Saturday, May 30, 2015

"lest you forget..." Dueteronomy 8:11 Blessed Virgin Mary never does!

 Making pies with the grandkids yesterday I had many curious helpers... Luke and Rose helping me pat down the crumb crust on top.  We have already eaten two of the 4 with many big and littles eating here yesterday.  A true farm day with dinner at noon and supper at night and lunch in between.  We are in the midst of breeding many so lots of time watching and locking up and AIing! 

I am in the midst of wave after wave of LIFE filling me with wonder and awe at how I am in between two worlds here and Heaven!  I am aware that I am overly involved in the 7 little ones I have in heaven, and now 3 grandchildren joining them.  I have heard that there is a possibility that maybe I suffered from post partum and it never was dealt with so that is why they are with me on this journey.  I would want it no other way, and I feel that they are in heaven to pray for me and help me on this journey of LIFE/LOVE/LIGHT, and it just shows how much help I need!  Why now so strongly?  I recalled that 4 years ago Maria was here to meet newborn Gus and lost her baby, and now Nancy at the same time and with much the same experience!  Was it actually the same day?  Looking back Maria lost hers on June 3 and Nancy a few days ago on May 28th!

Maria showing me a picture of her baby at 6 weeks in the ultrasound taken when she started spotting while here visiting Nancy with her newborn, Augustine, 4 years ago- the baby had a heartbeat!  She lost it a few days later here at home, and then returned to her husband in Missouri.  We didn't dare travel back due to her uncertain pregnancy.  Now 4 years later we have just, once again, had an early loss with Nancy, who was 6-8 weeks along with a baby with a heartbeat.  She lost it hours later.  She is already getting pressure to say that she is glad that this happened and to forget this small glitch and concentrate on the 3 little ones she has.  Of course, she knows that she is blessed to have her children, and to still be nursing her youngest son, who will be 1 in a few weeks, but we feel so strongly about all LIFE that we grieve their loss to us.  We do, however, feel that they are in a better place with Our Lord and The Blessed Virgin Mary in heaven, and that they continue to be in our lives calling us to look to heaven and praying for our journey to get there and meet them and join them!

 I prayed so hard that my girls would not have to go through this, as I did 6 times with my 7 losses - one was 2 sacks, so I call them twins- yet, I am coming to realize that it powerfully keeps us focused on heaven!  I have named all mine - Christopher, Thomas, Joseph, Paul, William, Robert, and Mary.  I thought that I couldn't carry girls and then John snuck in there and the last one I was hopeful that if it were a girl I would not lose it... not to be.  How I longed to have one more after John to show the world that I didn't quit because I had finally had my boy.  The answer was no to that, too! 
 Rose helping grandma cut the pie crust dough.

Maria getting roses from her husband to show his love and support in the midst of such powerful emotions and LIFE events 4 years ago...

In the midst of my pondering this day of these oceans that run so deep in me... the Biblical words lest you forget came to me... I googled it
Deuteronomy 8:11-18English Standard Version (ESV)
11 “Take care lest you forget the Lord your God by not keeping his commandments and his rules and his statutes, which I command you today, 12 lest, when you have eaten and are full and have built good houses and live in them, 13 and when your herds and flocks multiply and your silver and gold is multiplied and all that you have is multiplied, 14 then your heart be lifted up, and you forget the Lord your God, who brought you out of the land of Egypt, out of the house of slavery, 15 who led you through the great and terrifying wilderness, with its fiery serpents and scorpions and thirsty ground where there was no water, who brought you water out of the flinty rock, 16 who fed you in the wilderness with manna that your fathers did not know, that he might humble you and test you, to do you good in the end. 17 Beware lest you say in your heart, ‘My power and the might of my hand have gotten me this wealth.’ 18 You shall remember the Lord your God, for it is he who gives you power to get wealth, that he may confirm his covenant that he swore to your fathers, as it is this day. "

This is so true for me!  My little ones - now adding grandchildren to that number/prayer army/LIFE force in heaven - cannot be forgotten or left behind for me as they remind me every day of where I am headed and how I need Jesus and His Bride, The Church, each day to get there!  My 5 here with me do give me so much JOY to share our Faith, love of Family and openness to LIFE and raising LIGHTS in The Church... but to have that other foot over into Heaven with my now 10 there is where I keep knowing that I surely need help to get there, and lots of it!  I need to get out of the way so that the Holy Spirit may use me, and I do feel that sharing this message is an important one in this world where LIFE is not valued and babies are killed in the womb!
 Luke making tire marks in my pie crust!  How I love that as it reminds me of my little Johnie getting his cars and tractors every time I made pies to make tracks through the flour as I rolled out crusts! 
My JOY is to have such wonderful chances to have a fresh wave of LIFE engulf me!  Even the hard ones of losing LIFE to heaven and making that army stronger!  

Saturdays in The Church we celebrate the greatness/humbleness of The Blessed Virgin Mary!  How appropriate in my ponderings today and the emotional state I am in due to once again sharing this deep experience of a short LIFE in our wombs with another one of my daughters!  From the Magnificat this day in morning prayer;
God wills that everyone be saved: set free, made whole, brought to the joy of the kingdom.  Mary pondered and did the will of  God not reluctantly, out of a sense of martyred duty, but with her whole heart, in delight.  see www.magnificat.com
How I long to do this better in the ups and downs of LIFE/LOVE/LIGHT!
Nancy with baby Gus Gus 4 years ago...  Happy Feast day today, Nancy Anna Joan of Arc! 
Arc
Such a strong patron Saint - turn to her and The Blessed Virgin Mary to fight for you in the battle for Truth in this world that LIFE is a gift to be protected and cherished no matter the cost!
 
Jesus, I am yours and only long to do your will in all that comes to me with my life journey.  The Cross is to be embraced to find LIFE/LOVE/LIGHT/Jesus as we go forward down the narrow path.  Lest we forget that we are nothing without you and all that we gain in this world other than our Faith and our Family is worth nothing.  May we die to self so that the Holy Spirit may work in us and use us to change the world/the culture of death into a culture of LIFE.  We are weak and we need you, O Lord.  Jesus, we trust in you.  Amen and Hallelujah
John 4 years ago watching for heat with Lilly and curious cow.  Today they are out AIing many... the cycle of LIFE around and around.  Bless-bless, Barbara Luke
Saint quote #1
John's Patron Saint Augustine is always a good one! 
Yes!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 
I love this and it is why my little ones assist me in longing to join them someday!

Isaiah 49:15New International Version (NIV)

15 “Can a mother forget the baby at her breast
    and have no compassion on the child she has borne?
Though she may forget,
    I will not forget you!"
One more for today!  Just as we are not forgotten how can any of our little ones be forgotten by us? 
Holy Mother - Eric Clapton... he was in the depths of despair due to drug addiction and found comfort each day since from Mary!
Holy Mother - Eric Clapton and Pavarotti
Danielle Rose - Memorarie - Hail Holy Queen Mother of Mercy Our LIGHT our Sweetness and our HOPE!

From Maria's blog today of the kids bowling with dad!

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