This being Memorial weekend - we ended up at the cemetary after Church with Pat's mom and John. Being that close to John's brothers brought us to a deep feeling of loss, and what could have been. John noticed that William died the same year that he was born - 1989. "When did he die?" I told him that he died shortly after Thanksgiving - late November- early December, and that he had died at 5 months in the womb. I had gone in for my regular check up and we couldn't get a heartbeat... the ultrasound showed that he was dead, and so with the help of a 5 month abortion procedure - postagladin suppository- I delivered a tiny baby boy. John was born in Feb 3, 1989, so he and John would have been just 14 months apart. I could hear that John was getting choked up, and he came over and put his arm around me and asked me how I was, and told me that he missed his brothers. I could sense that he could understand how hard this was for me, and that he being the baby in my arms at the time... He could not have known that I suffered for this precious boy that was my lost son, and a future brother for John to go through life with. Now he can understand the pain and the loss, and feels the sadness that he was not allowed to have a brother to share his life in family with. A very real and hard time, when we felt their closeness, and thought about how life would have been very different with them here with us. Instead Jesus called them to be with him, and we will meet them in heaven along with the other 4 losses. They were a life, and no matter how short it was - they are loved by God, and will be there to make our family complete someday!
It was all very emotional and powerful for us... standing in the windblown cemetary with not only the boys, and the memory of the other losses to a total of 6 siblings that John will meet someday to complete his family. He has been blessed with brothers now in his 3 great brother in laws, as well as his fraternity brothers. He has been given brothers, and has had that experience along with a cousin, Brad, on the farm - just 6 weeks younger than he is. He has been blessed by his sisters, whom he loves so much and loves to spend time with. And he has been given brothers too! The boys are at the foot of the graves of their grandfather, Gerard, as well as their uncle Don. It was also a close experience with Uncle Don as we had talked about him on our way home from the Cities last night. John had never really known him or remembered him, so Pat shared a lot about his struggles with schizophrenia. After reliving much of our experience with him... to be physically close to his last resting place seemed very deeply powerful to all of us. There is something very REAL about visiting our dead in the cemetary. We all left there with a deep sense of life's uncertainty and the answers that we cannot understand...that we are called to Trust, and someday we will have the answers. Life is a mystery, and there is no solving it! Jesus, we love you and thank you for the ties we have to heaven. WE lift up our dead and their journey to you. Jesus, we trust in you. Amen and Halleluia
Bless-bless, Barb
"The spirit of the Lord fills the whole world!" Wisdom 1:7
"We believe in the Holy Spirit, The Lord, the Giver of LIFE!" the creed
Come Holy Spirit and dwell within our "paradise within" we want to be Christ's hands and feet!
"For Catholics the traditional visit to cemeteries and te decoration of family plots carries a special significance. We return to the graves of our beloved dead to perform an act of charity. Yes, we may tend to the physical appearance of the grave sites. Cleaning. Flowers. Flags, even. Yet our first purpose is to pray for the dead, to fulfill the great commandment of love.
When Catholics observe the commandment of love, we also renew our faith and hope in the God who, on the last day, will raise our own mortal bodies from the earth. We ask God to give us all that we need to ensure that at the resurrection of the dead we, together with our loved ones, will find ourselves in the company of the saints. Then we will be 'changed, in an instant, in the blink of an eye, at the last trumpet. For the trumpet will sound, the dead will be raised incorruptible, and we shall be changed.' "
I Corinthians 15: 51-52
Fr Romanus Cessario, OP
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