I am shakily sitting here - really getting in touch with just how poorly I TRUST! My body is showing me that even though I say the words and try to talk the talk that I am not really handling things very well. I ended up in the ER last evening - John drove me in, sat in the chair beside the exam table, held my hand, and told me that it is much harder being in that chair than the one in the bed! I am not really convinced of that though! We were both in shock at the turn of events as I and his dad had just rushed to his side two days before! John had suddenly developed stroke symptoms and a splitting headache, and was rushed by ambulance to St Joseph's hospital in St Paul! We were praying as though our son's life depended on it on the way to the Cities... knowing that he was in the MRI tube and that they were looking for a stroke! I got so filled with worry that Pat had to take over the driving and I just clutched to my rosary as though it was my lifeline - as it certainly is! Then the call saying that his brain was totally clear,and the relief yet questions to what it could be!?!?
What a miracle to be walking around with our restored son the next day in Rochester! The scary symptoms were totally gone! We learned that he was SMART! That's a good thing, right? It stands for Stroke like symptoms related to Migraine resulting from Radiation Treatments. As scarey as it was - there was no sign that anything had happened in the brain - it was beautiful and clean and clear! When we met with his doctor... the one that told us through an email that we should come to Mayo to be treated when we were looking at a very scary chemo at the U of M... another bullet dodged! He is super smart and does research in Neurology, and he taught the doctors at St Joseph something that they didn't know - "We learned something today!" they told John and Pat the next morning, as we packed to leave for Rochester. We were that much more reminded of the good hands that we are in there! This man, who always makes time to see John and keep up on what he is doing - #1 congratulated him on graduating college, #2 laughed when John told him that he was selling life insurance and that John is unable to get it himself - His selling point is "look what happened to me! You never know what lies around the corner!" #3 told us about SMART and how it will probably come back in the future, but will not have lasting effects for John. #4 Asked me how many rosaries I had said in the last day... Lots! #5 We are so grateful to him for being an instrument of the Lord is directing us where we were supposed to be 3 years ago, and for the healing hands of Christ that we found there! #6 Told John that he should go ahead, with great conviction, in the book he wants to write about his journey from the Spiritual aspect! John told him that this is the main thing that he is striving for with this journey of the last 3 years called cancer/healing/spiritual awakening!
We had a special opportunity to share with a cousin, who is there in Rochester at this exact time for surgery on a tumor in his head by the same surgeon that did John's biopsy just about exactly 3 years ago. He is now in surgery and we are deeply in prayer for him! You can follow along today with his site -
We had the joy of spending some time in the amazing chapel at St Mary's where Pat and I found strength to give it over to the Lord, while John was in for his surgery. John really had never been there to see the majesty of HIS presence there in this spectacularly beautiful place! Looking at it yesterday and hearing my cousin say that they will be finding solace there today while Marc is in surgery...Jesus, we love and adore you, and ask that you allow us to always remember that you LOVE us without end, and without our earning it, and without our deserving it! Once again we were lowered into your presence by our friends in prayer! And once again you asked us to rise pick up our mat and walk! WE are healed and reminded that we are blessed with wonderful compassionate and caring doctors, family, prayer family, angels, saints, Our Lady, Queen of Heaven and Earth, and the Holy Trinity! What can we ever worry about with all of those around us? We know that this same spiritual army is surrounding Marc right now! Thank you, Jesus, that you are directing the doctor's hands this day and forward. "So let every good man pray to you in the time of need. The floods of water may reach high but him they will not reach. You are my hiding place, O Lord; you save me from distress. You surround me with cries of deliverance." Psalm 32 The craziness of the last few days are almost too much to fathom - other than once again we are reminded of YOU being all we need in life! Jesus, we cling to you the rock as the flood comes up to our necks - we are Trying Really Urgently Stiving To give it all to YOU - TRUST! Amen and Halleluia!
Bless-bless, Barb
That little lamb would be me these last days! Thank you, Lord, for carrying me when I couldn't make it on my own! The page for the 23rd psalm was worn and torn and repaired with tape in the Bible open in St Mary's chapel in Mayo... the most worn page of all!
The LORD Is My Shepherd - Psalm 23
23"The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want. 2 He maketh me to lie down in green [1] pastures: he leadeth me beside the still waters. 3 He restoreth my soul: he leadeth me in the paths of righteousness for his name's sake. 4 Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me. 5 Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies: thou anointest [2] my head with oil; my cup runneth over. 6 Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life: and I will dwell in the house of the Lord for ever." [3]
The King James version is the deeply familiar one from my childhood! How wonderful is this when we face the terrors of LIFE? No wonder it is worn more than any other words in HIS WORD!
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