Yes, it is obvious that this was for the Church directory the summer of 1989... John was about 6 months and note the bow tie... he broke the tradition of having a bow in his hair.. being the first boy! I was pregnant here, and lost one of my 5 month losses - William - just after Thanksgiving! It was very hard... I went in for my regular 5 month check up and he could not find the heartbeat! The ultrasound revealed that the little boy had died for some unknown reason. WE as a family grieved! AFter delivering him using a prostagladin suppository - used in 5 month abortion procedures! Ask me how hard this is to go through complete with labor and chills... so hard to think that women would do this to get rid of their unwanted baby! It was a tiny boy and we held it and cried... can you imagine what a wreck I was for quite a while afterwards?
Maria's first communion party... note the matching fabric - even John's shirt! The hair accessories got really creative this time! John's hair looks like it could use a topknot... don't worry I never really crossed that line!
When we brought William home in a tiny shoe box... the ground was frozen and we did not know what to do with him... we decided to bury him at the foot of the plot of my in laws... We had to place him in our freezer until we could get that done! It was hard to see that box to remind me of my sweet baby boy that I had grown to love... He is now at the cemetary with his brother,Robert... I lost him about 2 years later in the same way! Both of their cords were "fatally bent" so that they could not survive! They have a marker where they rest,and we hope to move them when we get around to getting our plots... we know that we are planted here in Marshall, Mn. There is not a lot of freedom to move anywhere when you farm the land!
The infamous Easter Hat- John falling down picture taken in Taylors Falls, Mn on Easter Sunday! It is probably in 1993 or so... My parents lived up on Angel hill until they answered the call of their friend Bishop Dudley... then Bishop of Sioux Falls Diocese. He asked my dad to come to Colman,SD for 3 years to be the administrator of the Catholic Church in this small farming town! It was 70 miles from my door to theirs! How I loved it! And they got a real love and knowledge of farming... they were city folks through and through, but they got immersed in the "good life" as Pat, my husband calls it! Now they interestingly enough live across the river in ST Croix Falls, Wisconsin!
Easter Sunday - probably 1990 now... John sure looks handsome in those bow ties... He still has a quirky sense of clothes... he wore dress shirts to school until that became popular to do...then he switched to Goodwill or out of his dad's closet..."old man sweaters"... I am sure that if you think about it you have seen John in some of the deer or golf scene sweaters! ONe thing about some of my kids... they thrive on being different... I wonder where they got that from? And I guess when I look at these...I can see why they turned out like that! If you are wondering about the theme for these pictures that I saved out of my scanned pictures... I was looking for the hair ribbon and bow theme last night when I was writing about the bow in Susan's hair at her college graduation! 
This window in the door going into the garage... has made for special reflections... this was just one of those goofy shots that are so special to me.. who knows how it all came together,but it is now a cherished keepsake of my sweet little Susie... How her life has gone in an amazing direction! If you can break out of the mold and "lies" of what it takes to be happy... the man/husband, the big house and all the toys first, then when you have those things in place - the two perfect kids, and then go to some exotic romantic place for vacations a few times a year,and have the best friends and social life to be envied.... Empty and sad and believe me... there is no way that this will find you happiness! Boring! I remember studying the 7 deadly sins in a video study group offered at church a few years ago now... They were speaking of "pride" - the most pervasive and difficult to deal with sin! There was talk on there of how boring life becomes when you are roped into the lies of pride and what life needs to be perfect in the eyes of the world! All I could think of was Susan and really all the girls that have embraced LIFE! Susan's life is anything but boring with her complete yes to her God and His calling her to be his bride! 
My birthday with the best presents that I could have ever asked for! After the losses... 6 ... they were more precious yet! I see to this day that there is a closeness among my kids and in our family and now growing extended family! There continues to be a deep respect and reverenece for life and openness to life! WE value each other and recognize that our entire family has had life for no matter how long... all the children that we were to have are either here with us - supporting and loving us! Or they are in heaven assisting us as we muddle through life and we look to the day that we will be united with our entire family! Christopher, Thomas, Joseph, William, Robert and Mary pray for us!
Maria with her namesake on her official birthday pose... new outfit sewed by mom, and then for the photo shoot! I see Ruth now with her sewing her famous Halloween costumes and before that she sewed the two girls their dresses they wore as flower girls in Nancy's wedding! It reminds me of the craziness of having the sewing projects going in the midst of having 5 kids and a farmer husband... It was crazy,but so special did the kids feel when they knew mom was sewing something just for them!
No, I didn't sew these... they came from Greece, and so they had to model them complete with the ever present hair adornments! With 4 girls in a row.. life turned into one big fashion show! People still talk about how I managed to get 4 girls hair done and dresses all matching and have them looking awake and put together at the7a mass! Just go down the line... then there was an audible sigh of relief when we carried in our blue bundle, John! "Then you had that boy! I had to call my daughter and tell her right away! We had watched you in church for years, and saw you have girl after girl... then you had that boy!" Some ladies I have never seen before will stop me to this day to comment on the girls hair and their "ribbons" and then how thrilled when we finally had John!
