As we were reading night prayer before bed last night, this amazing verse cried out to me! "You saw how the Lord, your God, carried you, as a man carried his child, all along your journey until you arrived at this place." Dt 1:31 It all becomes very clear to us,when life comes crashing down on us hard, and we realize that we are weak and helpless in the face of something HUGE and UGLY like brain cancer!
We had an unexpected breakfast with Ruth, Mary and David this morning... driving through some drifts to get there, and now school will be let out early. Grandma grabbed her camera to snap a few. Maria took David and Therese to Wisconsin for a week to see the other set of grandparents, so I am short of pictures, other than blasts from the past... so it was super fun to find a "new snowman" that Mary had made in preschool yesterday, and brought home in her backpack on the fridge - with Mary in her snowman pajamas that grandma had given her for Christmas...it was a fun time for grandma, with her camera, as we shared french toast and visited with Ruth and the kids! 
We also put the two kitties in the van and took them along to get some mauling by the kids... as they are here with the two old folks now, and need some kid time! Curious George seems to be interesting to both kid and cat! ..... So often as we were going through the year and a half journey of cancer/healing... we were reminded of how much we turn to God in our lives when they are beyond our control! What a lesson that should be to us in the good times too! We are not in control of our lives - God is! Getting self sufficient and "making" things happen in our lives so that we can climb the social ladder of the financial ladder... it might be fun at the time and make us feel good,but it also makes us turn away from God and become self centered and self absorbed! 
I am forever reminded of Susan/Hallel telling me about the first "mission" she went on with the little Sisters and Brothers of the Lamb. A month or so after she had returned from her year of studying in Rome, and was introduced to the community there... falling in love with them. They had been invited by the Archbishop from Kansas City to consider coming and openning their first foundation - House here in the U.S. So they had decided to come for a few weeks and do a "mission" - where they go to poor areas and knock on doors, begging for their food,and representing Christ. Susan knew when they would be here and went to join them! She, in the blazing heat... joined them, and teamed up with another little sister, and went to doors knocking and asking for food if they could spare any, but also for any prayer requests or spiritual needs they might have. She came home saying that it was one of the most difficult things that she had ever done, 'but, mom,when I am with them I have so much joy!"
I will never forget her describing the food they were given at different places, and sitting down to eat their meal,when they had gathered it... they realized that the can of tuna,they had been given at one place needed to be opened. So they had to go and knock on another door and ask them to open the can for them! It struck me about how we struggle in our lives to be totally self sufficient,so that we do not need to bother anyone for anything. Every little thing that we need, in order to not have to humble ourselves to ask for help. That would be too hard for us, and we don't want to find ourselves in that position! Pride is a big piece of this...I think! Think of how many more people we would encounter and speak to and have a part of our lives - day to day - if we needed to go to them to ask for help with opening a can of tuna or food to eat...And if we go to them with the LOVE and WORD of God within us... think of how compassionate and caring we could be as they open up and in turn humbly share their difficulties with us!
We spend so much money and hours shopping for every possible convenience or thing to make our lives more easy and so that we need nothing from anyone... But we also get all the ways that distract us from the time spent with others - sharing our faith and with them in community of Christ's Body and Bride - The Church! The Community of the Lamb, just as the cloistered Poor Clares, with whom Maria lived for 5 monthes discerning a call to religious life... has no TV or even radio or newspaper... I know that the Poor Clares do not have internet either - only the telephone is their line to the outside world,and when they are at prayer they do not have an answering machine - they take it off the hook! They feel that you should talk to one of them when you call with your prayer requests, and they are phone counselors extraordiary! The times we have called with needs - we are blown away by their beautiful sharing of the beauty and love and concern that Jesus has for us! Their lives are spent in prayer for the world and all of its' needs - I would hate to think of the mess that the world would be in without all of those prayers! They truly are a living example of prayer and Love of Christ in that constant back and forth communication of Love - He is truly within them with every beat of their heart, and every breath that they take.... "Jesus, Jesus, Jesus, Jesus...." Do not hesistate to give them a call for your needs and be ministered to in the most amazing way - 1-320-251-3556. If the phone is busy - know that they are deep in prayer with their loving spouse! 
