John with his therapy dog, Lilly... A year and a half ago when John was struggling with his brain cancer, our farmdog, Lilly, was deathly ill. After a trip to the vet and many medications sent home to try to cure her mystery farmdog disease... John nursed her day and night... it was amazing therapy for him to think about her needs and not dwell on himself! Now she is healthy and loves to come in for a warm snuggle with John and any little child that is in the area... With the 5 grandkids all here for almost a week - she got a lot of pats and snuggles in her brief time in the house. Today John is leaving after a long and wonderful time at home on break from college... he will be working a TEC retreat as one of the spiritual directors! My prayers and thoughts will be there with him every moment of the three days that he will be there. I know that with the suffering and compassion he has gained in the last year and a half - his confused and troubled heart has been washed clean through the blood of the cross and he has been able to "see God" as never before in his life!
No, we didn't go back out to see the cows... this is the same trip that we made a couple days ago... It was so cute and special that I am sharing more from that day as I write to you today... John had struggled with "feeling anything" about his faith for years... "I don't feel anything. I have had nothing in my life that has made me turn to what I believe." Well, that all changed on Father's Day a 2009... After a CT scan we were told that there was something abnormal in his brain and we were sent to Sioux Falls... We were filled with fear and shock! Calling France to talk to his sister,Susan/Hallel, we were reminded by her that we should remember the Gospel for that day about Jesus calming the storm. "Mom this is the storm and Jesus is in control!" We found the peace and amazement that God was with us, much like the disciples in the boat did, from that point on! 
Yesterday, I was cleaning out a closet, and found all of the girl's letter jackets - all 4 girls swam on the swim team and proudly wore their letter jackets. Coming across Susan's - I wondered what to do, and Maria gave me direction to just put it in the closet in her room for now. Hanging out of the pocket was a friendhsip bracelet that was mostly finished with some colored string unfinished... there was such a feeling about it like Susan's life captured in the middle of her activities, and now she is far away! I cried rivers when John sweetly asked me to tie it around his wrist, and I knew it was because he missed her as much as I do, and this small piece of her was something that he wanted close to him, and to "feel and see her through this small piece of string, that she had made as a friendship and love bracelet just for her little brother, that she loves so much, and I know that she spends much of her time each day praying for him, and his continued healing, and maybe even that the Lord might call him to a vocation!
The tears are once again making this a foggy job...John and I talked about how he feels that she is the "good one of the bunch." I started to agree and then thinking of each of my kids...I quickly said that I disagree with that! John said; "Well, I am one of the bunch... and I say that she is the good one of us!" He told me that I had never seen Susan the way that he was allowed to see her at school, for the one year that they were in the high school together. There was one way that I was allowed to get a view from John's perspective. He wrote a great story at the beginning of the following year, for his English class, that for some unknown reason I was able to read, and keep forever in my heart - it was called Mama Bluey, and it was about the old blue minivan that they would drive to school together, and "head butt" to Christian music... with no concern that they were driving a very uncool car. He spoke about how he missed her terribly, and how she was so amazing to watch as she smiled at and included one and all, as she walked down the hall in her joyful and nonjudging way! How he looked up to her care, and concern, and including all in her love for them, without any holdbacks or concern for self! 
"Mom, you are going to make me cry too! I know that she is happy and even though we miss her - she is with the one person that she loves more than us - her spouse, Jesus Christ!" A small friendship bracelet hanging out of her letter jacket, was a sign of her love and prayers for us... I am so confident of those prayers, and have started lately to know that they are giving me graces and strength to face all of life's difficulties! How many of us can say that we have a daughter, who has devoted her life to prayer, and mass, and adoration every day... and knowing that she is lifting up all of us in those many prayers? It is a powerful and wonderful thing, and I know that she is aware of issues that come up in our huge family - I am the oldest of 11 and Pat the middle of 10 - and that those are included in her prayers! Such a gift, and it gives me so much comfort, and peace, and Hope that all will work out! 
