First thing this morning we headed out to pick up bales... Pat and John headed out first and I a bit later with the pickup and the smaller bale wagon behind.
It felt really good to walk around the yard and see how things have changed over the last 3 weeks! My garden has flourished and grown immensely!
In the early morning the squash blossoms are huge and glorious - these three were an amazing gift to behold today! Quite a bit larger than the tiny one in the yard in El Paso. I brought in an armload of yellow squash and Zuchini and we had a wonderful lunch with food just growing moments before in the garden! How I love that!
My arms were full of squash, but my heart was heavy with regret and I pondered all that I have been sharing and sharing and sharing these past 3 weeks. Yes, I see that it probably came across as bragging and overboard, and I apologize for that. I do get carried away with the gifts we are given and to have the most precious of those gifts all together for the first time drove me to near madness. I went overboard and I know now that it was hard and bragging and I was being prideful. Humility is what we are called to in our lives and I have a very long way to go!
My Mary garden now has the first pig on our place, and there is nothing much more humble than a pig... I also pondered the example of Our Lady as I wandered around the yard this morning with my squash in arms. She certainly did not promote herself or her family... that is until the wedding of Cana and then she told her Son, Jesus, that it was time to get started with his ministry and she told we, his servants, to do whatever he tells us to do! I guess that I just feel that there are certain lessons and stories in my lifetime and my marriage and my farmwife life and my love of The Church life and on and on. Yes, I repeat them and I hold them close in my heart pondering them much as Mary did. The difference with me is that I have his blog and this opportunity to share and share and share - yes, it can become humanly braggy and prideful and redundant, and I apologize for that and I will try to do better. I need to take into account that I am very lucky to have those weeks with my children and grandchildren... Don't get me wrong it can be very hard at times and trying with the bickering among the toddlers and the tears and tantrums and the meals and clean up and the cold weather and the mosquitoes and the yearning for peace and quiet and our homes and our husbands and on and on. I probably paint an overly rosy picture and brag too much about the good times.
Oh, that squash tasted so good! I have lots and am willing to share, too.
Today in the Gospel Jesus is being pursued by the Pharisees, who are trying to kill him..."he withdrew from that place. Many people followed him, and he cured them..." Matthew 12
There is also a quote from Isaiah in the Gospel today and what struck me was how it describes Jesus being so concerned for others - "A bruised reed he will not break, a smoldering wick he will not quench" I see that some of what I share here could hurt those that are in a different place of loss of suffering and I am just heaping more pain on them. I will attempt to back off and be not quite as overwhelming in the future. Lord, forgive and help me.
Lord, I am needing to look to the example of your humble beautiful Mother this day and with each new day. Yes, it is alright to share my joy, but not to the point that it rubs others and hurts others. I ask you this day for renewed humility to replace the pride I have allowed to come over me. Please forgive my thoughtless rambling on and on and on about what we are saying and doing. May I truly be more thoughtful and less prideful. Jesus, may I give more and more without counting the cost. Jesus, I trust in YOU. Amen and Hallelujah
Bless-bless, Barb| Jesus...! How great
is your humility, O divine King of Glory, in submitting yourself to all your
priests without distinguishing between those who love you and those who, alas!,
are lukewarm or cold in your service. You come down from heaven at their call;
they can make the hour of the holy sacrifice earlier or later, but you are
always ready. O my Beloved, how meek and humble of heart (Mt 11,29) you seem to
me beneath the veil of the little, white
host. You could not have humbled yourself more to teach me humility; in the same way, in response to your love, I want to desire that my sisters should always set me in the lowest place and to be able to convince myself that this place is truly mine... I know, O my God, that you cast down the proud soul but give an eternity of glory to those who humble themselves. I want, then, to set myself in the lowest place, sharing your humiliation so as to «have an inheritance with you» (Jn 13,8) in the Kingdom of Heaven. Yet, Lord, you know my weakness. Each morning I take up my resolution to practice humility and, by evening, I realise I have still committed many failings of pride. Seeing this, I am tempted to discouragement. However, as I well know, discouragement is also an act of pride! And so, O my God, what I want to do is to base all my hope on you alone. You can do all things, so be pleased to bring to birth in my soul the virtue I am looking for. And to obtain this grace from your infinite mercy, I will say repeatedly: «O Jesus, meek and humble of heart: make my heart gentle and humble as yours!» |
A quote of St Therese on humility!
Danielle Rose - Litany of humility
Laura Story - Blessings
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