on them to keep on the path of healing/faith in HIM being in control!
It has been a joy to have John home for this lengthy holiday break. He gives us so much happiness, and we enjoy being together... after our very close times throughout the cancer journey from Father's day 2009 through the following summer of recouperation after the stem cell transplant... then he was off to the U of M and living in his fraternity...he has found his new normal. He will be graduating this spring, and then asks the Lord to direct him into the future He has for him, and I feel very strongly that it will be an amazing one. While I am writing this... I am starting to hope and pray that with the farm here and his brother in law showing an interest, and some prospects he has to get into insurance with a person that we very much look up to from church... and knowning how he loves to be close to family... Well, it sure would be a dream come true to have him come back here. But he will have to read it here to know that I am hoping for this... I will just keep praying and hoping that this could be the plan the Lord has in store for him. Jesus, we know that you have saved John's life for a big purpose, but then every person in this world has a big purpose in your eyes...to walk always with you as LIGHTS to the world... we place him in your hands and trust.
"Only the childlike retain the child's gift of wonder. Wondering we forget ourselves entirely, lost in what has provoked our awe. Wondering is the wellspring of praise. We have reason for our praise: we are God's children, made in his image." see
http://www.magnificat.com/ This is such a wonderful thought for today from morning prayer in our Magnificat prayer book! May we always stand in wonder of Jesus in our lives, and his Bride the Church... together their heart's desire is to help us get to heaven, and to find eternal life, and the Kingdom of God here on earth - within our domestic church - our family! All we need do is say "yes" to all the wisdom and teachings of our amazing Church! Without hesitation to love and follow the path of LIFE and LOVE! "How great is your name, O Lord our God, through all the earth.
Your majesty is praised above the heavens;
on the lips of children and of babes
you have found praise to foil your enemy,
to silence the foe and the rebel.
When I see the heavens, the work of your hands,
the moon and the stars which you arranged,
what is man that you should keep him in mind,
mortal man that you should care for him?
How great is your name, O Lord our God, through all the earth!"
Psalm 8
Dear Lord, so many people are finding the storm at their door or around their boat in the midst of the sea... may they realize that you are there, and you are in control and find the peace and calm they need to face the chaos around them. We especially lift up Gage and his family to you... as they are carried by you. We thank you for these wonderful days with our healed son, and we are filled with thankfulness and wonder at the new John we have been gifted with - one who has a new depth and humility. We fall on our knees with each day, and ask for his continued healing, and that the path laid out before him will become clear - although it is narrow and the Cross is on his shoulder, we know that he is looking to you to guide him and be with him. You want to share every moment of his life with him... as you do for each one of us! May we be filled with childlike acceptance and wonder at each day opens up before us. Use us to your honor and glory now and forever. Jesus, we trust in you. Amen and Halleluia
Bless-bless, Barb
"I am begging you, since it is so delightful, never let any trouble or temptation the devil might give you make you look back; never let your soul give in to sadness or discouragement,for the devil would like nothing better. He likes to give us lots of annoyances and different sorts of struggles... He doesn't do this thinking we will fall at the first stroke, but only to lead us to unreasonable sadness and discouragement... we become frustrated with ourselves and abandon our spiritual practices, thinking that God must not be pleased or satisfied with what we have been doing, since we are experiencing so much darkness and coldheartedness.... Then the devil is happy, because he sees we are ready to be led into despair - and this is one way he can get us.
For if the sins there are were collected in my one body, and I still had true hope and lively faith in infinite mercy, nobody would be able to keep me from receiving and sharing the fruit of the blood of God's Son."
St Catherine of Siena (1380) Doctor of the Church
Thinking about the good that the medical doctors did John assisted by so many hundreds of thousands of prayers... I see that this Doctor of the Church just ministered to my soul - to trust in HIM no matter what difficulties come! I think that Doctor is the most imporant to our eternal souls, don't you?
"Only the childlike retain the child's gift of wonder. Wondering we forget ourselves entirely, lost in what has provoked our awe. Wondering is the wellspring of praise. We have reason for our praise: we are God's children, made in his image." see http://www.magnificat.com/ This is such a wonderful thought for today from morning prayer in our Magnificat prayer book! May we always stand in wonder of Jesus in our lives, and his Bride the Church... together their heart's desire is to help us get to heaven, and to find eternal life, and the Kingdom of God here on earth - within our domestic church - our family! All we need do is say "yes" to all the wisdom and teachings of our amazing Church! Without hesitation to love and follow the path of LIFE and LOVE! "How great is your name, O Lord our God, through all the earth.
Bless-bless, Barb
Thank you for writing and reminding of me of "Jesus calming the storm" and how He is with us through our storms in life. Incidently, I believe Gage is only 8, maybe 9 with his winter birthday. So young! If you read his guestbook, you will find a link to a site to anouther young girl about his age, named Peighton, struggling wtih brain tumors. Don't let all of those stories get you down though, John is our hope and survivor!
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