The two religious communities that we have had close contact with, through our two daughters that have lived with them... their hearts are very much protected from evil distractions... that we have to deal with out here through so much... TV, computer, magazines, books, people that we come in contact with...I still see that Maria, who decided not to stay with the Poor Clares after 5 months with them... she strives to keep her heart clean by not having TV or internet in her home, and she has pointed out to me, and helped me to face the evil I was allowing in my heart and mind by reading one trashy romance novel after another some years back! To see her look me in the eye, and ask me not to do that.... it makes a mother "see God," and His desire for me to cultivate and protect my heart... so that it can be washed clean and remain that way! There is so much more joy and excitement in my life now, with the wonderful gifts found in spiritual reading, and morning and evening prayer - see http://www.magnificat.com/ 
I have to say that each time we read a lesson and teach it to our 9th grade confirmation class... I find the book we use to be very interesting, and I learn too! I have discovered this when I have worked with RCIA too, and sit in on the classes. There is never a lack of growing and learning in our amazing Church! How I would encourage anyone to teach, or be involved in RCIA, or just get some books about saints, or written by amazing converts like Scott Hahn! We talked about the parables last night... "Jesus told them often and had a surprising twist, to shock people who were hearing them into a new way of seeing things." The Catholic Faith Handbook for Youth - one parable that I have always loved the most was mentioned - the Prodigal Son... They mentioned that in the Jewish culture it was felt that the father should disown his son after he had squandered his inheritance like that..." In contrast to what the religious leaders of Jesus' time taught, the parable teaches that any sinner who repents is welcome in the Kingdom of God."
The idea of forgiveness for one and all, and no matter what, if there is repentance, comes out so strongly in what Jesus came to show us and teach us! This love and unconditional forgiveness... can be the hardest with those that we live with day after day - the ones closest to us in our immediate families! Those little annoying things, that become so big and consuming, and we just cannot get past them in our hearts and minds... How we need to bring to mind the love that Jesus protrayed for us here on earth! Once again today in the Gospel of Mark 1:40-45 - the leper kneels before him for healing and to "make me clean." Jesus's answer we need to be reminded of often - "I do will it. Be made clean." He is saying it to you and me... we need to then follow his instructions to "go, show yourself to the priest." It is a powerful reminder that we are to frequent reconcilliation, and truly open up our deepest darkest and most unclean places, and "show" them to the priest.. so that as a representative of Christ here on earth he may forgive us, and wash us clean! In order to maintain that clean heart we need to protect, and guard it from evil influences, and when we fail... come to the confessional often for forgiveness and healing! 
John will have many sacraments this weekend at TEC - there is reconcilliation the first night there, after focusing on the things that we have allowed to seperate us from the love of God for each one of us - He died on the cross for you and for me! He is standing there with his loving and forgiving arms open wide with His heart burning with LOVE for us! His nailscarred hands are proof in such a graphic way of that suffering love! He suffered the most brutal death imaginable and he is God! Jesus, there are so many amazing ways that you touch us with your grace and love! The sacraments of your Church, are the out of this world ways, that we can come to you as the Prodigal son over and over, and be welcomed back and forgiven and embraced as Your Son! "Trust Him! Trust Him! Trust Him in the morning, trust him in the noontime! Trust Him! Trust Him! Trust him when the sun goes down!" I just was singing our "Jesus" song with 1 year old, Davey, as he clapped and bounced up and down with a huge grin on his face... It seemed appropriate to have as part of my prayer here also! Amen and Halleluia! 
Bless-bless, Barb"Suffering is an extreme remedy which either cures the evil or makes it worse, which strengthens or kills. Both the physician's perscription and his attendance are necessary. 'Unhappy is he,' says St Bernard,'who carries the cross of Jesus but who is not with Jesus.'...
We console a person by sympathizing with his grief; but especially by showing him its beauty." Fr Antonin Gilbert Sertillagnes, O.P.
"Jesus! Jesus! Jesus in the morning, Jesus in the noontime! Jesus! Jesus! Jesus, when the sun goes down!"
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