Susan/Hallel is also daily deep in prayer as they are also a contemplative community - one devoted to daily prayers throughout the day,along with mass and adoration. They rely totally on the providence or on God to supply their needs and much like their founder, ST Dominic... they are a begging order! There is nothing much more humbling than to go door to door begging, and early on Little Sister Marie, their foundress, was told that she should beg from the poor! I have shared in the past that she was so confused that the Lord would ask this of her, and then she was shown the story in the Bible of I Kings about the widow, who Elijah asked to make him a loaf of bread... it was in the midst of a terrible famine and she was just about to make the last loaf of bread for her and her son, and then they were going to die from starvation. But Elijah tells her to make it for him, and their jar will never run out of flour or oil... She with faith does as he asks and they are miraculously fed after that...I Kings 17:8-24... In finding this in prayer - little Sister Marie knew that she was truly being asked to "knock on the door of the poor representing Christ knocking." They give to them from what little they have and have shared that they have been blessed as a result! 
There is a powerful story, we have heard since they came and openned their house in KC... now they are fundraising to build a "little monastery" in the heart of our country! So needed and such an answer to prayers for the terrible mess we are in with the gods of money and convenience, and the culture of death cultivated with the blood of innocent life of the unborn and the elderly! To have them put down roots in our country, and to bring Christ in such a powerful way to us... we are being saved one soul at a time! Every time I write them I send another check to help toward their goal! How I want them here! They are making a difference,and then there is a chance that Hallel will be 7 hours away and not an ocean and a huge plane trip away! Yes,I am a bit selfish in this,but I am also very aware of the needs we face all around us! 
"Like a shepherd he feeds his flock; in his arms he gathers the lambs, carrying them in his bosom..." Isaiah 40: 10-11 So much today swirling through my mind, soul and spirit! We are humbled by many things in life - but these times and experiences are what makes us realize that we are nothing but weak helpless lambs and the wolves are surrounding us... He comes to the rescue to scoop us up in the nick of time and carry us forward along the path He has laid out ahead of us - just for us! We have found ourselves on a cliff of healing with John, and it is a bit scarey up there and we find it hard to trust and believe that the cancer is truly gone... But HE comes to comfort us and to carry us higher up the mountain to His Holy Temple at the top! 
Jesus, we stand at the door and knock - you open with great joy and love and mercy - you tend to all our burdens... all we need to do is lay them at your feet with much sorrow and seeking your forgiveness! We are so sorry, Lord, for the times that we forget how much we need you to find the Truth to happiness in our lives. Humble us,Lord, so that we see clearly that we need you and cannot LIVE without YOU in our lives! Jesus, we trust in you! Amen and Halleluia!
Bless-bless, Barb
"Peace be to this house!"
"Whatever house you go into, let your first words be, 'Peace be to this house!"" Luke 10:5
This was what the Lord told us to do. The Apostles said these words, and so did our fathers, St Dominic and ST Francis, when they went out to beg for bread.
But it isn't easy for me to say "Peace be to this house!" Deep inside myself I have to ask, "Why do you think you are to pronounce this blessing?" But I say it all the same, knowing that I do not knock on doors on my own behalf, but sent by Him, through the office of His Church. So it is with humility and love that I bring out the words, "Peace be with this house!"
Laura tells us to come in. Widowed two years ago,she now lives in this small house with her two children,and her friend Teresa. While Laura prepares supper, Teresa shows us her bedroom. "Come and see my little altar!"
Above the image of Our Lady of Guadalupe there is a picture of Jesus, dressed as a pilgrim, knocking at the door. In front of her little altar Teresa begins to cry. She tells us about the death of her mother, back home in Mexico. She wasn't able to go back and spend her mother's final days with her. She didn't have the documents that would have allowed her to return afterwards to the US. Moved, we prayed with her.
"Today, Teresa, Jesus sent us to knock at your door. He remains in your house, and He will bring you peace."
Later, Laura serves supper. We continue to talk. Suddenly she says - twice - with conviction; "I don't know what is happening, but I feel great peace, within myself, and in the house!"
"And if a man of peace lives there, your peace will go and rest on him." Luke 10:6
Lord, You are the one who stands at the door and knocks. It is You who bless our houses with your peace. It is You who are our peace."
Little Echoes of the mission in the U. S. of the Community of the Lamb June 19-July 10, 2006
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