Well hair accessories would lead into hats at an older age! These were hats we picked up at Monks in Pipestone...we were passing through on our annual "skip day." The older girls would come home from college and the younger ones would skip school and we would go to SF for a nice meal at Olive Garden and do crazy things like buy "old hats" and be silly! It was second nature with all the bows and ribbons they had worn for all those years, right? Cherished memories!
Girl number 4 - Susan now little sister Hallel.. the bows as big as her head!
After John and all the accolaids that we had finally had a boy -"You had your boy so you quit!" That is what I have heard so often over the years when people know about our family. We were just up in Rochester this last year with John and his brain cancer and the nurse caring for him that day said this exact thing when we told her that John had 4 older sisters! John was quick to correct her, by sharing that he had 4 other siblings after him.. "No! WE were open to family! We did not stop after we got our boy! We just have to wait a bit longer to meet them, and they help us keep our eyes on heaven!" The young nurse was a bit taken aback... It is rare that they hear what we feel about family and LIFE!
Christmas 1982... When I picture Nancy's little baby growing in her womb... I visualize a little girl that looks like Nanuk of the North! She was so dark with a dark thick hair on her head... like a piece of fur... we called her our little Eskimo baby! I am somewhat sorry if I am rambling today and going over the things that I am sure some of you have heard many times! But I know that our experience and openness to family is rarely heard, so I feel that I want to share it more times than not! I will always remember Pat asking me if I wanted to switch to the Prolife doctor in town... Our doctor happened to be a wonderful kind man, but he was also very liberal and was the doctor that worked with Planned Parenthood and would ask me about birth control after a baby... at least for the first few... until I totally shut him down enough times that he didn't go there! I told Pat... "He needs to know that there are people like us out there!" And he was totally amazed, and never forgot my first visit to see him with my first pregnancy! "I will never forget," he told me when I was in losing my 11th pregnancy, "you came in and told me; 'I am going to have 12 kids!'" 
The Catholic food stand... before the girls were in 4H and we lived there for the entire fair! How fun to think of all that has happened over our 32 years together... the paschal mystery of the crosses and the resurrections... There have been highs and lows for sure! But no regrets at all! Just a lot of peace that we were open and that it all was according to His plan! Much the same feeling with this last almost year and a half with John's cancer! It certainly reminded us of the importance of family and what a blessing and comfort and support and place to find hope, trust, faith, and joy in the midst of the storm! Thank you Lord for family and for all the brothers and sisters here and in heaven! Pat and I both have siblings that are in heaven and that, as I have said, keeps our eyes and hearts heavenward!
How I love this from Ephesians... It was so powerful to remember in the last year and a half, but also as I have felt so alone in the way that I have looked at "life and family" in our marriage! I never doubted that this was the right thing for us and I sadly realized that so many families are missing out on the JOY of family and life, because of all the lies out there!
Ephesians 6: 12-17
"Therefore put on the armor of God, that you may be able to resist on the evil day and, having done everything, to hold your ground. So stand fast with your loins girded in truth, clothed with righteousness as a breastplate, and your feet shod in readiness for the gospel of peace. In all circumstances, hold faith as a shield, to quench all the flaming arrows of the evil one. And take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God." Wow! Thank you Lord! I truly do feel that I am Joan of Arc when I read this!
I know it is small, and it won't let me make it bigger... I had to pick this image as she has a wreath of olive leaves around her head... in keeping with my theme today of hair accessories... St Joan is Nancy's patron saint and comes to mind with the armor of God!
From Isaiah 59: 17
"The Lord put on justice as his breastplate, salvation, as the helmet on his head; He clothed himself with garments of vengence, wrapped himself in a mantle of zeal."
Finally, with Halloween in a few days... the corn leaf Hawian skirt year... WE trashed every house we went to this year... and came home with just the waste band and a few stubs where the corn leaves had been... it was a cute idea, but not really well thought out!
Pope Benedict talks today about - "Called to Carry the Light of God in this World"
"We must... learn to know intimately Jesus Christ, the God with the human face, and really come into contact with him. WE must learn to listen to him and learn to let him enter into us. Sacramental Communion is precisely this interpenetration between two persons. I do not take a piece of bread or meat, I take or open my heart so that the Risen One may enter the context of my being, so that he may be within me and not only outside me. In this way he speaks within me and transforms my being, giving me the meaning of justice, the dynamism of justice and the zeal for the Gospel."
Little Simon in grandpa's rubber boots - on this his feastday of St Simon the Apostle! He will always be reminded of his attachment to the Church by his patron saints! That is a beautiful gift that Ruth and Paul have blessed him with!
Dear Lord, bless our sweet little Simon in his life and may he always love and follow you and your Truth! He is armed for battle with a wonderful loving family planted firmly in your Church and Gospel! May he shine forth for all to see! Thank you for all that you do in our lives to make them amazing and exciting! To follow you and to embrace the Truth and Life is a wild and amazing ride! Up and down we go! Jesus, we trust in you! Amen and Halleluia!
Bless-bless, Barb"Do small things with great love." St Therese of the Little Flower
St Simon and St Jude pray for us!
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